How Getting Laid Off Was The Best Thing To Happen To Me And My Career
It was the day after New Years 2012 and most businesses were still on holiday break. I went into my consulting firm's downtown office that day. The project I was consulting on had just gotten cut, so I was working on a side project to help my firm out as I waited to get staffed on my next project.
I had only been in the office for maybe an hour when one of the partners called me into his office. I thought he called me in to talk about the side project I was working on, but not even one minute after sitting in the chair in front of his desk, I found out why I was really there.
He told me I was being laid off–effective immediately. No warning, no time buffer, no nothing. My time with the firm was up after only 13 months of being with them.
I immediately burst into uncontrollable tears. The panic. The blind-sided punch to the gut. I couldn't keep it in. Tears streamed down my face as he proceeded to run through their offer of only one month's pay.
I was one of two to get laid off that day. I remember gathering my things, trying not to sob on my way out of the office as everyone stared at me on my way out. As soon as I got into my car, the flood gates opened and I started sobbing again.
What in the hell was I going to do? How was I going to pay my bills? How was I going to survive?
I had to find a job fast.
I had to find a job now.
I had to find a job five minutes ago.
I was beyond devastated.
The first thing I did was call my dog walker to tell her not to come that day because I had just gotten laid off. I was worried about the $15 it would cost me if I didn't catch her before she walked my dog for the day. Because every penny now counted.
I drove home, changed out of the unflattering work clothes I hated so much, and got to work on saving myself.
I've always been a survivor, a woman who has taken care of herself, honored herself, and waited for no one and no thing to come rescue me. This time would be no different.
First, I re-did my budget, cut out every possible expense I could, and figured I had three months savings to get me by. I filed for unemployment, too. Thank God I qualified for it, even though it was a measly $550.00 a month (only a tenth of my salary at the firm).
I even got a part-time job at a day care where I earned a few hundred dollars a month to help pay my bills and to keep my mind occupied.
And every day, I searched the job sites, on the hunt for the next right thing for me.
The morning of the lay off was the only time I cried over the whole situation. I was actually relieved to have gotten laid off. Because, to be honest, I hated working at that firm. And I realized getting laid off was actually an opportunity. It was a shove from the universe to move on to the next job that would be more fulfilling, more in alignment with who I am and what I wanted out of my career.
At the firm, I felt so much pressure to be someone I wasn't, to perform at a level I just wasn't interested in. I didn't feel like I could be myself there. I worked 50+ hours a week and did b*tch work. I wasn't fulfilled in any way at that job.
Classified page 5 newspaper selective focus photography Photo by AbsolutVision on Unsplash
I spent the next six weeks sleeping in, playing with a bunch of two and three year olds at the day care, cooking (since I didn't want to eat out and spend extra money), relaxing, rejuvenating, and applying for jobs.
But because this was my opportunity to find a job that I actually wanted to be at, I listened to my heart when applying. If a job description felt like more b.s., I wouldn't apply to it. I practiced listening to my heart, instead of the "right" or "logical" thing to do when it came to my career. "Right" and "logical" do serve their place in my career... but so does my heart.
After a month of a hellish job hunt, I had applied to quite a few jobs and had only two phone interviews. The panic started to run ramped again. I felt like I wasn't make any progress. But each time it did, I reminded myself to step out on faith. This was my opportunity to have a job I liked. Things were going to work out for me. Because I said so.
Only six weeks of the unemployment game, a few measly unemployment and day care checks, relaxing lazy winter days, and countless bowls of cereal for dinner later, I started a new consulting job.
A former coworker and friend knew of a big project and she kindly put me in contact with the project's program manager. They liked my resume, and because our mutual colleague vouched for me, that was enough for him to schedule two super easy phone interviews. Of course I aced the interviews. And the gig was mine.
But this time I was the boss. I had an LLC and was officially a business owner. And I was making double my old income at six figures. I went from not much to everything in six weeks.
To work on this project, I would have to consult as a contractor, not an employee. Being a contractor would require me to have an LLC, business insurance, to pay my own taxes, and they would pay me a whole lot more money than I had ever made.
I had no idea how to set up an LLC, or get business insurance, or how to file my own taxes. But within a matter of days, a few phone calls to friends who had LLCs, and lots of googling, everything was set up. And I officially owned my own business.
What's so amazing is I had always wanted to own my own business. But I had no idea how I would even make that happen. I also had a goal to make six figures before the age of 30. And also had no idea how I would make that happen. But I did, by age 28.
I attribute my success to a magical combination of timing, circumstances, a whole lot of faith, knowing, and surrendering.
I've noticed that most of the world is out there thinking if they just work harder, if they just push themselves to do more, to be more, that they will reach their goals. I never understood that way of thinking.
While there's something to be said for putting in the right work, why put in so much work that you burn yourself out? Why sacrifice parts of your life? Why make yourself miserable doing something you don't want to do to get to somewhere you want to be? That kind of thinking just never appealed to me.
For me, it all came down to choosing something different for my life and my career when the opportunity came my way when I got unexpectedly laid off. I didn't resist the reality. I rolled with it and chose to see the possibilities.
Not only did my dreams become my reality because I got laid off, what was equally, and maybe even more profound for me, was how I handled the situation. I never thought I, the typical type A perfectionist control freak, could be so cool, calm, and grounded in dealing with such a hard thing as a layoff. I surprised myself, big time.
After being laid off and coming through shinning so brightly on the other side, I knew I could do anything.
Featured image by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty