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Christian Keyes Doesn't Believe In Falling In Love With Potential

"When you date with a purpose, you date on purpose."

#xoMan

I don't know who needs to hear this, but falling for potential will have you out here on your ass.

Almost never counts and according to xoMan Christian Keyes, dating without a purpose is the key to staying single. In a recent interview with Dana Blair for xoMan Live, Christian broke down the biggest dating mistake we all make: falling in love with potential versus reality. He explained:

Christian Keyes Doesn't Date For Potential + Says Kissing Baby Hairs Is A Form Of Intimacy

"I think that's a bad idea because, you just said it, you are falling in love with your version of who that person is. If that's not who they are, then you're gonna change the things about them that you fell for in the first place. When you date with a purpose, you date on purpose. You don't just date to date. If I'm going to give you my time… I gotta see the possibility for it to be something epic because I feel like I deserve something epic."

During his interview with Dana, Christian admitted to having a few relationship faux pas of his own in the past. When asked what his partners would say his biggest flaws were in a relationship, he had this to say:

"They'd say maybe making them a priority. When I was younger, it was more about 'beat it up culture.' Now that I'm older and more grown and more seasoned, I think you learn to take your time and experience and enjoy each other and spend time enjoying each other. The progress report would be more attentive. More gentleman than savage. Occasional savagery."

Although Christian's savage season was more than cringeworthy, he now understands that intimacy extends way beyond sex:

"The touches, the foot rubs, the smells, the collarbone kisses, the ear nibbles, when she's in the kitchen making something and you walk past… The shoulder bites...she on the phone on a conference call just lean in, bite her shoulder a little bit and just keep it moving. I think all the things that create that magic and that real good, feel good feeling, all that butterfly stuff. I think that's all intimacy. I think laying there after making love is intimacy. Kissing on her baby hairs and rubbing on that booty."

Despite his missteps in past relationships, Christian says that now that he's taken the time to define his own needs in a relationship, he'll know exactly when he's found the one—but that doesn't mean she has to be perfect. He continued:

"To be honest, I think we know when we're in a situation that's peaceful and organic, but powerful. You crave that person's presence all the time. They can be next to you and you don't get tired of them. You wanna do random acts of service and super nice shit like, aye babe how was your day?"
"The shit that some people might think is corny, that's the stuff that holds relationships together. I need those moments and I think that's how I know when I'm in the right relationship. Is it gonna be perfect? No. Am I gonna be perfect? No. Is she? No. Could she be perfect for me? Possibly."

Featured image by Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com

You know what? Sometimes, you've got to push a few coins aside and determine in your mind that you're going to invest into your sex life (if you had a sex jar, this would be easier to do, by the way. You can read more about what that is all about here). If you're someone who is totally down to do that, but you don't have a clue where to begin, boy have you come to the right place! Between the joy of being a writer who sometimes gets samples sent to me, the constant research that I do for the couples I work with and having folks shout-out certain items semi-often, I've compiled a list of 12 sex-related items that may seem random AF (a pun is kind of intended there) and, at the same time, can make sex so much better between you and your partner. Where's your pad at? You're definitely gonna wanna take note.

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