I remember when I first got engaged thirteen years ago. There were exes and guys coming out of the woodwork, professing their so-called love or appreciation for me, and trying to "apologize" for how they treated me in the past. However, I wasn't the least bit concerned because I was focused on my future with my actual fiance, now husband, and I knew we were meant to be together. Nevertheless, it was a testament to the reality that sometimes and unfortunately: people only see the potential for what could've been when they see you doing well by yourself or with someone else.
Will Packer's new hit show, Put A Ring On It, on the OWN Network (airing Fridays at 10pm EST) seems to share similar sentiments - for both the women and the men. The basic premise of the show is to help couples determine if they're with the love of their life and if marriage is the next step with the help of Dr. Nicole LaBeach...and by going on dates with other people. Each couple engages in work to help them unpack their baggage and issues. As you can imagine, it really interesting witnessing their reactions, or lack thereof, when their partners start dating other people.
While these couples are still debating about taking the next step towards marriage, we wanted to talk to some real-life married men, and even a few who are engaged, and find out specifically what convinced them it was time to pop the question.*
Toby & Rynetta: Married for 17 years, Dated for two and half years
Courtesy of Toby and Rynetta
How He Proposed: Toby surprised Rynetta on her birthday by acting like he was bringing her breakfast that morning.
Why He Proposed: "After dating for two and a half years, I realized that Rynetta was different. She pushed me in ways that others didn't and I was all the better for it. I knew that it was time to take the next step. Rynetta had all the qualities that I was looking for in a wife. I knew at that point she was the woman that I was committed to spending the rest of my life with."
Patrick & Angela: Married 9 years, Dated for about two and half years
Courtesy of Patrick and Angela
How He Proposed: Patrick called on Angela's sister and some of his friends who helped him arrange what she thought was a "girls' dinner". Nevertheless, it turned out to be a surprise proposal when he walked into the restaurant with Jamie Foxx's "When I First Saw You" playing over the restaurant's sound system.
Why He Proposed: "A year before I met Angela, I was immature! I ended up going through a tough situation and at the conclusion of that situation, I asked God to make me spiritually and emotionally ready for the next woman. Over the course of a year, I had a true transformation and became a better man. One weekend, I came home to my parent's house for a party. My sister was home as well with a friend from college. I walked upstairs to see my sister and noticed her friend, but only from behind. Once I saw the back of her head, God told me that's your wife. Once I moved my sister out of the way (because she was blocking the door), I went over and introduced myself. Then, I went back downstairs and told my best friend, 'I just met my wife.'
"I was ready to propose from the moment I saw her, but I needed to prepare myself financially to provide the proposal, ring, and future home she deserved. When everything was set in place, I started taking her to jewelers to look at rings, unbeknownst to her that I had already customized a ring for her (with the help of my sister)."
Jacob & Saneda: Married 6 years, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Jacob and Saneda
How He Proposed: While on their first trip to Canada, Jacob proposed to Saneda as they enjoyed an intimate dinner at the CN Tower's 360-degree restaurant. As she was reaching into her purse, he reached for the iced-out jewelry box from his pocket.
Why He Proposed: "I never really had one particular moment of clarity when it came to popping the question. Rather it was a culmination of things and it was like all the stars aligned. Not often does one find someone who matches their wit and intelligence, shares similar morals, and enhances your overall life experience. Yet all those things were true. Together, we were living our best life. She would sometimes mention random engagement announcements and things of the sort, so I knew that she was ready, or at least she was making sure I knew that it was something she looked forward to.
"As referenced in a freestyle on some of my earlier work, we moved in 'after only two months, fell in love after only two pumps (she had very nice shoes)'. Since we were already committed to each other and sharing our home, it seemed like the next natural step. No need in putting off the inevitable. I embraced it, and it was one of the best decisions."
"I never really had one particular moment of clarity when it came to popping the question. Rather it was a culmination of things and it was like all the stars aligned. Not often does one find someone who matches their wit and intelligence, shares similar morals, and enhances your overall life experience. Yet all those things were true. Together, we were living our best life."
Harmakhu (“Khu”) & Jackie: Married 7 and a half years
Courtesy of Khu and Jackie
How He Proposed: Khu convinced Jackie to join her in their living room to watch a movie, but she was surprised to walk in and see that some of her family was there waiting to greet her. Khu got down on one knee and proposed to her in front of their family and friends.
Why He Proposed: "Timing is everything and even though we met in high school and had crushes on each other, we didn't date until after reuniting at our 10-year high school reunion. Since we had a good history and understanding of one another, Jackie and I moved in together after only a few months of dating. Upon moving in together, Jackie made it crystal-clear that she was not trying to shack up and would expect marriage plans within a couple of years. I loved the boundary-setting as it was a goal that I could mutually see for myself with her.
"I proposed within a year after moving in together. I knew it was time because her love brought me to a place of peace that I had never known within my life. During the first six months of dating, I received two promotions, so home and work life definitely took on a new meaning with our partnership. Having already experienced combined finances, planning, and working through the kinds of quirks or kinks that present itself when you cohabitate the same space was everything. It felt natural and it flowed, and marriage was the cherry on top to what we were building together."
Okino & Brianna: Married for 3 years
Courtesy of Okino and Brianna
How He Proposed: Okino lit some candles in their apartment in Florida, got down on one knee, and popped the question to Brianna.
Why He Proposed: "My wife, Brianna, is my soulmate, best friend, and I knew I wanted to be with her forever. We used to sit and talk for hours. We are different in many ways and similar in other ways, but the way she helps me be vulnerable and handles it with care speaks volumes. She is loving, caring, and kind. I knew I had to make it official because I could not let this love bug pass me by. It's one of life's greatest gifts to share and experience love, and when you do, you hold on to it. So, that's what I did."
Anthony & Radiance: Married almost 3 years, Dated two months before they got engaged
Courtesy of Anthony and Radiance
How He Proposed: Anthony surprised Radiance during Thanksgiving in her hometown of Cleveland, OH at her aunt's house with Anthony Hamilton's "Amen" playing in the background. He arranged it so that when it came time to bless the food, Radiance's mom asked him to do it so that he could use the opportunity to propose to her.
Why He Proposed: "We used to volunteer together, and then one Sunday, Radiance walked in and God told me she was my wife. After praying for His guidance, He revealed who had been in front of me for three years. I was ready to be the man and husband God wanted me to be. God confirmed it in different ways, so I was ready to pop the question."
"One Sunday, Radiance walked in and God told me she was my wife. After praying for His guidance, He revealed who had been in front of me for three years. I was ready to be the man and husband God wanted me to be."
Frederick & Jasmine: Married 3 years, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Frederick and Jasmine
Photographer Credit: Keighla Fox
How He Proposed: Since Frederick and Jasmine have big personalities, it was only fitting that the proposal was just as grand. Frederick proposed to Jasmine after jumping 14,000-feet out of the air skydiving.
Why He Proposed: "Jasmine is my best friend. I wanted to be committed and spend the rest of my life with her. I loved her spirit, her personality, her tenacity, and her work ethic. I knew that not only would she make an amazing wife, but a good mother, daughter-in-law and life partner. She has all of the qualities of an angel. I'm blessed every day to do life with her."
Thaddeus & Lauren: Married for two years, Dated for 7 years
Courtesy of Thaddeus and Lauren
How He Proposed: Initially, Thaddeus planned to propose to Lauren before they boarded a plane headed on vacation. However, since the ring was "burning a hole" in his pocket and he couldn't wait, he was on one knee asking her to marry him as soon as they arrived at the airport.
Why He Proposed: "I knew I was ready to pop the question when I realized I was the happiest when she was around, and when she wasn't around, I wanted her around. To understand how that meant a lot to me, you'd have to understand me. I really appreciate my alone time. So, the fact that I desired to have someone in my space and didn't want them to leave is when I knew I was ready. I didn't have a desire for anything else that didn't include her as a part of if.
"When I would think about future plans, I always considered her and how this would affect us, not just me. When I realized, I was making decisions based on what was best for us, I knew it was time for me to make us a forever thing. Lauren is literally my best friend. I truly feel like we are one because of how we have always poured into each other. "
"When I would think about future plans, I always considered her and how this would affect us, not just me. When I realized, I was making decisions based on what was best for us, I knew it was time for me to make us a forever thing. Lauren is literally my best friend. I truly feel like we are one because of how we have always poured into each other. "
Lance & Alison: Married for 10 months, Dated for a little over a year
Courtesy of Lance and Alison
How He Proposed: While visiting Alison's hometown in Cleveland, Ohio and after dinner with family and friends, Lance proposed to Alison before walking back into their Airbnb.
Why He Proposed: "We faced a couple of issues while dating and we were able to resolve them with communication and honesty. We both accepted each other's flaws, goofy selves, and worked on making each other better. Spending time together was not stressful, in fact, it was easy. I know marriage and love is work, but we do the work together to improve our love. We made plans together to travel, and even going to common places like the grocery store is fun and exciting. We have seen each other at our worst and love each other anyway. I felt and still feel a strong connection whenever she is in the room, and I couldn't live life without her in it."
Glenn & Kiamesha: Married 4 months, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Glenn and Kiamesha
Photo Credit: Peridot Imagery
How He Proposed: While visiting Marrakesh, Morocco, Glenn proposed to Kiamesha inside a courtyard while playing "Blessed" by Daniel Caesar. In college, they studied how Moroccans used the courtyard typology to fend off French colonists, so it was only fitting to propose there.
Why He Proposed: "The proposal is always performative and romantic, but imagine deciding a lifetime commitment without communication. Marriage was always discussed and planned so it was never an individual decision. Legacy was the driver for my decision...reclaiming history through marriage and re-imagining our future through children."
Colby Boone & Kheiston: Married 3 months, Dated for 8 months
Courtesy of Colby and Kheiston
Photo Credit: James Willis Photography @james_willis_photography
How He Proposed: Inspired by Pinterest, Colby created an intimate and romantic atmosphere with rose petals, balloons, music, and a scripture written on a whiteboard, and asked for Kheiston's hand in marriage right there in their apartment.
Why He Proposed: "I had the ring for almost a month, and with the pandemic and social injustice, the idea of waiting to be with someone knowing that tomorrow isn't promised didn't seem right. I believe one of the greatest decisions I made was not waiting. Instead, I took a leap and we're pressing toward the goals that we have for ourselves and for what we believe we were put together in this world to do. It was a huge step for me that took effort and creativity especially since all my friends are single. But I'm so glad to start this journey with my best friend, now wife."
Kenneth & Kamirah: Married for two months, Dated for 10 years
Courtesy of Kenneth and Kamirah
How He Proposed: Kenneth proposed to Kamirah at her first annual women's empowerment event in Atlantic City in front of her family and friends.
Why He Proposed: "I honestly always knew that I wanted to get married and start my own family because I was raised by my parents who have been married all my life. I knew even before I saw Kamirah in person that I wanted her in my life. I got to see Kamirah initially through Myspace. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I got to see Kamirah in person.
After years of dating, I knew that I didn't want to waste any more time. So, I decided to make us official. She has always loved me, respected me and made me feel better than any woman I had previously been with. She has a great sense of humor, she's gorgeous, smart, and VERY ambitious. She doesn't let anything hold her back. I knew I was ready to pop the question because she made me feel secure and complete. She has always loved me unconditionally and pushed me to be the best me I can be! I knew I couldn't and didn't want to live without her so it was my choice to make her Mrs. Brown."
Mike & Courtney: Engaged - Proposed in 2020, Dated for almost a year
Courtesy of Mike and Courtney
How He Proposed: Mike surprised his fiancee by telling her they were shooting a birthday video for his sister. After decorating a loft, hiring a live guitarist, and arranging it so that family and friends could witness it all through livestream, she arrived totally shocked to see him down on one knee proposing to her.
Courtesy of Mike and Courtney
Why He Proposed: "As cliche as it sounds, I knew Courtney was the one from the moment we started talking. My sister lost her first child to preterm labor a year or so prior and I had been praying for another niece or nephew. At the same time, I asked God to send me my wife. We exchanged numbers on Instagram and even though I hated talking on the phone, we spent 10 hours on FaceTime the first time we spoke. Those 10 hours felt like five minutes and by the end we knew everything about each other and how much we had in common.
"The icing on the cake is that I learned my fiancee was a midwife. God answered both my prayers because my sister got pregnant with my now seven-month-old nephew who was cared for during labor by my now-fiancee. This year has brought a lot of loss and many people are missing their loved ones from the dinner table. So, for me, it was a wake-up call that tomorrow isn't promised and I need to let this woman know I want her to be my wife. Hence, I popped the question."
"This year has brought a lot of loss and many people are missing their loved ones from the dinner table. So, for me, it was a wake-up call that tomorrow isn't promised and I need to let this woman know I want her to be my wife. Hence, I popped the question."
Jordan & Jazmyne: Engaged - Proposed in 2020, Dated for almost 3 years
Courtesy of Jordan and Jazmyne
How He Proposed: Jordan arranged for a surprise proposal at their church as well as an engagement photo shoot immediately following the proposal.
Why He Proposed: "I knew Jazmyne was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We have talked every single day since the very first day we met. I honestly couldn't imagine going a day without talking to her. It's like we are perfect for each other. We complement each other so well and I truly see her as my companion. She helps me to be a better man. She has done so much for me and no one has ever treated me the way she treats me. That's how I knew I was ready. I have so much to be thankful for from her, so putting a ring on it was really the least I could do. I love that girl so much. Not a day goes by where she isn't the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. I tell her all the time that she deserves everything and I mean that. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I can't wait to marry her."
*Some phrases may have been slightly modified or paraphrased for the sake of clarity.
Featured image courtesy of Jordan & Jazmyne
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Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Here's a roundup of holiday hair and glam ideas tailored for Black women, focusing on elegance, versatility, and creativity. Each style embraces natural textures, protective styling, and statement-making glam.
Holiday Hairstyle Ideas:
- Natural Hair: Embrace your natural curls, coils, and kinks with festive updos, twist-outs, braid-outs, or wash-and-go styles adorned with jeweled hair accessories, metallic headbands, or shimmering hair tinsel.
- Protective Styles: Opt for stylish and low-maintenance options like box braids, cornrows, Senegalese twists, faux locs, or crochet braids, incorporating festive elements like colored hair extensions, metallic cuffs, or decorative beads.
- Wigs & Weaves: Experiment with versatile and glamorous wigs and weaves in various textures, lengths, and colors, adding holiday flair with curls, waves, sleek styles, or statement-making hair accessories.
Holiday Glam Makeup Tips:
- Bold Lips: Make a statement with vibrant red, berry, or metallic lipstick shades that complement your skin tone and outfit.a
- Shimmering Eyes: Enhance your eyes with shimmering eyeshadows, metallic eyeliner, or glitter accents for a festive glow.
- Flawless Skin: Achieve a radiant complexion with a flawless foundation, subtle contouring, and a touch of highlighter.
- Statement Lashes: Accentuate your eyes with dramatic false lashes or a generous coat of mascara for added allure.
These suggestions are a starting point for your holiday hair and beauty journey. Feel free to personalize each look, experiment with different techniques, and express your unique style. The most important thing is to have fun and celebrate the magic that is you!
1. Stacked Bantu Knots
Raimonda Kulikauskiene/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bantu knots with loose, defined curls framing the face.
- Add gold or metallic hair cuffs for festive flair.
Glam:
- Glittery gold or copper eyeshadow.
- Bold red lip for a classic holiday vibe.
2. Sleek and Sophisticated
Ryan Destiny
Getty Images
Hair:
- Straight middle part or side part with layered waves and a high-gloss finish.
- Optional: Add crystal hair pins for extra sparkle.
Glam:
- Cat-eye liner paired with nude glossy lips.
- Soft bronzed cheeks for a warm glow.
3. Holiday Halo
Ciara
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Hair:
- A textured halo braid with faux locs or braiding hair for volume.
- Decorate with small ornaments or pearls for a whimsical touch.
Glam:
- Smokey eye with silver shimmer accents.
- Dark berry lipstick for a bold statement.
4. Textured Top Knot
Ari Lennox
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
Hair:
- High knot with natural texture or extensions for volume.
- Wrap the base with a velvet ribbon or festive scarf.
Glam:
- Metallic lids in emerald or sapphire shades.
- Subtle highlighter on cheekbones and nose.
5. Hollywood Waves
Jodie Turner-Smith
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
Hair:
- Classic finger waves or soft, voluminous curls for a vintage look.
- Use clip-ins or bundles for added length and fullness.
Glam:
- Winged eyeliner with lashes for drama.
- Crimson lipstick for timeless elegance.
6. Braided Beauty
Rihanna
Samir Hussein/WireImage
Hair:
- Fulani-inspired braids with gold beads or strings.
- Finish with a low bun or leave braids flowing.
Glam:
- Shimmery eyeshadow in gold or bronze.
- Glossy lips with a hint of sparkle.
7. Afro Chic
AJ Odudu
JB Lacroix/WireImage
Hair:
- Fluffed-out afro with metallic accessories.
- Secure with a decorative headband.
Glam:
- Dewy skin with a subtle blush.
- A soft pink lip for contrast.
8. Retro Glam Ponytail
Tia Mowry
Anna Webber/Getty Images
Hair:
- Sleek, high ponytail with flipped ends or added curls.
- Wrap the ponytail base with rhinestones or silk.
Glam:
- Bold eyeliner with graphic shapes.
- Matte lips in a deep plum shade.
9. Goddess Locs
Meagan Good
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bohemian-inspired locs with curly ends.
- Add holiday sparkle with silver or gold accents.
Glam:
- Bronzed eye makeup with a glossy finish.
- Warm nude lipstick with overlined edges.
Hair:
- Stranded twists styled into an intricate updo or bun.
- Secure with jeweled pins or barrettes.
Glam:
- Rose gold eyeshadow with natural lashes.
- Soft mauve lipstick for a delicate finish.
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Featured image by Getty Images