Healing rituals are key to thriving in this human experience. If you are not regulating your emotions, taking the time to process, and giving your spirit time to renew and heal, then you are often carrying emotional heaviness from one experience to the next. Healing rituals are a way to give your mind, body, and soul the attention it needs and craves, and to put yourself in a better position to live your best life. When you take the time to heal within, positive transformations occur without.
The Best Healing Rituals Based On Your Zodiac Sign
When it comes to the best healing rituals for your zodiac sign, you want to especially take a look at the element that is more dominant in your birth chart. An earth sign or earth-dominant sign is going to thrive in healing experiences that involve Mother Earth and rituals that get them grounded such as yoga, hiking, placing their bare feet on the Earth, or "earthing." Being out in nature and doing grounding rituals are what best serve them. A fire sign, on the other hand, works well with fire energy such as candles and creativity, and with rituals that get their body moving and energy flowing.
Knowing what works best for you and your emotional and physical experience in life will help you on your healing journey, and below are some healing rituals for your zodiac sign to try sometime. Take what resonates, and listen to the guidance of your soul.
Healing Rituals for Aries
A good healing ritual for Aries involves activity and something to get your energy moving. Going for a hike with a nice view at the end of it is the perfect healing ritual for you. You'll get your exercise and spend time taking your mind away from anything heavy by being in the moment. Since you are a goal-oriented sign and flow well with things that make you feel more accomplished, taking a scenic hike is the perfect experience for you to unwind and connect with the body.
Healing Rituals for Taurus
A guided meditation in mother nature would serve a Taurus well. As an earth sign, the best healing rituals for you involve being in nature. Just breathing that air and having your feet touch the earth is a healing experience in and of itself, but doing something like meditation or yoga in this atmosphere is even more transcendent. Allowing your body to ground itself with Mother Earth, feeling your connection to all that is, and breathing fresh air is a good setup to heal. As a Taurus, you should get outside for your healing rituals.
Healing Rituals for Gemini
A Gemini’s healing journey involves releasing any clutter in the mind. As a Gemini, you need space to mentally decompress and get what you are feeling or thinking out. You don't hold things in, but if you are hurting that bad, you will carry a lot of that within out of fear of being too deep or vulnerable with others. A good healing ritual for Gemini is to talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or confidant who will give you the floor and allow you to release without judgment or interruption. Healing for you is about letting go.
Healing Rituals for Cancer
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A relaxing, candlelit bath is a healing ritual that serves Cancer well. Healing for you is about taking the time to regulate your emotions, coming back to your center, and feeling a sense of calmness in your life. Being a water sign, rituals that involve water energy are fulfilling for your soul. Add in some of your favorite crystals, flowers, essential oils, a book, or some relaxing music, and you are set for a healing and therapeutic experience. Your healing ritual should involve something that allows your emotions to flow, and a space where you feel safe, like your home.
Healing Rituals for Leo
Healing for Leo is all about getting back to feeling like themselves again. Oftentimes when you feel the need to heal or get back to your center, it’s coming from a place of feeling outside of yourself or not connected to who you are. A healing experience and ritual for Leo would be to stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I love you” or other motivating daily rituals every day. Being face to face with yourself and looking at the reflection before you helps you tap into the depths of your soul, and is a space to give yourself the utmost love.
Healing Rituals for Virgo
A good healing ritual for a Virgo would be to go to a flower market or connect with the healing energy of the flowers. Flowers exude an energy of beauty, healing, softness, allowing, forgiveness and love. The saying “Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses,” is perfect for a Virgo as you can get so lost in the details and the day-to-day that you forget to be in the moment and sit in gratitude with what is. You can connect with the healing energy of flowers by creating a bouquet, taking a bath with flowers, lighting a candle surrounded by your favorite flowers, putting flower essence essential oils on, being around flowers, and quite literally smelling the roses.
Healing Rituals for Libra
Drinking tea is a special healing ritual for Libra. Tea is calming, tea is peaceful, and tea is also great to have over a conversation, which is also another healing ritual for Libra. Some cultures and practices even use the leaves of tea as a way to do readings and foretell the future. Not to mention the health benefits of drinking tea for the body, a simple cup of tea is the perfect ritual for Libra to enjoy something nice for themselves and allow your thoughts to catch up with your body. A Libra can tend to be focused on things that are happening outside of themselves, and enjoying a nice cup of tea can be the perfect healing ritual for Libra to take a moment and find your balance again.
Healing Rituals for Scorpio
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Healing for a Scorpio is a deep and transformative experience. Your life is all about evolving on your journey, and you tend to come out of tough experiences in an even better position than before. You take your healing and personal evolution seriously, but you also tend to be a sign that bottles up all of your emotions before it’s too late. A good healing ritual for a Scorpio involves acts of letting go. On a Full Moon, a Scorpio should write down all of the things you are looking to let go of. Write down emotions, past experiences, negative people, and old objects of affection that are now a sour memory. Then get a white candle and burn the piece of paper (safely) while focusing on lovingly letting go of those things.
Healing Rituals for Sagittarius
Reading a book, creating art, or journaling your thoughts are all good healing rituals for Sagittarius. Creating something out of nothing gets you in an enlightened and joyful mood, and brings the right circumstances for inner clarity. Even healing for Sagittarius needs to be a fun experience or you will get bored and try something else. Putting a whole bunch of colors before them, a pen and paper, or an enticing book, allows Sagittarius to remember the bigger picture and allow enough space from your challenges to believe in something better.
Healing Rituals for Capricorn
Shadow work is a beneficial healing ritual for Capricorn. Now, shadow work is serious business and requires you to get very real with yourself, but this sense of straight-to-the-point, let’s get to the bottom-of-it attitude involved in shadow work is perfect for an earthy Capricorn. Shadow work can be done through meditation or with someone licensed in the work, and by working with your unconscious mind to uncover repressed emotions, past trauma, or aspects of yourself that you keep hidden. This is a very healing and cathartic experience, but as with all spiritual awakenings, there is an aspect to it that can feel uncomfortable as well. There are different approaches to shadow work, and it's about finding out what works for you here.
Healing Rituals for Aquarius
A good healing ritual for an Aquarius would be to pull an oracle card for spiritual guidance or to get an oracle card reading. Oracle cards are different from tarot cards as you tend to be a lighter experience, and you are also more about giving divine guidance rather than foretelling the future. Not only do you get to recognize how strong your intuition is in the process, but it also helps you remember that life is so much bigger than a lot of things that get us tied up.
Healing Rituals for Pisces
A good healing ritual for a Pisces is to do an energy cleanse. You tend to carry a lot of the emotions and experiences of others in your auric field, as you are a highly compassionate and intuitive soul and pick up on a lot. You should take energy clearing and healing very seriously in your life, and always make sure you are clearing your energy. Burning incense, rosemary, cedar, and juniper is a way to cleanse the body. You can also visualize a white healing light surrounding your body.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And honestly, the holiday season isn’t exempt from this. I know from personal experience because, as someone who hasn’t observed any for many years now (without one regret), you’d be amazed by all of the theories that I’ve heard as to why that is the case. SMDH.
Chile, you don’t have the time and I don’t have the space to get into all of that nonsense. For now, I just want to provide a silver lining from my having to endure other people’s yapping by letting those of you who may not be super enthusiastic about the holidays this year (or any year) either that there is nothing wrong with that — or with you.
I’ll break down why and how I’ve come to that conclusion.
Not Being “on-10” Doesn’t Make You a Grinch
GiphyHonestly, I have some pretty solid memories about Christmastime. Because my mother grew up with an alcoholic father (and supreme spiritual hypocrite), she was very emotionally tied to the holiday because it was the only time that she recalled having real peace in her home. And so, we did the Christmas thing, pretty much to the hilt — fresh Christmas trees, baking Christmas-themed desserts, watching holiday movies, going caroling, stringing popcorn…you name it.
It wasn’t until I became an adult and I started doing research on the origin stories of holidays (check out “The History of Christmas” if you don’t already know about it), in general, that I became more and more detached. Plus, as a seventh-day Sabbath observer (Exodus 20:8-11, Hebrews 4, Matthew 28:1) — every Friday sunset through Saturday sunset was like a holiday in certain ways to me, so I never really “lived” for traditional calendar ones.
That doesn’t mean that I am all "Bah humbug" to folks who are totally into the holiday, though. For instance, my godchildren’s father acts like Christmas is a drug for him and so anything Christmas-like that he can think of is his fix. And although the girls (6 and 14) know that I don’t observe, I am good for getting them a “cold weather present” usually around the time the temps drop (in October) instead of an actual Christmas gift. And although I usually pass on hanging out with folks on Christmas Day, I’ll help bake a cookie or two in the days leading up to it.
So yeah, the first thing that folks who are pretty “meh” about Christmas need to be reminded of is that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make you a Grinch. If you recall the Grinch’s story, he did have some trauma and so he took it out on Christmas. Meanwhile, most of us who can take or leave the holidays, we aren’t “mad”…we’re just…for the most part…disinterested. The rest of y’all “do you,” though. And we mean that sincerely.
Not Being Thrilled Doesn’t Mean That You’re Depressed Either
GiphyI’ve shared before that there is someone in my world who gets so excited about Christmas that I almost want to see if there is a disorder linked to it. LOL. I mean from the start of October on, you are going to hear about her Christmas plans, plus, you are going to start seeing holiday décor up in her house — and she’s always been that way.
Because she knows that “I’m good” on Christmas, there have been times when she’s asked me if it’s because my parents divorced when I was young or if it’s because my family lives overseas or if it’s because I am not married and never had children. Shellie, you’re way too excited for your birthday for you to just…not care about Christmas. I think you might be suppressing something.
Good lord, girl. LOL. I’m excited for birthdays because another year of life in my right mind is a blessing. Christmas, personally, doesn’t make a ton of sense to me (especially to be spending a lot of cents) and so, I’ll pass. It’s really not any deeper than that. Besides, it’s not like I’m sitting in the dark somewhere on Christmas Day rocking back and forth in a corner. If anything, I really appreciate how quiet the world seems to be (both online and off) while everyone else is doing their thing. THANK YOU.
So yeah, if Christmas — or the holiday season, period — doesn’t have you jumping up and down, don’t let other people’s enthusiasm gaslight you into thinking that you should see a therapist. That said, for the record, if someone has mentioned depression to you, here are some signs that mental health professionals say are associated with holiday-related depression:
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Trouble sleeping
- Anxiety
- Tension
- Internalized frustration
- Feeling lonely and isolated
- Not doing any of the things that you typically enjoy
Do you see not wanting to go to a holiday party, opting out of Christmas shopping with a bunch of friends or preferring to not have any Christmas decorations up in your house on the list? Yeah, me neither. Moral to the story: Please don’t let people get you down by trying to manipulate you into thinking that if you aren’t like them, something must be wrong with you. During the holiday seasons or otherwise, chile.
Use This Time (Unapologetically) for Yourself
GiphyRemember how I just said that one of the things I damn near adore about Christmas is, since everyone is focused on their own families, I can get some real quality time to myself? Although a lot of things are closed on Christmas Day, you can still order a favorite meal the day before, turn off your phone and sleep in on Christmas Day and, if you want to get out and about — I don’t know about y’all but one of my favorite things is to go to the movies alone and movie theaters are always open on Christmas.
You know, I’ve shared before that I once interviewed a Jewish woman who was married to a Christian man. Together, they observe Chrismukkah and there is something that she said about it that has always stayed with me (paraphrased): “I don’t believe in Christmas but anything that can bring peace, joy and goodwill to humanity, even for a day, that is something that I can get behind.” I agree. And sometimes, what we need to remind ourselves is we need to set aside time to bring peace, joy and goodwill to ourselves. Use the holiday season to do that, if nothing else. You won’t regret it.
Do Private Things More than Public Ones
GiphyEven beyond Christmas, specifically, what if the entire holiday season is something that you’re pretty ho-hum about because things like mall traffic, stressed out relatives and the busyness of it all aren’t your favorite things? My two cents would be to not put your head under the covers and just wait for January 2 to arrive. Instead, opt out of big celebrations and do “calmer and quieter” things with some of your favorite people.
Since pretty much from a couple of days before Christmas until kids go back to school, folks are not on their “usual schedule,” go to brunch with your favorite aunt (or uncle), host a sleepover with a couple of girlfriends and/or Zoom one of your buddies to create vision boards for the new year.
Listen, just because you may not be in the traditional holiday spirit, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take advantage of the time that it offers for you to do some quality things with people you care about. Just you and them. No one else.
Create Your Own Traditions
GiphyNot into the 12 Days of Christmas? Pamper yourself for the week leading into the New Year. Don’t want a Christmas tree? Have some roses or poinsettias sent to your house. Couldn’t care less about a ball dropping on New Year’s Eve? Rent out a huge Airbnb New Year’s Eve and enjoy a change of scenery.
Y’all, just because the holiday season comes with its own traditions, there is no written rule which says that you have to follow them — or that you can’t come up with some of your own. Hell, if you put enough thought into this tip, you might look up and realize that you absolutely adore this time of year — just for a totally different set of reasons than most. Beautiful.
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