As the saying goes, "The truth shall set you free" and the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in the beginning of the month serves to do just that. Our favorite planet, Mercury, joins the retrograde party mid-month, pulling us into the tide of emotions that we're learning how to navigate better with the help of the New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st. Once Neptune goes retrograde, we'll be seeing things a little differently as the rose-colored glasses come off. By the end of the month, Mars gives you the drive to turn your fantasies into reality.
Check out more below to see what's going on in the cosmos this month for your sign!
Aries
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month kicks off with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse, giving you the oomph you need to push past limiting beliefs that you learned from more "knowledgeable" people in your life. Wisdom comes from personal experience and it's time for you to seek answers from your own inner guru. When Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th, discussions about renovations, relocating, or family planning will be prominent in the weeks to come. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st signifies a big overhaul of unresolved emotions, and intergenerational trauma, related to family members—specifically the mother figure in your life.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you receive clarity on life's mysteries through your dream time and meditation. When Venus goes direct on the 25th, you'll be getting clearer about where you and bae are headed. Near the end of the month, your ruling planet finally moves into your sign, gifting you with a much-needed boost of energy to accomplish the million and one goals you've set for yourself. It's time to roll up your sleeves and get to work! On the 30th, an aspect between Jupiter/Pluto awakens you to deeper levels of your personal power. Just be mindful of going head-to-head with authority figures and even people that look up to you. With greater power comes greater responsibility.
Taurus
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The month begins with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse gifting you some much-needed perspective about a significant experience that impacted you negatively. You might have walked through the fire but you've come out on the other side unscathed—a phoenix rising from the ashes in all its majesty. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, inviting you to take a softer approach when it comes to communicating your needs. Remember, babe, you'll catch more flies with honey. Oftentimes, the way we communicate with others is merely a reflection of our own inner dialogue and this New Moon Solar eclipse can help you move past some critical, harsh self-talk to opt for more compassion instead.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, offering a different perspective about your friends and how you fit into the bunch. If you've had someone up on a pedestal, this transit may be a bit of a reality check when it comes to their true intentions towards you. Your ruling planet, Venus, goes direct on the 25th and you'll be feeling a lot more confident about your investments and money-making endeavors moving forward, especially if you spent the retrograde brushing up on your knowledge and expertise. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries and you may find it more difficult to express your anger during this time. Dig deeper into your frustrations and maybe you'll find that your anger is really just a feeling of powerlessness, unprocessed grief, or even boredom.
Gemini
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleJune kicks off with a bang, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in your opposite sign, Sag, bringing your focus to relationships. You're closing out a big cycle when it comes to a specific partnership or just your relationship patterns as a whole. Just remember that with an ending awaits a new beginning on the other side. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to tune into more emotionally fulfilling ways of making money. On the 21st, the New Moon Lunar eclipse transforms your self-esteem by granting you the gift of perspective. As the saying goes, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Let the past roll off your back and remember who the f*ck you are!
On the 23rd, Neptune retrograde attempts to clear the fog when it comes to your public image and career. Any deceptive energy within your professional life will be exposed during this transit. Stay on the up and up by prioritizing authenticity and try not to take it personally if someone you're working with hasn't been as real as you initially thought. Venus finally goes direct on the 25th, giving you some forward momentum when it comes to money and love. When Mars moves into Aries on the 27th, you're focused on the collective. You could even find yourself leading a group or inspiring others to be the change they want to see in the world.
Cancer
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month gives you a much-needed kick in the ass to break through some bad habits that are keeping you from living your best (and healthiest) life. The Full Moon Lunar eclipse not only requires you to adjust your approach to your wellness but also your schedule as well. Your mantra? "I am flexible and open to change." On the 18th, Mercury begins its retrograde through your sign which could bring some missed opportunities back around (and maybe a pesky ex as well). After a year of eclipses in your sign, you're finally experiencing the last one for some years to come on the 21st. Are you ready to ascend to higher levels? Either get with the program or get dragged 'cause change is here, baby.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde party, debunking any idealizations you've made of someone in a position of spiritual authority. Get in touch with your own spiritual truth before blindly following another. The planet of love finally goes direct on the 25th, gifting you the clarity you need about past lovers and relationship patterns that you've outgrown—particularly when it comes to communicating your needs. Make things about you for once, please. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, getting you geared up when it comes to your career and public image. How can you take more control of your success? Dig in those heels and get to work.
Leo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleYour sister sign is getting you together with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse on the 5th. Creativity and romance take front and center stage—marking a time of endings or beginnings. These eclipses are wild cards so hang loose, baby, and TRUST that whatever happens is realigning you with your destiny. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to make peace with some sh*t that just ain't cuttin' it for you anymore. Don't be surprised if your ex pops up, in real time or in your dreams, wanting to give it another go. Recognize the lesson and set them (and you) free. On the 21st, the New Moon Solar eclipse brings through the final sweep of what you cannot take into your new year with you. You've got big things to accomplish and you can't do it with all of that baggage weighing you down.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, inviting you to uncover the secrets within yourself (or someone you thought you knew). It's "Mask Off" season and now is the time to separate the real from the fake. On the 25th, Venus goes direct, helping to smooth out communication amongst your social circle. You're finally feeling like more of your bubbly self, ready to rub elbows with the movers and shakers of your community. The energy is in high drive towards the end of the month when Mars moves into Aries. The travel bug has got you ready to forget about the Rona to embark on that tropical getaway. If you're a writer or teacher, you should have no problem cranking out content during this transit. Use it to your advantage!
Virgo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleHome and family matters are top priority at the beginning of the month, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse. It's time to revamp your space or find a new one that's a better fit for your growing needs (or family). On the 18th, Mercury goes retro, giving you a chance to catch up with old friends and some old dreams as well. Yes, Virgo, daydreaming is productive as well. It's called creative visualization and it's your best friend this month. Around the middle of the month, the New Moon Solar eclipse helps you wipe the slate clean and reimagine what your ideal tribe looks (and feels) like. Although you may be saying goodbye to an old friend, trust that you're just creating space for a new connection that's more of your vibe.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde mash up, helping you sift through the fog of any personal relationships. It's time to see someone for what they really are—a human—so stop projecting your perfectionism onto them and getting upset when they don't meet your expectation. Look, we don't all share a Sun sign with THEE Beyoncé, so everybody can't be perfect all of the time. Compassion, Virgo. Also, realism. On the 25th, Venus finally goes direct, helping you attract opportunities that will land you in a position of power and influence. Things are getting hot and sexy for you when Mars, a.k.a. your libido, enters Aries, encouraging you to sex it out, sweat it out, or work it out.
Libra
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse is bringing the change when it comes to the way you communicate with yourself and others. This is a good time to promote yourself, your truth, and that book you've been working on behind the scenes. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde where the conversation is focused on work and tying up loose ends on a project you've been neglecting. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 23rd could result in some unexpected career recognition or a change in your life path that's in alignment with your evolving needs.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde and the rose-colored glasses come off. This transit can be revealing when it comes to hidden enemies—particularly those in the work environment. This is also a supportive time to kick any bad habits like smoking, drinking, or obsessing over guys that just aren't good for you. On the 25th, Venus goes direct and your wanderlust has got you ready to brave the Rona to take that girls' trip you've been planning since last year. Things are heating up for you towards the end of the month when Mars enters your relationship house. You know what you want and you're not afraid to take charge. That whole diplomatic "door-mat" approach just won't cut it for you during this transit. It's OK to have it your way for once.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleJune kicks off with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse inviting you to make some financial changes. Important conversations may arise about the shared resources. Try to find a happy middle ground but don't be surprised if the Universe dissolves a financial partnership that isn't serving either party involved. Remember the eclipse season mantra—"Out with the old, in with the new". On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, encouraging you to revisit an old project you've been working on especially in the realm of writing and educational content. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st comes through to help you wipe out limiting beliefs that make you hide your gifts from the world. A sudden opportunity to present your work on a larger platform can present itself.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde party, helping you see your romantic prospect(s) more clearly. Is it true love or is it just a fling? You'll receive the clarity you need in the months to come. Emotions will be at a high during this time so channel that energy into creating something. On the 25th, Venus goes direct, possibly landing you a settlement or some money owed to you. If your intimate connections have been challenged over the past couple of months, things should start smoothing out moving forward. Fiery Mars enters Aries on the 27th, turning you into a gym rat for the rest of the year (and a drill sergeant when it comes to your schedule and diet). You need to feel your best to maintain the energy needed to build your empire!
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleIt's all about you in the beginning of the month with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in your sign. As you begin to prioritize your needs more, this may cause a little friction between you and others. Focusing on yourself isn't synonymous with harming someone else. On the 18th, Mercury goes retro and the conversation runs deep between you and the special people in your life as the intimacy levels grow stronger. If you're dealing with some emotional hang ups, this is a perfect time to schedule an appointment with a therapist. The New Moon Solar eclipse in this same part of your chart serves as the gateway to your healing and redemption.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you see clearly into your family dynamics. Did you grow up under the illusion that nurturing and tenderness is for weaklings? Well, maybe now it's time for you to stop resisting exactly what you've always needed to blossom into the best version of yourself. On the 25th, Venus finally goes direct, clearing up communication issues between you and bae while also helping you secure that contract that you've been negotiating. At the end of the month, Mars enters Aries, where it'll be for the rest of the year. Your desire for creative expression, romance, and adventure is heightened during this transit. It's time to unwind and have some fun, Saggie!
Capricorn
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with you burning bridges to your past, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse. Surrender or be dragged, sis. You can kick and scream all you want but when the Universe is ready to help you level up by any means necessary. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you the chance to renegotiate contracts and redefine your boundaries within relationships. Where have you been giving too much to others and not enough to yourself (or vice versa)? The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st makes it clear as to who's good for you and who's not. Changes in your relationships, professional included, are bound to occur.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, granting you the gift of clarity through some insightful conversations you'll be having in the months to come. Don't be surprised if you uncover some hidden information about your sibling getting hitched during the Rona pandemic. Once Venus goes direct on the 25th, you're focused on your health and well-being, making this a good time to learn about a new fitness regimen or detox program. Towards the end of the month, fiesty Mars enters Aries, putting your home renovation or relocation plans in overdrive. On the 30th, Jupiter and Pluto join forces to help you integrate some much-needed gems of wisdom that can propel you forward in a more empowered way.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleYour social circle needs a bit of a revamp and the Full Moon Lunar eclipse is here to help with that. Whether you're kicking dusty "friends" to the curb or simply exploring new options, it's important that you align with folks that are intent on loving you in all of your truth—the good, the bad, and the ugly. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, encouraging you to nurture your mental and physical health. Drink plenty of water and opt for more gentle forms of exercise, like a stroll through your neighborhood or yoga in the park. The New Moon Solar eclipse comes through on the 21st, helping you overcome that sweet tooth or your overindulgence in wine.
Towards the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde, bringing you back down to earth when it comes to your spending habits. It's great that you trust the Universe to provide for all of your needs but don't be out here spending recklessly. On the 25th, Venus goes direct and you're ready for some summertime fun (and romance). Get creative and see what adventures you and bae can get into in the midst of the Rona. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, gifting you with the courage to talk yo sh*t. You're feeling more bold and confident when it comes to expressing yourself and all of your unconventional beliefs. Gon' head and shake the table, babe! Your conviction has the potential to inspire the masses (or at least your social media following).
Pisces
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month brings changes to your career trajectory and public image. A sudden opportunity can open a new door for you, or you could finally be getting the recognition you deserve. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, making it the perfect time to revisit that old creative hobby or project you've been neglecting. The New Moon Solar eclipse will definitely have you in your feels. You'll need a healthy outlet for channeling all of those emotions into sappy love songs or heartfelt breakup anthems. Rekindling romance may also be on your mind (or an ex of yours who's waiting for the right moment to pounce).
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you get clear on your boundaries as well as your personal identity. You have a tendency to enmesh with everyone and everything around you. This transit will help you separate what is yours and what is everyone else's. As empathic as you are, it's important that you allow other people to manage their own problems. You've got other things to concern yourself with, like planning your Zoom housewarming party or doing your Googles for that new home entertainment system you want. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, giving you a much-needed kick in the ass to get your money right. It's time to bring all of those great ideas of yours into reality and you'll have plenty of energy to do just that.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Some other beautiful things that can come from staying in the present?
1. You Can Take the Pressure Off
GiphyThere is a Scripture in the Bible that is a great way to open up the points of today’s article: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Y’all, after the summer that I’ve had this year (check out “I've Been Estranged From My Mom For Years. She Died Last Week.” and “I Was Hired To Be An Online Life Coach. Then Got Scammed For $4K. Here's How To Avoid This.”), verses like this one have been a breath of fresh air because, although it is wise to plan for the future (of course, it is), it’s also great wisdom to choose to rest in the fact that, no matter what may be going on, all that you can do is your best from day to day.
When you really learn to embrace that reality, it really does make life far less stressful.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. You Stop Trying to Control…What Is Out of Your Control
GiphyI believe I’ve shared before that back when my house burned down, three days before Christmas, back in 2021, that was a life-changing moment for me. As I watched all of the firefighters cutting into the roof, after asking the fire marshal what the cause was, I told everyone that I had a pedicure appointment and I would be back. The fire wasn’t my fault. What wasn’t destroyed by flames was jacked up by the foam and water that was used to put the fire out. And hell, I couldn’t control any of that. What I could control, though, was doing some self-care, so that I could remain as calm and focused as possible.
Y’all, obesity, heart disease, headaches, depression, anxiety, accelerated aging, premature death — all of these health-related issues are linked to stress and one of the things that stresses people out is trying to control what is literally out of their control. And honestly, that’s what makes the Serenity Prayer so impactful: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
Wanna know if you’re walking in true discernment and emotional maturity? You are out here only controlling what is in your power. Straight up.
3. You Are Able to Be More Peaceful and Less Frazzled
GiphyTo be frazzled is to be worn out — and something that can absolutely wear you out is thinking about too many things at once or trying to do too many things at one time (more on the latter in a second). However, the beauty that comes with both of these things is knowing that you absolutely have the power to avoid both pitfalls by choosing to remain in the moment.
If you are having lunch with a friend, don’t worry about the conversation that you need to have with your boss tomorrow; you aren’t there yet. If you are in the process of paying your tax bill, don’t stress about rent (yet); be glad about the provision that you have to take care of the matter at hand. Why be worried about how Christmas or New Year’s at your in-laws is going to go if you’re days or weeks out from it? Focus on what you’ve got going on and how to make it pleasurable.
I’m telling you, one of the best things about living in the moment is it reminds you that if you keep your mind, body, and spirit in the present, you are able to remain so much more at peace. Where peace is, calm is. Where calm is, tranquility is. And that is an absolutely wonderful space to be (and remain) in.
4. You Can Concentrate on One Thing at a Time
GiphySomething that I know that people (especially women) like to brag about is the ability to multitask. If you’re one of those individuals, it’s time to do a bit of myth debunking. Although some studies say that people can accomplish doing a couple of things at a time fairly well, semi-recent intel is revealing that trying to accomplish more than three things at a time will typically cause you to not be as efficient or excellent at your tasks as you might think.
In fact, I recently read an article on the topic which said that when office workers are interrupted, it can take them almost 30 minutes to actually get back on track. That’s because the brain is not designed to complete more than one comprehensive task at a time.
So, you know what that means, right? By attempting to do more than one thing at a time, you’re probably not going to be as thorough, and that could result in you actually wasting time because you’ll have to go back over “it.” Yeah, I’d rather just stay in the moment and concentrate on the one thing that is before me. That way, it can be done well, and when I move on from “it,” I can move on…fully.
5. You Become More Appreciative
GiphyWhen you get a chance, check out the article, “Screen time and emotional problems in kids: A vicious circle?” from the American Psychological Association. One of the things the article said is “The study revealed that the more children engaged with electronic screens, the more likely they were to develop socioemotional problems… Conversely, children experiencing socioemotional problems were found to be more likely to turn to screens as a coping mechanism.”
Know what else is unfortunate about being too attached to technology? It can train your mind to seek out instant gratification from things (since you are able to gain instant access to so much information and entertainment) — and that can teach you to be supremely entitled and very ungrateful.
This is why I will forever-and-a-day side with interior designers who say that bedrooms are for sex and sleep ONLY. What is the tie-in? Well, if you use that room in your house for two things only, that teaches you to honor and respect those two things more. You know that when you are walking into your bedroom, there is copulation, rest, or both that is going to happen — no more, no less. And that can make you want to decorate the room with this in mind, be intentional about the kind of attitude and energy that you bring into that space — and cause you to treat your partner in a way that welcomes real and lasting intimacy for you both.
Yeah, if all that is on your mind is sex and sleep, you will choose to cultivate those moments only in there…and that can make you even more grateful, not just to the sleep and sex…but your bedroom overall, since you haven’t also turned it into an office, fun room and second sleep room for your kids and pets and another spot to be surfing the web all night long. Just sayin’.
Nothing about social media or the internet as a whole encourages you to “stay in the moment,” it beckons you to absorb as much as you possibly can in record time. And that is just one more way to drain yourself instead of relaxing and taking each moment as it comes. Prove me wrong.
6. You Can Keep Things in (Better) Perspective
GiphyThe late comedian George Carlin once said, “Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.” I really like that quote because it’s a reminder that, at the end of the day, some things aren’t right or wrong; they are simply your perspective. And that’s why I encourage a lot of my clients, whenever they are discussing, debating or disagreeing with their spouse to not say, “That’s not true” but to instead reply with, “I see it differently.” It takes the ego out, and people can always hear and receive differently when humility walks into the room.
And yes, when you are determined to remain in the moment, it can help you to fine-tune your perspective. For instance, say that you are having a conversation with someone who hurt your feelings, and they are apologizing. If you stay in the past (which isn’t in the moment), you will trigger those same emotions that may make it difficult to forgive them. If you jump too far into the future, you might create problems (via hypothetical scenarios) that don’t exist by worrying about what could happen if the same thing happens again. If you remain in the present, though, you can honor how you feel in the here and now of it all and move based on that energy alone.
You’d be amazed at how much your perspective shifts based on whether or not you remain in the moment. If you don’t believe me, try it out. Hop in the comments and let me know how it played out.
7. Life Becomes More Complete
GiphyHmph. It’s kind of wild how my first comment included a Scripture, and this last one is about to as well. Hebrews 13:5(NKJV) says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.” Being content means being “satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.”
Now, does this mean that it’s wrong to want a new car, or a different job, or a spouse and kids someday? Of course, not. Yet as we wrap this up, it is a verse that speaks to — yep, you guessed it — staying in the moment because if you’re so caught up in “the next thing,” it can cause you to miss out on what you already have going on right now.
I promise you that if you really concentrate on being satisfied with what you already have, that can make you see all that you’ve got — and it’s probably a lot more than you realize. And when you’re in that mindset, it tends to make life feel more complete. You’ve got provision. You’ve got some good friends. You’re in your right mind. There are areas of your life that are “lacking nothing,” which is what complete means. You can also be at peace — and guess what one definition of the Hebrew word for peace (which is shalom) is? COMPLETE. Full circle.
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Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Author Marianne Williamson once said, “The present moment, if you think about it, is the only time there is. No matter what time it is, it is always now.” Author Eckhart Tolle once said, “Always say 'yes' to the present moment... Surrender to what is. Say 'yes' to life — and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.”
All of these are spot-on because, at the end of the day, the gift of the present is all that you have.
By remaining in the moment, that is how to make the absolute most of it.
Please make sure that you do.
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