Goodness. If you ever want to feel like you’re in the middle of a melancholy rom-com, only it’s happening via articles on the internet, put “the one who got away” in the search field of your favorite search engine.
You will see everything from Bored Panda’s “33 Older Adults Share Their Feelings On ‘The One Who Got Away’ Now That Time Has Passed” and BuzzFeed’s “’I Still Think Of Her Daily’: Older Adults Are Sharing If They Still Have Feelings For ‘The One Who Got Away’” to data which says that close to half of Americans have not only thought about an old crush or past love, they’ve also used the internet to look them up (uh-huh, y’all be careful out here: “Baby Bliss Is Ruined After MIL Gleefully Reveals Her Son Went On A Date With An Ex Before Wedding”).
Hmph. It makes me think of when one of my now good friends found out, a couple of years after my first book came out, that he actually did some mild producing for one of the characters in it — my own first love. As I shared some of the story, Shannon started singing a throwback R&B hit that he co-wrote, co-produced, and also recorded before Heather Headley did. The title? “In My Mind” (Heather’s version ishere; Shannon’s version ishere). As life would have it, it was in heavy rotation during the time of that very conversation.
Damn. My book came out in 2004. 2006 is when Heather’s cover of “In My Mind” was released. And you know what? In freakin’ 2023 (November, to be exact), I ran into my first love…again. The brief backstory is we both had separately debated going to a certain restaurant for a quick bite and then saw each other — and being that he has never married and neither have I (because only a guy who hasn’t been married before is personally an option for me), there we went…again…running in the flowers of nostalgia while trying to see if we can figure something out. *le sigh* Then add tax.
Oh, the one who got away. If that’s really how you truly feel about someone, when they do come back around into your space, it can be quite a doozy. And if/when it happens, you may be worrying yourself sick trying to figure out what to do about it. Listen, all I can do is tell you what I’ve learned from my own personal experience and observation of other people’s journeys. Here’s hoping that, by asking yourself the following questions, you, your mind and heart (and body, if it comes to that) will find the answers that you seek.
*P.S. Where’s your journal at? You’re gonna need it.*
Did He “Come Back” — or Did You Go Looking for Him?
GiphySomething that I used to say often is, “If you look ‘him’ up on Facebook, it’s you; however, if you run into him in Kroger, it’s God.” What I mean by that is, whoever you consider to be the one who got away, I’m not sure how “meant to be” it is if you’re only reconnected to him now because you went and sought him out. And no, I’m not coming from the angle that “men are hunters” (I hate that saying) and women should never pursue men (Ruth and Esther in Scripture did; it turned out fine for them — check out “6 Things Church Taught You About Dating That Weren't (Fully) Biblical”).
What I’m saying is when folks shift out of your life and seem to be fine with not reconnecting, there’s got to be a reason for that because they have the same internet that you do. Shoot, even if it’s not something as serious as they’re married if they do think of you fondly on some level, if they really wanted to reconnect, why haven’t they tried?
And here’s the thing — I know someone who once was almost desperate to become someone’s wife. So much, in fact, that she decided to seek out a college ex (sex buddy). He replied to her, eventually they did reconnect —, and although they are “together,” it’s been well over a decade and no ring. Clearly, he wasn’t looking for her or a wife and, as a result of her reaching out, somehow, she convinced herself to settle; now she’s out here believing that she doesn’t want to be married either.
Could it have played out the same way if he had reached out first? Eh, possibly. However, what I have noticed (and no, this isn’t gender-specific) is that oftentimes, the individual who makes the first step is more inclined to compromise than the one who is on the receiving end. That said, this guy wasn’t acting like the human version of Kermit sipping tea while looking out of the window as he wondered how to find her…she did that. And so, since she wanted him, she was more willing to do what he wanted in order to remain in contact with each other. SMDH.
Moral to the story on this one: When two people want the same thing, it’s all good. Oh, but when you convince yourself that settling is better than nothing at all, as writer Maureen Dowd once said, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” INDEED.
All I’m saying when it comes to this particular question is if he got away and he also isn’t taking the initiative to come back, consider why — shoot, why not even ask him? ‘Cause listen, if you took the time to reach out, you might as well get as much intel as possible on the front end. Clearly, he was fine not finding you. Why is that the case?
Did He “Come Back” — or Did the Universe Orchestrate a “Chance” Meeting?
GiphySome of the close-to-day-ones might recall reading another article that I penned for the platform entitled, “Why Every Woman Should Go On A 'Get Your Heart Pieces Back' Tour.” In it, I actually mention my first love and how, back in 2015, we had a run-in. I also said that, after that season, I was over him. Okay, but now it’s 2024, and I just told you that he almost got me AGAIN. I think for me, it’s two-fold. One, he’s never been married, and two, I never go looking for him. It’s always grocery stores or restaurants — random-ish, and honestly, I think because I am such a “signs and wonders” kind of person that is what brings me to a state of “cause for pause.”
Anyway, I think we all can agree that, on a lot of levels, on so many levels, I am an open book. The particulars on this, though, I’m going to keep to myself because I’m still processing some of it (and some stuff is still just my business). I will say this, though: If you are someone who recently had a run-in with your own the-one-who-got-away and you had absolutely nothing to do with initiating it, there are some quotes that I want to encourage you to keep in mind:
“Even if we have ourselves so fully convinced that we are on the right track because we desperately want to believe that the specific direction we have chosen is the ‘correct one,’ if the universe disagrees with our choices, it will not be shy in telling us so.” (Miya Yamanouchi)
“A coincidence will always be a coincidence until its significance is realized.” (Angie Corbett-Kuiper)
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” (Joseph Campbell)
Does the run-in automatically mean that the two of you are destined to be together? I’m not saying that. What I will say is when you factor in all that happens in the world and how going left instead of right or being 30 minutes earlier or later could’ve prevented you from seeing “him”— yes, the universe is trying to show you something.
Even beyond the guy, spend some time pondering what that could be…, which brings me to the third question.
Is He to Be Your Lover Again — or Is He Just to Show You Something?
GiphyListen, just because I am a marriage life coach and I write on relationships for a living, that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own accountability crew (we ALL need that). The thing that I adore about mine is most of them are just as “straight no chaser” as I am. And so, whenever my first love comes back up, they are always on some, “Can one of you get married already, either to each other or someone else, so we can wrap this thing up?” — and chile, when this last encounter happened, due to some other details of the story, my male and female friends alike were like, “You can’t make this sh-t up!” (you really can’t).
That’s why, I have learned the hard way, to not make some heavy declarations (anymore) until everything really is all said and done.
At the same time, what I will share is because my first love has a tendency to run into me, pour it on thick, and then simmer, this time, I did some real soul-searching to figure out how much of the emotional acrobatics (on my part) was about 19-year-old Shellie still needing to get some things off of her chest more the woman who I am now still being “in love” with him. And boy, was that needed.
Back in 2015, I was pretty much just on, “So, are we getting married or what?!” This time, it was more like, “Why do you keep affecting me this way?” I mean, I get some of why: when your first love is pretty much your first everything, and you are also his first love, the bond is…significant. At the same time, though, because my question was different in 2023, the answers were too.
And the reality is there were still some things that “19 me” needed to work out so that she could catch up to who I am now. And on this side of realizing that, I get just how necessary that was because, first love, some other guy or no (future) husband at all — for myself, I needed to address and respond to some things…within myself.
So yeah, that’s another thing to ask about your own situation: before automatically romanticizing everything and assuming that the two of you are destined to be, ask if he’s to be your now-lover or now-teacher. You’d be amazed how that one question alone can shed a lot of light on what is actually transpiring in this season of your life.
Are the Two of You Supposed to Be Together — or Is There Just Some Closure/Clarity That’s Needed?
Giphy(Side note on this GIF. Erica Ash played the hell out of her role on Survivor's Remorse. RIP, sis.)
There’s another guy from my “get your heart piece back” tour that I reconnected with that I am SO GLAD that I did. One reason is that I carried a lot of, let’s go with the word “burden” of feeling that I made some poor choices (especially when it came to bad timing) that really did cause him to be someone who I filed as “letting him get away.” Another reason is that the way that things ended between us was so abrupt that I always had some questions (he basically called me up one day, said I was like “crack” to him, that he didn’t want to be addicted, and so we couldn’t talk anymore).
And still, another reason is I felt like although things ended, we never really got closure — and yes, something that I am a huge fan of is closure…because without it, sometimes doors are left ajar or cracked and that’s how things can creep right back on in.
The first conversation we had? It was for hours, well into the night. We missed each other. We reminisced about some things. And we caught up. However, the catch-up already let me know that our past needed to stay there because he was divorced, and again, divorced guys aren’t an option to/for me. Some other conversations that followed also brought some closure because, as much as we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company and, quite frankly, as great as the sex used to be (LAWD!), we were two very different people now.
Our values are different. Our experiences have caused us to take different forks on the road. In this season, we desire very different things. You know what, though? I never would’ve known all of that had we not spoken. Yes, some closure was needed, so that I could look back with a clearer and fuller picture.
So yes, that’s why I think another question that should be asked is, if 'the one who got away' being back in your life at this time is so you two can be together, or it’s so that you two can get some real clarity and closure so that the title of 'the one who got away' can be put to rest? Because when it comes to the guy that I just spoke of?
For me, now he’s just a fine-ass man who I had a great connection with once upon a time and who is thriving on his side of the world as I do the same. He didn’t “get away” anymore. He’s gone because…that’s how it should be.
What About Him Being in Your Life, As You Are Now, Would Enhance It?
GiphyI am very word-specific and word-literal. That’s why I want you to notice how, with this question, I didn’t say “change” or “improve” — I said ENHANCE. To enhance is “to raise to a higher degree.” Some synonyms for enhance include build-up, strengthen, increase, add to, and complement (check out “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life”).
You know, several years ago, I was on an interesting journey with a guy, and I’ll never forget what two of our friends (who were married at the time) said when they found out: “Shellie, I see how you’d be good for him. We’re not sure how he’d be good for you, though.” HMPH. Y’all better listen to folks who care about you when they speak into your life — there’s no telling what they can spare you from if you just choose to listen.
And that’s the thing — the one who got away, even if he was awesome for you back in the day, even if it’s totally your fault that he got away the first time…who are you now? Would bringing him back into your world, on any level, enhance it? Would it really? And, if you do truly still care about him, would you being back in his life enhance his as well?
Because there really is such a big difference between being good to someone vs. being good for them (check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?”) and mature folks? They don’t want the former if it doesn’t come with the latter — mutually so.
BONUS: Please Don’t Mistake Nostalgia for Love
GiphyI rememberonce reading that our brain actually craves nostalgia.Some research says that taking walks down memory lane can give us a greater sense of self, put us in better moods, and it can even play a pivotal role in our personal growth and development. And y’all, that may be why we sometimes get so caught up when it comes to (certain) men from our past. Nostalgia can be so seductive and even exhilarating that we might think it’s love when…it might just be an emotional high for the moment.
Real conversations. Slowing down. Praying, meditating, and journaling. Not being quick to jump into bed. Letting some people you trust hold you accountable. Being honest about what you need at this time in your life. Not living in the past if it’s at the expense of compromising your present or sacrificing your future. Encouraging “him” to do all of these same things for himself as well — this is what helps you to come to the realization of whether what you’re feeling is nostalgia, love, or both.
And if it is love, is it the kind of love that needs to have a commitment attached or a full and final release?
___
Yeah, whether it was bad timing, he was the wrong person, or a little bit of both, the thing about the one who got away is they did so for a reason. If they’re back, see what the PURPOSE is in that….so that if they stay, they stay for good. And if they go, they’re gone for good (preaching to the choir here, by the way).
Feel me? I certainly hope you do.
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Featured image by Adam Hester/Getty Images
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As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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Jupiter has been in Gemini since May 25, expanding our perspectives and building new bridges of connection, and will be in this curious air sign until June 9, 2025. This month, on Oct. 9, however, Jupiter goes retrograde until Feb. 4, 2025, and will be highlighting the importance of introspection, spiritual guidance, and clear communication. When Jupiter is in retrograde, luck is what you make it, and it’s all about perspective right now and seeing things with a more open-minded and positive outlook when you can.
On Oct. 11, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn after being retrograde since May, and this is good news for feeling empowered, resilient, and confident in the life changes you are moving through right now. Pluto direct lifts previous restrictions and enhances a sense of greater freedom and strength. Mercury enters Scorpio a few days later, on Oct. 13, and Mercury in Scorpio has a distinct intensity to matters of the mind.
Mercury will be in this water sign until Nov. 2, and communication should be handled with more care and consideration rather than emotional impulsivity right now. Overall, with the Sun in romantic Libra and Mercury in emotional Scorpio, intimate and vulnerable conversations are taking place this month, creating a more solid ground for relationships to grow.
What October 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
In October, we have a Supermoon in Aries occurring on Oct. 17, and this is the Hunter’s Moon of the year. This Full Moon is about embracing who you are and where your life is today and finding gratitude in what surrounds you. Emotions are running high in mid-October, and this is the time to let go of previous limitations, find your ground, and get settled into where you want to be right now and where you feel empowered in your life.
Venus also enters Sagittarius on the day of the Supermoon until Nov. 11, and a certain excitement and freedom are being enhanced. It’s all about being yourself and allowing that energy to be a magnet for the type of love and connection you are looking for. Scorpio Season officially begins on Oct. 22, and we end the month with things getting even more exciting in love, dreams coming to fruition, and the full picture in clear view.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what the month has in store.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
October is about prioritizing your peace and finding balance, Aries. This is the month where you will need to be flexible and flow with the currents of change rather than fight them. The month begins with a New Moon Solar Eclipse in your 7th house of love, and you are seeing breakthroughs in romance. One-on-one partnerships are a key theme for you this month, as you find your balance between your needs and those of others.
Jupiter in Gemini goes retrograde on Oct. 9, and what this means for you is a change of perspective. Jupiter is currently guiding you toward reconnection and alignment in communication matters and reminding you that you deserve to have a voice and to be heard. On Oct. 17, we have a Supermoon in your sign, and you are turning the heat up as the month ends. This is your time to let go of what is not serving you, your goals, or your health, and to seek resolution of the heart.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
This is a hopeful month for you, Taurus. You are focused on manifesting your desires and feeling excited about what is possible for you ahead. You have overcome a lot this year, and right now you are feeling like a lot of that is finally behind you. With Jupiter officially retrograde from Oct. 9 until Feb. 4, 2025, you are overall thinking about your plans for the future, especially financially, and how you want to implement a new strategy or greater growth here.
On Oct. 17, a Supermoon in Libra is occurring, and this Moon will be flowing through your 12th house of closure. You are doing a lot of emotional processing right now and are seeing your life with a little more clarity. There is a lot to grasp at this time as you see a chapter close in your life. On the same day of the Supermoon, Venus moves into your 8th house of intimacy and transformation and you are going to be seeing a lot of changes and healing in love over the next few weeks.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
October is all about feeling content and at peace with where you are in the present, Gemini. This is a fruitful month for you, and you are overall feeling in tune with yourself and the energy in your life right now. The month begins with a Solar Eclipse in your 5th house of romance, and a lot of love is grabbing your attention. You are feeling confident and self-expressive, and you are being met with joy. Emotional receptivity is flowing through your world, and what you have intended for is blooming around you.
This month is also a reminder to nurture your seeds of intention. Jupiter going retrograde in your sign from Oct. 9 until Feb. 4, 2025, is your sign to slow it down, enjoy the present, and renew. If you can find peace within patience, this time will be therapeutic and enlightening. The Supermoon happening at the end of the month will show you some new insight into your friendships, community, hopes, and dreams, and there is a lot of gratitude to be felt this month.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
You are shining this month, Cancer. This is a month of claiming your success and being met with recognition, support, and new opportunities. At the beginning of the month, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse in an area of your life dealing with your home, family, foundations, and emotional stability. You could be moving during this time, experiencing a major change or breakthrough within family matters, or seeing new ways you want to build your close relationships and support systems.
With the Sun also moving through your 4th house of home and family for most of this month, you are focused on your stability and internal happiness in October. Before the month ends, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this Supermoon for you is all about achievement, success, and feeling supported in your life. Past work or accomplishments are coming full circle for you, and you have a good balance between your personal and professional life and are seeing growth in both areas this month.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
October is about settling into the happiness you have created for yourself, Leo. A sense of empowerment and self-confidence is what you are feeling this month, and you are moving forward boldly. The month begins with Jupiter going retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your hopes, dreams, purpose, and community, and you are getting a chance to see how some of your past intentions are coming to fruition for you now. You are getting a big break this month and feeling an overall immense growth in your life.
The Supermoon on Oct. 17 is happening in a fellow fire sign, and you are feeling adventurous right now. This isn’t the time to be impulsive, but you could experience a big relief by letting go a little more and not taking things too seriously. Venus will also be moving into your 5th house of love, happiness, and romance on the same day and you are entering a new journey in love as the month ends. The love you have discovered and rediscovered for yourself is a magnet for the success you are experiencing in October.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
It’s all coming together for you this month, Virgo. You are experiencing a sense of nostalgia as past dreams and intentions come into reality for you, and you get to enjoy not only how far you have come but, most importantly, where you are now. With a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your 2nd house of abundance right as the month begins, you could be experiencing a breakthrough in financial matters in October and are overall moving through a new beginning here, which will continue to be felt over the next six months.
Mercury, your planetary ruler, enters your house of communication in mid-October, and this is a blessing for your connections, communication channels, networking, and creative ideas. You are having some good conversations this month and are discovering new inspirations. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in Aries, which will give you time for reflection, healing, and emotional rejuvenation. You are ending October with a renewed vitality for life and an appreciation for all that was because it’s led you to where you are now.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
October is a significant month for you, Libra. Not only is it officially Libra Season, but we also have a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your sign. On Oct. 2, the Solar Eclipse in Libra will bring a major shift into your life, how you see yourself and your destiny. You are experiencing an inner awakening and are aligning with what feels powerful, authentic, and right for you. This is your month to be a little more selfish and to ask yourself what you need right now.
On Oct. 9, Jupiter in Gemini moves into retrograde motion and will be retrograde in an area of your chart aligned with travel, higher education, spirituality, and adventure. You could be tempted to take more risks now, but all actions should be thought out intentionally. Emotions are overall higher for you this month with an Eclipse happening in your sign so make sure you are thinking things through. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 3rd house of the mind, and your heart is looking for mental connection, harmony, and excitement moving into November.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
This month is about never losing sight of what is possible for you, Scorpio. You have come a long way and are experiencing a deep sense of accomplishment in October. The month begins with a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in an area of your life dealing with closure, healing, endings, and what’s hidden. You are gaining the lessons needed to move forward, and new gifts and opportunities are coming into your life through what you have let go of.
Jupiter goes retrograde the following week in your 8th house of transformation, and October is a big shake-up month for you, however, the things you have been wanting to experience are the energy you are entering now.
Mercury moves into your sign from Oct. 13 until Nov. 2, and you are moving through the rest of the month feeling clear-headed, inspired, and communicative. This is a good time to get your message or idea across to someone or to build bridges of connection. Scorpio Season officially begins on Oct. 22, and it’s your time to shine. This Scorpio Season, all eyes are on you, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
October is a month for communication and gaining inner clarity, Sagittarius. You are seeing the bigger picture right now and have confidence in what you know and believe in. The New Moon Solar Eclipse happening on Oct. 2 will be in your 11th house, meaning this is a powerful time for seeing your intentions come to fruition and a massive shift occurring in your life. This is about embracing new opportunities, trusting your instincts, and aligning with your truth.
On Oct. 17, we have a Supermoon in fellow fire sign Aries, and this Supermoon is guiding you towards love. You are experiencing a letting go of miscommunication or restriction in love and are moving into greater freedom, happiness, and connection in your romantic relationships. With Venus also moving into your sign on the same day until Nov. 11, the second half of the month focuses on compassion, love, and partnership, and you are feeling more confident in this area of your life right now.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
October is a new beginning in love, Capricorn. Even though there are a lot of responsibilities on your plate, as usual, you are still creating time for your relationships, and romance is taking on a new tone for you. The most significant astrological transit of the month is Pluto going direct in your sign after being in retrograde since May. What this means for you is a sense of feeling stronger, more confident, and more in tune with your inner power after feeling like that was taken away from you or more hidden.
In October, we have another Supermoon, which will be moving through your 4th house of home, foundations, stability, and family. This is bringing some renewal and change within the home, and a letting go of old ways of relating. You have been rebuilding a lot this year, and at the end of the month, this energy is coming full circle for you. Before October ends, Venus, the planet of love, enters your 12th house of closure, and you are ready for healing and reflection as you take some time to process all the changes you have been moving through and where your heart is now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
This is a fun month for you, Aquarius. You feel light-hearted and at ease with the energy flowing through the world, and your heart is open to new opportunities. On Oct. 9, Jupiter will be going retrograde in Gemini, and you are getting some space to reflect on your heart’s desires, and where you want to go from here in love and in terms of what makes you happy and passionate. Pluto goes direct a few days later on Oct. 11, and this will be encouraging and beneficial for your financial world over the next month as you embrace the abundance you deserve in life
On Oct. 17, we have a Supermoon in Aries occurring, and some of your past intentions and ideas are being recognized and supported now. This is a good time to receive the answers you have been looking for. Venus also moves into your 11th house on the same day, and you are experiencing a lot of emotional growth and happiness within your friendships and community. Look at who is around you at the end of the month, and how much some of your soul connections have really been there for you as of late.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
October is all about getting more rest, Pisces. Patience is necessary this month, as you need time to grasp all that has been and all that you want for yourself moving forward. The month starts intensely with a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your 8th house of transformation, and you are experiencing a lot of emotional changes right now. There is a sense of needing to find your way through all of the different energy that is presenting itself, and taking your emotional and physical well-being more seriously is necessary.
Jupiter goes retrograde in Gemini on Oct. 2, and this will be a journey of gaining new ground and finding healthy ways to emotionally regulate. You are on a journey of self-discovery and will be learning a lot through your relationships with the people closest to you. Venus enters your 10th house on Oct. 17, and this is when you will begin to see things pick up for you. You will leave October wanting to be more social as you have taken the time to rest and reflect at the beginning of the month.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole