

Eclipse Season this year is about focusing on where you are directing your energy, and what new developments taking place are helping your personal and relationship growth overall. This first Eclipse Season of the year is a ground-breaking time for relationships, and we are seeing where more balance may be needed here. Eclipse Season is when the eclipses of the year happen back-to-back, first at the beginning of the year and then in the second half of the year.
This first Eclipse Season of 2024 will be in the signs of Aries and Libra, who are sister signs in Astrology. This combination of Eclipses will highlight how you are balancing your personal goals with those of your relationships and where life goes when you are leading from the passion of your heart.
What The First Eclipse Season of 2024 Means in Astrology
Eclipses are always an eye-opening time, and they tend to bring massive changes and wake-up calls. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25 is one of those times, and this Eclipse is all about letting go of the past in love. During a Lunar Eclipse, we are presented with a type of clarity that changes the direction of things, and with this eclipse happening in Libra, a lot of this has to do with relationships and finances. We are presented with an opportunity to learn through love, and to also gain a deeper understanding of what is needed in our partnerships, financial world, and sense of peace in life.
During this eclipse, ask yourself where can you bring more balance into your one-on-one relationships, and where can you let go more. This eclipse will be the second part of the Libra Eclipse from October 14, 2023, so think back to what was happening then, to see where some final clarity is beaming on such matters.
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on April 8, brings new energy into our lives, but the stability of said matters can be somewhat shaky for the time being, especially since this eclipse will be happening in feisty Aries. With this eclipse aligning with the North Node and Chiron who are currently in Aries, however, new opportunities and spaces for healing are presenting themselves overall. Look out for the synchronicity during this eclipse, and expect the unexpected. Solar Eclipses have the power to reinvigorate you and your life, and you can tap into its powerful energy by moving forward with a new beginning and not shying away from change.
This Eclipse Season is a reminder that you are worthy of success, freedom, clarity, and love, and it’s time to unburden yourself from the fears and restrictions towards that. With Mercury in retrograde during this Eclipse Season, things can feel intense during this time, and it will be showcasing what better ways you can navigate and understand both the mind and the heart. Remember, it’s all about having balance right now, so do the things you feel are going to keep you in that space.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below, to see how this Eclipse Season will illuminate your life.
Eclipse Season 2024 Horoscope Predictions for Each Zodiac Sign
ARIES
This Eclipse Season is even more significant for you, Aries, being that they are happening in your sister sign, and later in your sign. The lunar eclipse in March is an awakening time for you, and it’s awakening your inspiration, creativity, and passion for life and love. You are having some eye-opening moments right now and are seeing the clear vision of your future and the past you are leaving behind. Your guidance of the Lunar Eclipse in Libra is to let go of making things harder than they need to be on the path to your dreams and focus on how you can make your visions a reality.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season will be in your sign on April 8, and this Solar Eclipse is another one of those enlightening experiences for you. You are getting the answers you have been looking for and are setting yourself free from the things that restrict your sense of self. You are not playing small right now, and you are truly creating from the heart. Remember to take things one day at a time during these eclipses, however, as Mercury will also be retrograde in your sign in the midst of it all. Things are shaking up for you right now, but you are the one in charge of it at the end of the day.
TAURUS
Your intuition is your most powerful asset during this Eclipse Season, Taurus. The Full Moon Eclipse happening at the end of March will highlight that truth to you and bring things to the surface that remind you of how far you have come. This eclipse is a time to take care of yourself, focus on your inner and outer well-being, and be around the people who inspire you.
You are leading the way forward right now, but also need some time to truly grasp what you are leaving behind in the process and what you want to dedicate yourself and your time to now.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries, occurring on April 8, will be in your 12th house of closure, healing, dreams, and spirituality, and you are seeing the gifts of creating more space and freedom in your life. This is a time of gaining some powerful insights and opening up to new perspectives that allow you to heal. You are starting from square one in many ways right now but are moving forward towards more progress nonetheless. The mountains you have climbed are behind you now, and it’s time to expect more ease and to believe that things can be more effortless for you in life.
GEMINI
Balance is needed during this Eclipse Season, Gemini. The first eclipse happening on March 25 will be occurring in a fellow air sign, Libra, and you are positively aligning with the energy. This is a Lunar Eclipse of seeing dreams come to fruition and feeling a deep sense of fulfillment in your life. With this Full Moon Eclipse highlighting your 5th house of romance, you are seeing some pleasant occurrences in love bloom for you now. You have had high expectations and have not wavered on what your heart wants, and you are seeing the success that comes from having this type of faith in yourself and the universe.
On April 8, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Aries, reminding you that sometimes letting go means moving forward. You have gained a lot of clarity on where the love is in your life and where it isn’t, and you are looking to move away from those people or experiences who leave you feeling more drained than loved. There are some surprises in store for you now, and you are working on creating more space to let them in. Focus on your community, your friendships, your soulmates, and how you can be more vulnerable or honest with others about how you are feeling in those spaces.
CANCER
This Eclipse Season for you, is about getting into a good headspace, Cancer. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is highlighting what thoughts and perspectives have been limiting your personal growth, and which ones encourage. You are letting go of fears, self-sabotage, and overthinking what needs to be trusted more. With this eclipse happening in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations, this is where shake-ups will be happening and where you may need to work on letting go more. This is a good time to journal your thoughts, meditate, and get some extra rest.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries happening at the beginning of April will be a time of passion, finding a new direction, and overall you are connecting the dots right now. Your career, goals, and professional world are all highlighted during this eclipse, and this is where new beginnings are more likely for you now. Remember to give yourself more compassion and self-trust when it comes to the dreams you want to see through and know that sometimes all it takes is making that first step towards them to feel better about everything.
LEO
It’s time to take a pause and to regroup, Leo. This Eclipse Season is giving you just that, and some more patience will be needed during this time. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is giving you the space to rethink some future plans and goals. You may feel like things are being put on hold right now, and that’s because more information needs to come to the surface. Mercury will be retrograde during this Eclipse Season and it’s not the time to rush what needs more growth.
Know that when plans change, a better path is being opened up to you, oftentimes even better than expected.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries on April 8 is about making some important decisions for your future. You are being presented with a few different opportunities and new doors opening right now, and you are being reminded to not only make decisions from the head but from the heart, too. Focus on where you are feeling called and pulled towards rather than what you think people are expecting of you. It’s time to broaden your horizons and focus on the big picture of it all so that you can make the decisions that are not only going to benefit you right now but your future as well.
VIRGO
This Eclipse Season is a big time of change for your financial world, Virgo. You are balancing the abundance you are bringing in, with the future abundance you are investing in, and this is the time to sort through this area of your life. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 will be bringing things full circle for you financially, and you are receiving your success and due rewards now. This is an abundant Full Moon for you, and one when you are embracing the support from your peers and support systems and are focused on what your personal growth can do for the growth of your relationships as well.
The Solar Eclipse, however, may need more of your patience and grace as you are juggling a lot during this time, Virgo. This New Moon is overall another chance at a new beginning for you and your personal sense of abundance, but it’s also reminding you to not take on more than you are prepared to. Make sure you are thoroughly looking over expenses, contracts, and the budget this Eclipse Season, as you may have to spend more than you were expecting. Overall, there’s a chance to put yourself in a better or more stable position financially during this eclipse, and you are letting go of not valuing your time, energy, and skill as much as you should.
LIBRA
A time of love, connection, and clarity is upon you, Libra. This Eclipse Season is beginning in your sign, with a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25. You have been focused a lot on your goals in love while also trying to put yourself first more here, and you are finding the perfect balance in the middle right now. With this eclipse in your sign, you are moving through a metamorphosis this Eclipse Season, and it’s bringing forth the clarity of what you need and want in love. You are seeing clearly what path is going to lead you to more of the things you want here, and are letting go of worrying about whether you will receive them or not.
The Solar Eclipse in April is happening in your opposite sign, and you are experiencing a positive renewal in love. You are coming together with another, and the changes that are happening in your life right now are overall beneficial to your relationships and your love life. What you were once daydreaming about and putting the feelers out there for is manifesting for you now, and it’s all about embarking on a new journey of romance. Life is unfolding for you and showing you how good things can get for you when you bridge that gap that separates you from another, Libra.
SCORPIO
This is a rejuvenating Eclipse Season for you, Scorpio. You are feeling empowered with the changes that are flowing through your life now, and they are the ones you have been planning for and expecting. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is a big letting go for you, and you are letting go of the fears that have been keeping you away from showing up, expressing yourself as you wish to, and claiming the abundance that is meant to be yours.
You are proving to yourself that you deserve the good that’s in your life and on its way to you, and you are ready to let go of it, also feeling like you have to do it all on your own.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in your 6th house of health, work, and daily lifestyle, and you are seeing the benefits that come from putting your well-being first. This is a good time for feeling balanced in life and like what you have been putting out there, is coming back to you in positive ways. You are financially moving through a time of success this Eclipse Season overall, and gifts are coming in for you now, Scorpio. Believe in the impossible, and nourish your life from the inside out.
SAGITTARIUS
There is a lot to grasp this Eclipse Season, Sagittarius. You are being guided towards relaxing more and taking a step back to assess your situation and the path ahead of you. With the Lunar Eclipse on March 25 happening in your 11th house of community, hopes, dreams, and friendships, this is a good time to reach out to the people you feel seen and supported by. Know that when you are going through something heavy, sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help so that you don’t burn yourself out trying to solve something on your own that you don’t understand. This eclipse is all about letting go of what doesn’t serve you or your personal growth and gaining new wisdom, Sag.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, happening in fellow fire sign Aries, is another moment of needing some extra strength. Through the growth you have been through, you put yourself on a whole new playing field in life, but with what has also come, some more challenges you may not have been expecting. This Eclipse is asking you to confront where you may be feeling some guilt or shame in pursuing your passions or interests and how you can clear the way for yourself more here. Overall, this Eclipse Season is showing you how capable you truly are.
CAPRICORN
You are moving through a time of massive breakthroughs, Capricorn. You are generally in good spirits during this Eclipse Season, as the growth you are experiencing now is a magical development for you. The Lunar Eclipse in Libra is one when you are trusting your intuition and letting go of some projects or goals that don’t align with the skills and interests you see in yourself now. Your professional world is being highlighted with this eclipse, and you could be changing jobs, letting go of an old dream, or overall rebuilding in this area of your life. This eclipse is asking you to trust yourself more and to check in on how you have been feeling about your progress and how you want to present yourself and show up in the world.
The eclipse happening on April 8 is a breath of fresh air for you and one when you are experiencing some happy outcomes and occurrences. You are overall feeling more stable and sure of yourself and where you are headed right now, and a lot of this growth is coming through for you in the home. Through the goals you were letting go of and the goals you were recreating for yourself, you find yourself in a new environment now, and there is something bright and fulfilling about where you are at the end of this Eclipse Season.
AQUARIUS
This Eclipse Season for you, Aquarius, is a time to gain clarity of the mind and of the heart. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling the synergy in your life during this time. This eclipse is highlighting your 9th house of adventure and perspective- and it’s a good time to gain some right now. You are overall letting your heart lead the way, and are finding yourself in exciting company and spaces. This eclipse is bringing in a fresh start for you in love and is also giving you clarity on where you have truly healed here.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in the sign of Aries on April 8, and this is a time when more rest, self-love, and self-care are needed. You need some time to truly relax your mind and give yourself the freedom to not think about anything heavy for the time being. You have recognized how important it is to be in a good headspace when you are moving through life and your experiences, and for you, oftentimes, that means getting some time away for yourself and healing within that alone time. Overall, this Eclipse Season is easing the mind and awakening the heart.
PISCES
This Eclipse Season is a big deal for your partnerships in life, Pisces. You are navigating the changes you are experiencing here, but also the breakthroughs you have been able to make happen for yourself here as well. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is turning things around for you for the better and you are moving through a time of development when it comes to your commitments and where you have been putting your dedication and energy. Life is coming full circle, and you are receiving the support and good fortune that you deserve, Pisces.
Let go of feeling like you have to prove yourself, and trust that you are exactly where you should be and that you have done the work.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, is another groundbreaking time for you, only this eclipse is more focused on your financial world and creating a safe environment for your income to grow. You could be receiving a raise, promotion, new job opportunity, or overall the clarity needed to create a better financial present and future for yourself. Everything is lining up for you this Eclipse Season, and it’s all about moving with change and trusting the divine timing of your life right now, Pisces.
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Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
We All Mess Up Sometimes. But Can You Trust A Friend's Apology?
Although what I mostly deal with when it comes to the clients that I have is romantic relationships, there are definitely times when other topics come up. For instance, recently, someone was talking to me about some drama that they were going through with a friend of theirs. Emotionally, they felt like they were in a bit of a bind because while, on one hand, they had been friends with this individual for over 15 years at this point, on the other, there were certain things that they had done, more than once, that were starting to take its toll.
When I asked my client if they had clearly articulated their feelings, concerns, and boundaries to that individual, they admitted that they hadn’t.
From their perspective, their friend should simply know what they should and shouldn’t do. Yeah, one day, I’m going to write an article about how a lot of relationships could be spared so much drama if we all stopped automatically expecting others to think, act, and even love like we do. Anyway, my client did pause for a moment; then she shared that there was one thing, in particular, that she had told her friend that she didn’t appreciate and her friend just kept on doing it — so much to the point where it was starting to feel not only intentional but disrespectful too. In response to that, here’s how the rest of the dialogue between us went down:
Me: “Did she apologize?”
Her: “I mean, after I about lost it and told her that I was sick of her sh-t, she did. I don’t know if I can trust it, though.”
Me: “Has the action happened again since?”
Her: “The last time was only a few weeks ago. It’s too soon to tell. I know I’m starting to put distance between us, though. I’m not sure if I want to be friends with her anymore at this point.”
*le sigh* What to do, what to freakin’ do, when you’ve got a friend in your life who does something that bothers, offends, hurts, or harms you (because those are all different things, y’all), they apologize and you’re not exactly sure what to do with their apology. That is something that I’m pretty sure that all of us have gone through, probably more than once. If you definitely have, and there have been times when it’s left you feeling stumped, let’s unpack it all a bit — just so you’ll know how to move, with complete peace of mind, for the sake of your friendship and, most importantly, your peace of mind.
People with Regrets Apologize (and Every Self-Aware Human Should Have Regrets)
Sometime last year, I was talking to a friend of mine about his spouse. As he was raving about all of the things that he adores about her, something that he said caused my eyes to get semi-big: “I mean, she doesn’t believe in apologizing which can get on my nerves but that’s about it.” Whew, chile. Also, another article for another time: It’s very hard for a marriage to function, in a healthy way, if both people aren’t willing to apologize and forgive because there are going to be countless times when doing one or the other is going to be extremely necessary. Why?
Because we all make mistakes and sometimes poor decisions (and no, those two things aren’t the same either) must be corrected with an apology. Not only that but we all also experience times when someone needs to apologize to us and, because of the first thing that I said, we should forgive them and LET. IT. GO.
Yeah, those “I don’t apologize” people? Talk about folks who I don’t trust because that typically either means that they have way too much pride going on or they suck and taking personal accountability for their actions — and neither of those things makes it easy when it comes to trying to have a solid relationship with someone else. Honestly, the only kind of folks who “cause me to pause” more are the ones who claim that they don’t have any regrets in life. Truly…what in the world are you talking about?
If you’ve been rocking with me on this platform for a while now, you already know that I totally and completely loathe the saying, “I don’t regret anything” (check out “Why Regret Might Not Always Be A Bad Thing”). SMDH. Some statements, I just think that they have been popular for so long that people repeat them without really thinking about what they actually mean.
When it comes to regret, if you look up its definition, you should see the word “remorse” somewhere in there and remorse means “deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction” — and if you NEVER feel this way, that low-key sounds like either you think that you never do anything wrong (which is a completely delusional mindset) or you don’t care to “right your wrongs” whenever you do them (which makes you a pretty unsafe individual to be around).
And why am I laying down all of this foundation? Because, before getting into how to discern someone’s apology, it’s important to first surround yourself with individuals who even get that they should apologize from time to time in the first place — not because you think so but because they think so. I’m telling you, it can spare you a ton of time and potential heartbreak to follow this tip.
I say that because I ended a relationship about six years ago, mostly because the person reached out to me to help them out with something, and when I wrote out a full email about something they did that was highly offensive and would result in my not obliging them — not only did they not apologize, they didn’t even acknowledge what I said. What kind of makes it “comically worse” (utter audacity-wise) is the few times that I’ve seen them since, they’ve acted like nothing even happened. Then I had to think back to other times when I’ve brought hurt feelings or offenses to their attention and how they would deflect, play the victim, or change the subject (bookmark that).
Hmph. We talk about narcissism a lot both on and offline — uh-huh, be careful about those narcissistic friends out here. They always want to be the center of attention. They constantly put their own needs first. They have a hard time forgiving and yet think that you should dismiss whatever they do that’s wrong (or damaging). I could go on and on about those jokers. For now, I’ll just bring this point to a close by saying that if you want to trust someone’s apology, you need to trust that they care enough to apologize in the first place. And lawd, won’t that preach?
Next point.
Karma Is Attached to Apologies
One day, I’m also going to write an article about how much forgiveness tends to be weaponized — and how absolutely insane that is. Meaning, so many people think that they deserve an apology for all of the things that they do while others don’t — and that’s not really how forgiveness works. If you’re looking at it from a Scriptural standpoint, the Good Book tells us that if you want to be right with God, you’ve got to forgive other people (Matthew 6:14-15). Science says that if you want to be healthy, it’s wise to forgive as well. Adding to both of these things, since karma (which is basically just reaping what you sow) doesn’t discriminate, if you want to be forgiven in the future, you should forgive others in the present.
And that’s what I mean when I say that karma is attached to apologies. When it comes to some completely bold and If-I-were-a-different-type-of-person-things-would’ve-gone-very-differently things that have happened to me throughout the years — what has kept things peaceful and put me on a faster track to healing is choosing to forgive others; especially when they make a point to apologize (check out “How I Learned To Forgive People In My Life Who Weren't Sorry”).
Honestly, a part of the reason why I can do closure so well is because I can accept an apology. What I mean by that is I think a lot of times, we stay in “hamster wheel relationships” (same problems, no new solutions) or we’re so super devastated (because we’re not just sad, we also beat ourselves up with guilt and yes, regret) if something should happen to someone who we used to be in relationship with and it’s partly because we don’t accept apologies.
Me? I never want to be so high and mighty in my mindset that I think I can gamble my relationship with God or my health simply because I want someone to think that what they do and ask forgiveness doesn’t deserve mercy while I’m somewhere thinking that I should be pardoned for all of my mess. I don’t know about y’all but I need God’s forgiveness, plus, it feels good — cleansing even — whenever people who I’ve hurt or harmed have forgiven me and so I give forgiveness in order to receive it — because every single human needs to receive it.
Next point.
A Sincere Apology Doesn't Deflect, Justify or Play the Victim. It Takes Full Ownership.
Now that we’ve talked about why you should only befriend people who forgive and apologize and how you shouldn’t be in relationships if you don’t know how to forgive (and apologize) — let’s talk about what a sincere apology should even look like.
Years ago, I had a friend who violated a very clear boundary of mine. She kept trying to push something on me that I didn’t want to do until one day, she did it anyway. And boy, was I pissed. When she saw how angry I was, she called me crying and, although she did say that she was sorry, she also went into all kinds of reasons why she thought that she was the bigger victim. The more that I listened, it was like she wanted me to apologize to her for violating me (whew, chile). Yeah, don’t trust those kinds of apologies because they are chocked full of manipulation.
And this is where we start to tiptoe into the difference between accepting an apology and trusting one.
Since she literally said, “I’m so sorry,” I accepted her apology because, although I think that my discernment is pretty keen and she was trying to manipulate matters, at the end of the day, who am I to brush off her efforts to acknowledge what she did? Did I trust her apology, though? Absolutely not because to trust something, you’ve gotta be confident in it, and anyone who decides to make what they did to you totally about them? They don’t really get what an apology is all about.
Hmph. I grew up with people who would apologize and also deflect (shift blame, gaslight, go into semi-denial mode), justify poor behavior (make excuses, follow their apology with some long ass story) and/or play the victim (act like they are more hurt than you are) in the midst of their apologies and those types of individuals typically only apologize in order to “move on” from what they’ve done — not to really make sure that you are okay about what had transpired.
And those people? Whether they are too selfish, not self-aware enough or they’re simply ignorant about what a sincere apology looks like, if those three factors come into play, their apology can be accepted yet not really trusted in the sense of you believing that they will do their best to not repeat the action again. How could you TRUST it if they don’t fully OWN it? Make sense?
Next point.
Accepting Apologies and Actually Trusting Them Are Quite Different
If you know that someday, you will need to apologize to someone, you will get again why I say that none of us should really refuse someone else’s apology. Another way of looking at this is if someone apologizes and you don’t accept it, it’s basically saying, “I don’t acknowledge that you acknowledge what you did that you are trying to take responsibility for” — and honestly, what kind of sense does that make?
Because while you are thinking that not accepting their apology is harming them, it’s really only hurting you because you are choosing to hold onto what their apology has actually released them from. Plus, y’all know that I am pretty word-literal and, at the end of the day, accepting an apology simply means that 1) you are responding to what they are saying and 2) you are receiving the effort. Over and out.
Now TRUSTING an apology? Again, that is something entirely different. I’ll give you another example. Everyone who knows me (check out “5 Signs You Really Know A Person”) knows that if I come out to a big function, that’s love — DEEP LOVE. Back when I was an entertainment journalist, I had my fill of stuff like that; these days, low-key is how I get down. Anyway, one time, a friend invited me out to a crowded and pretty important function. After a bit of convincing, I made the personal request of not wanting to go along with someone else in their world who I am not fond of (who they are now not even friends with because they discovered on their own just how shady the person can be).
My friend assured me that it wouldn’t be an issue — only for me to get to the place where we were meeting up and my friend then telling me on the way to the venue that the person would be joining us. When I tell you that we literally had the conversation about that not happening just a few hours before? Chile. My response? I left before we headed there and went back home. I am BIG on my boundaries being respected and I’m not going to be set up to be put in a position to somehow be the bad guy if I’m not kee-keeing with someone who I didn’t want to be around, intimately, in the first place. Plus, my friend needed to fully enjoy her night without worrying about what the energy was going to be like.
My friend owned that it was “bad business” to even move like that — that it was thoughtless and a bit manipulative on her part because a part of her thought that if I was pushed to the wall on the matter, I would just get over it. She apologized. I accepted it. However, I didn’t just accept it, I trusted it because, a few weeks later, she invited me to another event, out of state, all expenses paid.
Listen, if you know me, you know that it wasn’t the free trip that “moved me” because my favorite place is always gonna be at home. LOL. It’s that my friend didn’t just acknowledge what she did, she also took it upon herself to make amends — and that’s what a real apology should always include.
And what is amends? It’s “reparation or compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind; recompense.” That said, when we really get the weight and magnitude of something that we’ve done to another person, it’s never enough to just toss a flippant “My bad” in their direction — it’s important to put forth the effort to set things right.
I got that my friend understood how much effort it took for me to do the initial outing with her in the first place because she took a few steps up from that and turned another event into a girls' trip — just us. That was a couple of years ago now. We’ve not had an issue in that lane since.
Your friend who hurt you and apologized? One way to know if you can trust the apology to the point where you know that it’s okay to move on fully from the matter is if they are willing, on their own, to make amends. If, in their own way, they ask you, “How can I make this right?” If you get that from them, I really recommend that you give them a chance because not only does it seem like their apology is heartfelt, but they also want to help you to heal from what they did — and at the end of the day, because none of us can change the past, just “own” our part in it, there’s not much more that a human can do.
Plus, people who go so far as to make amends, they typically also put forth the effort to try and change their behavior (or not repeat the action). And again, what more can you really ask for from any fallible individual (and we are all that)…right?
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No one is perfect. We’re all going to mess up. If you really get that, when a friend apologizes to you, let both of yourselves off of the hook and accept it. And during the apology, if they take full ownership which includes making amends, trust your friend enough to have faith that they will try to not hurt you, in that way, again.
Accept is about recognizing.
Trusting is about putting your confidence in something.
When it comes to apologies, specifically, I hope it’s easier to now know the difference.
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