Essence Atkins Talks 'Ambitions', Co-Parenting & Granting Herself Permission To Grow
Essence Atkins may be three decades into her career, but the Ambitions star doesn't take her long-standing success in Hollywood for granted. Though OWN's sizzling drama has approached its midseason finale, the veteran isn't pulling any breaks. "I'm on my way to acting class," she beams seconds into our call.
Essence may have landed a role on The Cosby Show after acing her first-ever audition as a teen and later became a familiar face on television as Yvette in the 90s sitcom Smart Guy, yet she doesn't move with an air of conceit. Her longevity is no mystery. She continues to approach the business as a student eager to grow and equipped to execute.
Best known for her work in comedy, the Marlon alum steps into unchartered territory on Ambitions, displaying another layer of her immense talent as Amara Hughes. Season one finds the assistant U.S. attorney tracking corruption in Atlanta's City Hall all while attempting to save her marriage after infidelity—a fight that takes a grim turn after an old foe and the sins of her past invade her world.
In this xoChat, Essence hints at what's to come when the OWN drama returns and bares her heart as she discusses finding balance between motherhood and career, giving herself permission to evolve past her mistakes, and tackling intimacy onscreen in her single season.
xoNecole: ‘Ambitions’ is a departure from what a lot of your fans know you for. What makes taking on this project both exciting and challenging?
Essence Atkins: The challenge, really for me, is being away from my son. We shot the show on location in Atlanta, so I was gone for seven months. I flew back and forth to be [in Los Angeles] as much as possible, and the production team was so amazing at making sure that I had pockets of time when I could come home. A one-hour drama schedule is so different. Doing a sitcom, the hours aren't so long. It's almost like having a 9 to 5 except for the days you shoot in front of a live audience. When I was shooting Marlon, it was a 15-minute drive from my house.
It was easier in terms of getting to work and the production side of it. What was so fun was exactly that: playing a character that so many people aren't used to seeing me play. Amara is way less together than most of them. As successful as she is, there are many aspects of her life that are a hot mess and in turmoil, and that was exhilarating for me to play someone who is so flawed, who has so many broken bits and so many pieces where she is so human. As I age and mature, I find that my life and complexities are much more interesting than when I was younger and the roles were more about being cute and fun and the object of someone's desire. Amara's story is really about her growth and pain, and I love that.
Something I imagine that bonds you to your character is family. Amara is working on preserving her marriage, and we also see how she grapples with her daughter being away at boarding school. What have you learned about yourself when trying to strike a balance between motherhood and the demands of your job?
I'm grateful to have a partner, even though we're not married any longer, who's supportive. My ex-husband is really involved and is a great parent to our son. I'm really fortunate that he works with me really well in terms of making sure that our son has stability and consistency even though my life isn't very stable. I know that a lot of single moms are truly doing it on their own, and I can say that I do have help, and I have help in someone who loves my son as much as I do. There's a lot of grace I have to give myself when I miss stuff. Being away from my son, I miss certain milestones and big moments in his life, and I can get buried in guilt sometimes about that.
At the same time, I understand that part of the benefit of my career and success is that it affords him a life that a lot of kids can't have in terms of extracurricular activities and access and the way he gets to do things and move in life. There are definitely moments where I beat myself up about not being able to be there physically, but I have also learned in this journey of being away from him, working on Ambitions in particular, how resilient he is and how okay he is. He did great in first grade, and I was gone for almost all of it. He finished with straight As on the principal's list, and he did exceedingly well. I think that, ultimately, kids are incredibly adaptable and as long as they know that they're loved, they really can flourish, and he knows that he's loved, and that was something that I was assured of in this season.
Essence Atkins in 'Ambitions'
Courtesy of OWN
"There's a lot of grace I have to give myself when I miss stuff. Being away from my son, I miss certain milestones and big moments in his life, and I can get buried in guilt sometimes about that."
[Your character in 'Ambitions'] Amara is really going through it right now. She’s determined to save her marriage, but just when her husband is ready to let go of her infidelity, her past literally shows up to haunt her. Where does she go from here?
There are so many question marks. The next seven episodes after the midseason finale are so action packed. As far as Amara goes, the one thing I can say is, she's going to go through it even more than she already has. You learn what a person is really about in times of great trouble, and how a person behaves in adversity is very indicative of who they are, so I think that people will really get to know and fall in love with Amara and what she's about. I also say when there's love, there is a possibility of resurrection. I believe that love and hope can really make miracles happen, and I believe that her and [her husband] Titus love each other.
When I look at Amara’s life, there are so many people reminding her of where she used to be. Has there ever been a time in your life when someone wouldn’t let go of their memory of you or afford you space to grow? If so, how did you overcome that?
Not that long ago, I had to let go of a long-term friend for that very reason because they were holding onto a grievance, something I had done that really hurt them, but it was from literally 30 years prior. I thought, 'If you're still holding onto this, I don't know how we can be friends because you somehow feel like I owe you something, and I feel like we've moved past that. I can't go back and erase what I did, but if you haven't forgiven me after all of this, then what is it that we're doing here?'
It was really painful to let go because it was a long-term friendship and somebody I still love to this day and wish them well. If people continue to hold on to who you used to be, you can stay stuck if you stay stuck to them. I have no desire to remain barred by who I used to be. I'm a product of my own evolution, and I work really hard on myself to improve myself and if that's not seen, then you're not looking at me anymore. You're looking at who I used to be.
Courtesy of OWN/Photographer: Peggy Sirota
"I have no desire to remain barred by who I used to be. I'm a product of my own evolution, and I work really hard on myself to improve myself and if that's not seen, then you're not looking at me anymore. You're looking at who I used to be."
You opened up about your divorce three years ago. When it comes to your personal life today, is romance a priority for you at the moment or has it taken a backseat?
It's taken a backseat big time. There's not a whole lot of opportunity for me to date. I definitely need someone who understands that I don't get to be spontaneous. I don't get to Netflix and chill. I have a son, I have a life, I have a career. There's a lot of moving pieces, so whoever I'm partnered with has to understand there are priorities and there are a lot of things to be considered in having time to spend together. It's not that I'm opposed to romance or partnership. I just don't prioritize it the way I did when I was single and didn't have a child (laughs). It's just a different dynamic. It would be nice. Somebody actually asked me the other day if I would get married again. I would like to think that I would get to a place where I would want to.
Even though romance isn’t centered in your life right now, it’s definitely centered in Amara’s. This series brings a lot of heat to the screen. How did you adjust to the amount of steamy scenes you have to take on?
Oh, honey. Prayer and squats (laughs). There's the outside confidence, which is just making sure that I feel good and look good to me and that I'm proud of how my body is and not feeling any kind of shame so I can be unabashed in that dynamic. But there's also the prayer aspect, which I really say honestly, because I don't have regular intimacy in my life and to go to set and kiss all day and be hugged up on somebody and then go to an empty apartment...there was a lot of pain in that for me because I'm pretending to be in love and have this great relationship but in real life, there's a deficit. The contrast of what was happening onscreen versus what was happening in real life was glaring at times. You make out all day, but in real life the only people kissing you are being paid to do so, and that can be excruciatingly ouch (laughs). I have incredible friends who get it. When you're talking about whatever your obstacles or problems are, you want people who are going to encourage you but who also aren't going to dismiss it. There's sadness in that, and the people in my life get that.
"There was a lot of pain in that for me because I'm pretending to be in love and have this great relationship but in real life, there's a deficit. The contrast of what was happening onscreen versus what was happening in real life was glaring at times."
Aside from stretching your talent on ‘Ambitions’, you’ve set your eyes on producing and expanding as a creative all around. When you look ahead, what are you most excited about?
I just produced an independent feature called Open along with my friends Terri Vaughn and Cas Sigers who have a production company in Atlanta called Nina Holiday. It's about a couple in an open marriage, and I'm really excited about that. We just started putting together a rough edit, and it'll be coming out next year. I also starred in the project. I'm looking forward to not just being in front of the camera, but bringing things to life that my friends are the leading ladies and men of. Success to me is not just about me and what I'm doing. Success to me is about the opportunities that I help create for others that deserve it.
For more Essence, follow her on Instagram. And be sure to catch the midseason finale of Ambitions tonight (August 27) on OWN at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
- Essence Atkins, Mattie James and Shanicia Boswell Open Up About ... ›
- Headline Heat: Essence Atkins Talks Divorce, Chemistry With ... ›
- Essence Atkins Reveals Her Divorce from Husband After 10 Years ... ›
- Essence Atkins talks dating and new show 'Ambitions' on OWN ... ›
- OWN's New Show, 'Ambitions,' Stars Robin Givens & Essence Atkins ›
- 'Ambitions': Robin Givens And Essence Atkins Will Lead OWN's ... ›
- Essence Atkins talks 'Ambitions' premiere on Good Day Atlanta ... ›
Shanice Davis is a writer from New York, dedicated to illuminating women of color and Caribbean culture with her pen. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @alwayshanice.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
‘Found’ Star Shanola Hampton Spent $532 On Her Wedding. 6 Reasons Why That’s Beyond Bomb.
A few weeks ago, a girlfriend asked me to name a female celebrity who I personally found to be physically beautiful. Although it took me a second to run through my mental Rolodex, two people who came to my mind were actorsJavicia Leslie (who I first “stumbled upon” via the series Chef Julian) and Shanola Hampton.
As far as Shanola goes, I was first introduced to her via the independent film Things Never Said(which also starred Omari Hardwick). Anyway, it’s always so cool to watch people evolve in their respective fields and Shanola has definitely become a household name thanks to the role that she currently plays inthe NBC seriesFound.
And y’all, my fondness for her certainly went up a few notches after I peeped a few things that she recently shared ina PEOPLE interview. In 2025, she will have been married to her beloved for 25 years (salute!). As she was talking about their wedding day, she shared that they eloped in Las Vegas, that it only cost them $532, that she wore a thrift store dress and “Erykah Badu headwrap” and that she only has one regret.
Because they were “too broke” at the time to afford a full elopement package, they didn’t get a videotape of her nuptials (they do have pics, though). She also said that a big part of the reason for the regret is because she adored her husband, Daren’s vows: “Gosh, if we could only have seen what it was going to be...” INDEED.
As a marriage life coach, something else that I appreciated about the article is when she said, “Yes, you learn and grow and evolve. But you don't change each other by marrying each other." Lawd, if more people really got that, less folks would end up in divorce court (check out “The Right Relationship IMPROVES Not CHANGES You”).
However, the main reason why I’m using Shanola’s words of wisdom as the intro for this piece is because I know far too many couples who either keep putting off wedding plans to save thousands of dollars for a ceremony or they are far too stressed out because they think a big wedding is something that absolutely must be done.
Well, between what you just read and what you’re about to read, here’s hoping that you’ll realize (and accept) that there are all kinds of benefits that come from taking the “less is more” approach — yes, even when it comes to wedding days.
First, the Difference Between a Micro-Wedding and Eloping
GiphyI promise you that I don’t get why so many folks damn near hyperventilate whenever they hear “small wedding” (or micro-wedding which is apparently the popular term right through here). It’s like they are automatically wired to think that means making some wack concessions or that they automatically have to elope. Well, before getting into some actual facts that come from taking the minimalist approach to one’s nuptials, let me just say that just because you don’t end up having 500 people on your wedding guest list or three choices of cuisine at your reception, that doesn’t mean that you have to end up at the courthouse in a pair of sweats.
For one thing, treat yourself to TikTok and put “Black elopements” in the search field. Yes, even if you do elope, you can still dress to the nines (or 12s because you don’t have to spend as much money as you would on a wedding), it can be at another location (like a beach or even a church) and then you have the rest of the day to do whatever you want: post up in a swanky hotel, fly some place that requires a passport stamp for your honeymoon — whatever. And, since you’re eloping, you and your bae can be totally off the grid the entire time.
However, a micro-wedding is a bit different. Basically, it’s what happens when you do pretty much everything that you wanted to do for your wedding only, it’s with a guest list of 50 people or less. And I’m pretty sure you can see the immediate benefit that comes with taking that approach: you’re able to save money — and y’all, since reportedly a whopping 56 percent of couples went into debt just from their wedding alone and financial issues continue to be a leading cause of divorce, well, yeah, don’t diss a micro-wedding. It definitely has its perks.
Okay, but there are other researched and fact-based reasons why it can be a wise move to go smaller as far as weddings are concerned. Here are just six of ‘em.
1. Expensive Rings (Oftentimes) Predict Shorter Marriages
GiphySome of y’all may remember the student last year who went viral on TikTok and then became a news story thanks to his under-twenty-bucks device that let teachers at his school know if their engagement/wedding ring was the real deal or not (chile). Hmph, all it did was remind me of the De Beers origin story of engagement rings and how I will continue to share it until each and every cow comes home. Basically, the company was going broke, it came up with the slogan “a diamond is forever” and folks have been drinking the Kool-Aid ever since. SMDH. And what’s really wild is while people actually think that saving up three months of a salary is a sign of one’s everlasting love, there are articles out in cyberspace with titles like “Why an Expensive Ring May Predict a Short Marriage.”
In this one, it features a study that said the people who spend somewhere between $2,000-$,4,000 have a higher chance of divorcing. The reason? Eh, I’d venture to say that it’s probably not so much about the ring itself but the motive behind why someone wants a really expensive one, how realistic their expectations are about marriage and their financial future, and if they want to be a wife or just a bride — and yes, there is a really big difference, chile (check out “Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?”). Not to mention the stress that the groom-to-be may have experienced to make the sacrifice (especially if it was above his means). Either way, take note.
2. Smaller Weddings Can Be Exquisitely Intimate
GiphyI have a little love sister who has been engaged for over three years now. Y’all, it can’t be said enough that the purpose of being engaged is to plan your wedding — literally that is what the time is for. Know what else needs to be reiterated? The fact that some studies say that the longer you’re engaged, the more likely you are to divorce. One study gets even more specific than that. It says that if you’ve been engaged for more than 27 months, the intimacy between you and your partner will suffer during its newlywed years and yes, it could lead to a serious breakdown in the relationship.
That’s why I’ve been telling her that instead of her and her fiancé damn near killing themselves to pay for an over-the-top wedding, they can have a smaller one — one that is more intimate and can be just as beautiful. If you don’t believe me, check out Brides' “40 Small Wedding Ideas for an Intimate Affair” piece. Personally, I’ve always liked the idea of renting out a really nice vacation house and having loved ones all stay together while getting married at the same location.
Sometimes big weddings are so big that a lot of the “closeness” is lost and certain moments are a complete blur. With a smaller wedding, the chances of these things transpiring end up dropping…significantly so.
3. The Planning Process Is Far Less Stressful
GiphyI’m telling you, when it comes to this topic, the facts just keep on coming. Boy, there is nothing like working withan engaged couple while they are planning their wedding — if that doesn’t reveal some things about what their relationship is actually made of, nothing will. Hey, but you don’t have to take my word for it.
A few years back, Business Insider published an article entitled, “Wedding planners reveal the 10 biggest red flags that a couple won't make it.” One of the things that it said was, “From unrealistic budgets to family conflicts, there are multiple problems that can arise during the wedding-planning process that can create rifts in a marriage or even lead to divorce.”
Yeah, they ain’t neva lied because if you don’t know how to keep your emotions in check, how to negotiate, how to set boundaries with family members and friends (bookmark that one), and how to compartmentalize your wedding with the rest of your relationship — you shouldn’t ignore that; it’s actually showing you something about your dynamic that you should address prior to jumping any broom.
Anyway, the main moral to the story when it comes to this one is if your wedding is small(er), there is less to plan…and if there is less stress, then your relationship won’t end up having to endure so much pressure. #justsaying
4. Less Folks? Less People to Please.
GiphyAh yes, the bookmark. Listen, if you are a bona fide people-pleaser (check out “How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser & Start Doing You”), the wedding planning process is going to test you in ways that you’ve never been tested before! This will especially be the case if you have some pretty poor boundaries with your loved ones (and/or perhaps his) to begin with. It’s another message for another time that you really need to involve people in the planning process who know that it’s you and your fiancé’s day (NOT JUST YOURS), that they should just be supportive and encouraging (not demanding and entitled) and it only needs to consist of who will make it be about your needs over their wishes.
For now, I’ll just say that when your wedding and guest list are smaller, there are far less people to, well, please. And again, if you are a people-pleaser (or a people-pleaser in recovery) that can really take a load off.
5. Cheaper Weddings Lead to Happier Marriages. Science Says So.
GiphySo, about a decade ago, CNN published the article, “Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding.” The gist of it simply stated that “a new study found that couples who spend less on their wedding tend to have longer-lasting marriages than those who splurge.” The first thing that comes to my mind on this one is simply, that some people marry people and others “marry” weddings. Now does this mean that every couple who has an opulent wedding day is shallow and superficial or that they are getting married for the wrong reasons? Of course not. For one thing, some folks can afford to have an expensive wedding (meaning, it won’t put them into debt to have one).
Plus, having extravagant taste doesn’t mean that someone’s love isn’t real. AT THE SAME TIME, THOUGH, having a big wedding thinking that it proves something? It really proves nothing as far as the foundation of a healthy marriage is concerned. Yeah, my biggest takeaway from this point is when you just want to start the “becoming one” process with the man who you love, the price tag really doesn’t matter. They way it should be.
6. Finances Can Go Elsewhere
GiphyLast year, CNBC published the article, “Gen Z, millennial couples say it’s too expensive to get married in this economy.” Boy, and if this doesn’t prove the ultimate point that I’ve been trying to make this entire time, nothing will. Y’all, when you really want to be with your “one”, who cares about how beaded a dress is, how expensive a venue should be or how tall a cake looks — and so, why should you wait damn near forever until you can pay for all of those things? A party is nothing compared to a lifetime partner. That said, STAY FOCUSED.
Besides, all of those thousands that you saved by not having a big wedding can go to things like a downpayment on a house, a really long international honeymoon, a new car, a savings account for your future children, a retirement account — the possibilities really are endless and all of them can help your marriage to have a more solid footing.
____
So, if you initially read the title of this and low-key got cynical, maybe now you get just how “onto something” Shanola and her husband — again of almost 25 years — actually were. Smaller, less expensive weddings can be absolutely priceless. For all sorts of reasons. As you just read.
Again, salute to them and, if you are (currently) engaged, wise wedding planning wishes to you.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images