August is impactful. This is a month where it’s all or nothing, and a lot is changing and coming to fruition right now. Focus on the energy you are giving out and the energy you are receiving, and work with the divine alchemy in your life to manifest. Powerful things can happen to you this month, and this is the time to set your intentions for them. The month begins in Leo Season and with Venus making its retrograde transit through this bright fire sign. Under this influence, love is a big factor in the changes that are occurring right now, and new energy is being created here. August, overall, is an important time of the year when a new page is being turned.
August 2023 Horoscopes
On the first day of the month, there is a Supermoon in Aquarius. This is the Sturgeon Moon of 2023, and this time is all about connection. Emotionally rejuvenate, let go of separation, and allow yourself to connect deeper to others and the world on another level. Focus on what brings YOU closer to others and your dreams rather than apart from them. On August 16th, there is a New Moon in Leo, and this New Moon is bringing in some happiness, some creativity, and a whole lot of love. This New Moon is all about having confidence in yourself and showing up. Don’t count yourself out right now, and be a little more courageous with your dreams and with how you can express yourself.
Virgo Season begins on August 23rd, and in true Virgo fashion, we are forced with some hard truths on the same day, as Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo as well. Virgo Season altogether is an opportunity to straighten things out, organize the details, and connect to your higher self. Virgo doesn’t put up with what doesn’t feel right, and Virgo Season is often a time when people are cleaning house. With Mercury retrograde in this earth sign in the midst of it all until September 15th, there could be a sense of feeling more pressure to have it all together.
Remember, it’s about progress and not perfection right now, and sometimes just the clarity needs to be enough until you can do more.
On August 27th, Mars enters Libra, and new connections are being built. With the Sun in Virgo and Mars in Libra, two very selfless signs, there is a lot of love and support flowing through the world. Mars in Libra is a reminder to have balance in life and love and to prioritize what and who is important to you. Uranus goes retrograde in Taurus this month from the 28th until January 27, 2024, and Uranus retrograde brings the shock factor. This rebel planet makes changes in the spur of the moment, and in Taurus, a lot of these surprises come to be financial. Uranus in Taurus isn’t afraid to take risks, but Uranus retrograde in Taurus is a reminder to be careful with financial impulses and to make sure you will still have stability through any unexpected changes that may arise.
What’s interesting about August 2023 is that two Full Moons are happening this month. The second one is a Full Moon in Pisces, on August 30th. This Full Moon is the Blue Moon of 2023 and is another Supermoon. With all of this powerful energy moving through the cosmos this month, at the end of August, some major closures are presenting themselves, ones that provide more space emotionally to receive greater blessings. The Blue Moon is about trusting the guidance of your soul.
As the month comes to an end, August is a great month to look back on when it comes to when things started making sense and when things changed for the better.
August 2023 Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about getting out of your comfort zone, Aries. You have been through a time of rejuvenation and contemplation and may have even been secluding yourself from others altogether. In August, you are ready to spread your wings and fly. With a Full Moon happening in your friendship sector on August 1st, right as the month begins, it’s time to close that chapter of your life of feeling like you had to do it all on your own and open up to the community and support around you.
There is a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Leo, on the 16th, and this New Moon will be highlighting the happy areas of your life. Write a list of gratitude and set your intentions for passion projects you want to see through over the next month, and also what new beginnings you are looking for in love right now. Before the month ends, Mars enters your 7th house of partnership, and you are motivated to connect. The main theme for you this month is working together with others.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are free, Taurus. August is reminding you of this truth. This month is about releasing yourself from the restrictions you have been feeling in your life and healing the mind. Overthinking has been making things stagnant in your life, and you are ready to break free from this energy this month. The Full Moon at the beginning of the month on the 1st will help your confidence renew and will be reminding you of the accomplishments you have already made.
On August 23rd, Mercury goes retrograde in fellow earth sign Virgo and will be retrograde in your 5th house of romance, hobbies, passion, creativity, and happiness. Over the next few weeks, you are on a journey of finding your happiness in a new way and connecting to the heart space. The old ways of relating and connecting to your passions may not be resonating right now, and this is your opportunity to redefine what lights you up and then move more toward that energy.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is about moving on, Gemini. You have been through a lot emotionally, and you are ready to let this heaviness go. The month begins with a Full Moon in your 9th house of adventure, and right as you enter the month, you have your eyes set on the horizon. You are feeling inspired, but it’s okay to take things at the pace you are comfortable with right now, as it’s been a difficult start. Remind yourself this month, deep breaths in, deep breaths out.
Mid-month, there is a New Moon in Leo that will be moving through your 3rd house of communication. Expect some important conversations to be had this month and the revelations to be plentiful. Mid-August is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to move through the world, express yourself, and who you want to connect with. Before August comes to a close, your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde, and over the next few weeks, you will be going over some things when it comes to your home life, family, and foundations.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of making things happen for yourself, Cancer. You have your eyes set on the path ahead, and you have a lot of energy with you in August. With the Sun in your 2nd house of income, investments, and value systems right now, you are making important plans and are working on your long-term goals. This is the month to be fearless, powerful, and be you, Cancer.
On August 16th, a New Moon is happening in the same area the Sun and Venus retrograde currently are in your chart. You are using your time and energy wisely as you have been realizing, now more than ever, how valuable they are. Focus on new beginnings financially, set your intentions for abundance, and pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. Mercury goes retrograde in your 3rd house of communication a week later, and you could be feeling more misunderstood over the next few weeks. This is happening for you to gain more clarity on who you are and to have the confidence to express that more freely.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a powerful month for you, Leo. You are walking into the month with Leo Season in full swing and so much to learn. The culminations and insights you have been looking for are coming through for you, but they may not be as glamorous as expected. Take your time with what is being revealed to you, as it will all make sense the further you go into the month. On August 1st, the Full Moon in your 7th house of love will be inspiring you to build deeper connections and to cross that bridge.
The New Moon happening this month will be in your sign on the 16th. This New Moon is all about you, and the Moon is shining its healing power on your lioness self. This New Moon, you are seeing things differently, including yourself, and are focused on bringing more love into your life. On August 23rd, Leo Season comes to a close, and Mercury goes retrograde. This Mercury retrograde for you is a time to plan wisely, handle your finances, and go over the details thoroughly. Mercury will be retrograde in a financial zone of your chart, and these matters should be examined during this time.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou can do this, Virgo. August is about creating breakthroughs in your life, and you are doing so. You are overcoming the roadblocks that have been placed in front of you and are claiming your blessings right now. Mars is in your sign for most of this month, and you are passionate about your personal progress. A lot is happening for you in August, as this is when Virgo Season begins, and you are stepping up to the plate and telling the universe that you are ready.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your 12th house of closure, and this is when you are really starting to see the past behind you and the new even closer than before. You have healed, you have learned, and you are ready to be free. On August 23rd, Virgo Season begins, and it’s your time to shine. This Virgo Season will be a little different, though, as Mercury will go retrograde in Virgo on the same day. Mercury retrograde for you will be about getting to know yourself better, and self-love is the priority right now.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecolePerspective is everything in August, Libra. There is a lot of emotional energy you are moving through this month, and as a more mental sign, this can feel like a lot for you. If you can focus more on the gifts in your world rather than what feels like it’s falling apart, you can rebuild more than what you feel has been lost. The Full Moon happening on August 1st will be in a fellow air sign, and you will be given an opportunity to flow with more synergy, let go of past hurts, and honor your happiness.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your house of friendships, and you are feeling more connected, loved, and in tune with your people mid-month. You are turning the page on disappointment and are ready to capture more of the joy others are bringing into your life right now. Before the month ends, Mars enters your sign on the 27th, and with Mars in your sign, you will have the passion, vigor, and energy to see things through that you once felt were weighing you down. A shift of power is happening for you this month, and it’s allowing you more freedom to be, to love, and to be happy most of all.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is an enlightening month for you, Scorpio. You are reaching new heights, inspiring others, and your spirit is moving through a renewal. There are a lot of exciting moments happening for you this month, and one good thing is leading into another. The Full Moon happening on August 1st will allow you to close a chapter when it comes to finding your ground, growing new roots, and emotionally regulating. You are walking into the month with less emotional baggage and more creative freedom.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on the 23rd and will be retrograde in an area of your chart having to do with your aspirations, dreams, friendships, and community. You could be feeling like your dreams are being put on the back burner for the time being or like you have to rethink some of them. Once Mercury goes direct, you will have a better idea of what you want and how to get there. Uranus goes retrograde this month as well and in your partnership sector, so it’s best to flow with change when it comes to others rather than fight it. You are discovering new truths in August.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are feeling things through this month, Sagittarius. August is an emotional time for you, and one where you are feeling more nostalgic than usual but also feeling more excited than what’s been as well. You are someone who typically focuses on either the future or the present, but right now, you are honoring the past you have been through to be here. On the first day of this month, there is a Full Moon, and this Full Moon will give you that clarity and divine insight you have been looking for.
The New Moon on the 16th is happening in fellow fire sign Leo, and this is the time of the month when you are feeling more adventurous and spontaneous. This is a good time to travel or set your intentions for travel plans as you discover some new inspirations right now. The second Full Moon of the month is on August 30th, and this Full Moon will allow you to find stability within what you were communicating at the beginning of the month and the declarations you have been making altogether.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe world is yours, Capricorn. New opportunities are coming into your life, and you are feeling more inspired than ever. This is an exciting time for you and one when you are unfolding the magic in your life. As you move into the month, ask yourself, “How good could it really get for me right now?” The New Moon happening on the 16th is a door opening into the divine, spiritual, and emotionally transforming experiences that can lead you to your manifestations.
On August 23rd, Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo and does so in your 9th house of travel, adventure, education, and the higher mind. Take this time to develop your mind, learn something new, connect with different types of people, and think about the big picture. If you plan on traveling over the next few weeks, look things over thoroughly, and most importantly, have patience. There is a Full Moon happening on the 30th before the month ends, and this will bring things into perspective before moving forward again.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe seeds you have been planting are showing fruition, Aquarius. You have had to have a lot of patience with what you are bringing to life right now, and this month is a reminder that it was all worth it. The month starts with a Full Moon in your sign, and you are emotionally feeling like a different person than you were a year ago. You are wrapping up a major cycle in your life this month and are preparing for a rebirth. August is giving you many gifts, clarity on thy self, the most important one.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your sister sign, Leo, and this New Moon is opening up new doors for you in love. Set your intentions for your relationships during this New Moon, and make love the focus right now. Mars moves into Libra before the month ends and enters your house of adventure. This month has been a lot about patience and perseverance, and when Mars makes this transit on the 28th, you feel creative, inspired, and courageous.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a game of balance, Pisces. There are things you are letting go of, and new beginnings you are walking into as well. There is so much to see, so many places to be, and love to be felt, and you are doing it all this month. On August 1st, the Full Moon will be allowing you to let go of what’s been keeping you away from you, and you are honoring what you have learned in the process. You are walking into this month ready for whatever comes your way.
Mercury goes retrograde in your opposite sign, Virgo, on the 23rd, and this retrograde will be about love. You are learning more about yourself through your relationships with others and may be going through some growth spurts in love. Open communication will heal, and the bonds that are meant for you will only strengthen at the end of this transit. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in your sign, and you are walking away from what no longer serves you. You have learned a lot about yourself, and nothing is stopping you from being the person you want to be.
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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