5 Signs You're Dating A Hobosexual, Sis
We've all heard the cliché phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures," and with the cold weather swiftly moving in, most of us are looking for a hot plate and a warm body to lay next to at night. Fall/winter is the time of year to bring out our favorite sweaters, boots, socially-distanced family gatherings, gift buying, and pumpkin spice lattes. The joy of spreading holiday cheer can blind you sometimes from making reckless decisions. One of those decisions is welcoming a hobosexual into your home. What is a hobosexual, you ask?
Definition of hobosexual: 👇🏾 https://t.co/XZiaJRuYhJ
— norma louise bates. (@LovelyMsBurns) December 3, 2020
This word was introduced to us by Rolling Out writer Nakita Nicci and its meaning refers to "a person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay – not a genuine romantic interest." These home-hopping men will slide in your DMs on Monday, talk to you on the phone for hours on Tuesday, give you sex on Wednesday, tell you that they love you on Thursday, and want to move in by Friday. Aren't sure if the guy you're seeing is a hobosexual?
Here are five signs that you could be very well, indeed, dating a hobosexual.
He Moves The Relationship Hella Fast
Hobosexual: someone who is homeless and enters relationships just to find a home.
— Robine ♍🇭🇹🇨🇦 (@rockin_robine) December 2, 2020
Those who are interested in you are willing to take their time getting to know you and anyone serious about getting to know you will be patient with learning the details of your life and understanding how you add to theirs. They are anxious to spend time with you, enjoy your company, and ask more in-depth questions. They will make sure that their exes are indeed exes, that their career is steady, and their finances are together before talking about a relationship or marriage. If he's already saying that he loves you by the second week, see that as a red flag. This is a marathon, not a race.
He Lives In The “In-Between” Spaces In Life
We've all met our fair share of "in-between" men before. The ones in-between cars, jobs, bank accounts, past (read: current) romantic relationships, and living conditions. Those who are frequently "crashing" at a friend or relatives' house (read: parents) until they can get back on their feet. If he isn't willing to say what he does for a living, or explain what he does for a living, say it with me one more time: issa red flag. He ain't got no job, sis!
He Doesn’t Know When To Leave
It’s hobosexual szn ladies. Don’t let him know where you live!
— Cognac Dissonance (@rud_kel) December 7, 2020
Space is needed in any relationship, and in the initial stages of dating, you shouldn't just run past pacing in lieu of spending every waking minute together. If the man you are seeing is continuously spending the night and not allowing you to enjoy the space you pay rent in your aloneness, consider that a red flag. A man with his own would be willing to give you your space because he also has his. If you are having a hard time kicking him out, it's probably because he has nowhere else to go, so see that as a red flag.
His Lifestyle Is Infringing Upon The Way You Live Yours
If you find yourself spending extra money on food, notice your water bill increasing or do extra laundry, this is the perfect opportunity to evaluate your surroundings. Is he overstaying his welcome? Every time you ask to go to "his place", does he convince you that your spot is more comfortable? Or does he create a million and one reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea to visit his place? I'm sorry to break this to you, but he doesn't have a place to live, sis.
He Jumps Right Into Moving In With You
Gospel truth. Can make a woman a target for bums. The hobosexual energy is strong out here
— 🧚🏾♂️ droskie don dada | hatshepsut jenkins ✨ (@___dro__) December 5, 2020
Speaking of not having a place to live, if you happen to overhear your winter bae mentioning a desk, music equipment, bikes, workout equipment, his million and one Jordan's, high school yearbooks, and awards. If you hear any of this associated with a storage unit (or his parents or homeboys), that is a sign that he has no other place to live and he feels comfortable enough to move it out and move it in with you. Your one-bedroom apartment is now doubling as a bachelor pad.
Cut your losses, and let the free bird be free.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED