

Semi-recently someone who I also semi-recently met said that they went to kinda-sorta stalking me online. After doing so, one of the things that they asked me was, “How do you continually find so many sex-related topics to write about after all this time?” I don’t really have a straight answer for that other than I think sex is amazing and, when approached in a responsible light, highly beneficial…in a way that goes way beyond the physical. Plus, when I’m brainstorming content, I like to think of what I would like to read — especially if I don’t really see certain topics addressed a certain way anywhere else.
And while it would be ridiculous of me to say that there are no good skin-prep pieces out in cyberspace (of course, there are!), if there’s one thing that I think should get tackled, a bit more specifically, are things that you can do, strictly for your skin, that will make your sex experience even better than (hopefully) it already is.
So here it is, y’all. Before the next time you plan on blessing your man with all of the goodness you have to offer, here are 12 things that you can do to make him feel like he’s literally melting into you — in more ways than one, chile.
1. DIY a Body Scrub
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You would think that at the big age that I am, breakouts would be a thing of the past (le sigh). Unfortunately, a sistah still ends up with a right-on-schedule period pimple on my face once a month (UGH!) and a couple of zits on my back from time to time. It’s all annoying because, no matter what, once they go down, they leave some type of discoloration…and that’s why I try to be proactive with my skincare routine; it’s so I (hopefully) won’t have to deal with that kind of bullshishery at all.
Off top, I exfoliate. The main reason is that we actually shed thousands of dead skin cells every minute, and if they aren’t removed, they can start to clog up our pores, and that leads to inflammation and, yep — oftentimes, breakouts. Since two other benefits that come with skin exfoliation are an even complexion and softer skin, definitely make this a part of our skincare regimen, especially on sex night (or day).
There are body scrubs that you can easily find in stores or online. Yet if you’re like me and you want to minimize the number of chemicals that you can’t even pronounce from getting into your skin, you can always DIY a body scrub. Three tablespoons of brown sugar (it’s a humectant which means it pulls moisture from the air into your skin) along with three tablespoons of olive oil (it’s loaded with antioxidants to keep your skin young and healthy) is a really simple scrub. Marie Claire also has several recipes that you can check out here.
2. DIY a Bronzer Too
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I haven’t worn foundation in years. However, when I do want my skin to look like it’s absolutely glowing and/or I want to camouflage one of those period pimple marks that I just mentioned, I’ll reach for some bronzer and it does the trick, brilliantly so.
That said, here’s a bronzer hack: apply some of it to your face, neck, and chest, and then light some scented soy candles (soy burns cleaner) in your bedroom. It will cause your skin to appear absolutely radiant which will make you look all that more beautiful. My two cents would be to go the DIY route. iHerb has a recipe that I can personally vouch for and it’s right here.
3. Soak Your Hands in Egg Yolks
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When you know that you’re about to be in for a really good night, if there are two things that you’ll be using in excess, it’s your hands…right? So, if you want to make sure that they are uber soft, soak them in a homemade egg yolk solution (especially after exfoliating them with the body scrub that I already mentioned).
Egg yolks are bomb because they’re chocked full of literal moisture, protein, fats, and emulsifiers (which basically means a milky moisturizer as far as your skin goes). Egg yolks also contain ceramides and peptides to keep your skin healthy and wrinkle-free, and they are a multivitamin considering the fact that they are full of vitamins B1, B12, A, E, D and K, zinc, and choline (for starters). The organic pigment lutein that’s in them works overtime to make your skin feel more supple, too, so of course, this would be a great all-natural approach to cultivating super soft hands.
Honestly, one of the best egg yolk soaks/masks (in my opinion) consists of mixing two yolks with a tablespoon of honey, a tablespoon of virgin olive oil, and a teaspoon of baking soda. After washing your hands, cover them in the mixture and let the mixture sit for 20 minutes. Then rinse thoroughly with warm followed by cool water (to close up your pores) and apply your favorite carrier oil. Your hands will have never felt so good.
4. Then Soak the Heels of Your Feet in Mouthwash
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While I was in a counseling session once, a husband said something that I thought was hilarious: “Don’t get me wrong, sex with my wife is amazing. I just hate to lift her legs up because…her feet.” When I asked him if they smelled or something, he said that he had been trying to find a way to tell her that her heels kept scratching his arms and chest. Whew, chile.
I told them what I’m about to tell you — soak those bad boys in some mouthwash. Not just any kind, though, Listerine. The reason why is that it contains pretty potent antibacterial, antioxidant, and antifungal properties that can help to not only get rid of any fungus your feet may have, it can also remove the hardened dead skin that’s on your heels as well so that your feet feel good on, whatever you rub them up against. You can read more about why this is a smart route to take by checking out Verywell Health’s article on the issue here.
5. Exfoliate Your Lips
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Even though things like extreme weather temperatures, dry air, and dehydration can all play a role in having chapped lips, another underestimated culprit is saliva. Yep, the enzymes that are in it can also cause your lips to feel hard and/or the skin on them to feather, which can make kissing…not as sensual.
The way to work around this is to exfoliate your lips. You can do that by making your own lip scrub. Those are great at removing dead skin cells and making your lips feel extra soft and smooth. One of my favorite things about lip scrubs is they are easy to make from the comfort and convenience of my own home. Stylecraze did us all a solid by providing almost 20 recipes right here.
6. “Seal Your Skin” After Bathing
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I can’t tell you the last time I applied lotion to my skin. Instead, what I do is make sure to “seal” my skin by applying some type of oil like sweet almond, avocado, or grapeseed (for example) onto my body before drying off. The key is to let the oil penetrate your skin for a couple of minutes and then gently dab the water off with a microfiber towel. Not only is the oil better for your skin, but the sealing process also keeps your skin moisturized for much longer too.
7. Combine an Aphrodisiac Essential Oil with a Carrier Oil
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When it comes to sealing your skin, if you want to be “doubly protected,” something that you can try is combining an essential oil with a carrier oil. My two cents are to do this right after sealing your skin and drying off; that way, your skin is not only extra smooth, it has a really seductive scent to it as well.
If you’re wondering which oils will get your partner’s libido going, I’ve got you covered on that. First check out, “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last” and then click on “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level.'” Thank me later.
8. Use Shea Butter on Your Nipples
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As a doula, something that I recommend new moms do (especially if they are breastfeeding) is to apply some shea butter to their nipples. The combination of vitamins A, E, and F, along with its high amount of fatty acids, makes shea butter a top-notch skin soother.
And since some of us see our breasts as a peak erogenous zone, I’m sure you can see why “coating your breasts” with a layer of shea butter could prove to be beneficial when it comes to bedroom action too, especially if your nipples are prone to cracking or feeling a little irritated once saliva gets onto them. Thanks to the anti-inflammatory properties that are also in shea butter, it’s a moisturizer that has you covered all the way around.
9. Apply Sweet Almond Oil to Your Vulva
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I have been a personal fan of sweet almond oil for years now. When it comes to my skin specifically, the vitamin E that’s in it makes it an awesome moisturizer. I also like the fact that it softens my skin without being greasy and that it gives it a natural glow. That said, when it comes to making all of your skin feel amazing, don’t forget to moisturize your vulva (the outer part of your vagina). By applying some of this oil to your pubic mound and vaginal lips, not only will your skin feel great, it will help to soften your pubic hair so that it feels more comfortable to the touch too — all without containing any ingredients that could possibly irritate your skin in the process (or later on).
10. Put a Humidifier in Your Bedroom
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Why should everyone have a humidifier in their bedroom? Chile, let me count the ways. It reduces the chances of you catching a cold or the flu. It soothes asthma-related symptoms. It decreases the allergens in the air. It also helps to get rid of (and possibly prevent) headaches. And as far as this topic is concerned, it’s fabulous at helping your skin to retain moisture.
Know what else? After all, is — eh hem — said and done, a humidifier is also a must-have because it can make snoring less of an issue as well. The method to the madness is, the less dry air that’s in your bedroom, the less congested your nasal passages will be and the less irritated your throat will be too. This means that you can have hours of great sex followed by hours of sound sleep to boot. Perfection.
11. Buy Some Bamboo Bedding
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If you don’t own at least one set of bamboo sheets, I definitely think you should get some just as soon as you possibly can. I have some myself, and one of my favorite things about them is how soft they feel. Some other perks include the fact that they’re eco-friendly, odor-repelling, and they last for a long time (replacing them every 18 months is a good idea). As far as your skin (and your sex life) goes, since they are also hypoallergenic and temper-regulating, you don’t have to worry about bamboo sheets irritating your skin or trapping in moisture as you’re rolling around in them — whether it’s with someone or when you’re sleeping alone.
12. Invest in Some Honey Dust
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And now for the grand finale. Whenever it comes to tips that I learn along the way, I try to give credit where credit is due. Who actually put me on to this recommendation is Valerie Malone (played by Tiffani Amber Thiessen). If you don’t know who that is, she was a sexy and conniving white girl in the original Beverly Hills, 90210. Anyway, while one of her guys was kissing her, he asked what he was tasting, and she said honey dust. I checked it out and have been a fan ever since! Not only will your skin taste absolutely delightful, but it can also make oral sex more pleasant (both on the giving as well as the receiving end).
Plus, it’s got some practical benefits too. Honey dust can remove wet spots out of your sheets, reduce the chances of you experiencing yeast infections underneath your breasts (because it can keep your skin dry up under there and, if you both apply it before things go down, it can keep your skin from sticking together (if that’s something that low-key irks you).
A fan-favorite brand is Kama Sutra Honey Dust Kissable Moisture-Wicking Body Powder. It even comes with a feather duster to apply it with. Yeah, don’t say a sistah didn’t look out for your skin and your sex life because, thanks to these hacks, I most certainly did! Enjoy. #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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