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Your September 2021 Horoscopes Are All About Harmony & Balance
The beginning of the month invites us to clean up the messy areas of our lives just in time for the change of seasons. You may be confronted by your own habits and compulsions that contribute to the disarray. With curiosity and compassion, you can create new patterns that are more supportive of your well-being. Restoring balance to your life is the key to experiencing more peace, joy, and satisfaction in your life. For more about your September 2021 horoscopes, check out what's in store for your zodiac sign this month:
Aries
The month begins with a New Moon on the 6th inviting you to commit to a new routine that will support a better work-life balance. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio helping you attract support from an unexpected resource. You'd be surprised by who's been watching you put in all of that hard work. When Mars shifts into Libra on the 14th, be mindful of how you approach your relationships. Partnerships can be tested during this time if you're not considerate of the other person's needs.
Compromise isn't such a bad thing when everyone gets to win, Aries.
The Full Moon on the 20th is the perfect time to wrap up karmic cycles that are holding you back from reaching the next level in life. Cut out the dead weight and be open to the new experiences that await. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra, making this a good time to adjust your boundaries where necessary and to renegotiate any contracts that aren't suiting your needs. If you're getting into any new contracts, try to do so before Mercury goes Retrograde on the 27th.
Taurus
A harmonious New Moon on the 6th gets September started off on the right foot for you, Taurus. Make some time for pleasure, romance, and play as much as you make time for achieving your goals. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio, helping you get a little closer to others.
Let your guards down and allow those closest to you to experience your tenderness.
When Mars enters Libra on the 14th, you're motivated to create more balance in your daily routine and physical body. The Full Moon on the 20th illuminates the intentions of those around you, helping you to clarify who you need to keep close and who should be loved from a distance. When the Sun shifts into Libra on the 22nd, consider practices that can benefit your mental and physical wellness--such as breath work, meditation, yoga, or spending a little more time in nature. On the 27th, Mercury goes Retrograde which could invite you to revisit a health regimen or routine that you've benefited from previously.
Gemini
The New moon on the 6th brings your attention to matters of family and home, Gemini. Be mindful of tension arising due to a lack of balance between household responsibilities and work. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio which could have you garnering the attention of some hidden enemies that don't enjoy seeing how successful you've been in the workplace. Protect your energy with prayer, spiritual baths, or some Black Obsidian to ward off the evil eye. When Mars enters Libra on the 14th, it's time to have some fun! You've been all work and no play.
Be more intentional about doing something for pleasure.
The Full Moon on the 20th is challenging you to find the balance between you-time, your career goals, and the needs of your family. You can't fill anyone from an empty cup so don't feel guilty for taking a step back from all of your various responsibilities--even if just for a day. On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Libra revitalizing your inner child and your desire to create. Go to an art museum, write a song, hit up Hobby Lobby--do all of the things that your creative genius needs to feel life isn't just about adulting. On the 27th, your ruling planet, Mercury, goes Retrograde, making this a good time to tie up loose ends on a project you've been procrastinating on.
Cancer
The month begins with a harmonious New Moon on the 6th encouraging you to be a little kinder to yourself, Cancer. Oftentimes, we're our own worst critic. Seek to see yourself through the eyes of the person who loves you most. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio inviting you to open up to the creative and sexual healing available to you through self-pleasure or an intimate connection with another soul. When Mars enters Libra, you could find yourself in the midst of some family drama with you being chosen as the mediator (what's new?).
Protect your peace and allow other people to fight their own battles.
The Full Moon on the 20th sets you up for a spiritually transcendental experience that reminds you of just how limitless, powerful, and magical you truly are. On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Libra encouraging you to get your home prepared for the change of seasons on the horizon. Decorating your space for Spooky Season can be just what you need to help you feel more grounded. On the 27th, Mercury goes Retrograde making this a good time to revisit plans about relocating, buying/selling a home, and family planning.
Leo
The month kicks off with a New Moon on the 6th inviting you to get serious about your finances. After a lavish birthday season, it's time to reel in the spending and get yourself back on a budget, Leo. Consider new ways of expanding your income to support the extravagant lifestyle you want to live. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio which has you feeling stretched thin between your family's expectations and what you want for yourself.
When Mars enters Libra on the 14th, you're feeling extra spicy so you shouldn't have a hard time speaking up for your needs and asserting your boundaries.
The Full Moon on the 20th can be an emotional time for you. Stock up on plenty of Kleenex and red wine to see you through it. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra, making this a good time to hit the books or scour the internet for information on a hobby or project that you want to perfect. Try not to overdo it on the caffeine. Your thirst for knowledge needs to be balanced with time to eat and rest as well. On the 27th, Mercury goes Retrograde which could have you revisiting an old conversation or tying up loose ends on a project.
Virgo
September kicks off with a New Moon in your sign on the 6th inviting you to make a wish for what you want to manifest in this next year. Dream big and watch how the Universe matches your energy in magical ways. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio drawing lots of attention your way. Intense connections can form during this transit that help you and others feel seen on a much deeper level, Virgo.
When Mars enters Libra on the 14th, you're focused on solidifying new contracts that will ultimately increase your earning potential.
The Full Moon on the 20th can result in the end of a contract with a client, employer, or partnership but trust that this only creates space for an opportunity or person that is more in alignment with you. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra which is revitalizing your self-esteem and reinforcing just how amazing you are. A readjustment of your personal, and financial, boundaries may be necessary in response to this growing recognition of your value. On the 27th, Mercury goes Retrograde so be prepared to revisit some existing agreements and to renegotiate a contract. It's important that you get everything on the table so everything can move forward seamlessly once Mercury goes direct next month.
Libra
The month begins with a New Moon inviting you to cut out anything that is draining your life force so you can enter into your new year feeling light and refreshed. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio, encouraging you to redefine your relationship values. If your connections have been a little too surface level, you could be craving something deeper. Look within yourself to see how you've been reinforcing relationships that don't provide you with the intimacy you need. On the 14th, Mars shifts into your sign which makes it easier for you to assert yourself and your boundaries.
It's time to take ownership of the world that you are weaving, Libra.
The Full Moon on the 20th is a good time to detox from anything (and anyone) that is weighing you down. Striking a balance between your need for self-care and your responsibilities comes into focus during this time. Your birthday season officially begins when the Sun shifts into your sign on the 22nd, providing you with a much-needed boost of energy. When Mercury goes Retrograde on the 27th, life slows down for the next few weeks giving you a chance to reflect on recent changes and decisions you've made to wrap up certain cycles in your life.
Scorpio
The New Moon on the 6th invites you to expand your social network, Scorpio. Get outside of your comfort zone and meet some new people that inspire you to grow. On the 10th, Venus enters your sign, making you a magnet for good fortune, divine opportunities, and a whole lot of love. Open your heart to receive all of the blessings available to you. When Mars shifts into Libra on the 14th, your energy levels may be waning.
Get plenty of rest during this transit and be mindful of repressed anger that has more of a tendency to pop out when you're not taking good care of yourself.
The Full Moon on the 20th is a supportive time for revealing a creative project or indulging in some pleasure. Romance is in the air, making this the perfect date night. On the 22nd, the Sun joins Mars which is kicking up the aggression (and possibly some violent dreams). Take note of what your subconscious may be trying to communicate to you. Energy leaks will become all the more apparent during this transit, especially when Mercury goes Retrograde on the 27th. Given the more introspective nature of this transit, you'll be able to gain more clarity into the root of any anger, resentment, or depletion.
Sagittarius
The beginning of the month brings your attention to your career goals, which may be shifting with this New Moon on the 6th. As much as it's nice to make money, you may find yourself considering how you can be of service to others through the work that you offer to the world. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio which could have you attracting some intense connections that may be borderline toxic. You can't save everybody (or really anyone for that matter).
The S on your chest doesn't stand for "Superwoman"--it stands for Sagittarius. Let people handle their own problems.
On the 14th, Mars shifts into Libra bringing your focus to your friendships. Any imbalances will be harder to ignore which could have you pulling back or seeking connection elsewhere. The Full Moon on the 20th gives you an opportunity to make peace with your more vulnerable side that may not have been nurtured in your childhood. On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Libra, motivating you to collaborate with like-minded people that can help you bring your vision into reality. The month wraps up with Mercury going Retrograde, giving you a chance to breathe new life into an old dream.
Capricorn
September begins on an optimistic note with you looking to expand your horizons around the New Moon on the 6th. Going back to school, committing to a new spiritual practice, or traveling overseas may be on your to-do list. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio which helps you deepen your connections with your friends, Capricorn. Be mindful of possessive and controlling energies that can put a damper on the good vibes. When Mars shifts into Libra on the 14th, you're feeling the pressure to make some major boss moves.
Securing contracts, sponsorships, and other partnerships will be a key to your success.
The Full Moon on the 20th heightens your ability to communicate with the spiritual realm. Pay close attention to your dreams. Your ancestors and guides have something they want to communicate to you (and possibly through you). When the Sun shifts into Libra on the 22nd, your motivation to build your legacy needs to be tempered if someone else is involved. You could be coming off even more bossy than usual. Everyone moves at a different pace. Try to lead by example, not by force. On the 27th, Mercury goes Retrograde, giving you a chance to revise any existing contracts and agreements. Read the fine print before getting into any new partnerships during the Retrograde.
Aquarius
The beginning of the month is a bit more introspective for you with the New Moon on the 6th, Aquarius. Spend some time in self-reflection by journaling or catching up with your therapist. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio which supports you in conquering your to-do list regarding your career goals. As distracting as the energies may be around you, you're locked into achieving your goals and putting the rest of the world on pause for a bit.
When Mars shifts into Libra on 14th, your wanderlust is gnawing at you to take a break--at least for a pre-Mercury Retrograde vacation.
The Full Moon on the 20th provides you with some miraculous financial breakthroughs that you've been praying for. Treat this blessing as the gift that it is before you go on a shopping spree. Save some money and pay off some of your debt first. On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Libra, making this a good time to go back to school, sign up for a workshop, or reconnect with your spiritual practice. The month wraps up with Mercury going Retrograde on the 27th, giving you a chance to revisit a former practice or study that brought balance to your life.
Pisces
The month begins with a New Moon on the 6th encouraging you to (re)establish your boundaries based upon your changing needs and desires. Understand that your boundaries are just as fluid as you are and will routinely need to be communicated to those around you, Pisces. On the 10th, Venus enters Scorpio helping you dive deeper into your spiritual studies and practices. This is an extremely regenerative time for you requiring solitude for you to fully tap into the benefits. When Mars shifts into Libra on the 14th, you're diving deep to explore the root of any imbalances in your life--particularly within your relationships.
Any repetitive patterns and lessons you're experiencing may need another unbiased perspective. Talking through it with a therapist can glean insight into your blindspots.
The Full Moon on the 20th takes place in your sign, liberating you from the confines of expectations from others. It's time to take back control of your life by letting go of the unnecessary stress and pressure that comes with trying to make everyone happy. That's not your job. Happiness is an inside job. Hand that responsibility back over to who it belongs to. The Sun shifts into Libra on the 22nd, helping you strike a balance within any financial partnerships you're a part of. Keep a close eye on your budget and spending habits to become more fiscally responsible. The month wraps up with Mercury going Retrograde, helping you clear out some karma regarding intimacy and connection to others.
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
I’m telling you, as someone who has been writing on sex for well over two decades at this point, so long as you’re interested in the topic, you will always — and I do mean ALWAYS — learn something new. Take multiple orgasms, for example. Did you know that there is a difference betweenmultiples and stacked ones? While multiple orgasms are about experiencing more than one climax within a short period of time, a stacked orgasm is like well, it’s a lot like edging. The reason why I say that is because stacked orgasms focus on getting someone to the brink of an orgasm, then pausing so that when they return to that same place of stimulation, their orgasms will be just that much more pleasurable.
Anyway, although it’s pretty true that whenever the topic of multiple orgasms comes up, it usually centers around women, the reality is that men are able to have them as well. Without much effort?Reportedly, less than 10 percent of guys in their 20s and less than seven percent of them over 30 can. For the record, what qualifies are guys who can naturally orgasm 2-4 times within an under two-minute timeframe. Yes, the percentile is low; that’s the bad news.
The good news is there are some hacks that can help those who don’t fall into the “automatically blessed in this way” category to become multi-orgasmic too. I’ve done some research and found five things that your man can do prior to sex to make having more than one orgasm easier for him along with five things that you can do during sex that can really take achieving the goal to another level.
Let’s dig in.
1. What He Should Do: Up His Testosterone
A main hormone contributor to orgasms is testosterone. So, it makes all the sense in the world that in order for a man to experience more of them, his testosterone levels would need to be at a peak level.Some natural ways to encourage your man to get his levels to where they need to be is to remind him to exercise at least three times a week, to get some time in the sun (and/or take a vitamin D supplement), to consume alcohol in moderation, to keep his stress levels to a minimum and to avoid taking in too many phytoestrogens (which is plant-based estrogen);some of those foods would include soy, dairy, sunflower seeds, grapes, collard greens (I know, right?) and beer.
2. What He Should Do: Do Some Kegels
Whenever the topic of Kegels comes up, it’s also usually in the context of women strengthening their pelvic floor in order to prevent/improve incontinence and make sex more pleasurable. However, did you know that men can benefit from a form of this type of exercise too? When men learn how toidentify and then strengthen their own pelvic floor muscles, it can give their genital region a lot more self-control.As a direct result, it can reduce symptoms related to erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation and it can potentially intensify their orgasms as well.
One way that a man can do a simple Kegel is by starting and stopping his urine streaming whenever he’s using the bathroom. Some other forms of male Kegel exercises can be foundhere andhere.
3. What He Should Do: Learn About Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms
The “real ones” can rap damn near every lyric of Salt-N-Pepa’s “Whatta Man” (featuring En Vogue) from back in the day. In it, there are a couple of lines that say, “He takes his time and does everything right/Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night.” I mean, while that’s cool ‘n all (I guess — LOL), if you want a multi-orgasmic man, he’s gonna need to be able to accomplish more than that, chile.
And since once a man ejaculates, that’s where the refractory period (which is basically the period of time between when someone orgasms and is sexually responsive enough to be able to orgasm again), in order for a guy to be able to have several orgasms at one time more easily, NOT EJACULATING should be the goal.
This is where non-ejaculatory orgasms come in.
They are all about a man learning how to enjoy the sensation of an orgasm without ejaculating in the process. Your partner can learn more about how to achieve those by reading Men’s Health’s article here.
4. What He Should Do: Master Belly Breathing
You’d be hard-pressed to read an article on how to have powerful or multiple orgasms without improving one’s breathing techniques not coming up in it. That’s because deep breathing helps to relax the body — and the more relaxed a person is, the easier it is for them to climax. That said, a great breathing technique for men is called belly breathing (ordiaphragmatic breathing); it’s all about getting on your back, putting one hand on the upper part of your chest while the other rests right below your rib cage.
As you take air in through your nose, focus on it coming from your lower belly area. If you do this, while the hand that is on your chest remains in the same spot, the one on your stomach should rise. As you exhale, tighten your abdominal muscles and then repeat. If you and your partner implement this as a form of foreplay prior to sex andyou use your hands to caress his chest as he focuses on his belly and breathing, it can be a gentle form of edging that can make achieving multiple orgasms for him easier once you start to engage in actual intercourse.
5. What He Should Do: Get More Rest
When you get a chance, check out the article that I penned for the platform a few years back entitled, “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand.” For now, I’ll just say that if your partner is sleep-deprived, that will make it challenging for him to have one orgasm, let alone several in a row. Two reasons whysleep deprivation is so problematic is because it can throw off hormones, increase stress, and heighten a man’s chances of experiencing erectile dysfunction. So, if your partner isn’t getting between 6-8 hours of rest on a pretty consistent basis, that is something else that can make having a multiple orgasm hella challenging.
Now let’s get into some things that you can do to help him in this area of sexual pleasure and satisfaction…
Getty Images
What You Should Do: Massage His Scrotum
The reason why it’s so painful for a man to be hit “in the balls” (which means in his scrotum which is where his testicles are) is because that is a place that houses many nerve endings which makes it a highly sensitive place. Sexually,that’s a good thing because not only is it a powerful erogenous zone, but it can also boost a man’s chances of ejaculating. When it comes to multiple orgasms, you can gently knead them like dough while you’re giving him oral sex (because who said that multiple orgasms only had to come via intercourse?)
Or say that you’re in the missionary position; right as he’s about to ejaculate (ask him if he’s someone who doesn’t “announce it" in some way on his own), gently tug on his scrotum or roll his testicles in the palm of one of your hands as if it were a pair of dice. Between the sensation of already climaxing coupled with the feeling of his scrotum being erotically touched can be enough for him to have more than one orgasm — whether he was prepared to have one or not!
What You Should Do: Stimulate His Nipples
I actually once read that somewhere around 50 percent of men consider their nipples to be a bona fide erogenous zone. From what I’ve researched, a part of the reason is that the brain lights up whenever nipples are stimulated in a similar way that our genitalia is.
And so, by engaging in nipple play with your partner — lightly stroking his nipples, licking them, kissing them, etc.— not only does it help to intensify his orgasms, but it can also (potentially) shorten his refractory period which makes it easier for him to climax back-to-back.
What You Should Do: Get into Some Sensory Deprivation
If you’ve never heard ofsensory deprivation before, in the context ofsexual activity, it’s when you’re intentional about pulling one of the senses — sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing — out of the sexual experience in order to increase the other four. For example, if you put a blindfold on your partner, if he can’t see what you’re doing, that increases his stimuli in other areas which can make it easier for him to climax and have more than one orgasm at a time. Something else that’s cool about sensory deprivation is it encourages people to focus more on anticipation than overthinking which is always highly beneficial in the sexual pleasure department.
What You Should Do: Talk Dirty to Him
Dirty talking has all sorts of benefits. It appeals to the sense of hearing. It can let you and your partner both know what you want and need more of in a very sensual and seductive way. It can also help to distract your partner as you try to relax him for things like aprostate massage. Listen,it’s been said, for quite some time now, that a man’s G-spot is found in and around his prostate which includes the area in between his scrotum and his anus along with an inch or two within his anus opening.
And so, if you’re telling him how much he turns you on while you’ve got a lubed-up finger wandering around there, there’s no tellinghow many orgasms you’ll be able to give him — ones that he probably isn’t anywhere close to being prepared for. Straight up.
What You Should Do: Embrace His Penis. Fully.
The more you embrace his penis, the more relaxed he’ll feel around you. So, try giving him an impromptu tantric lingam massage. Stroke his shaft with some coconut oil while going down on him. Have some ice in your mouth during oral sex. With the thumb and forefinger of each hand, gently stroke his penis in an up-and-down motion. Use a little peppermint oil mixed with a carrier oil like sweet almond or grapeseed to massage his shaft and scrotum as the menthol from the peppermint provides a tingling sensation.
Bottom line, take in everything about his penis and enjoy yourself while doing so. Chances are, the more creative you get, the more you’ll both discover stimulation points that he never even knew that he had — and when new territory is discovered, that means new peaks of sexual pleasure can be reached too!
Have fun, chile. BOTH OF YOU.
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