Still Waiting To Exhale? 4 Steps To Let That Ish Go
As people, and especially black women, we navigate through very uniquely painful and isolating experiences on a daily basis. And as a result, we are told to get over it and let that ish go, but does anyone really tell us how?
The reality of getting over your baggage is that there is no way to truly get over it, instead, we have to sort through it. The process is not easy, and some of us go our whole lives avoiding the cleansing process. But I'm here to tell you, that doesn't have to be you. Channel your inner warrior and fight for your happiness!
Here are four ways that you can work towards clearing some of your blocked energy today.
1. Recognize that whatever pain you are holding onto is probably not your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal.
We all feel pain, and in the moment, we all make a very important decision: whether or not to take our pain out on others. The baggage that we lug around on a daily basis is often stemmed from feelings of being victimized, which are very real and valid feelings to have. Understand that whatever negative experiences you've had with others most likely stems from another person projecting their pain, shortcomings, and confusion onto you.
But if you are walking around in pain waiting on someone to fix you, you are wasting your time and doing yourself a disservice. Healing is hard work, and often we get so stuck in the stage of venting where we want to express our pain and disappointment, without realizing that we have the power to heal ourselves. You can go the gym, drink your water, and take your vitamins but if you don't deal with the ish going on in your heart and head, you're still going to be unhealthy. Do you work!
2. Learn how to accept apologies that you did not receive.
Often we hold on to past hurt simply because we did not get the apology that we yearn for. In our heads, we imagine that if a person just would say, "I'm sorry" and give you some type of explanation as to why things happen the way they did, we would be able to move on. Though that would be lovely, with that mindset, you are putting your happiness in another person's hands and that is giving away too much of your power.
Instead, shift your attention to validating yourself.
Apologize to yourself for holding onto negative energy, ask for forgiveness (internally) for any pain you may have caused yourself and others while you were in pain. Thank that past hurt for making you stronger and wiser than you were before and then say, "I love you." "I love you" is such a loaded statement that pertains to the love that you have for yourself and others. If you are holding onto any resentment or negative feeling towards another person, understand it is because deep down you have feelings of love for them and they may have disappointed you, but we all have moments when we fail to meet the expectations of the people we love. "I'm sorry, I forgive you, thank you, I love you" is an affirmation that will help you vibrate at a more positive frequency, have compassion for yourself and others, and move forward.
3. Purge those negative emotions into a creative outlet.
If writing your feelings down is cathartic for you, perhaps write a letter to your perceived source of pain and get it all out. Sing a song dedicated to it, choreograph a dance, create a spoken word piece, paint about it, it does not matter just make sure that it is a healthy outlet. Right now, we are in an epidemic of drug and alcohol abuse because we are trying to mask the pain with substances. We are in debt disguing our pain in the form of "living our best life" by buying material things that we cannot afford and taking trips to places we cannot be mentally present during because we are so preoccupied with the hurt deep inside.
We get degrees to prove to that ugly feeling of inadequacy inside "I am good enough." But until you run towards your pain, instead of away from it, will you not heal it. These outlets can be something you keep to yourself, or you share with others. You can write a letter, read it, cry, and burn it. Or you could share it with the person you want to address. It's up to you, just make sure whichever method you are using is coming from a place of empowerment and self-validation, instead of looking for a reaction to others.
4. Pull the curtains back and let the light of love heal your darkness.
Shame grows in the dark and the moment you bring your struggles out into the light, they don't seem as big and bad as they did before. Speak your pain to someone that you know loves you and will try their best to understand (perhaps a friend or family member), and expose it to a person that has the tools to help you: a therapist. You will be pleasantly surprised how many of your loved ones are going through or have gone through similar painful events as you.
Allow the universe to show you that you are not alone.
Remember that you've already gotten through the some of the most hardest moments of your life and you are still here. Write your way through it, sing your way through it, dance your way through it, build your way through it, cry your way through it, paint your way through it, draw your way through it, love your way through it, smile your way through it - just make sure you are breathing your way through it, and you will get through it.
Featured image by Getty Images
New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
If there’s one part of the face that seems to be the most vexing to correct, it’s the under eyes.
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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Featured image by blackCAT/Getty Images