Should Men Be Required To Follow These 6 Proposal Rules?
If you were to ask a millennial woman how she would like for her proposal to go, the answers would probably vary from a small intimate affair with no spectators, to a big blown out half-time show proposal that goes viral.
In this day and age where your next move could make you a social media sensation, the anty has been upped for men to put their best foot forward when asking for a woman's hand in marriage, but according to a meme that has been circulating, most women don't need a lot. They would just like for their man to follow these 6 rules:
With more than 49k pins on Pinterest, the 6 Proposal Rules has taken on a life of its own. But should women hold men to all six rules?
When my Mr. Right decides to pop the question, I don't necessarily have any rules, but I do have one requirement, which is he has to ask my parents for their blessings. If he is the right man for me and the one I will spend my life with, I believe the least he can do is give my parents the respect of giving their blessing.
We decided to ask a few readers what they thought about the idea of Proposal Rules and here are their thoughts:
I Love It!
“I love the popular post going around regarding proposal rules. When the subject of getting married became a reoccurring discussion for us, I shared the rules with my then-boyfriend. He knew I'd like him to get on one knee and to capture it on camera. He thought it would be nice for it to be a surprise and figured I'd want him to ask my parents for their blessing. He didn't realize it was important to me for him to say my full name or that my nails were done (or better yet not a mess lol). So, I was glad that we discussed these rules! And when the time came, he made every effort to make sure that all of these things were checked off or in place for our special moment. Did I mention he proposed to me while I was vacationing with girlfriends in Spain?"
BreAnna D., @Breesfootprints
“I like the idea but I don't want an audience. Just us, simple and intimate. I definitely want my nails done because I want a lot of pictures of that ring on my left ring finger. This is definitely not a bad idea."
Antoinette W., @iammstoni
Don't Need It!
“My then-fiancé did not need to get approval from my family because they already approved of him upon introduction. Complete surprise? No. I knew he was my husband within 60 days. I was very aware it was coming, so when he proposed, I was not surprised at all. He didn't use my name at all, and I didn't care. He spoke in his own voice and that's what I fell in love with anyway. He didn't get on any knee and it wasn't caught on camera because it was just us two. We're an intimate couple. We savor special moments and memories. The last damn thing he was worried about was what my hands looked like. It was more about my heart, and our commitment."
Joanae K., @naetorious
“I used to think that all of those rules had to be followed for a proper engagement. My husband did none of them. My nails weren't done, he didn't ask my dad, didn't get down on one knee—none of the 'traditional' stuff. He actually waited until I was getting ready for bed and said, 'Well, I might as well give this to you now.' Then, (he) rolled over and went to sleep. We've been insanely and happily married for five years. I certainly would have preferred something flashier and more traditional, but I learned that this was his gift to me. He did what he was comfortable with and having a healthy, lasting relationship is much more important that the presentation of the ring!"
Katherine S., @beyoked
“The tradition of asking the family for a person's hand in marriage means a lot to the bride. The fiancé taking the time to include the family, receive blessings, and ask for support is a total thumbs up. A proposal is always a surprise, even if she knows it, it should just be genuine. Speaking her full name is so not necessary unless that is how you talk to her normally. A proposal is an extremely intimate moment shared between the two of you, or intimate family and friends. Don't feel the need to hire photogs. I'm all for a fresh mani! I unfortunately had cracked, dark green polish, but my bling was still brilliant!"
Renee B., @Wiithyu
I Hate It!
“This is so ridiculous and a reason so many women can't be happy with what they have. Why have a laundry list of things a man must do to propose? Why is it HIS job to make sure YOUR nails are done? So, if he doesn't do these things he doesn't love you? Ugh. This is pedantic behavior at its finest."
Roni C., @RoniTheTravelGuru
“I do not agree with all of the rules! I am not big on traditions and I want the moment to be special for us as a pair. I have learned having too many people involved can be a disaster. I am not willing to risk that moment for tradition or to make others happy. However, as a girly girl millennial, I do want my nails done though. *hair flip* Lol."
Jaynay J., @jaynaychanel
What are your thoughts on the 6 Rule Proposal? Do you have rules of your own? Would these rules be a must for you? Be sure to share your thoughts with us. Let's talk!
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Many have wondered if one time is ever enough to see Queen Bey. Some argue yes. However, many of us on the opposite end of the spectrum, including myself, would disagree. Beyoncé's "Renaissance World Tour" is a universal yet varying experience for everyone who attends. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, the concert is "transcendent." For millennials, we have over two decades of her catalog that has served as the soundtrack for many of our lives and painted a personal portrait of our most coveted thoughts. Her music provides mental clarity and self-expression by serving as a universal language that has united fans from all walks of life through community, fashion, self-acceptance, and healing.
With a multi-layered approach to her artistry, just as she did on that winter day in December 2013 with the infamous digital drop of her self-titled album, she changed the game again on February 1, 2023, when she announced her world tour in support of Renaissance, her seventh studio album. Her cultural impact set the internet ablaze, with everyone trying to gather their coins, barter for presale codes, and figure out which cities to attend. The group chats were lit, and the Beyhive was stressed trying to get their hands on tickets.
Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in L.A.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
Unfortunately, I was in that number. As the concert dates passed by and the one in my city drawing near all roads led to disappointment. With time ticking on the day of the Miami show and less than two hours to spare, my wallet bit the bullet, and I purchased three last-minute tickets, costing roughly $700.00 a piece (including fees) for me, my 9-year-old and 16-year-old nieces in Section 121 at the Hard Rock Stadium. With 10 minutes before showtime, we eagerly awaited the Queen to take the stage. A sea of metallic fringes, cowboy hats, disco fans, and western boots were in full effect and filled the entire stadium.
Dontaira with her nieces at Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in Miami.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
As the lights dimmed, a flood of emotions instantly overtook my body. It continued with each note she belted, along with nearly 50,000 roaring fans. The reverberating sound of the music through the stadium transported me from one era of my life to the next. As a teen girl in her bedroom daydreaming about her first love to blossoming into an unapologetic Black woman who is still on a road of self-discovery while learning to lean into the power anthem of "You won't break my soul." For over two hours, and with each set, I felt joy, love, peace, and a commanderie with fellow concertgoers. It was therapeutic as I danced like no one was watching and sang as if I were alone in my bathroom mirror.
There were no bars held, and I realized at that moment, "Nobody can judge me but me." The "Renaissance World Tour" proved to be so vast, and my Black girl joy was re-invigorated. It was magnetic and liberating, and I had to attend again, but this time, I needed to be up close and personal; I needed to be on the floor. In the days that passed, I watched more social media clips in different cities and asked myself if I would really splurge again to attend another Renaissance show.
Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in Miami.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
After all, this would be my thirteenth time (maybe more because I lost count) seeing Beyoncé live, whether she was on tour with Destiny's Child, as a solo artist, or doing a live appearance. I contemplated for a while, but it worked itself out on its own. I was gifted two tickets and the next thing I knew, I was off to LA to attend another Renaissance show with floor seats at SoFi Stadium during Beyonce's 42nd birthday weekend! This time, things were different: no kids were allowed. It was adults only this go round.
Although the energy at the Miami and Los Angeles shows was empowering, infectious, and a celebration of life, happiness, and identity, they each provided their own unique experience. However, both concerts were what I needed for my well-being, leaving me with sore feet from dancing the night away, on vocal rest for the next few days from screaming at the top of my lungs, and on an indefinite high on life.
My introduction and love for Beyoncé began in 1996, while my older sister lived in Houston, TX, right before Bey hit the scene in 1998 with "No, No, No" as a budding R&B member. Her evolution twenty-seven years later as an international superstar and into womanhood has been an incredible journey to witness. As Mrs. Carter reminds each of us in the audience every night before the curtain closes, "I want you to remember this moment, where you're standing, who you came with, and take it with you. I hope you feel inspired."
I truly felt inspired, so thank you, Queen Bey. You awakened my inner child, and I will definitely remember these moments and take them with me.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Parkwood