
I'm A Doctor, My Husband Is A Stay-At-Home Dad & We Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer. If you have a story you'd like to share but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
This is Dr. Gina Charles' story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I've always been nontraditional and done things my way. When I first met my husband in college, we must've been on date #3 when I said to him, "One day I'm going to have a daughter named Asha, and a house husband too." Ha!
The power of the tongue is real.
I was born in Dominica, West Indies, spent a few years living in Antigua, then immigrated to Harlem, NY at the age of five where I lived with my mother, brother, and a few other relatives. I always knew I would become a doctor, and at the same time, I also had a love for beauty and skincare. I began testing the waters in beauty as a bridal makeup artist while in med school.
Eventually, I got married and became a Board Certified family physician. My husband left graduate school to pursue a career in photography and we formed a wedding company, where he is the main photographer and I am the main bridal makeup artist. After some research of corrective skincare and aesthetics, we realized that there was a high-demand for skincare services from my brides, so we decided to offer these services as well. Our clientele immediately expanded. And with the help of my husband, coach, and advisors, we birthed a boutique medspa in Philadelphia.
This all kept our schedules relatively hectic in itself, minus even factoring in our daughter.
But after giving birth, everything changed. Between the daily operations of the medspa, me being a practicing physician, and my husband running a photography business, it was almost impossible to balance our schedule with personal needs and professional obligations. My husband and I had many conversations about what would be best for our living arrangements, and ultimately, we settled with him being a stay-at-home-dad. He was a full time entrepreneur at this point, so, it was kind of a no-brainer.
Basically, I got what I manifested 18 years ago without having to say it again.
After a while, working as often as I did took its toll and mom guilt set in. I remember when I went back to work after four weeks of maternity, and each day I spent away from my daughter, killed me. I was pumping at work, calling on FaceTime, and asking for pictures every available second of the day. Naturally, I couldn't help but feel at fault for not being with my family for so many hours. I felt I should be there for all of her firsts—and I've missed a few—but my husband is brilliant and amazingly supportive in helping me feel at ease with these struggles. He happily answers my FaceTime calls or he'll document and send pictures of everything our daughter does.
But how did my husband adjust? Does he have any regrets? When I asked him, I didn't know what to expect to hear but here's what he said:
"Staying home, the adjustment was easy at first until we had a daughter, then it became a bit difficult. I had to learn to care for our daughter, run a business from home, and manage our household (cooking, cleaning, shopping, lawn care etc.) It took me about two years after our daughter was born to get into a rhythm that worked for me.
[In the end] the moral is simple: if she wins, I win, and vice versa. It's a team effort, whether in business or in the home. We abide by the philosophy that in order for us to win in life, to break generational curses it has to be a team effort and each team member has to do whatever is necessary to for the team to win."
Damn, I love that man.
Once we settled into a routine, I began to learn how to balance, and appreciate, me time. Sure, I don't get to be home as often as I'd like but I still need solid moments to do absolutely nothing from all risky stresses. Ladies, it's important for us to be fully aware of the fact that not being present in one area, means being overtly present in another. I chose to seek decompression methods: spending mornings practicing meditation in our meditation room; focusing on mindfulness.
I share all of this to say, in the end, your family is exactly what you want it to be. Forget societal standards and understand that no one can decide what a family's roles should look like to you.
Many have questioned our arrangement—you can see it on their faces and even hear it in their voices. We deal with them both directly and indirectly, often dismissing the negative comments, but also openly addressing them as well.
We know what works for us, and we're pretty good at it. At the end of the day, we do what makes us happy. My husband calls himself the happiest man alive because he manages his business from home, he's happily married, and he gets to raise our child by instilling certain values and laying the foundation not taught in classrooms.
I've also learned that there are many women physicians who have this arrangement with their spouse as well, believe it or not, which was rather reassuring.
My husband is more than a SAHD, he's been my number one supporter since my undergraduate years, and he's literally and figuratively "shot with me in the gym". He sacrifices in building our home and family's foundation every day as our personal photographer, chauffeur, handyman, chef, travel partner, corny joke aficionado, and best friend.
He gives me so much pride in what we are building; our journey works for us - it is uniquely ours.
And we're going to continue on this crazy journey, our way.
If you're considering a stay-at-home-dad arrangement, my advice would be to first, be honest with each other and plan out how each of you will contribute to making the home acceptable, or who is responsible for certain tasks and bills. Be confident in your choice of the arrangement. Your confidence will inspire others who are considering doing the same, but also may be afraid of judgement.
Hopefully our story can make it a little easier for you, or give you that nudge of confidence that you're looking for.
It's your family, so play by your rules.
For more of Dr. Gina, follow her on Instagram.
Photos courtesy of Dr. Gina Charles
- How Stay-at-Home Dads Are Redefining Manhood - The Atlantic ›
- Stay At Home Dad - YouTube ›
- 10 Habits Of Successful Stay-At-Home Dads | HuffPost Life ›
- What I've learned being a stay at home dad | Glen Henry ... ›
- 8 Realities About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad You May Find Surprising ›
- Millennial Stay-At-Home Dads: Isolation And Stigma Still A Problem ... ›
- What It's Like to Be a Stay-at-Home Dad | The Art of Manliness ›
- Don't Let Your Husband Be a Stay-At-Home Dad ›
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock