9 Signs He Might Be The One
There's nothing like that interesting space in a relationship where you could see yourself falling for a guy.
On one hand, it's an exciting time – butterflies and ice cream dates make it easy to envision the relationship going places. And on the other, we are a little nervous about the investment. What if he turns out like the others? What if it doesn't work out? Is he really the one?
Here's a checklist that can help you determine whether your latest love interest is Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.
1.He Claims You
In a world where long-term situationships are common place, it's refreshing when a man is clear about being in a committed relationship with you.
If he doesn't hesitate to introduce you as the one, there's a good chance he's invested in making it work.
Pay attention to whether he brags about you to friends, family, and coworkers. A genuine, "I've heard so much about you," is always a good sign.
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Kandice Guice is a lifestyle and beauty writer who doubles as an attorney and entrepreneur. She prides herself on helping multidimensional women discover personal and professional fulfillment by encouraging them to live with ambition, sass, and a whole lot of pizzazz. When Kandice isn't closing corporate transactions or writing blog posts, she is usually cheering on her husband as a football coach or looking for new travel adventures with friends and family. Check her out at kandiceguice.com and follow her on all things social @kandiceguice.
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Exclusive: Kelis On Finding Freedom In Farming, The Power Of Her “No,” And Prioritizing What Feels Good Always
Singer, songwriter, and certified chef Kelis has served us everything we need for more than two decades.
From electrifying performances to timeless classics, the “Milkshake” singer is a true pop icon and one of music’s most beloved rebels. While some artists clamor for acceptance and cling desperately to the need to remain relevant, Kelis has always seemed to embrace the inevitability of being misunderstood. Perhaps what has always brought us to her table is that irreverence, as it has never appeared to be a performance of rebellion but rather proof of the courage it takes to show up in the fullness of yourself time and time again.
In her latest chapter, as farmer and owner of the organic wellness and food brand Bounty and Full, Kelis is once again challenging the status quo. From proving that farming can be sexy with her “farm fashion” check-ins to keeping it real about everything from dairy consumption (she says yes to milk, by the way!) to how we should season our cultural food favorites, the 44-year-old mother of two is as magnetic, daring and liberated as ever. And she still doesn’t care how anyone feels about it.
xoNecole caught up with Kelis to talk about the significance of Black people owning and farming the land we once tilled, how she uses the power of saying “no” in her life, and her latest partnership with Lactaid that gives everyone the opportunity to enjoy real dairy this holiday season.
xoNecole: Oftentimes, people focus on your life as a Black woman farmer from the aspect of seeing a successful artist move into a new path in life, but there is something very revolutionary about returning to the land and focusing on food, considering how both have been weaponized against us throughout the years.
Kelis: Totally.It is my rebellion. It is my freedom. It is my control. It is my response to everything else that’s happening in the world. You’re able to control what you eat, and as Black people, as women, or just as marginalized communities, we have to start to take control back for ourselves. That’s the most important thing. I also think that as farming goes, it somehow got branded as unattractive or not sexy, but I think the sexiest thing you can do is own your own land and create your own destiny. To me, that’s power.
That’s what I want my children to take from this. That’s how I feel when I get up every morning. It’s hard work, but I love every second of it because I know I am living a life that’s good and that wasn’t given to me. No one wants this for us, this is something we have to take for ourselves.
"I think the sexiest thing you can do is own your own land and create your own destiny. To me, that’s power."
xoN: Being Black women, our "noes" are often what save us more so than what we say “yes” to. You’re someone who's always rebelled against expectations and rules. How has the price and power of “no” played out in your career as well as in this new chapter of your life?
Kelis: I am definitely comfortable saying “no” (laughs). I know what matters to me. I know what I want to matter to my children. And I know what I want them to see me doing. When I say “no” for something, it’s never about anyone else, it’s always about what’s best for me and mine. I agree most of our control comes from the power of “no.” I think by virtue of no one even asking us before, us being able to put our foot down and say “no, thank you” is fine. It’s important, and it is empowering. On the flip side, when I do say “yes,” that has a lot of power as well. Because I obviously don’t say “yes” to everything.
Your voice then has weight to it because you’re a person of character. Sometimes that thing is just not for me and it doesn’t feel good for who I am. I am never going to try to fit myself into someone else’s cape. This is what I look, this is how I feel, this is what I sound like, this is what I’m willing to do.
xoN: You are a trendsetter, and that requires so much courage and belief in yourself. How have you used that same fire you infused into life as a musician into this new chapter in your life?
Kelis: It’s sort of just my personality. I’m never looking for anyone’s validation. For me to make music, or be a chef, or start my company Bounty & Full, I want things that are good, but it’s important that they feel good to me. As a result of that, it can be a blessing to someone else. I genuinely care about what I do, so it’s going to be good. I put my name on everything that I do because I know it’s my best. I care, and I do enough research, and I’ve seen enough. I can see when something can be better.
Wanting to start a farm and start a business, I want it to be great. Once I put it out there, I’m not worried about what anyone else thinks about it. I know it’s good, and if you decide not to participate, then that’s your choice. But it won’t be because it’s not good. I don’t walk around thinking I am going to be rebellious or different; I just do what I’m doing, and it’s usually just not what everyone else is doing.
"I don't walk around thinking I am going to be rebellious or different; I just do what I am doing, and it's usually just not what everyone is doing."
xoN: Let’s talk food. It’s the holiday season, and everyone’s stressed over what to make, how to fit into all the different dietary restrictions. What are the things that we should be making sure to say yes to on our holiday tables this season?
Kelis: Every family has their things. For me, cornbread. Everyone loves my cornbread and always requests it. My son is going to want mac and cheese. But I do believe that gravy is the most important thing on the table. Every family eats a certain way, but I think ingredients are the most important thing. No matter what you do, if you’re using good ingredients, it’s going to shine through. People will feel good about it.
xoN: Are there any Kelis-approved or disapproved holiday favorites?
Kelis: I think canned cranberry sauce should be banned.
xoN: Really? People love the canned cranberry sauce!
Kelis: It’s because they don’t know anything else. If you have actual cranberries and then someone gives you that, you’re, like ‘What is this disaster you’ve given me?’. It should be removed eternally, I hate it. Everything else is about personal preference. But I do think milk is a thing. I’m not really into substitutes.
If you don’t eat something, that’s fine, but I don’t think you should have an imitation of it. If you’re a vegetarian or a vegan, that’s totally fine, but I don’t like the fake meats, that’s weird to me.
xoN: That goes back to the fresh ingredients.
Kelis: That’s exactly it. To me, it’s very counterintuitive. I have no problem cooking vegan or eating vegan. But I want it to be good and healthy and right. Rather than trying to make it taste like something that you should just actually eat, if you want it. To me, you want the least amount of manhandling possible. So, anything that’s overprocessed is not the answer at all.
xoN: You’ve collaborated with Lactaid this year in a bit of a “wink wink” to your hit song “Milkshake,” so what brought you to want to partner with the company for the Eggnog and Ice Cream milkshake?
Kelis: A few things. Like we talked earlier about saying “no,” initially, I didn’t think that the partnership was something I wanted to do. I didn’t really know anything about Lactaid, and I didn’t look into it. But then I said ‘before I say “no,” let me do some research.’ I didn’t know that Lactaid was actually milk. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I had no clue that it was actually farm-fresh milk. The first thing that occurred to me was that I do so much food research all the time, and if I didn’t know that, then there are tons of people who must not know as well.
I felt that there needed to be more conversation about that. I think that people who like milk should drink milk. I’m not on a crusade for that, but it’s my belief. So with this collaboration, we’re just telling people ‘this is real milk; you can enjoy it and love it.’
That was the driving force for me.
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Featured image by Michael Simon