The subject of cancer is one that always hits a super-sensitive sore spot for me. I've lost several women in my family, who were very dear to me, to breast cancer, and while I can always remember them in my heart, reminiscing on their last days and reliving the disappointment about how I'll never get the chance to share pivotal experiences with them in my adulthood still hurts.
And I'm not alone: Between 1999 and 2020, 909,488 Black people died from complications of breast cancer, the CDC reports, devastating their families psychologically and financially. Non-Hispanic Black women have the highest death rates for this type of cancer as well, and it's not just something that hits middle-aged or elderly women, either. The Breast Cancer Research Association notes that young Black women (under 50) have double the mortality rate of young white women for breast cancer.
And that's not the only type of cancer that disproportionately affects us. Overall more than 224,000 new cancer deaths are expected this year, with more than 73,000 of those occurring among Black people, according to the American Cancer Society. Black women are twice as likely to die from uterine cancer as white women, the ACS reports, and we are more likely to be diagnosed with stomach, liver, and pancreatic cancer. While the reasons for the disparity of diagnosis and deaths are complex (and, according to research, "likely rooted in systemic racism" that affects access to quality care, information, resources, and support), there are ways we can work toward prevention and higher survival rates.
All of these stats can seem daunting, but there's a flip side of cancer that entails prevention methods, survival, redemption, self-love, and healing. It's been proven that early detection is linked to high survival rates, and the path to that is routine screenings and tests.
Experts recommend getting educated on the terminology and tests associated with cancers, embracing early detection methods for cancers that disproportionately impact Black women, finding out about your risks related to lifestyle and family history, keeping up with your monthly, bi-annually, and/or yearly check-ups (including overall physicals and pap smears,) and working to actively lead an overall healthy life.
For this year's World Cancer Day, which falls on February 4, let's take a look back at the insights of cancer survivors who have shared their stories with xoNecole over the years, from diagnosis to acceptance, to self-care and more:
Lindsey Walker on Using Your Voice and Offering Yourself Grace
"As for me, I learned to listen to myself and my body. I learned to put myself first and care less about what others had to say about me, my life, and my decisions. I learned to love myself for who I am and be gracious to myself. I'd spent most of my life trying to fit into this box that I was never meant to fit in the first place. I learned to give myself permission to be whoever I needed to be for me. And I learned that I, Lindsey Walker, can defeat all of my burdens. Even if it's cancer."
"Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself, if you feel that something is wrong, despite the doctor's orders, say something. And say something yesterday. It can make all the difference in the world. It could save your life."
Natalie Wilson on Coping With Surgeries and Loving Her Body
"Having my breasts are no doubt a physical reflection of my womanhood, but it's not a reflection of my core being as a woman. I've learned a lot more this time around. I've reevaluated everything in my life, again, such as my relationships, my goals, my stressors, my spirituality, my health."
"I am still beautiful, inside and out. It's been a physical and emotional journey, and I am still recovering, and all the while I've done it with the help of God, my family, friends, inner strength, courage, and... a little bit of lipstick."
(Read her full story on being diagnosed with and surviving breast cancer here.)
Erica Fraser on Living Life to the Fullest No Matter What
"After my diagnosis, I promised myself I wouldn't stop going after the things I wanted in life. I've gotten a better job, added two great people to my friendship circle, developed some new creative outlets, had many fun nights dancing awkwardly in DC, and made many memories with dope people. Good things are happening. And every time they happen, I lean into them. Fully."
"When joy is present, I reach out and grab it. When grief is present, I try to let myself sit in it."
"I have to have faith that I can make it through the parts of life that will be beautiful and the parts of life that will be terrifying because this is what it means to live a full life."
(Read her full story of being diagnosed with and surviving thyroid cancer here.)
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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