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Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man
Whew. Okay, so anyone who grew up “churched” and has never heard of what I’m about to share is probably already a little shook when it comes to the title of this piece. Because oh, believe you me, I went to Christian schools along with church every Sabbath back in the day and I think that it was at least once every few months that 666 and the mark of the beast (which comes out of Revelation 13:18 of the Bible) would come up in some sort of conversation.
This time, though, it has nothing to do with Scripture or end times theories nor is it a slight on a man (like him being evil or something). It’s actually speaking of, what seems to be a constant, relentless, and ever-growing-in-popularity desire that many women have when it comes to the kind of guy that they want to have a long-term relationship with — and it just happens to be that the three top traits all have the number “6” in it.
And actually, because I know many of the things that six symbolizes, the 6-6-6 man is fascinating because the number represents things like physically appealing, high standards, domestic happiness, and stability (hmm…).
So, whether you already know about this kind of man and want him, or you’ve never heard of him before and you want to learn more, let’s do some unpacking, shall we? Because, like most things in life, a 6-6-6 man is more than just a catchphrase or notion, chile.
6 Feet Tall
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Two things that I’m pretty big on are stats and studies. A part of the reason is that, while a lot of people think that their feelings are facts, stats and studies are rooted in more than emotions that can change on a dime — there’s research, surveys, and hardcore intel involved. So, when it comes to physicality, it’s interesting that while a lot of women are consumed with height, a lot of men are consumed with “width” and neither wants to compromise much. Meanwhile, the stats reveal that only roughly 15 percent of men are over 6 ft and the average dress size in America right now is somewhere between 16-18. So, while you can want what you want all day long, you’ve also got to take into account what is actually available.
And how do I know that 6 ft. stands (pun intended) out for women? Because any time I’m out in the YouTube streets watching videos about what women find to be desirable, I can almost say it along with them that he must be at least 6’ tall. Some say it’s because a tall man makes them feel safe and secure. Others say that they don’t find short men attractive. Still, others don’t really know why they actually need a guy who is six inches taller towering over them, if they’re say only 5’4” in height themselves.
Me? I’m 5’6” and most of the men I’ve dated (or sex-ed) have been basketball player-tall. I did some soul searching and I think a part of it is because I was molested by a family member when I was younger (and much shorter) and so I was subconsciously programmed to think that as I got taller, the men in my life should be too. Once I factored that into what I thought was merely my preference, the desire ceased to be quite as rigid. Not to mention the fact that I’ve spent many years with super tall men who were shorter on character.
I mean, if ONLY 15 PERCENT of men are that tall, am I really going to automatically cancel someone who is 5’9” or 5’10”? How ridiculous would that be? Hmph. According to two Black women, VERY.
One of them is a Black influencer who has a YouTube channel called Only One Jess. She got married last year to what appears to be a very remarkable young man. She’s 5’1” and he’s 5’3” and she regularly brings up that, if she had stayed hung up on his height, she definitely would’ve missed out — BIG TIME. The other woman is someone, who, I wish I had kept the video because she PREACHED PREACHED when she said this about her around 5’7” man: “I had a father to look up to while growing up, so I don’t need my husband to overcompensate.”
BOOM! 10 TIMES! I hope y’all caught all-a-dat too!
6 Inches Long
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Over the years, I’ve written quite a few pieces for this platform on the topic of penises including “Apparently, A Certain Penis Size Can Make Us Orgasm The Most (Chile)” (it’s eight inches, by the way) and “Sex Hacks For Different Kinds Of Penises (You Heard Me Right).” However, the one that probably deserves the most attention when it comes to this particular topic is “BDE: Please Let The ‘It Needs To Be Huge’ Myth Go.” If you haven’t checked it out (yet), it’s about a wife I know who has a husband with a lot to offer in the genitalia department, who actually has a pretty dysfunctional sex life with him (still) and a huge (no pun intended) reason is because his ego is far bigger than his package and his performance is less than stellar as a direct result.
As a marriage life coach for well over 15 years at this point, I’ve heard literally countless stories from women who’ve said that a big penis isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — that oftentimes we just say that we want that because we’ve been conditioned to; that a smaller size is just fine when your partner is attentive, selfless and confident.
Besides, I will continue to say until ALL of the cows come home that the average size penis 5.5” erect, our vaginas expand to 4.75” when aroused and our most intense nerve endings are 2” inside of it. Moral of the story? You can get stimulated just fine with a smaller size. Science says so.
In fact, the reason why many women struggle with experiencing a vaginal (penetration) orgasm isn’t because a man’s penis isn’t large enough, it’s either because their clitoris is too far away from their vagina for both to be stimulated by penetration (which no woman has any control over) or they’re not in a sex position where their clitoris can be stimulated during intercourse (the spoon position immediately comes to mind).
When it comes to my past sexual dealings, I surpassed the TMI mark a long time ago (check out “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners” for instance). So, I’ll be the first to say that I’ve had some really large, umm, men in my lifetime and sometimes all I got out of the deal was a lot of bladder and yeast infections. In fact, the guy who gave me the most vaginal orgasms actually had one of the most average penises out of everyone. So, please don’t be out here resolved that only 9” (or hell, even the popular 8”) can please you. It’s one of the greatest lies ever told.
6 Figures in the Bank Account
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Okay, so from what I’ve read and researched, somewhere around 33 percent of Americans currently make six figures (only nine percent earn a million on an annual basis). In Black households, 18 percent earn six figures. So, as far as availability and options go, that’s pretty much up with the height thing that I was talking about earlier.
Now to add some real perspective to this (beyond some women just parroting what they hear other women say), if the goal is to live a comfortable life, where you live plays a huge role in that (so does if you have and/or desire to have children). But let’s say that you’re only factoring in yourself and your future husband for the next 2-3 years or so. If you lived in Alabama, you’d currently need around $60,000 a year to be better-than-good (in the $60K range is the average for a lot of southern states), around $92,000 to live in Maryland, and — surprise, surprise — close to six figures to live in California and New York.
However, if you’re working too and you plan on contributing to the household expenses (and if you’re not…why not? It’s a fair question), then a man could still make, say, 60 or even 70 percent of what we see here and still hold things down, in all of these states, pretty damn well.
My point? When it comes to “requiring” a man — especially a Black man when only 18 percent of Black people even qualify for this particular “6” — ask yourself why that’s such a big deal to you. How much of it has to do with what you’ve heard on the internet or some ridiculous reality show? How much of it is rooted in some semi-unrealistic expectations? And most importantly, how much of it is such a big deal that you’d pass up a great man who makes $55,000 just so you can have your “6”…a “6” who just might not ever come? #justsaying
What a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
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“I’ve been a six-figure earner since I was in my late 20s. I’m well aware of the 6-6-6 phenomenon and I personally think it’s comedy because a lot of women who say they want that kind of man have no clue what his standards are — or if they do, they say that we’re full of ourselves. I’m not gonna lie — we have a lot of events where we want to show our woman off and so, there’s just a certain beauty standard that’s required."
"There are a lot of women who want us and so our patience level is pretty short because we’re not going to argue with one woman when we can find another who is far more accommodating. But the main thing that women miss about us is in order to make a lot of money, we have to do a lot of work. We just don’t have the kind of time to be doing the type of bulls — t that they see on television — three dates a week, traveling all of the time, constantly going on shopping sprees, and talking on the phone. In fact, a lot of us would be considered ‘cheap’ because we’re putting more money into investments than trying to woo a woman."
"That’s why a lot of women who’ve dated us see us as assh—es. It took a lot of work and focus on self to get where we are, especially when we’re Black. We’re very calculated on who gets to reap the benefits of that — and when.” - Dean, 45, in a long-term relationship
What a Woman with a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
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“My husband is 6’3,” I won’t share his penis size because it’s none of your business; just know that I qualify to answer this question. And as far as how much he earns, it’s around $170,000. When we first got married, that wasn’t the case. He was still in school. And although I won’t lie and say that I don’t enjoy not having to worry about how the lights are going to stay on or if we can take a vacation every summer, it all comes at a price.”
“Back when my husband was making less money, he had more time. He could also be more spontaneous. I don’t know what makes people think that [being] financially secure means more leisure time — unless you’re wealthy, rarely is that the case. I can also tell you for a fact that holding him down while he was on the ‘broker side’ of things is why he’s so willing to give to me now. Men who make a lot of money have a difficult time trusting which is why it can be hard to get them to marry you once they’ve already ‘made it.'”
“I just think that women need to be very mature, very secure, and extremely willing to make some sacrifices as far as time and expectations. You might have more money to play around with but sometimes that comes at the expense of not having him as much as you did before his tax bracket switched up on you.” - Wendell, 39, married 14 years
Trends Are Not (Automatically or Necessarily) Standards
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Uh-huh. I already know. Some of y’all just read all of this and were like, “If I can’t have a 6-6-6, I’ll just stay single then.” I mean, if that’s what you want to put out into the universe, it’s your world, and the best of luck to you. I just wanted to make sure that you realized the reality of the combo and what comes along with it.
Besides, don’t let social media — hell, media in general — have you out here believing that just because they push a particular “good man narrative” down our throats that it’s actually a standard. Plenty of famous people tank their relationships on a daily basis…and many of them had a 6-6-6 man (again…just saying).
Bottom line, having preferences is fine. Just try not to be so rigid about what you think a good man is that you miss up on the right one. One who might be a bit shorter than 6 ft, whose penis might be shy of 6 inches and who may make five figures (or may have some but not all three) — but is a blue ribbon winner in standards that aren’t current trends.
Amen? Amen.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
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Nicki Minaj’s Appearance At The ‘Barbie’ Premiere Is A Moment For The Culture
Nicki Minaj is opening up about the significance of her involvement in the upcoming Barbie film, highlighting how the brand has impacted her career as she attended the Los Angeles premiere of the highly anticipated project.
From the beginning of Minaj's rap career, which dates back to 2007 following the release of her first mixtape Playtime Is Over, the star coined the nickname Barbie after the Mattel doll. Minaj's love for the toy and the brand's representation ran so deep that she continued to incorporate the Barbie persona in practically almost every project, including the cover of Playtime Is Over, where the “Queen” rapper appeared as a figurine trapped inside a box. Over time, the emcee nicknamed her fanbase The Barbz and created numerous titled tracks containing the word Barbie. The list includes "Barbie Tingz," "Barbie Drip," "Barbie Dreams," and the newly released "Barbie World" featuring Ice Spice as a part of the Barbie soundtrack.
During a July interview with Entertainment Tonight, Minaj explained why she considered being a part of the Barbie soundtrack a full circle moment and her initial thoughts about "Barbie World."
Nicki On Being A Part Of The Barbie Project
In the discussion, the 40-year-old revealed she was excited to lend her voice to the soundtrack because of her admiration for the Barbie brand.
"I'm so excited to be here and be a part of this entire moment. I'm glad that they thought of me because I'm excited just like everybody else is excited to see this movie", she said. "I know I've been saying Barbie my whole career. So it's a very full circle moment."
Further into the interview, Minaj shared that before making "Barbie World" --a sample of Aqua's 1997 hit "Barbie Girl"-- she was given several songs that she didn't vibe with. Still, after hearing the Aqua sample, Minaj came up with the idea to incorporate some drums to provide the track with a more urban feel.
"There were a couple of songs that I didn't love, and this Barbie sample, I loved it. I just wanted it to have a dope drum, and so the one that they sent me, I loved. I jumped on it right away," she stated.
Nicki Gives Thanks To “Barbie” Director And Mattel
Immediately following the premiere, Minaj took to Twitter to show her appreciation to Mattel, Barbie director Greta Gerwig, and the film's soundtrack producers Mark Ronson and Kevin Weaver for including her in this monumental occasion.
"Thx, Forbes & s/o all the incredibly talented artists/producers on the #BarbieMovie soundtrack. Mark Ronson, Kev Weaver, Greta Gerwig, Mattel," she said while mentioning how much it meant to her and the Barbz. "You guys could have chosen anyone to be a part of this project. Glad you knew how much it would mean to the Barbz & me. So Grateful."
The live-action Barbie follows the adventures of the figurine as she adjusts to real life after getting kicked out of Barbie land for her imperfections. The film stars Margot Robbie, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Alexandra Shipp, America Ferrera, Issa Rae, and many others
Barbie is set to make its theatrical debut on July 21.
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