Kehlani Reveals The Secret To Healthy Co-Parenting With An Ex
Talented singer and songwriter Kehlani recently appeared on The Breakfast Clubwhere she discussed spiritual healing, new music, and more. But, the highlight of the conversation was definitely her updates on Mom life. She looked to be in a genuinely happy place, and it seems like her daughter is a large part of the reason for that. Which makes perfect sense, considering real fans know she has always been about the Mom life.
Three years ago Kehlani surprised everyone when she announced her pregnancy in a viral Instagram post. The since-deleted caption read:
"If you know me, you know I've dreamt about motherhood since I was very young. When asked what my goals are, it's always the idea of a big healthy happy family and whatever comes along is a plus."
Kehlani's relationship with her own family is complicated. When she was born, both of her parents were addicted to drugs. And by the time she turned one, her father had been murdered and her mother was incarcerated. Fortunately, she was later adopted by her aunt. And although this was a major blessing, life was still far from easy. However, I'd like to think that all of these things may have contributed to her desire for a happy and healthy co-parenting reality.
In 2018, Kehlani revealed her then relationship with co-parent guitarist, Javaughn Young-White via Nicki Minaj's Queen Radio show. In the interview, she shared many personal details such as the fact that the pregnancy was planned, that the couple started as friends, and that they were both bisexual. She said:
"We just really appreciate each other as human beings, and it's been really awesome to be understood."
The conversation sparked a great deal of dialogue surrounding sexuality and parenting.
Fast forward to today and they are still on the same page! Although they are no longer an item, they still have the same goal, creating the best life for their child, daughter Adeya Nomi. She tells The Breakfast Club:
"Her dad's awesome and he's super fluid when it comes to my career. So he's like, 'You want me to come with her and just we all hang out? And we'll go back and forth?' We just have a great system and we're a great co-parenting team. We'll take it as it comes."
And when Charlamagne questioned the rarity of such a positive co-parenting situation versus baby-mama drama, her response was a whole gem.
"I mean, I can't exactly apply it necessarily to my situation but I think people have a bad habit of viewing each other as 'exes' instead of viewing each other as 'co-parents.' And then they like, they apply 'ex drama' and 'ex attention' and 'ex...chaos' when really at the moment you guys become parents, you guys need to view each other as literally whoever this baby's parents [are]. That's it. All that 'ex' thing needs to go out the window."
By taking away "the dreaded ex" component, it's just all about family, and for Kehlani that removes a lot of the potential nonsense.
"You're 'Team Baby' and if you guys aren't functioning as the proper team, then the only one that really comes down on hard -- super hard -- is the baby."
You can check out Kehlani's latest single, Alter, here.
Kehlani Talks Spiritual Healing, Co-Parenting, New Music + More
Featured image by Gotham/WireImage via Getty Images
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy