When you're a writer, you learn to avoid living for the comments. The main reason why is because you don't want to get cocky off of praise or beat down by criticism (which is a huge part of the reason why I don't do social media). That doesn't mean there aren't times when I don't tiptoe on in because, well, I am human and humans are curious creatures. Anyway, back when I wrote the article, "7 Signs You're Spiritually Compatible With Someone", a comment that truly moved me was a woman who basically said that she was hesitant to read it at first because she thought that it was gonna be super religious; however, she was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't. Because of that, she could receive what was being said.
Unfortunately, a lot of us think that being spiritual is the same thing as being religious when that's not quite the case. While it is possible to be both (check out "What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?"), when I speak of being spiritual, I'm coming from the angle of how our spirit is our internal life source. I also appreciate a literal definition of the word—"to encourage; urge on or stir up, as to action".
That's the mindset I'd like you to be in as we tackle this topic. A principle is a fundamental rule or personal basis of conduct. So, when I speak spiritual principles of sex within marriage, I'm talking about the rules and conduct that sex brings in order to stir up (sexual) action in order to bring life—growth, soul, energy, enthusiasm and vigor—into that type of union. Here are the seven that I think are paramount in any marital relationship.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #1: Both People Should Have a Healthy View of Sex
If you're a single person who is looking in on this, I can't stress how important this is. As someone who grew up in the Church and then became cool with a lot of Christian marriage counselors as an adult, I know for a fact that the Church, overall, does a pretty horrific job when it comes to addressing the topic of sex overall, let alone someone's sexual history and personal perspectives on sex prior to getting married. Yet knowing what someone's experiences and feelings are about it is so critical. What were they taught about sex? If they weren't a virgin going into marriage (because yes, wedding night virgins do still exist), what was their first experience like? Was there any sexual trauma that they had to endure and, if so, did they get any therapy for it? What are their expectations for sex? What do they think the purpose of sex is? Have they even stopped to consider that sex is a spiritual act and not just a physical one? These are just some of the questions and concerns that are extremely valid and relevant.
And what if you're already married and you never really discussed these things with your spouse before? There is no time like the present because, the reality is, it's really difficult to have a thriving sex life if you don't have a healthy view of sex and you're not approaching it with your partner in a holistically beneficial kind of way. It takes a lot of self-introspection and emotional maturity to get that good sex isn't just about having a physical level of compatibility; it's also making sure that you're mentally and emotionally sound too. Mutually understanding each other's understanding of sex is so important. Have that discussion as soon as possible, if you haven't already.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #2: Sex Transcends the Physical
On the heels of what I just said, I have shared, more than once, that one of my favorite Scriptures on sex is the Message Version of I Corinthians 6:16-20. It starts off by saying, "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.'" Pay special attention to the part that is bold and underlined. Sex isn't just a physical fact because there are spiritual mysteries that transpire when it happens as well. A mystery? A mystery is a secret. You know what else a mystery is? It's a divine revelation. Something that's divine is sacred.
This is a huge part of the reason why I think the term "casual sex" is such an oxymoron. Whether people choose to acknowledge it or not, because sex isn't just about body parts clacking away, there is more to it than the physical pleasure that it brings. You're sacred and so is your partner. This reason alone is why, oftentimes, there are profound insights that transpire during the act itself.
This is also why I constantly encourage married couples to be intentional about cultivating a healthy sexual relationship with one another. The reality is when you're single and sexually active and you take that mentality into your marital union, it can make you a very selfish lover (more on that in a second). It can also cause you to overlook all of the ways that sex helps to strengthen your bond with your partner on levels that truly transcend the physical. So yeah, if you want to maintain a powerful emotional connection with your partner, seeing sex through spiritual eyes is paramount.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #3: Sex Isn’t Just About You
Remember how I said that "single sex" can make people selfish? To be selfish is to be self-consumed and when you're single—which to me means until your tax relational status switches over from "single" to "married"—selfish is what a lot of us are on the sexual tip. While we enjoy the act of sex with someone else, we're not consistently focused on our partner's holistic sexual needs as much as our own. Yet when we're married, a part of what that means is we made the conscious effort to exchange the "me" for "we". This means that our spouse's wants and needs matter just as much as our own. And what that means is we can't have the "single mentality" and make everything about sex be solely about our own views and desires.
Actually, that's one of the most beautiful things about married sex and honestly, marriage, in general. If people are approaching this kind of relationship from a mature standpoint, they are using the union to teach them how to be less selfish. How to learn to truly care about someone else, not just when they "feel like it" but all of the time. How to seek out what their partner needs, both in and out of the bedroom, and how to make a daily decision to acknowledge their spouse's needs until death parts them.
One of the biggest spiritual principles surrounding sex is it's to show you how to stop being so into yourself as your partner learns to do the same. How are you and yours doing in this area right about now? The answer to this one question can reveal a lot about where you are spiritually when it comes to your sexual relationship.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #4: Sex Should Be Creative
If I may, let me circle on back to the Bible, just one more time. The Message Version of Galatians 6:1&5 tells us, "Live creatively, friends…Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." The operative word in there?
Creative. To be spiritual is to be creative. To be creative is to be spiritual. And since sex is a spiritual act, I'm pretty sure you can see where I'm going with all of this, right? A creative person does original things. A creative person is imaginative. A creative person is a visionary who comes up with inventive, clever and stimulating ideas.
I can't tell you how many couples have sat across from me (usually after about seven years into their marriage) and one (or both) of them is irritated like a mug and it's all because they are bored out of their mind when it comes to their sex life. It truly can't be emphasized enough that you're not functioning fully as a spiritual being if you're not tapping into your creative side. Your sex life is not exempt here. Not at all.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #5: Orgasms Are a Benefit, Not the Purpose of Sex
One of my favorite quotes is by Aristotle. He once said that the excess of a virtue is a vice; in an interesting way, this applies to this particular point. The musician Jim Morrison once said, "Whoever controls the media, controls the mind" and, unfortunately—tragically, really—the media has worked overtime to program people into believing that sex is a base-level act and humans are to respond to it as no more than being a dog in heat, when that couldn't be further from the truth. I write about sex on this platform literally all the time and while I am a huge fan of folks getting as many orgasms as they possibly can, I absolutely do not think that climaxing is the purpose of sex. Orgasms are a benefit yet it's not the reason why sex was designed; not from a spiritual standpoint, anyway.
And before some of you roll your eyes and assume that where I'm going with this is sex is to procreate, while I definitely think that is one purpose, it's not the top one on my list either (many married folks have sex and don't desire or cannot have children). Sex is about manifesting oneness. It's about bonding. It's about sharing yourself with someone in a way that no other act will allow you to do. It's about cultivating interdependence.
Any married couple who keeps the purpose of sex in mind will be able to find physical pleasure a lot easier to achieve than the ones who leave this out. Because again, while orgasms are bomb, when you're seeking the close-to-miraculous- closeness that sexual activity manifests, that leaves you satisfied in many ways; especially spiritually.
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #6: The Spirit Is Selfless
While it might seem like I've already addressed this point, humor me for a sec. Humans are made of flesh and the flesh can be flawed in so many ways. That's why it's so dope that we have a spiritual side to us. It's what reminds us that there is more to life than what we see and what we want. That's why I'm gonna forever be an advocate of marriage being a spiritual union. It's designed to elevate us on a higher spiritual plain (why do you think it comes with so much warfare? Real talk). Well, while I have already touched on the fact that marital sex should make us less selfish, another spiritual principle surrounding marital sex is that it should make you more spiritual, period.
Just like it's pretty difficult to remain angry during the act of sex (especially when it'sreally good sex), whether husbands and wives realize it or not, it's close to impossible to not tap into the spirit realm, period, when the act is going down. And the more you engage in something that is spiritual, the less you are consumed with your physical side. This means that you ultimately become a more spiritual being which makes you a more selfless person overall. And the more selfless you are, the more you are able to thrive in every facet of your life.
I recently read a study that said orgasms in sex are as potent as painkillers that treat migraines (so much for that "I've got a headache" excuse). Give thanks. I've also read that an orgasm gets us as close to a heavenly experience as possible on this side of heaven itself. Who doesn't want to experience that? And beyond this point, who doesn't want to do something that can ultimately make them a better person? Sex is spiritual. Being spiritual makes you more selfless. Being more selfless makes you a next level kind of being. Just one more reason to want to "engage" as much as possible. Right?
SEXUAL PRINCIPLE #7: SEX. IS. LIFE.
When a sperm and egg come together, it creates new. All of us are here because of this very fact. Hmph. I wonder how many marital sexual experiences would go to another level if they looked at their energy exchanges in a similar fashion—if they recognized that every time they had sex, LIFE came forth. I'm not talking about a little human. I'm referring to all of the ways that I defined life earlier in this article.
Again, synonyms for life include growth, soul, energy, enthusiasm, and vigor. When you have sex with your spouse, the two of you are causing things to grow. The two of you are truly becoming soul mates. The two of you are sharing each other's energy (energy is power). The two of you are igniting a level of enthusiasm in a way that only sex can create. And the two of you are bringing strength to one another. When I said sex is life, I meant it.
It can't be said enough that a clear distinction between a marital union and the kind of relationship that people have with others is you should definitely be having sex with your spouse. And when you really take in how much of a privilege it is to partake in something that is so spiritual, how could you not want to share that experience with them as much as possible. SEX. IS. LIFE. Remember that. 'Til death do you part.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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