March is a turning point and is when massive changes begin to occur. This is the time of the year when there is an inner awakening for more, and the curiosity that blooms opens new doors. In the stars, March is the month that ushers in Eclipse Season, when two eclipses occur back-to-back, and the transformations that come with it are inevitable. However, you are the leader of your life and are the one who can guide and embrace these changes as they come. March is the month to turn a new page, gain clarity, and get inspired.
March 2024 Monthly Horoscopes: The Month Ahead
Pisces Season opens the month for us, and being in this water sign energy always brings more emotions to the surface than usual. With Saturn also being in Pisces right now, there is a balance needed between what we are flowing forward with and what needs to be taken more seriously and grounded in. Mercury enters Aries on March 9, directing our will, passions, and integrity to where our most powerful ideas are flowing right now. Mercury in Aries tends to speak before thinking, however, and communication should be handled with a little more tender love and care for the time being. Be careful with impulsion, and write down your ideas and insights as they come.
On March 10, there is a New Moon in Pisces, and this New Moon is beckoning us to move forward with our creative passions, interests, and spirituality. What have you been inspired to learn more about or dive deeper into? This New Moon is a good time to set your inventions for any creative projects and also for where you want to see the magic grow in your relationships and love life.
Venus enters Pisces the following day on Mar. 11, and this is bringing in some sweet, romantic, and dreamy energy into matters of the heart until Apr. 5.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19 this year, and we enter a time of fire sign energy as we close out the month. Aries Season is when the changes and transformations begin to light up the sky, and when things get moving for the collective. Mars enters Pisces on Mar. 22, and Mars in this sign is motivated toward love, creativity, and closure. Mars in Pisces is healing energy and is a good time to let go of anything heavy that has been weighing you down. With the Sun in Aries and Mars in Pisces, this time is all about feeling things through, not letting change overwhelm you, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
At the end of the month, we have the first eclipse of 2024. This eclipse will be a Penumbral Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra and will be on Mar. 25. This is the Worm Moon of the year and the time when powerful changes often take place. Remember, though, Eclipses tend to shake things up and make things unsettled for a bit before their permanence takes shape. Since this Full Moon is happening in Libra, the transformations now are typically ones to do with love, relationships, finances, and inner and outer harmony.
March is an awakening and opening to a new way of seeing the world, love, and the manifestations you want to occur.
Read for your sun and rising sign below.
1.ARIES
ARIESKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is your month to let go and rewrite your story, Aries. You are moving through culminations and new beginnings in March, and it’s best to go with the flow with the changes of the month. Emotions are high, and you are especially sensitive right now, so give yourself grace as you move through this time. Mercury enters your sign on Mar. 9, and this is helping you find the clarity and inspiration you have been looking for.
The New Moon on Mar. 10 is a chance to see the gifts of what has been let go from your life. You are processing your emotions this month and wiping away the pain of the past. Aries Season officially begins on Mar. 19, and you are ready to shine and create a new day. The end of the month is an enlightening time for you and once the eclipse occurs on Mar. 25, your heart is filled with gratitude for the love and new beginnings that are flowing in.
2.TAURUS
TAURUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is awakening your inner magic, Taurus. This is the time to stay open to the mysteries of life and to give yourself a second chance at a new beginning. It’s about looking at your life, where your happiness is, and where you want to continue to grow. Friendships and your community are playing a key role in your life this month, and the New Moon on Mar. 10 is when you are going to see some of your intentions here manifest for you.
Venus, your ruling planet and the planet of love, moves into your 11th house of friendships, hopes, and dreams on Mar. 11, and this is the energy that you need to be in right now. Your heart is feeling the magic that comes from opening up and believing in yourself this month. On Mar. 19, Aries Season begins, and the sun moves into the very bottom of your chart, a preparation phase before your season begins. As the month comes to a close, allow yourself a little more time to rest, get grounded, and enjoy where things are.
3.GEMINI
GEMINIKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour strength is needed this month as you overcome some mountains you have been climbing, Gemini. This is a month to turn the focus inward and to heal and regain your strength from there. Mercury, your ruling planet, moves into an area of your chart at the beginning of March that brings your dreams and inspirations into focus. You are thinking a lot about the future this month, and this energy is helping you move through the closures you are experiencing.
Once the Sun moves into Aries on Mar. 19, the energy is more favorable for you and you are no longer feeling stuck in your current circumstances. Obstacles move away, and you have more opportunities for happiness. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening at the end of the month is happening in a fellow air sign, Libra, and is bringing some love and romantic energy into your life, and you are growing flowers from the weeds as March ends.
4.CANCER
CANCERKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is about getting grounded, moving forward, and taking the lessons along with the blessings, Cancer. This is a month of growth, and also a time when you are finding your inner peace and settling more into the present moment. You flow well with the energy of the month with Pisces Season here, and the Sun is in your 9th house of adventure. This is a good month to think big picture, connect with nature, and honor the magic and wisdom within you.
The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening at the end of the month is shaking things up for you when it comes to the home, family, and foundations, and will be bringing things here into focus. Emotionally, you may be feeling some highs and lows this month, and this eclipse is helping you find a safe space to renew. Before the month ends, Vesta enters your sign, and this energy reminds you to tend to your emotions and the sacred fire within you. In March, you are breaking free.
5.LEO
LEOKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of honoring your free spirit, Leo. The pace is picking up for you in March, and there is a lot of happiness and opportunity surrounding you. You are feeling liberated in being your authentic self, and you are shining in the new spaces you are finding yourself in. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is awakening something within you emotionally, and you are moving through a rebirth in your life right now, one where you are seeing more of your inner power that has always been there.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19, and the Sun moves into a fellow fire sign, further heightening the positive energy you are moving through this month. You are setting your intentions and seeing dreams coming true. Before the month ends, a Lunar Eclipse is happening in your 3rd house of communication, and you are allowing who you are to come to the surface as you express yourself. You are letting go of insecurities and allowing yourself to take up space this month.
6.VIRGO
VIRGOKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of reflection, setting your intentions, and focusing on the bigger picture, Virgo. You are remaining patient with what is coming to light for you, and seeking inspiration and empowerment in the present moment. Most of the energy in March is happening in your 7th house of love and partnerships, and you are finding your balance between your needs and those you are close to. The New Moon on Mar. 10 is a good time to set your intentions for love and to expect a blessing here.
Venus and Mars both enter your house of love this month as well, and there is something to say about loving yourself just as much as you yearn for the love of others. March is reminding you where it all starts, and showing you the beauty within and around you. The Lunar Eclipse happening on Mar. 23 is a time of closure for you financially, and you are ending a journey here as you prepare for another, more lucrative one.
7.LIBRA
LIBRAKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are one of the power players of the month, Libra, with a Lunar Eclipse happening in your sign at the end of March- the first one of the year. This is a month of moving from closures into a new door, and you are finding yourself in the middle of these transformations that are occurring. The Sun is in your 6th house of health, daily routine, and well-being for most of the month, and this is a good time to focus on what is going to be the healthiest path for you moving forward.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19, and the Sun moves into your opposite sign. This energy brings in a time when the focus is more on your partnerships and the love you want to see grow here. On Mar. 25, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign, and you end the month walking through a big change in your life. You may need some time to process and regroup at the end of March as old dreams are fulfilled and new ones are fueling you forward.
8.SCORPIO
SCORPIOKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is bringing romance into your life, Scorpio, and is a time when you are leading yourself forward and letting go of the past. You are the creator of your world, and you are creating from the heart right now. With the Sun in your 5th house and a New Moon here on the 10th, this is a month to express yourself, get creative with life, and believe in a miracle in love. You deserve to receive the love and dedication you give, and it’s time to open up to allow it in.
Mars, your ruling planet, moves into your 5th house on Mar. 22 as well, fueling even more of your passion and intentions into being more confident and expressing who you are to the world. This is the month to get out of your shell and shine your light. The eclipse happening at the end of March is a big time of closure for you as you let go of what hasn’t been working out, heal, and breathe a little easier in the process.
9.SAGITTARIUS
SAGITTARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of adventure, empowerment, and divine purpose, Sagittarius. You are feeling inspired by the new doors that are opening for you now, and you are walking into them diligently. With Mercury moving into a fellow fire sign at the beginning of the month, you are moving into March feeling inspired, loved, and full of hope. This is an exciting time for you, and one where adventure is calling.
On Mar. 25, a Lunar Eclipse is occurring in your 11th house of friendship, community, and manifestation, and you are coming full circle with matters here. You are seeing some changes in who you surround yourself with at the end of the month, but you are also opening up to more of what is possible for you here. Pallas goes retrograde in your sign on the 29th, and this energy is reminding you to trust your inner wisdom and to think things through thoroughly this month.
10.CAPRICORN
CAPRICORNKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is about making yourself proud, Capricorn. You are focused on the dreams you want to be fulfilled and the responsibilities you need to tend to, and your priorities are intact. The Sun is in your 3rd house of communication for most of the month, and this is a time filled with clarity, perspective, and hope. You are ready to take action on the things you have been pondering over, and you are in a good headspace to do so right now.
On Mar. 19, the energy moves from the mind and into the home, and the second half of March is more about tending to your needs at home, taking care of your emotional world, connecting with family or loved ones, and building your foundations. On Mar. 25, a Lunar Eclipse is occurring in your house of career and reputation, and you are seeing old projects come full circle, and congratulations are in order. The end of March is shaping things for you moving forward and setting the tone for the changes that will be happening within your career and professional ventures this year.
11.AQUARIUS
AQUARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about acceptance and letting go, Aquarius. The year has just begun, but you have already been moving through more changes and opportunities at clarity than most, and March is no different. With the energy in a financial area of your chart this month, this is a good time to plan for the future financially, to let go of any unhealthy habits here, and to surrender to the good.
The New Moon on Mar. 10 is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions for abundance, and this month is about focusing on the fact that you are worthy of the things you seek in life. The Lunar Eclipse on Mar. 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling enlightened and hopeful as the month ends. This eclipse is closing a door of stagnation in your life and opening a new one of excitement and adventure. You’ll find that the gifts of your life come from acceptance this month.
12.PISCES
PISCESKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive, beautiful. With Pisces Season underway and the Sun in your 1st house of self, you are moving through March feeling empowered, loved, and divinely guided. A lot of the astrological transits of the month are happening in your sign, so emotions are also running high right now. The New Moon in Pisces on Mar. 10 is a time to set intentions for your future and to go where you feel guided towards.
Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign on Mar. 11, and relationship matters move through a time of healing this month. Love is flowing toward you, and you are feeling a positive transformation from it. Pisces Season ends on Mar. 19, but Mars enters your sign on Mar. 22, and you are still feeling motivated by your personal goals and dreams. This is a month to trust yourself and where things are moving and to be confident in the life you are leading right now. You deserve love and respect, and it’s coming your way right now, Pisces.
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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