Eclipse Season this year is about focusing on where you are directing your energy, and what new developments taking place are helping your personal and relationship growth overall. This first Eclipse Season of the year is a ground-breaking time for relationships, and we are seeing where more balance may be needed here. Eclipse Season is when the eclipses of the year happen back-to-back, first at the beginning of the year and then in the second half of the year.
This first Eclipse Season of 2024 will be in the signs of Aries and Libra, who are sister signs in Astrology. This combination of Eclipses will highlight how you are balancing your personal goals with those of your relationships and where life goes when you are leading from the passion of your heart.
What The First Eclipse Season of 2024 Means in Astrology
Eclipses are always an eye-opening time, and they tend to bring massive changes and wake-up calls. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25 is one of those times, and this Eclipse is all about letting go of the past in love. During a Lunar Eclipse, we are presented with a type of clarity that changes the direction of things, and with this eclipse happening in Libra, a lot of this has to do with relationships and finances. We are presented with an opportunity to learn through love, and to also gain a deeper understanding of what is needed in our partnerships, financial world, and sense of peace in life.
During this eclipse, ask yourself where can you bring more balance into your one-on-one relationships, and where can you let go more. This eclipse will be the second part of the Libra Eclipse from October 14, 2023, so think back to what was happening then, to see where some final clarity is beaming on such matters.
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on April 8, brings new energy into our lives, but the stability of said matters can be somewhat shaky for the time being, especially since this eclipse will be happening in feisty Aries. With this eclipse aligning with the North Node and Chiron who are currently in Aries, however, new opportunities and spaces for healing are presenting themselves overall. Look out for the synchronicity during this eclipse, and expect the unexpected. Solar Eclipses have the power to reinvigorate you and your life, and you can tap into its powerful energy by moving forward with a new beginning and not shying away from change.
This Eclipse Season is a reminder that you are worthy of success, freedom, clarity, and love, and it’s time to unburden yourself from the fears and restrictions towards that. With Mercury in retrograde during this Eclipse Season, things can feel intense during this time, and it will be showcasing what better ways you can navigate and understand both the mind and the heart. Remember, it’s all about having balance right now, so do the things you feel are going to keep you in that space.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below, to see how this Eclipse Season will illuminate your life.
Eclipse Season 2024 Horoscope Predictions for Each Zodiac Sign
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanARIES
This Eclipse Season is even more significant for you, Aries, being that they are happening in your sister sign, and later in your sign. The lunar eclipse in March is an awakening time for you, and it’s awakening your inspiration, creativity, and passion for life and love. You are having some eye-opening moments right now and are seeing the clear vision of your future and the past you are leaving behind. Your guidance of the Lunar Eclipse in Libra is to let go of making things harder than they need to be on the path to your dreams and focus on how you can make your visions a reality.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season will be in your sign on April 8, and this Solar Eclipse is another one of those enlightening experiences for you. You are getting the answers you have been looking for and are setting yourself free from the things that restrict your sense of self. You are not playing small right now, and you are truly creating from the heart. Remember to take things one day at a time during these eclipses, however, as Mercury will also be retrograde in your sign in the midst of it all. Things are shaking up for you right now, but you are the one in charge of it at the end of the day.
TAURUS
Your intuition is your most powerful asset during this Eclipse Season, Taurus. The Full Moon Eclipse happening at the end of March will highlight that truth to you and bring things to the surface that remind you of how far you have come. This eclipse is a time to take care of yourself, focus on your inner and outer well-being, and be around the people who inspire you.
You are leading the way forward right now, but also need some time to truly grasp what you are leaving behind in the process and what you want to dedicate yourself and your time to now.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries, occurring on April 8, will be in your 12th house of closure, healing, dreams, and spirituality, and you are seeing the gifts of creating more space and freedom in your life. This is a time of gaining some powerful insights and opening up to new perspectives that allow you to heal. You are starting from square one in many ways right now but are moving forward towards more progress nonetheless. The mountains you have climbed are behind you now, and it’s time to expect more ease and to believe that things can be more effortless for you in life.
GEMINI
Balance is needed during this Eclipse Season, Gemini. The first eclipse happening on March 25 will be occurring in a fellow air sign, Libra, and you are positively aligning with the energy. This is a Lunar Eclipse of seeing dreams come to fruition and feeling a deep sense of fulfillment in your life. With this Full Moon Eclipse highlighting your 5th house of romance, you are seeing some pleasant occurrences in love bloom for you now. You have had high expectations and have not wavered on what your heart wants, and you are seeing the success that comes from having this type of faith in yourself and the universe.
On April 8, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Aries, reminding you that sometimes letting go means moving forward. You have gained a lot of clarity on where the love is in your life and where it isn’t, and you are looking to move away from those people or experiences who leave you feeling more drained than loved. There are some surprises in store for you now, and you are working on creating more space to let them in. Focus on your community, your friendships, your soulmates, and how you can be more vulnerable or honest with others about how you are feeling in those spaces.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanCANCER
This Eclipse Season for you, is about getting into a good headspace, Cancer. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is highlighting what thoughts and perspectives have been limiting your personal growth, and which ones encourage. You are letting go of fears, self-sabotage, and overthinking what needs to be trusted more. With this eclipse happening in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations, this is where shake-ups will be happening and where you may need to work on letting go more. This is a good time to journal your thoughts, meditate, and get some extra rest.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries happening at the beginning of April will be a time of passion, finding a new direction, and overall you are connecting the dots right now. Your career, goals, and professional world are all highlighted during this eclipse, and this is where new beginnings are more likely for you now. Remember to give yourself more compassion and self-trust when it comes to the dreams you want to see through and know that sometimes all it takes is making that first step towards them to feel better about everything.
LEO
It’s time to take a pause and to regroup, Leo. This Eclipse Season is giving you just that, and some more patience will be needed during this time. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is giving you the space to rethink some future plans and goals. You may feel like things are being put on hold right now, and that’s because more information needs to come to the surface. Mercury will be retrograde during this Eclipse Season and it’s not the time to rush what needs more growth.
Know that when plans change, a better path is being opened up to you, oftentimes even better than expected.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries on April 8 is about making some important decisions for your future. You are being presented with a few different opportunities and new doors opening right now, and you are being reminded to not only make decisions from the head but from the heart, too. Focus on where you are feeling called and pulled towards rather than what you think people are expecting of you. It’s time to broaden your horizons and focus on the big picture of it all so that you can make the decisions that are not only going to benefit you right now but your future as well.
VIRGO
This Eclipse Season is a big time of change for your financial world, Virgo. You are balancing the abundance you are bringing in, with the future abundance you are investing in, and this is the time to sort through this area of your life. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 will be bringing things full circle for you financially, and you are receiving your success and due rewards now. This is an abundant Full Moon for you, and one when you are embracing the support from your peers and support systems and are focused on what your personal growth can do for the growth of your relationships as well.
The Solar Eclipse, however, may need more of your patience and grace as you are juggling a lot during this time, Virgo. This New Moon is overall another chance at a new beginning for you and your personal sense of abundance, but it’s also reminding you to not take on more than you are prepared to. Make sure you are thoroughly looking over expenses, contracts, and the budget this Eclipse Season, as you may have to spend more than you were expecting. Overall, there’s a chance to put yourself in a better or more stable position financially during this eclipse, and you are letting go of not valuing your time, energy, and skill as much as you should.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanLIBRA
A time of love, connection, and clarity is upon you, Libra. This Eclipse Season is beginning in your sign, with a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25. You have been focused a lot on your goals in love while also trying to put yourself first more here, and you are finding the perfect balance in the middle right now. With this eclipse in your sign, you are moving through a metamorphosis this Eclipse Season, and it’s bringing forth the clarity of what you need and want in love. You are seeing clearly what path is going to lead you to more of the things you want here, and are letting go of worrying about whether you will receive them or not.
The Solar Eclipse in April is happening in your opposite sign, and you are experiencing a positive renewal in love. You are coming together with another, and the changes that are happening in your life right now are overall beneficial to your relationships and your love life. What you were once daydreaming about and putting the feelers out there for is manifesting for you now, and it’s all about embarking on a new journey of romance. Life is unfolding for you and showing you how good things can get for you when you bridge that gap that separates you from another, Libra.
SCORPIO
This is a rejuvenating Eclipse Season for you, Scorpio. You are feeling empowered with the changes that are flowing through your life now, and they are the ones you have been planning for and expecting. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is a big letting go for you, and you are letting go of the fears that have been keeping you away from showing up, expressing yourself as you wish to, and claiming the abundance that is meant to be yours.
You are proving to yourself that you deserve the good that’s in your life and on its way to you, and you are ready to let go of it, also feeling like you have to do it all on your own.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in your 6th house of health, work, and daily lifestyle, and you are seeing the benefits that come from putting your well-being first. This is a good time for feeling balanced in life and like what you have been putting out there, is coming back to you in positive ways. You are financially moving through a time of success this Eclipse Season overall, and gifts are coming in for you now, Scorpio. Believe in the impossible, and nourish your life from the inside out.
SAGITTARIUS
There is a lot to grasp this Eclipse Season, Sagittarius. You are being guided towards relaxing more and taking a step back to assess your situation and the path ahead of you. With the Lunar Eclipse on March 25 happening in your 11th house of community, hopes, dreams, and friendships, this is a good time to reach out to the people you feel seen and supported by. Know that when you are going through something heavy, sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help so that you don’t burn yourself out trying to solve something on your own that you don’t understand. This eclipse is all about letting go of what doesn’t serve you or your personal growth and gaining new wisdom, Sag.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, happening in fellow fire sign Aries, is another moment of needing some extra strength. Through the growth you have been through, you put yourself on a whole new playing field in life, but with what has also come, some more challenges you may not have been expecting. This Eclipse is asking you to confront where you may be feeling some guilt or shame in pursuing your passions or interests and how you can clear the way for yourself more here. Overall, this Eclipse Season is showing you how capable you truly are.
Getty/Katie Czerwinski via CosmopolitanCAPRICORN
You are moving through a time of massive breakthroughs, Capricorn. You are generally in good spirits during this Eclipse Season, as the growth you are experiencing now is a magical development for you. The Lunar Eclipse in Libra is one when you are trusting your intuition and letting go of some projects or goals that don’t align with the skills and interests you see in yourself now. Your professional world is being highlighted with this eclipse, and you could be changing jobs, letting go of an old dream, or overall rebuilding in this area of your life. This eclipse is asking you to trust yourself more and to check in on how you have been feeling about your progress and how you want to present yourself and show up in the world.
The eclipse happening on April 8 is a breath of fresh air for you and one when you are experiencing some happy outcomes and occurrences. You are overall feeling more stable and sure of yourself and where you are headed right now, and a lot of this growth is coming through for you in the home. Through the goals you were letting go of and the goals you were recreating for yourself, you find yourself in a new environment now, and there is something bright and fulfilling about where you are at the end of this Eclipse Season.
AQUARIUS
This Eclipse Season for you, Aquarius, is a time to gain clarity of the mind and of the heart. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling the synergy in your life during this time. This eclipse is highlighting your 9th house of adventure and perspective- and it’s a good time to gain some right now. You are overall letting your heart lead the way, and are finding yourself in exciting company and spaces. This eclipse is bringing in a fresh start for you in love and is also giving you clarity on where you have truly healed here.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in the sign of Aries on April 8, and this is a time when more rest, self-love, and self-care are needed. You need some time to truly relax your mind and give yourself the freedom to not think about anything heavy for the time being. You have recognized how important it is to be in a good headspace when you are moving through life and your experiences, and for you, oftentimes, that means getting some time away for yourself and healing within that alone time. Overall, this Eclipse Season is easing the mind and awakening the heart.
PISCES
This Eclipse Season is a big deal for your partnerships in life, Pisces. You are navigating the changes you are experiencing here, but also the breakthroughs you have been able to make happen for yourself here as well. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is turning things around for you for the better and you are moving through a time of development when it comes to your commitments and where you have been putting your dedication and energy. Life is coming full circle, and you are receiving the support and good fortune that you deserve, Pisces.
Let go of feeling like you have to prove yourself, and trust that you are exactly where you should be and that you have done the work.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, is another groundbreaking time for you, only this eclipse is more focused on your financial world and creating a safe environment for your income to grow. You could be receiving a raise, promotion, new job opportunity, or overall the clarity needed to create a better financial present and future for yourself. Everything is lining up for you this Eclipse Season, and it’s all about moving with change and trusting the divine timing of your life right now, Pisces.
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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