What My Newfound Love Of Lingerie Taught Me About Loving My Body
As someone who has always considered themselves beautiful at any size, I can't say that I have always loved my body. Sure, there have been moments where I thought I was the sexiest thing walking. But for the most part, all I saw when I looked in the mirror were flaws. My thighs were always too big. Butt full of dimples from cellulite. Boobs always in the way. And my arms too jiggly.
I never saw the same things as others when they looked at me because I was too focused on what I felt needed changing, which caused me to become insecure with my body. Feeling like it wasn't good enough.
At first, I thought that maybe if I lost weight, then I would finally be pleased with what I looked like on the outside. But no matter how small I got, I still couldn't see past my imperfections. Which led to years of comparing my body to countless models and celebrities, wishing I had what they had.
Abs like Janet Jackson. Thighs like Serena Williams. Arms like Angela Bassett. Booty like Melyssa Ford. Legs like Tina Turner. With perfect, perky boobs like Rihanna's that didn't require me to wear a bra.
To associates and the people closest to me, no one ever knew that I was dealing with these insecurities because all they saw was confidence when they saw me. I walk with my head held high, wear whatever I want, can be the life of a party, and have no problem with catching the eye of potential suitors. But on the inside, it was the total opposite.
Racquel Coral
I was always overly concerned about something falling out, feeling like I had to cover some part of my body or put on shapewear for a smoother appearance. It even got to the point where my body insecurities began spilling over into my relationships. I didn't want to be seen naked with the lights on. Sex had to be done in total darkness or at max, by candlelight. And the thought of wearing lingerie made me even more uncomfortable.
Even though, as a former Victoria's Secret Angel Card carrier, I, like many women eagerly anticipated their semi-annual sales so that I could rack up on all things satin, silk, velvet, and lace. But when it came time to wear it, I felt discomfort like no other. Resulting in a lot of those items being pushed to the back of my drawer only to never again see the light of day.
My body insecurities worsened over time, especially when I began to put on weight. I found myself wearing more black, turning down opportunities to go out, and shying away from cameras. It was bad enough that I knew I was gaining weight, but I didn't want others to notice it either.
Racquel Coral
However, at some point last year, shortly after I committed to a new fitness journey, I started to become comfortable in my body. Maybe it was because I needed to reach my heaviest size to appreciate the body that I had been given, or maybe I just reached the age where I stopped giving a damn. But something in me caused me to find my confidence.
And this newfound confidence made me want to invest in lingerie once again. But this time, with the intent to actually wear it.
So, I began purchasing pieces here and there. Trying them on while admiring my body in the mirror. Marveling at just how perfectly each piece adorned the areas that I thought were my ugliest. How the strings were strategically placed on various parts of my body. The lace seductively covered my most intimate parts. The cups lifted my breasts, giving them that perfect look that I had always strived for.
Even the way each item enhanced my God-given curves.
Racquel Coral
The way I looked when I saw myself in the mirror wearing my lingerie made me feel sexy, confident, bold, and beautiful. It forced me to see what others had always seen in me and to love my body in ways that I never thought were possible.
Nowadays, my drawers are filled with lingerie because I never want to lose sight of this feeling. I never want to revert to the days of feeling insecure in my body. Nor do I want to see flaws whenever I look in the mirror.
Because for me, wearing lingerie is more than just something to entice my partner or to spice things up in the bedroom. It is now a tool to help me feel sexy and remind me of my beauty. A way for me to fall deeper in love with my body. A symbol of how far I have come in my self-love, body-positivity journey.
Featured image by Racquel Coral
Racquel Coral is an experienced lifestyle writer focusing on self-love, growth, body positivity, and profiles of Black-owned businesses and community heros. Her work can be found here, and she can be found on all social media platforms @withloveracquel.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Recently, I watched Ayesha Curry and Lindsay Lohan on Hoda & Jenna discussing their new Netflix film Irish Wish. While they play BFFs in the movie, they also revealed that they were besties in real life. In fact, Ayesha and Steph Curry are godparents to Lindsey and her husband, Bader Shammas’ son Luai. I may be late to the party, but it got me to thinking: what other celebrities have other celebrities as godparents to their children? If you were wondering the same thing, then look no further. Below is a list of celebrities you may not have known were godparents.
Steph and Ayesha Curry and Lindsay Lohan
As I mentioned, this celebrity couple serves as godparents to Lindsay’s son. The actress and author, who is expecting her fourth child with the NBA champ, opened up about it on LIVE with Kelly and Mark. “Anytime somebody honors you and bestows that upon you, one, I’m like thank you ‘cause that means that you think I’m a semi-decent parent, but two, I’m just excited to have a hand in raising him and helping shepherd him in the right direction,” Ayesha said.
Zoë Kravitz, Marisa Tomei, and Cree Summer
Zoë Kravitz (L) and Cree Summer (R).
Photo by @iamcreesummer/ Instagram
Lisa Bonet enlisted a couple of her A Different Worldco-stars to be godmothers to Zoë Kravitz. Marisa Tomei and Cree Summer are both the godmothers of The Batman star, and they all appear to have a close relationship with each other.
Cicely Tyson and Lenny Kravitz
Legendary actress Cicely Tyson was Lenny Kravitz's godmother and the two shared an inseparable bond. When she passed in Jan 2021, the singer wrote a long, loving tribute on Instagram. "With inimitable style and grace, my dear Godmother Miss Cicely Tyson made her grand exit to the heavens. She lived a remarkable life up to the last moment," he began. "A true pioneer, who bared her heart and soul so we could witness the spirit of the characters she so brilliantly portrayed, which continue to move and inspire generations."
He continued, "A Black queen who showed us how beautiful black is," continued Kravitz. "The love between us was and is tremendous. As long as I have had consciousness, I've known Godmother. She and my mother were kindred spirits. Sisters. And after my mother passed, Godmother's role in my life was amplified." He concluded his post by saying how he spoke to her days before she passed and how she sent him her memoir Just As I Am.
Cicely Tyson, Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry (L) and Oprah Winfrey (R).
Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images for Warner Bros
Cicely also served as Tyler Perry's son Aman's godmother. But she didn’t have that role alone. Oprah Winfrey is also Aman's godmother. When the filmmaker visited The Real eight years ago, he talked about being a new dad and shared the best advice Oprah ever gave him. “I think the best advice that she’s given me is about just living in the moment. Just be present in what’s going on within your life."
Tyler Perry, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry
Speaking of Tyler Perry, the Madea creator is the godfather to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s daughter Princess Lilibet Diana. Tyler opened up about receiving that honor in the couple’s Netflix docuseries. "I had to take a minute to take that in," he said. “I thought, 'I'd be honored. I'd absolutely be honored.'”
Usher and Ben Vereen
Usher (L) and Ben Verneen (R).
Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images
Tony award-winning actor and dancer Ben Vereen is the godfather to “Superstar” singer Usher. While visiting The Kelly Clarkson Show in November 2021, Ben opened up about their relationship and revealed whether or not the multi-platinum artist takes his advice. “I love giving advice. He just don’t take it,” he said. The Roots star also joked about Usher stealing his moves for his “You Make Me Wanna” video.
Nicole Richie, Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson
When famed singer Lionel Richie adopted Nicole Richie, he bestowed the illustrious title of godfather to two fellow legends, Quincy Jones and the late Michael Jackson. Lionel frequently collaborated with both Quincy and Michael throughout his career.
Star Jones and Vanesa Bell Calloway
Vanessa Bell Calloway (L) and Star Jones (R).
Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Divorce Court judge Star Jones is the godmother to both of Vanessa Bell Calloway’s daughters, Ashley and Alexandra. They are also all sorority sisters as they are members of Alpha Kappa Alpha.
CeCe Winans and Bobbi Kristina
CeCe Winans was the godmother to Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina. The gospel legend spoke about dealing with Bobbi’s death in an interview with Toledo’s The Blade. "I don't think there's any words to describe a loss like that. I still can't believe it.
“At the same time, I guess you're just not surprised when drugs are involved in anybody's life," she said. "Most of the time it doesn't turn out well. I pray for the family. I still can't believe Whitney's gone, but now to see that Bobbi Kris is gone too … you just can't even come to grips with it."
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Feature images by Momodu Mansaray/WireImage, Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Academy Museum of Motion Pictures