For as long as I can remember, I was never the little girl who dreamed of a wedding dress, a house with a white picket fence, or having babies.
And that’s not to say I don’t want those things, I do. As a daughter of immigrants, I was always motivated for excellence and highly career-driven. My father constantly instilled the importance of education and a high-earning career before starting a family. Simply because he had to repeat college in the United States as his international college degree was not recognized. And my father didn’t migrate to the U.S. for me not to succeed.
Nonetheless, I had always said after I graduated college and when my life was in order that I would adopt a child by the age of 30 if I wasn’t in a committed relationship and/or married.
Well, that was 17 years ago, and I will be forty-fine in December of this year. I am still single and currently in a season of navigating my emotions so I can have a healthy, loving, relationship with an ideal partner. I’m at the age where I am consciously considering what family looks like for me. This could look like me and a partner. Me, a partner, and a pet. A partner, me, and their kids. If you’re one of my lifelong friends and you’re reading this, you know damn well that I was never open to dating someone with children. But I am not getting any younger, and as my grandmother used to say, “Pick an' pick, until yuh pick shit.”
Given that I didn’t grow up in a healthy home environment or witness a healthy relationship and/or marriage between my parents, the idea of having my own children scares me.
And it’s more than likely that I can give birth to twins. I would like to consider myself the generational curse breaker in my family. Like, why would I subject an innocent child to these unhealthy family dynamics? Given today’s dating climate and the number of unhealed men is even more alarming, who am I having a baby with? One thing I do know – if there is a “he,” “he” is not passing down his unhealed trauma and baggage to my child. I won’t allow it.
With that said, I have recently come to the conclusion that I do not biologically want children of my own. I am open to being a bonus mom or adoption. I absolutely do love children, though. Especially toddlers. I always want to hold someone’s baby and love on someone’s child. I love being an aunt, godmother, older cousin, and role model to the kids in my family and my friend’s children. It would have to take a really special person, a man who is a whole (not just healed), to make me feel safe enough to even want to consider having a child with him.
Today’s dating and relationship scene is so exhausting. For a lot of women, it seems nearly impossible to meet someone to marry and start a family with. And there are so many women who truly desire to be a mother and want children to be a part of their lives. We live in a society that is moving away from tradition in many aspects. Relationships are being redefined, and so is how we choose to be parents.
Enter the concept of platonic co-parenting or conscious co-parenting.
It sounds like the pact you made with a good friend when you were kids. If neither one of y’all are married or have kids by a certain age, you would marry each other. But it’s a little more complex than that – platonic co-parenting is an alternative to being a single mother by choice, adoption, or choosing some random man’s sperm at a sperm bank.
xoNecole looks at what platonic co-parenting is and how it works and asks five single women their thoughts on platonic co-parenting. Let’s get into it.
What Is Platonic Co-Parenting?
I first got a whiff of this child-rearing with a friend thing on Instagram when political analyst and activist, Van Jones announced the birth of his second child with a friend via conscious co-parenting. Jones states, “After the COVID lockdown, I got clear that I wanted another kid. I discovered that my friend Noemi also wanted a baby. So we decided to join forces and become conscious co-parents.” He adds, “It’s a concept that I hope more people will explore and consider.”
According to thebump.com, platonic co-parenting is not a new concept, it has been around for years. Whether it is referred to as “platonic co-parenting,” “elective co-parenting,” “conscious co-parenting,” or “intentional co-parenting,” it simply means making a decision to start a family with someone and a joint commitment to raise a child without a romantic history, sexual involvement, or marriage.
Platonic co-parenting has been utilized in the LGBTQ+ community and is also becoming more common among single heterosexuals as there has been a major shift in how people define family and family structures. According to parents.com and data from Pew, more than 16 million non-married Americans are raising children with a live-in partner. The 2018 data from Pew also suggests that fewer people are having sex. Therefore, platonic parenting with a friend seems like a natural evolution to family building.
Logistics of Platonic Co-Parenting
What platonic co-parenting offers is an alternative model for family building. And I want to emphasize there is no right or wrong way to go about it. No two people’s circumstances are the same. But the common denominator is the strong desire for family, children, and raising a human together. Platonic co-parenting can take various forms and manifest differently depending on the people involved.
Finding a Parenting Partner:
When we think of finding a partner to co-parent with, it could look like two friends of the opposite sex deciding to have a child together. This entails joint parental responsibilities, sharing birthdays, and holidays, and living together or living separately. It could look like two friends of the same sex who already have children respectively, but they choose to live together as a temporary solution to financial strain. It can also be IVF (in vitro fertilization), artificial insemination, surrogacy, or adoption as well.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to starting a family with someone, whether it’s done through a traditional or non-traditional route. You can read how two friends of seven years in England went about becoming platonic co-parents here.
Issues:
As with any life-changing event and/or arrangement, issues will always arise. Honest, strategic, and transparent conversations are required. According to Weightmans, a law firm in England, issues to consider with platonic co-parenting are:
- Living arrangements and logistics of the child moving between two households;
- Finances and financial responsibility;
- Parenting styles, values, and discipline;
- Religious beliefs and how the child will be raised;
- Childcare options and educational choices, and how these will be funded; and
- Healthcare and medical decisions including what should happen in an emergency situation.
- Naming the child, including their surname;
- The day-to-day work of caring for the child, especially immediately after the child is born. Will both parents live together? If so, where and for how long? And how will responsibilities for night-times, cooking, cleaning, etc. be shared?;
- Feeding and how this may impact any arrangements, especially in the first few months of the child’s life;
- How special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, Easter, etc. will be spent;
- Posting about the child on social media;
- What will happen if one parent enters into a romantic relationship, and how this will potentially change the arrangement, including the process of introducing the child to any new partner;
- How any potential conflicts will be resolved in the future and whether a family counselor or mediator will be consulted.
Parenting Plans:
It is without a doubt that platonic parenting requires legal counsel. A lawyer can assist with creating an agreeable parenting plan. Parenting plans can address legal considerations such as:
- Who will be recorded on the birth certificate as the child’s legal parents?
- Who will have parental responsibility for the child? And if it is not acquired automatically by one parent, how will parental responsibility be given to that parent?
- Should the parents enter into a parenting agreement recording the agreements that they have reached?
- If parents choose to live together for part or all of their child’s life, what are the legal considerations and implications of doing so? Especially if, for example, the house is owned by one parent. Do the parents need to enter into a cohabitation agreement as well as a parenting agreement?
- If a conflict arises, how would a court decide the arrangements for the child such as who they will live with and how they will spend time with each parent?
- If a conflict arises about specific issues such as religion, medical procedures, or schooling, how would the court approach these issues? See our article on specific issue orders.
- If one parent wishes to move away either in the U.S. or abroad in the future, how will a court approach such a move?
- It is important to note that one parent cannot move a child out of the country without either the consent of all other people with parental responsibility for the child or the approval of the court. Find out more about traveling abroad with children.
- Both parents’ legal obligation to provide for the child financially.
Benefits:
Weightmans also states platonic co-parenting can provide increased emotional stability for not only the child but co-parents as well. Given that the child and co-parents have access to a larger community of support and positive role models. It is also likely the child can experience positive communication between their parents and witness a healthy relationship due to the amicable arrangement. Parents can also benefit from shared financial and childcare responsibilities allowing for flexibility financially and personally.
Disadvantages:
There will always be disadvantages and/or conflict. It’s inevitable, and we are human. But it is how we navigate these disadvantages that make a difference. When it comes to platonic co-parenting, legal and financial complications definitely exist. Further difficulties arise when one parent chooses to move away or pursue a romantic relationship. The most evident disadvantage is the social stigma or misunderstanding in choosing a non-traditional family structure.
What Single Women Think About Platonic Co-Parenting
Now that you have an understanding of what platonic co-parenting is and how it works, let’s look at what five single, professional, young women think about this new family-building concept. Meet Alicia, 35, attorney; Brooke, 32, attorney; Ladini, 37, behavioral analyst; Jamila, 35, attorney; and Mimi, 35, licensed psychotherapist.
As a single woman given today’s dating patterns, scene, culture, and assuming you want children, is platonic co-parenting something you would consider? Why or why not?
“I would consider platonic co-parenting if I decided I was ready to have children. As a millennial, our lives are much more unconventional than previous generations. Parenting doesn’t have to be done one way. As a 35-year-old, I have developed many long-lasting platonic relationships. Raising a child with a platonic co-parent seems like a better option than being a single parent.” – Jamila
"Absolutely. It is my opinion that there are no guarantees in sharing caregiving responsibilities with any other individual, regardless of the nature of the relationship. I know people who co-parent adaptively after finding out they're pregnant post a one-night stand, and married couples who single parent due to having no to minimal support from their spouse.” – Mimi
“At first mention, it was an immediate no. But, as I did some research and applied more thought, absolutely. To me, it sounds like the perfect alternative. As we all know, relationships have their ups and downs, and raising children is no easy feat, so I feel that being able to choose from an objective place of true intentionality would be meaningful in its own way.” – Ladini
“It would be something to consider because, in the current times, I believe there are many social pressures for women to have children, but many of the women I know want to figure out the balance of having our dream careers and still parenting. Factors such as age, marriage, and careers are being juggled, and I think having alternative methods of parenting can allow for women to balance our needs and desires better without feeling like we had to give up parts of us.” - Brooke
“A few years ago, I made a pact with my male best friend; I told him, if I reached the age of 35, and we’re both single and childless, we should have a kid together. While I said it semi-jokingly, it was always something that played in the back of my mind. Fast forward to today, I’m 35, single, childless and he is married (laughs). My views have changed from when we first made the pact. When I create a child, I want my child to be created out of a romantic bond and relationship; I don’t want to settle on creating a family with a friend simply because time is ticking or the dating scene is just trash.” - Alicia
"When I create a child, I want my child to be created out of a romantic bond and relationship; I don't want to settle on creating a family with a friend simply because time is ticking or the dating scene is trash."
Drazen Zigic/Getty Images
Why do you think more women and/or men might consider platonic co-parenting as a feasible alternative to starting a family?
“Raising children is expensive. The cost of living is sky high, and the reality for a lot of people is that affording a child alone is not feasible. Having a reliable village to help raise the child is attractive.” – Jamila
“I think as societal pressures mount, people are attaching new meaning to the concept of family. With the emphasis on aging, I do believe that people (women) are made to feel like they are running out of time and as a result may be more inclined to make ‘pacts’ with trusted friends of the opposite sex.” – Ladini
“In the times in which we are seeing continued financial pressures and struggles, if we have established healthy relationships and have the same goals as parents, it can provide a healthy environment to raise children. We have seen statistics that steer people away from marriage and have children born in toxic relationships, and this could provide a remedy of having the new healthy home.” – Brooke
“People are fed up with the inventory when it comes to dating. When you reach your 30s, your life is a bit more stable, you have a solid foundation and you’re ready to build upon that foundation. However, after 20 first dates and no viable candidates for marriage or parenthood, you give up. I think more and more people are choosing the platonic co-parenting route because they desire family, they desire creating a legacy and if you can’t find that romantic partner, might as well be with someone you know, trust, and respect.” – Alicia
“This option offers an objective approach to fulfilling a desire that so many of us may feel we do not have control over. One may be financially and emotionally ready to take on expanding your family, but the time it takes to build trust with a significant other is overwhelming, let alone go into dating with that level of pressure is not appealing to anyone involved.” - Mimi
Given that some people don’t always grow up in a healthy environment whether it be single-family homes or a home with a mother and father, how do you think children of platonic co-parents might be affected?
“Maybe the same way children are affected in divorced families. I’m not sure.” - Jamila
“The only way that I feel that the children of platonic co-parents can be affected would be the absence of witnessing romantic, loving moments between their parents. Other than that, I think this situation can make for a very healthy upbringing.” – Ladini
“I think platonic co-parents would have to be comfortable with transparency and emotional intelligence because of the possible pressures from society as they view something different than the 'norm.' By building your own family, you also are given a second chance in a sense to create a safe environment for you and start a family to create healthy experiences of your own.” – Brooke
“If this is not an area that was discussed amongst the friends prior to the birth of a child, one can bring traumas and baggage from their past into the new situation. Everyone is raised differently, and if the co-parents do not discuss beforehand how they would like to collectively raise their child, it will cause issues that the child will have to be a witness to.” – Alicia
“I do not believe these children would be at any particular advantages or disadvantages as any other child developing in comparable macro social factors. Children accept their reality and this is the reason they are so vulnerable and at the same time resilient. Developing with two available parents is an undisputable privilege.” - Mimi
American society seems to be moving away from some traditions and/or societal norms, do you think women who truly desire to be a mother would be open to the idea of platonic co-parenting versus adoption or single mom by choice?
“Many women already choose to be single mothers because they want children. If they see it done successfully in other relationships, I could see them open to the idea.” – Jamila
“I do believe that women would be open to the idea. As the old adage goes, it takes a village. Although platonic love differs greatly from romantic love, one foundational component shared by both is having a strong bond and sense of loyalty. With that being said, choosing to have a family with someone who you have history with and a shared sense of values doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” – Ladini
“Yes, because when you have platonic healthy relationships, they can help cultivate that type of environment for the child and create a family dynamic so the mother doesn't have to do it alone without the traditional pressures we may hear when raising a child.” – Brooke
“Different strokes for different folks! I think more and more people are doing what works for them! Motherhood, parenthood is a beautiful thing, but it has to be with the right person, this is a lifelong bond you are creating. I think many women who desire motherhood are seeking out options that fit their lifestyles. It is a hard decision to make, but it is not one that should be taken lightly.” – Alicia
“Why not? With this option, you can have your own biological child with someone you truly care for and have a strong life-long relationship with. As humans, we are bound to evolve, and this is one of the many ways to find/seek fulfillment 'outside the box' sort of speak. As long as the two parties are consenting, what about it is so different?” – Mimi
"As humans, we are bound to evolve and this is one of the many ways to find/seek fulfillment 'outside the box' sort of speak. As long as the two parties are consenting, what about it is so different?”
Alessandro Biascioli/Getty Images
How I Feel About Conscious Co-Parenting
My thoughts? I definitely think platonic co-parenting seems like it would be a safer alternative on so many levels IF I truly desired to be a mother biologically. The elements of trust, consistency, commitment, understanding, emotional safety, transparency, shared values, etc. already exist with a lifelong friend based on an established history. Romantic relationships have their own challenges and adding a child makes it more complicated sometimes. Whereas if two friends intentionally decide to have a child together – it's almost like saying they can have the child and possibly not complicate parenting with the romantic aspect.
Given today’s dating scene and culture, it is more challenging these days for women to get to a secure place where these same elements exist romantically with the opposite sex. It’s a constant hit-or-miss type thing. Quite frankly it’s exhausting.
I, like many other women, desire a romantic relationship, to be in love and all the things. And some of these same women desperately want a child with a romantic partner. But if it’s not feasible for whatever reason – I can understand why women would choose platonic co-parenting or other non-traditional methods to start a family. Because these days women aren’t waiting on men anymore or wasting time waiting in general to live a fulfilled life. We create our own magic. We’re going to find a way to go after what we want and what our hearts desire. This includes motherhood and children.
As someone who is a legal professional and a business owner, I advocate for having an attorney for anything and everything. Situations always arise in navigating co-parenting. A neutral third party can assist with coming to reasonable agreements if the mother or father cannot. Similar to a relationship with a business partner and an operating agreement. It exists to navigate the nuisances, decision-making, and the challenges of owning a business together. Think of the business as a new baby or growing child.
As for children being affected by having platonic co-parents – I am not sure. I would hope that people who choose to be platonic co-parents have healed from their trauma and baggage before deciding to have a child together. I would hope they would both be emotionally available. I would hope they create a stable home as well as set the example for a loving environment for their child.
Based on the interviewee’s responses, there seems to be a strong consensus that platonic co-parenting just might be the new wave of family building. And I’m here for it. As an ever-changing society, we don’t have to agree with or accept platonic co-parenting. What we can do is respect individual choices. Let me reiterate there is no right or wrong way to define family or start a family. To be honest, look at how many people today are already engaged in some form of platonic co-parenting.
These people may be divorced or never married. They may have had a romantic relationship or not. A situationship or a friend-with-benefits type thing. Either way, a child was still born and those same two people decided to raise a child together. And the same legal issues, financial challenges, and parenting considerations still exist.
So, what’s the difference? If we as a society already accept those circumstances to be a societal norm, why not accept platonic co-parenting as an emerging norm for starting a family?
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December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
___
Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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