Eclipse Season this year is about focusing on where you are directing your energy, and what new developments taking place are helping your personal and relationship growth overall. This first Eclipse Season of the year is a ground-breaking time for relationships, and we are seeing where more balance may be needed here. Eclipse Season is when the eclipses of the year happen back-to-back, first at the beginning of the year and then in the second half of the year.
This first Eclipse Season of 2024 will be in the signs of Aries and Libra, who are sister signs in Astrology. This combination of Eclipses will highlight how you are balancing your personal goals with those of your relationships and where life goes when you are leading from the passion of your heart.
What The First Eclipse Season of 2024 Means in Astrology
Eclipses are always an eye-opening time, and they tend to bring massive changes and wake-up calls. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25 is one of those times, and this Eclipse is all about letting go of the past in love. During a Lunar Eclipse, we are presented with a type of clarity that changes the direction of things, and with this eclipse happening in Libra, a lot of this has to do with relationships and finances. We are presented with an opportunity to learn through love, and to also gain a deeper understanding of what is needed in our partnerships, financial world, and sense of peace in life.
During this eclipse, ask yourself where can you bring more balance into your one-on-one relationships, and where can you let go more. This eclipse will be the second part of the Libra Eclipse from October 14, 2023, so think back to what was happening then, to see where some final clarity is beaming on such matters.
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on April 8, brings new energy into our lives, but the stability of said matters can be somewhat shaky for the time being, especially since this eclipse will be happening in feisty Aries. With this eclipse aligning with the North Node and Chiron who are currently in Aries, however, new opportunities and spaces for healing are presenting themselves overall. Look out for the synchronicity during this eclipse, and expect the unexpected. Solar Eclipses have the power to reinvigorate you and your life, and you can tap into its powerful energy by moving forward with a new beginning and not shying away from change.
This Eclipse Season is a reminder that you are worthy of success, freedom, clarity, and love, and it’s time to unburden yourself from the fears and restrictions towards that. With Mercury in retrograde during this Eclipse Season, things can feel intense during this time, and it will be showcasing what better ways you can navigate and understand both the mind and the heart. Remember, it’s all about having balance right now, so do the things you feel are going to keep you in that space.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below, to see how this Eclipse Season will illuminate your life.
Eclipse Season 2024 Horoscope Predictions for Each Zodiac Sign
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanARIES
This Eclipse Season is even more significant for you, Aries, being that they are happening in your sister sign, and later in your sign. The lunar eclipse in March is an awakening time for you, and it’s awakening your inspiration, creativity, and passion for life and love. You are having some eye-opening moments right now and are seeing the clear vision of your future and the past you are leaving behind. Your guidance of the Lunar Eclipse in Libra is to let go of making things harder than they need to be on the path to your dreams and focus on how you can make your visions a reality.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season will be in your sign on April 8, and this Solar Eclipse is another one of those enlightening experiences for you. You are getting the answers you have been looking for and are setting yourself free from the things that restrict your sense of self. You are not playing small right now, and you are truly creating from the heart. Remember to take things one day at a time during these eclipses, however, as Mercury will also be retrograde in your sign in the midst of it all. Things are shaking up for you right now, but you are the one in charge of it at the end of the day.
TAURUS
Your intuition is your most powerful asset during this Eclipse Season, Taurus. The Full Moon Eclipse happening at the end of March will highlight that truth to you and bring things to the surface that remind you of how far you have come. This eclipse is a time to take care of yourself, focus on your inner and outer well-being, and be around the people who inspire you.
You are leading the way forward right now, but also need some time to truly grasp what you are leaving behind in the process and what you want to dedicate yourself and your time to now.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries, occurring on April 8, will be in your 12th house of closure, healing, dreams, and spirituality, and you are seeing the gifts of creating more space and freedom in your life. This is a time of gaining some powerful insights and opening up to new perspectives that allow you to heal. You are starting from square one in many ways right now but are moving forward towards more progress nonetheless. The mountains you have climbed are behind you now, and it’s time to expect more ease and to believe that things can be more effortless for you in life.
GEMINI
Balance is needed during this Eclipse Season, Gemini. The first eclipse happening on March 25 will be occurring in a fellow air sign, Libra, and you are positively aligning with the energy. This is a Lunar Eclipse of seeing dreams come to fruition and feeling a deep sense of fulfillment in your life. With this Full Moon Eclipse highlighting your 5th house of romance, you are seeing some pleasant occurrences in love bloom for you now. You have had high expectations and have not wavered on what your heart wants, and you are seeing the success that comes from having this type of faith in yourself and the universe.
On April 8, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Aries, reminding you that sometimes letting go means moving forward. You have gained a lot of clarity on where the love is in your life and where it isn’t, and you are looking to move away from those people or experiences who leave you feeling more drained than loved. There are some surprises in store for you now, and you are working on creating more space to let them in. Focus on your community, your friendships, your soulmates, and how you can be more vulnerable or honest with others about how you are feeling in those spaces.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanCANCER
This Eclipse Season for you, is about getting into a good headspace, Cancer. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is highlighting what thoughts and perspectives have been limiting your personal growth, and which ones encourage. You are letting go of fears, self-sabotage, and overthinking what needs to be trusted more. With this eclipse happening in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations, this is where shake-ups will be happening and where you may need to work on letting go more. This is a good time to journal your thoughts, meditate, and get some extra rest.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries happening at the beginning of April will be a time of passion, finding a new direction, and overall you are connecting the dots right now. Your career, goals, and professional world are all highlighted during this eclipse, and this is where new beginnings are more likely for you now. Remember to give yourself more compassion and self-trust when it comes to the dreams you want to see through and know that sometimes all it takes is making that first step towards them to feel better about everything.
LEO
It’s time to take a pause and to regroup, Leo. This Eclipse Season is giving you just that, and some more patience will be needed during this time. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is giving you the space to rethink some future plans and goals. You may feel like things are being put on hold right now, and that’s because more information needs to come to the surface. Mercury will be retrograde during this Eclipse Season and it’s not the time to rush what needs more growth.
Know that when plans change, a better path is being opened up to you, oftentimes even better than expected.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries on April 8 is about making some important decisions for your future. You are being presented with a few different opportunities and new doors opening right now, and you are being reminded to not only make decisions from the head but from the heart, too. Focus on where you are feeling called and pulled towards rather than what you think people are expecting of you. It’s time to broaden your horizons and focus on the big picture of it all so that you can make the decisions that are not only going to benefit you right now but your future as well.
VIRGO
This Eclipse Season is a big time of change for your financial world, Virgo. You are balancing the abundance you are bringing in, with the future abundance you are investing in, and this is the time to sort through this area of your life. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 will be bringing things full circle for you financially, and you are receiving your success and due rewards now. This is an abundant Full Moon for you, and one when you are embracing the support from your peers and support systems and are focused on what your personal growth can do for the growth of your relationships as well.
The Solar Eclipse, however, may need more of your patience and grace as you are juggling a lot during this time, Virgo. This New Moon is overall another chance at a new beginning for you and your personal sense of abundance, but it’s also reminding you to not take on more than you are prepared to. Make sure you are thoroughly looking over expenses, contracts, and the budget this Eclipse Season, as you may have to spend more than you were expecting. Overall, there’s a chance to put yourself in a better or more stable position financially during this eclipse, and you are letting go of not valuing your time, energy, and skill as much as you should.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanLIBRA
A time of love, connection, and clarity is upon you, Libra. This Eclipse Season is beginning in your sign, with a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25. You have been focused a lot on your goals in love while also trying to put yourself first more here, and you are finding the perfect balance in the middle right now. With this eclipse in your sign, you are moving through a metamorphosis this Eclipse Season, and it’s bringing forth the clarity of what you need and want in love. You are seeing clearly what path is going to lead you to more of the things you want here, and are letting go of worrying about whether you will receive them or not.
The Solar Eclipse in April is happening in your opposite sign, and you are experiencing a positive renewal in love. You are coming together with another, and the changes that are happening in your life right now are overall beneficial to your relationships and your love life. What you were once daydreaming about and putting the feelers out there for is manifesting for you now, and it’s all about embarking on a new journey of romance. Life is unfolding for you and showing you how good things can get for you when you bridge that gap that separates you from another, Libra.
SCORPIO
This is a rejuvenating Eclipse Season for you, Scorpio. You are feeling empowered with the changes that are flowing through your life now, and they are the ones you have been planning for and expecting. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is a big letting go for you, and you are letting go of the fears that have been keeping you away from showing up, expressing yourself as you wish to, and claiming the abundance that is meant to be yours.
You are proving to yourself that you deserve the good that’s in your life and on its way to you, and you are ready to let go of it, also feeling like you have to do it all on your own.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in your 6th house of health, work, and daily lifestyle, and you are seeing the benefits that come from putting your well-being first. This is a good time for feeling balanced in life and like what you have been putting out there, is coming back to you in positive ways. You are financially moving through a time of success this Eclipse Season overall, and gifts are coming in for you now, Scorpio. Believe in the impossible, and nourish your life from the inside out.
SAGITTARIUS
There is a lot to grasp this Eclipse Season, Sagittarius. You are being guided towards relaxing more and taking a step back to assess your situation and the path ahead of you. With the Lunar Eclipse on March 25 happening in your 11th house of community, hopes, dreams, and friendships, this is a good time to reach out to the people you feel seen and supported by. Know that when you are going through something heavy, sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help so that you don’t burn yourself out trying to solve something on your own that you don’t understand. This eclipse is all about letting go of what doesn’t serve you or your personal growth and gaining new wisdom, Sag.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, happening in fellow fire sign Aries, is another moment of needing some extra strength. Through the growth you have been through, you put yourself on a whole new playing field in life, but with what has also come, some more challenges you may not have been expecting. This Eclipse is asking you to confront where you may be feeling some guilt or shame in pursuing your passions or interests and how you can clear the way for yourself more here. Overall, this Eclipse Season is showing you how capable you truly are.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanCAPRICORN
You are moving through a time of massive breakthroughs, Capricorn. You are generally in good spirits during this Eclipse Season, as the growth you are experiencing now is a magical development for you. The Lunar Eclipse in Libra is one when you are trusting your intuition and letting go of some projects or goals that don’t align with the skills and interests you see in yourself now. Your professional world is being highlighted with this eclipse, and you could be changing jobs, letting go of an old dream, or overall rebuilding in this area of your life. This eclipse is asking you to trust yourself more and to check in on how you have been feeling about your progress and how you want to present yourself and show up in the world.
The eclipse happening on April 8 is a breath of fresh air for you and one when you are experiencing some happy outcomes and occurrences. You are overall feeling more stable and sure of yourself and where you are headed right now, and a lot of this growth is coming through for you in the home. Through the goals you were letting go of and the goals you were recreating for yourself, you find yourself in a new environment now, and there is something bright and fulfilling about where you are at the end of this Eclipse Season.
AQUARIUS
This Eclipse Season for you, Aquarius, is a time to gain clarity of the mind and of the heart. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling the synergy in your life during this time. This eclipse is highlighting your 9th house of adventure and perspective- and it’s a good time to gain some right now. You are overall letting your heart lead the way, and are finding yourself in exciting company and spaces. This eclipse is bringing in a fresh start for you in love and is also giving you clarity on where you have truly healed here.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in the sign of Aries on April 8, and this is a time when more rest, self-love, and self-care are needed. You need some time to truly relax your mind and give yourself the freedom to not think about anything heavy for the time being. You have recognized how important it is to be in a good headspace when you are moving through life and your experiences, and for you, oftentimes, that means getting some time away for yourself and healing within that alone time. Overall, this Eclipse Season is easing the mind and awakening the heart.
PISCES
This Eclipse Season is a big deal for your partnerships in life, Pisces. You are navigating the changes you are experiencing here, but also the breakthroughs you have been able to make happen for yourself here as well. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is turning things around for you for the better and you are moving through a time of development when it comes to your commitments and where you have been putting your dedication and energy. Life is coming full circle, and you are receiving the support and good fortune that you deserve, Pisces.
Let go of feeling like you have to prove yourself, and trust that you are exactly where you should be and that you have done the work.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, is another groundbreaking time for you, only this eclipse is more focused on your financial world and creating a safe environment for your income to grow. You could be receiving a raise, promotion, new job opportunity, or overall the clarity needed to create a better financial present and future for yourself. Everything is lining up for you this Eclipse Season, and it’s all about moving with change and trusting the divine timing of your life right now, Pisces.
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During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
Courtesy
So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
Courtesy
What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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Chile, that song is so brilliantly written that I once shouted it out in a podcast that I did with a dear friend of mine a few years back (you can check it out here if you want to): “I can't keep on loving you one foot outside the door/I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure/Can't keep on tryin' if you're looking for more/Than all that I could give you, than what you came here for.”
Won’t it preach? “Almost” when it comes to romantic dynamics? It’ll have you out here feeling like you’re in some straight-up purgatory because, when you’re not really sure where things stand with someone and/or things feel like a perpetual game of hot-and-cold, you never really know what you should do — and that can have you in a very uncomfortable mental limbo or feeling like you’re in some emotional version of the throwback game Twister.
Today, though, we’re going to discuss “almost doesn’t count” from a broader perspective. I want to explore what happens when you’re in ANY DYNAMIC where it feels like you’re in a state of almost — and what you should do about it if that is indeed the case.
I’ve added Brandy’s jam for you at the top of all of this. Feel free to play it as your background music as we finally figure out what to do with the “almost ish” that is (currently) in your life.
Almost. Revisited.
GiphyY’all, I am so sick of people allowing social media to redefine words.
For instance, just because something didn’t work out with a guy, that doesn’t automatically make him a narcissist (check out “You Could Be Turning Into A Narcissist...And You Don't Even Know It,” “What If It's Your Parents Who Happen To Be The Narcissists?” and “3 Warning Signs You're In Love With A Narcissist”) and just because someone doesn’t “gel” with you, that doesn’t mean that they are toxic (check out “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life” and “7 Signs You Have A Toxic Relationship...With Yourself”) — and while we’re here, just because you hear the same online opinion dozens of times a day, that doesn’t make it a fact. Google is our friend. Open up browsers to fact-check things. It’s a wise move and well worth your time.
Okay, so in order to build the foundation of this piece, let’s look at what almost means (even though I’m sure that you basically know):
Almost: very nearly; all but
Synonyms: approximately, essentially, most, relatively, practically, virtually, about
It is a very wise man who once said that “The worst lies are 99 percent true” — and that is what’s so wild about almost: It can be so close to being something that you will think that it is that thing…when it actually…isn’t. You can literally have close to 99 percent of everything that you needed, wanted or required and that missing one percent can still totally jack you up out here.
A good example? A condom. If you go to pretty much any health-related website, it will say something along the lines that — eh hem — when used perfectly, condoms are somewhere around 98 percent effective. And yet, while I do tend to roll my eyes whenever folks (in general) end up pregnant and shocked, all the while claiming to have used them (because I also know that only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms and even they don’t consistently), I am aware that there are some people who are being completely honest: they used them, each and every time, correctly, and still…a positive pregnancy test result. And that’s because condoms are ALMOST totally reliable. Not totally, though.
Or a white lie. Oh, those are the “best” and most damning ones because they have so much truth to them that the deceptive part is super subtle. Hmph. It makes me think of a rather young South Korean artist (in her 20s) by the name of Dahyun. She once said, “When you love someone, or when someone is special to you, there are situations where little white lies are necessary.” Yeah, that makes me think of a quote by an author named T.J. Klune; he once said, “I lied to you because I thought it’d be easier for you, but I was really just trying to make it easier for me” — and he’s exactly right.
One of the greatest lies anyone can tell is that they are lying to protect or help another individual. More times than not, it’s a form of cowardice, because people don’t want to deal with the accountability (or even possible fallout) from telling the truth. Proof of this is a white lie: enough truth to cleverly hide the deceptive or omitted part(s).
Yeah, that’s what can trip you up about being involved in things that are “almost” what you are looking for or expecting: they can be so close to being on the mark that you let your guard down to the point where they can actually end up catching you off guard in some pretty profound ways.
The Difference Between ALMOST and POTENTIAL
GiphyBefore we go even deeper, I do think that it’s important to explain the difference between almost and potential because, although they might seem like the same thing, they actually aren’t.
Say that you are working at a company where there is plenty of room for growth and promotion; that is potential. Potential is about possibility and capability. Sure, it may not have happened yet; however, you see plenty of signs that it really could. Okay, but after working there for two years and running circles around many of your co-workers with your performance, you keep getting passed over for other positions — and that is when almost comes into play.
What has you trying so hard is the POTENTIAL of what could be. What has you disappointed is things keep ALMOST happening — almost yet nothing more.
Let’s do relationships. Personally, I think it is hella arrogant and a bit delusional to say, “I don’t date for potential.” Umm, everyone out here is potential-in-progress, so are you saying that you want people to grant enough patience to allow you to keep evolving and transforming when you won’t extend the same grace their way? Gimme a break. There is nothing wrong with seeing someone’s potential and wanting to have a front seat in their life in order to encourage and support it. The issue comes in when they keep “almost” getting there without ever actually hitting their goals — and the reason why that’s problematic is…what is keeping you stuck at “almost”?
Example. Say that you’ve been exclusively dating someone for 15 months. You get along well, your family members and friends like you together and you seem to have similar life values and ambitions. Thing is, you want to get married within the year and he says that he wants to have a certain amount of money saved up before jumping the broom. The POTENTIAL of you becoming his wife is if you notice that he really is stacking paper. You ALMOST marrying him is when you factor in all of the other stuff that I said and yet his money is still funny (because he’s misspending, not saving or he’s simply not prioritizing like he said that he would).
Do you see the difference between what potential and almost look like and why “almost” can be so much more mentally draining and emotionally dangerous? “Almost” can — and oftentimes will — have you wasting precious time because it can deceive you with a feeling of “someday.” And that’s because things are so close to becoming a reality and yet, they never end up coming into full fruition.
And that, my friend, is why Brandy’s song is right on the money — at the end of the day, “almost doesn’t count” because, if you keep experiencing “most” or “practically” or “very nearly” of something or even someone and yet what is required for that something to actually become all of what you desire never manifests…what that ultimately boils down to is it — whatever “it” is — is really not much of anything at all.
It’s basically like what a playwright by the name of Nikita Gill once penned: “The saddest word in the whole wide world is the word 'almost'. He was almost in love. She was almost good for him. He almost stopped her. She almost waited. He almost lived. They almost made it.” It’s like…if it almost happened yet didn’t…why does the almost really even matter (much)?
At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, other than (hopefully) the lessons learned…it…doesn’t.
Someone Who “Almosts” You? That Is a Conscious Decision.
GiphyAnd here’s the wild thing about the person who “almosts” you — nine times out of 10, they know exactly what they are doing. The boss who almost promotes you and yet doesn’t…over and over again? You think they don’t have a self-serving strategy (or is it stratagem?) in that? The boyfriend who almost proposes (tells you that he wants to marry you while months to years later, he doesn’t do anything to prove that) and yet never does? You think he’s not aware of what’s going on? Oh, take it from me — the “almost folks” like being that way.
Why? I mean, think about it: If you are giving someone just enough for you to get what you need out of them without giving them all of what they want in the process, why not keep them in the cycle of “almost”? Let’s circle back to Brandy’s chorus to further illustrate the point:
I can't keep on loving you one foot outside the door
I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure
Can't keep on tryin' if you're looking for more
Than all that I could give you, than what you came here for
Look at what she was doing: she kept on trying while he kept on hesitating. And what this basically means is she was mistaking almost for potential. And you know what? He was letting her because he was benefitting from all of her trying and, although she was getting something in return (maybe even 99 percent of what she was looking for), his hesitation was causing her to see that something isn’t everything…and everything is what she deserved — and still, he chose not to do that.
HE CHOSE NOT TO DO THAT. He chose to remain in the relational purgatory of “almost” because he didn’t want to be “all in.” He was right where he wanted to be and if that kept her uncomfortable…so be it.
See how ugly, self-serving and manipulative “almost” can be?
Do you see why we need to stop romanticizing it because it really shouldn’t count?
What Should the Shelf Life of Almost Be?
GiphySo, final question with this: When it comes to the “almost” areas of your life, how long should you allow them to last? Honestly, I think the answer to that lies in the definitions of the word “almost.” You see, the reason why most of us even notice that we have an “almost situation” going on is because there is a need (sometimes a want) that is going unmet to the point where we aren’t satisfied. And since one definition of almost is “all but” — what is the ALL and then what is the BUT?
Once you figure that out, it’s time to address the “but” part with the individual who isn’t providing it — and honestly, not just their response (words) but their reaction (actions) will let you know what the shelf life of the almost needs to be.
Case in point: When it comes to some of the couples who I work with, sometimes one of the partners goes through a significant change and they want their spouse to quickly adapt to that fact. Usually, the change within wasn’t instantaneous, and so, I share that it’s unfair to expect that to happen immediately; usually, a fair amount of time should be allotted. The relationship is ALL good in every area BUT where the evolution is transpiring. If the spouse’s response is, “Give me a minute to get used to this new you,” the partner should. The spouse is almost where they can accept matters. They just need a bit more time for the almost to turn into “I’m good now.”
However…say that you have a friend who you like and enjoy just about everything about them. The challenge is the fact that they want you to be on-call for their issues and gripes and yet, whenever you need them to do the same thing for you, they are more unavailable than not. Not only that but, whenever you bring it up, although they acknowledge your point, time and time again, nothing ever changes; you still pick up their calls at 11 p.m. while you are still leaving voicemails when you reach out their way. If that is indeed the case, that makes me think of an Instagram post that I recently watched that is underneath this last point. In it, the content creator says, “It’s so important to know where people go. Your feelings will be less hurt.”
And along these same lines, it’s important to know an “almost” when you see it. Isn’t it interesting that one definition of almost is “all but” and to that, I think most of us have heard that whenever you use “but” in a sentence, it negates pretty much everything that you said before it. Chile, if someone is doing all BUT and the BUT is a really big deal to you…does the “all” really “scratch your itches” like you need them to? And again, if they are refusing the “but” (and the “but” is realistic, by the way), isn’t that saying a lot about how they see you and y’all’s dynamic? I would certainly think so.
So, how long should the shelf life of an almost be? Long enough to articulate your needs, for the person to hear them, and then make adjustments. If no adjustments are made…almost is probably where things are going to remain — what you choose to do about that is on YOU not THEM. How long you take speaks to how much you value…yourself.
All this from the word “almost”? Yep. You can thank Brandy for that. LOL.
You deserve to get and have what you need. If you’re almost getting it, remember what Brandy said: When it’s all said and done, sis…almost doesn’t count.
A white lie will tell you it does.
The truth has just revealed — otherwise.
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