Most of the energy this month is activated in Scorpio and Sagittarius—two very different zodiac signs but surprisingly symbiotic. The first part of November has us exploring our feels with the Sun and Mercury transiting through the intense water sign often known for being secretive, moody, and even vengeful.
Introspection is encouraged to help you pinpoint the root of any emotional triggers to transform the pain of old grievances. Moving into the latter part of the month, the energy lightens up as we get into Sagittarius season, motivating us to embrace the wisdom gained from our most trying moments and to continue to be a light in the world.
Check out your horoscope below to see what November has in store for you!
November begins with Venus lightening up matters of the heart on the 1st. Fortune favors the bold so don't be afraid to shoot your shot. The Full Moon on the 12th helps you get clear about your worth, making this an opportune time to revise or end any contracts that aren't meeting your expectations. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio encouraging you to find healthy ways to express your anger before it gets the best of you. Mercury goes direct on the 20th which helps you find the right words to express those unprocessed emotions that have been steaming beneath the surface.
On the 22nd, Sagittarius season begins, making you feel more rejuvenated than you have been in the past few months. This is a great time to get your ideas out there along with any educational or written work you want to share. Venus moves into Capricorn on the 26th and love matters get more serious. Career progression is also likely under this influence that is helping you attract more long-term wealth and success. November ends on a high note with a New Moon inviting you to satisfy your wanderlust, get passionate about your spiritual practice, and maybe even share your gems of wisdom with people that could use some motivation.
The month begins with you focused on gaining a deeper understanding about how you aren't living out your own personal truth which could involve a therapy session or some personal analysis. When it comes to love, you're attracting more inquisitive, "Can I pick your brain?" types that may be a catalyst for you to fully express who you know yourself to be. On the 12th, the Full Moon in your sign marks the big reveal. It's time to show the world what you're made of! Around the 19th, much of your energy shifts to relationships. Be mindful of passive-aggressive tendencies towards your significant other or business connections while Mars transits through Scorpio. Mercury goes direct on the 20th, helping you get in control of your communication and work out any kinks in your close connections.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd and you're feeling all the more empowered and optimistic about life—the good and especially the bad. Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way and you're open to embracing the past for all that it taught you. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, attracting travel and even teaching opportunities that allow you to share your wealth of knowledge. The month comes to a close with a New Moon on the 27th, giving you that fresh start that you've been waiting for along with a new lease on life.
November begins with your attention shifting to relationships and contracts for the majority of the month. With Venus transiting through Sagittarius, it's time to shake up the energy and invite a little more excitement into these areas of your life. On the 12th, the Full Moon in Taurus enhances your intuition and dream world. A longstanding lesson or cycle you've been going through will likely come to completion if you're open to surrendering the outdated for something much better. Mars amps up your energy (and libido), while it transits through Scorpio. This is a good time to get back into the gym or burn off some stress in the bedroom. Whether you're booed up or happily single, prioritizing more pleasure in your daily routine will be beneficial.
On the 20th, Mercury goes direct helping you smooth out any difficulties within the workplace and finally getting your plans back on track. The Sun moves into wild and free Sagittarius on the 22nd. If your relationship feels stale, this is a good time to plan an adventure with bae to shake things up. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and love matters get hella serious all of a sudden. You may find yourself deepening an existing connection during the next few weeks. Conversations about sharing finances and resources are likely during this time. The month comes to an end with a bold New Moon on the 26th, inviting a more solid relationship or business agreement into the forefront.
The month begins with love and money on the brain with Venus beginning her transit through Sagittarius on the 1st. A workplace romance may invite some much-needed adventure into your life or even an opportunity to travel on behalf of your employer. The Full Moon on the 12th reveals the true intentions of those in your social circle and may have you reassessing whether some of your connections hold the same weight that they used to. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, heating up romance and enhancing your creative energy. Remember that playtime isn't just for kids. It's time to prioritize more fun in your life!
After spending a few weeks in retrograde, Mercury goes direct, making this a great time to reveal that project you've been working on behind the scenes. Family planning is also favored at this time. The Sun moves into Sagittarius on the 22nd, bringing your focus to health and wellness. Get back in the gym, try that detox, and don't forget to schedule your annual medical screening. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and you're getting serious about a commitment. Proposals and wedding bells are in the air. If love matters are kinda dry, this transit could result in a solid business contract or new job coming in for you. November winds down with a New Moon, inviting you to prioritize more of what (and who) you love.
November begins with Venus bringing the heat to matters of romance, fertility, and creativity. Mix all three together and you may have a bun in the oven before the year is over. On the 12th, the Full Moon highlights a professional achievement possibly resulting in a promotion. If you feel like your current career path isn't doing it for you, this could be a time to explore other options. Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, giving you the energy you need to get your living arrangements in order for the hibernation season ahead. Some of you may be planning to relocate or renovate your current space. With holiday season approaching, do your best to avoid family drama.
Mercury goes direct on the 20th, helping you to reel it in just before Thanksgiving so you don't drag everyone for filth at the dinner table. On the 22nd, Sagittarius season officially begins which brings your focus to adventure and play. It's time to tend to the desires of your inner-child or spend a little extra time with your own kids to bring more joy into your life. Venus makes her way into Capricorn on the 25th, encouraging you to buckle down and get more organized in the workspace. If you're open to love, you may be attracting someone in a position of authority at the office. The month comes to a close with a vibrant New Moon, inspiring you to dive into that creative project or express yourself more authentically in the world. It's time to let your radiant soul shine brighter than ever before.
The month begins with Venus moving into Sagittarius on the 1st, making family and home your safe haven. Beautifying your living space for the holidays is favored at this time. On the 12th, the Full Moon is a perfect time to reveal a written or educational project you've been working on behind the scenes. You could also be placed in a position to share your wisdom with those seeking guidance. Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, inviting you to find healthy ways to express your anger and any other unresolved emotions brooding beneath the surface. Mercury goes direct the next day, helping you to avoid "foot in the mouth" syndrome as you begin to find your voice to communicate some of your deepest feels.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, gifting you with the holiday spirit. There's a lot going on at home during this transit as you get your space ready for entertaining family and friends. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and you're ready to get serious with someone you've been casually dating. You're also extremely magnetic for financial opportunities that allow you to share your creative side. The month comes to a close with an inspirational New Moon, encouraging you to drop the mask and start showing up as the real you amongst your family. It's up to you to create a new generational cycle that values authenticity and leadership—not just blending in with the crowd.
The month begins with your ruling planet, Venus, helping you attract good fortune and opportunities that allow you to utilize what you've been learning about—whether formally or informally. It's time to put those public speaking, writing, or social media skills to use. If you're open to love, online dating may work in your favor better than usual. On the 12th, the Full Moon liberates you from a hauntingly painful experience that damaged your self-esteem. When it comes finances, you're making a big payoff towards any debt you've incurred.
Feisty Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, pushing you to get your money matters in order. Reassess your financial beliefs and practices to overcome hurdles in this area. Mercury goes direct on the 20th, granting you the clarity needed to establish a plan of action towards greater material abundance. On the 22nd, Sagittarius season officially begins and you're in the mood to mingle at the upcoming holiday parties. Venus moves into Capricorn on the 25th, making you the center of attention amongst your family and the perfect host for gatherings at your home. November comes to an exciting close with a New Moon, reminding you to stop with all of the people-pleasing and start owning your truth (whether others like it or not).
Your birthday season begins with Venus blessing your finances and self-esteem. This is a perfect time to reassess if you love how you're making money and what financial freedom looks like for you. The Full Moon on the 12th can signify a revelation about a key relationship or business contract that needs some recalibrating or a final ending. On the 19th, Mars moves into your sign, making you a lot more energetic, and moodier, than usual. Find healthy ways to express your anger during this transit. Mercury goes direct the next day, offering you some relief from the muddled thoughts and feelings you've experienced over the past few weeks.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, making you more consciously aware of your spending habits. It may be time to reel it in regardless of it being holiday season. You don't have to break the bank to show someone that you care. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, helping you wield the power of communication and social media. Investing in an online course or school will yield positive results that are preparing you for the opportunities that lie ahead. The month ends on a high note with a New Moon, gifting you some extra income through a new job or hustle. Stop sleeping on your talents and get in your bag!
November begins with Venus moving into your sign, making you even more attractive than usual. Good fortune abounds when the planet of love and money is transiting your sign. The Full Moon on the 12th may mark an ending in the workplace due to a transition into a new role, department, or company. Matters of health and wellness are also highlighted at this time as you're encouraged to resolve some habits that just don't benefit you. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, making you a lot more likely to pop off. Be mindful of projecting or clinging to unresolved emotions that are subconsciously affecting the way you express anger. Mercury extends its support when it goes direct on the 20th, helping you get clear about the root of your frustrations. Your dreams will provide even deeper insight that can help you let go of lingering resentment towards a person or situation.
Your birthday season officially begins on the 22nd and all eyes are on you. Reinvent yourself. Switch up your hairstyle. Invest in a new wardrobe. It's time to reintroduce the new and improved version of yourself to the world. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, aligning you with financial support and opportunities that get you paid for doing what you love. If you're open to romance, a more serious prospect may come into the picture. The month ends on a high note with your New Moon, inviting you to set some intentions concerning what you'd like to experience in the year ahead.
The month begins with Venus moving into the part of your sky that activates your subconscious and karma. Take some time to reflect on any beliefs or habits that restrict your financial flow and even your ability to receive the love you truly deserve. On the 12th, the Full Moon helps you see through any illusions about someone you've been casually dating. Once Venus moves into your sign later this month, you'll be more interested in taking things to the next level or putting your current prospect on the chopping block. Romance not a priority? Use this energy to wrap up that project to prepare for the big reveal.
On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio and much of your energy is exerted towards networking with like-minded folks. This transit can make you more short-tempered than usual, so be patient with your social circle. If you need time alone, communicate this without snapping on anyone. Mercury going direct on the 20th will help you express yourself from a more vulnerable, compassionate space. Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, encouraging you to reflect about the past year while the optimistic New Moon on the 26th invites you to surrender your expectations and trust your vision.
On the 1st, Venus moves into the part of your sky that has to do with your social circle and long-term vision for your life. Use this time to re-examine if you're in alignment with your tribe or whether you're just going through the motions with a group just because there's "history". You'll know you're around the right people when the Universe starts opening up to you with new, exciting opportunities for expansion. The Full Moon on the 12th enhances your psychic abilities and dream world, granting you with clarity about the legacy you're building.
On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, making you hyper-focused on your career advancement. Be mindful of power struggles with authority figures around this time. Mercury direct is here to back you up on the 20th reminding you that "it's not what you say but how you say it." The Sun moves into Sagittarius on the 22nd, encouraging you to gather with your friends to take your mind off of the stress. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn helping you attract love and financial support from someone in a position of power. November ends on a high note with a New Moon on the 26th, inviting you to collaborate with those kindred souls destined to assist you in turning your vision into a reality.
November begins with Venus helping you attract good fortune and admiration in your career endeavors. On the 12th, the Full Moon places the spotlight on your social media and personal brand. People want to hear what you have to say! This is a favorable time to complete that project or educational course you've been working on. Mars, the warrior, moves into Scorpio on the 19th, encouraging you to dive deep into a topic of interest or to share your expertise with others. After spending a few weeks in retrograde, Mercury goes direct on the 20th. It's time to reveal that new blog or book you've been toiling away at. Any travel plans you're making around this time get a bit easier as well.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd and you're making quite the impression on your manager or an influential person. Developing your leadership abilities is recommended if you want to be more successful in the professional world. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Don't like the people you're surrounded by? Well, change it by recognizing what inner-transformation needs to take place. The month ends on a high note with a New Moon, gifting you with a promotion or recognition for a well-earned achievement.
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Here's Why Very Few Relationships Can Actually Be 'Platonic'
Recently, while in an interview, someone asked me if I think that men and women can be just friends. I didn’t even hesitate to answer; my response was immediate, “Absolutely.” What I followed that up with is what intrigued them — “Life has taught me that not a lot of male/female dynamics are ‘platonic,’ though.” When they asked me to expound, the interview ended up taking a whole ‘nother turn.
As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY MeansGiphy
So, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…Giphy
At this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?Giphy
Now that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC FriendshipsGiphy
Before I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All CostsGiphy
Let me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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