Here's Your Sex Style, Based On Astrology
Astrology can reveal a lot of deep information about the inner workings of yourself and others. But did you know that it could also reveal your sexual style? Whether you like spontaneous sex, kinky sex, rough sex, or soulful sex, your unique astrology placements can reveal the specifics of your sex M.O. It also can reveal what you find sexually attractive in your partner and in their approach to sex. Do you like to be pursued or do you like to be the aggressor? Do you like a subtle, polite approach to sex, or do you want him to "beat it up"?
Knowing your specific astrological "sex" placements and those of your partner can save you a lot of time and heartache by predicting your sexual compatibility - or incompatibility - with a love interest. There are specific placements to look for when trying to determine someone's sexual style.
I highly recommend creating an account with Astro.com (or Co–Star) in figuring out the following:
- Mars Sign: A person's Mars sign reveals, among other things, how they express their sexual urges and how they go about achieving their deepest passions and yearnings. It reveals what they want and how they go about getting it!
- House placement of Mars: Where a person's Mars sign is placed can hint at *where* and under what circumstances they may subconsciously like to express their sexual energy.
- Asteroid Placements: Knowing the placements of specific asteroids like the "Lust", "Lillith," "Eros" and Juno Asteroids (among others) can reveal your sexual triggers and what really gets you off about the sexual act.
The simplest and most straightforward way to determine your sex style is by looking at your Mars sign. Your Mars sign reveals much, much more about your sex style than your Sun sign. For example, your Sun sign can make you appear more outwardly prude or reserved than you actually are behind closed doors - and vice versa! Here's what your Mars sign reveals about your sex style:
Mars In Aries
You are direct, spontaneous and instinctual. You enjoy active, unrestricted and fiery sex. You are not into playing mind games. If you are interested in someone, you don't mind and won't hesitate to go after what you want.
Most Compatible With: Sagittarius, Leo and Libra Mars
Mars In Taurus
You have a deep, earthy, tactile sensuality. You express your desire through tons of physical affection. You like to take the time to figure out exactly what stimulates your partner and you fulfill their biggest fantasies and sexual turn-ons slowly and steadily. Sex with you is ground-shattering and nourishing to the soul.
Most Compatible With: Capricorn, Virgo and Scorpio Mars
Mars In Gemini
You express your desire and sexual energy through words. You are all about dirty talk. Mental stimulation is key for you. You love variety and to switch things up in the bedroom.
Most Compatible With: Libra, Aquarius, and Sagittarius Mars
Mars In Cancer
You crave soulful and intuitive sex. Sex and emotions are a package deal for you. You are not necessarily the no-strings attached type - you love to nurture and care for your partner inside and outside of the bedroom. Sexually, you like to play into masculine and feminine stereotypes.
Most Compatible With: Scorpio, Pisces and Capricorn Mars
Mars In Leo
You pride yourself on being the most memorable sex your partner has ever had. You will pull out all the stops necessary to create a mind-blowing experience. You have no tolerance for being disrespected, sexually or otherwise.
Most Compatible With: Aries, Aquarius, and Sagittarius Mars
Mars In Virgo
You aim to please! You often put your partner's needs ahead of your own. You are extremely turned on by their orgasm and all it takes to get them there. If your partner is not fully enjoying sex, it's impossible for you to enjoy it either. Good hygiene is incredibly important to you.
Most Compatible With: Capricorn, Taurus and Pisces Mars
Mars In Libra
You go above and beyond in setting the mood for your partner, creating an ambient and visually appealing experience. Sexually, you are happy to follow your partner's lead. You are adventurous, playful and up for everything.
Most Compatible With: Aries, Aquarius and Gemini Mars
Mars In Scorpio
It is quite easy for your partner to become addicted to sex with you and vice versa. Sex for you isn't only a physical act, it's an extremely deep mental, emotional and spiritual energy exchange. Whether you realize it or not, you use sex to penetrate your partner's mind, heart and soul. You love pushing boundaries sexually and are drawn to taboos and BDSM dynamics. You enjoy kinky, soulful sex.
Most Compatible With: Pisces, Cancer and Taurus Mars
Mars In Sagittarius
You enjoy adventurous sex and sex games. You are direct and aren't afraid to beat around the bush when it comes to what you want sexually. You love to challenge yourself and your partner during sex.
Most Compatible With: Aries, Leo and Gemini Mars
Mars In Capricorn
You strive to be the best in everything and sex is no different. You will put in the work to figure out the most enjoyable sexual experience for your partner. You have the patience and steady determination to blow your partner's mind. Your partners are often surprised by how sexually intense you are. You're the epitome of "a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets".
Most Compatible With: Taurus, Virgo and Cancer Mars
Mars In Aquarius
You don't enjoy boring, uninnovative sex. You hate overly cliche or romantic gestures. You are attracted to intelligent, unconventional, bold and somewhat rebellious sexual partners. You enjoy taboo sex. You are the sapiosexual of the zodiac.
Most Compatible With: Libra, Gemini, and Leo Mars
Mars In Pisces
You are attracted to the underdog. You can easily become addicted to devil d*ck! If you are not careful, you may find yourself drawn to fuckboys and hobosexuals because of the deep empathy you have in them. You are completely selfless and self-sacrificing sexually - you intuitively know what turns your partner on and will go the extra mile to make sure they get there. They are amazed by how much you are willing to give and push your boundaries sexually.
Most Compatible With: Virgo, Cancer, and Scorpio Mars
So, what's your Mars sign?
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
