On television, we know her as "Coach D" and her dance students and dance moms affectionately refer to her as "Miss D" or "Mom D." In real life, however, her close family and friends know her more intimately as Dianna Williams – a wife, mother, and an entrepreneur.
Every week, viewers tune in to see how Coach D will deliver another dance competition victory for her talented and unstoppable Dancing Doll factory (#DD4L) on the Lifetime hit series Bring It!. Dianna's tough, no-nonsense, and powerful method of coaching clearly works when it comes to encouraging and empowering her dancers to leave it all on the dance floor. It's no wonder that the Dancing Dolls bring the heat and take home a victory almost every competition.
Dianna not only knows how to win on the dance floor, she also wins in another important part of her life: marriage. This is evident by the fact that she and her husband, Robert Williams, recently celebrated ten years of marriage, which is something Dianna does not take lightly. "When you're married, it's definitely a life-altering situation. I feel like one year is something to celebrate," she revealed exclusively to xoNecole.
Viewers often see her tough exterior on the show, but it's her softer and more vulnerable side that we aren't always privy to. Nevertheless, she's managed, and is learning how to embrace and balance both her strong and vulnerable sides.
Being in the public eye and being successful can easily cause one to develop a rough exterior of protection. However, Dianna has always felt the need to protect herself because she was constantly being judged, and she can remember having shade thrown at her since she was a little girl. Hence, the inspiration for her new book Standing in the Shade.
"We share a love amongst each other that other people don't get to see. My husband isn't judgmental and I've been through a lot. He's been consistent, loving me through it and unashamedly."
It's the time she spends with her husband when she feels most comfortable and allows herself to be vulnerable. From national competitions to tours and appearances, Dianna is constantly on-the-go, but having her husband by her side serves as the constant support she desires to help balance everything. "It's comforting. I feel like I have a safety net. When I'm at home, I know I'm okay. If anything happens, he will make sure it's okay," she shared.
And for Dianna, her love for and support from Robert isn't anything new. Although Robert was living in Atlanta at the time, it was at a club in Jackson, Mississippi where they first met. He was so captivated by Dianna's beauty and her personality that he immediately proclaimed that night on the dance floor, "Girl you look so good. You're going to make me move back to Jackson."
Instagram/@mrs_d2uAnd just like that, Robert packed up his things and moved to Missippi to pursue a life with the woman of his dreams. "People say stuff…and you never believe it's true or [that] it's going to work out but he actually moved back to Jackson," Dianna said.
For the first three or four months, their relationship was tested and they went through a lot together. While Dianna and Robert were excited to celebrate this new beginning together in Jackson, it was bittersweet as well because Robert ended up losing his job for a period. Nevertheless, it didn't stop Robert from showing Dianna that he could hold his own and be the man that he wanted to be for her.
For Dianna, that was the first time in a long time that she didn't have to take care of somebody else. She saw his resilience and his strong work ethic, which attracted her to him that much more. "He did things to make sure we had food in the house. Nothing was ever too grimy [for him]. Seeing that in him, him wanting me to be okay… for the first time in a long time, it wasn't me having to take care of anybody. He was looking out for me."
Although Robert was and has always been ready and willing to step up and be the man for her, the transition for Dianna wasn't (and at times still isn't) always easy for her. According to Coach D, she's always felt as if she's had to be independent. Since the age of nine, for more than twenty years of her life, she was constantly cooking, cleaning, and looking after her brothers. Hence, she has always taken on the role of "the boss," which has obviously helped her to be as successful as she is now. However, she didn't know how to allow others to help her, which is something she still struggles with to this day as a married woman.
"My husband is a good man, but I've been independent for so long. It's not that I don't think my husband [or] feel like my husband wouldn't take care of me or wouldn't do certain things, but I'm just so used to doing it or getting it done."
Nevertheless, after ten successful years of marriage, Dianna and Robert are finding the balance and making it work. Between filming, working, and traveling, Dianna's schedule can become quite busy and hectic. The fact that Robert gets up with their son every single morning and takes him to school proves that teamwork makes the dream work. Even when she needs him to be with her on the road, he's there.
Besides being a mom, wife, coach, and TV personality, she also owns and manages three Dollhouse Dance Studios; she's an author; she released a new set of emojis (DD4L Emojis), and she recently started a non-profit foundation. It's no surprise that the outside stress and noise of everything that comes with proactively pursuing your dreams can be quite overwhelming at times, but Robert is always there to encourage her. "My husband definitely lets me cry and I cry a lot. He tells me 'I'm going to let you cry, but when we're done, we're done. This is the gift that you have. I'm not going to let you walk away until you're sure you're done. We're not going to do it out of emotion and frustration so you don't live with regret.'"
Courtesy of Dianna Williams
He also reminds her of who she is in moments life makes her question that. "'Remember who you are,'" she recalls him saying. "'There is strength in who you are!'"
It's obvious through all of her success that Dianna is committed to winning the dancefloor but even more importantly, she is committed to maintaining a winning marriage. For Dianna, she's learned that in order to be successful in marriage you have to listen, be open-minded, learn to compromise, and you can't be selfish. And her biggest key? She believes marriage is truly victorious when "you allow your partner to win as much as you want to win."
To keep up with Coach D, follow her on Instagram.
Feature image courtesy of Twitter/@I_AM_DIANNA.
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These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyOkay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
Giphy1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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