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All that most of us want out of life is to be happy. *Cue Kirk Franklin*


As simple as it sounds, why does it seem so hard? It feels like this lifelong journey that makes it almost impossible to know if we've arrived. Yes, there are moments that make us happy, from good food to even greater friends and family. But in general, are we really happy with our day to day lives?

Sometimes we don't realize that we're not happy until we face an obstacle and wonder why it took such an emotional toll on us.

For me, I had to evaluate several aspects of my life. I was a people pleaser who cared way too much about what other people thought, and I was cock-blocking myself from living my best life. It wasn't until I got to a point where I intentionally started embracing a happier life that I started to actually live one.

1.What Makes You Happy? Do That.

Think about the moments when you were at your happiest in life. What were doing? What made you laugh? What was it about those moments that you enjoyed?

Whatever it is, do more of that.

As much as we want it to, happiness doesn't just come to us whenever we want, or even whenever we need it. Thank God for the unexpected and pleasant surprises that make us happy, but we have to be intentional about going after what we know will make us smile and laugh. Taking advantage of even the smallest moments that put a smile on your face and doing more of it will make a world of difference in your happiness.

2.Know That You Deserve It 

You know those times when we cheer on other people like, "Yaasss! Go bestfriend, that's my bestfriend!"?

Is it just me or is it really hard to do this for ourselves? To some, having pride is somehow associated with being conceited. In reality, it's not bad to cheer yourself on at all. Not doing it brings on this subconscious theme that we don't deserve good things like other people do. This can definitely mess with your happiness.

So whether it's those small moments like when your eyebrows finally come out the way you've been practicing, or major life changing moments like getting engaged or earning a major promotion at work, don't hesitate to let yourself know, "She did that!" just like you would for anyone else. Start doing this and watch your happiness flourish.

3.Don’t Focus On Things You Can’t Change

The popular serenity saying about knowing the difference between the things you can and cannot change is some real stuff.

A lot of times the frustration out of life comes from trying to change things that we simply can't and then focusing on and complaining about it. I can't lie, a lot of the times it feels good in the moment to have a vent session. But if you come out of it feeling the same with no solution, it does more harm to your happiness than good.

The more we talk about a situation or person we can't stand, the worse that situation will seem to be. And the only thing that's getting impacted is your happiness. I've had to learn myself that the sooner we come to terms with what a situation really is, and that we have no power to change it, the happier we'll be.

To be clear, this doesn't apply to a toxic situation or even social change that we're continuing to strive toward.

4.Help Make Others Happy

It's like when you're taking a picture of a group of people and smile behind the camera as if you're actually in the snapshot. There's just something about putting a smile on someone else's face that makes us happy.

Of course, there's a heavy line between this and just living for other people and completely forgetting about yourself. It's really about service and thinking of ourselves less. As important as our own happiness is to our well-being, it's also essential to take moments to get outside of ourselves and invest in someone else's happiness. Doing this really has a crazy way of boosting your own joy.

5.Know That Comparison Kills

Clearly not literally, but comparison does have the potential to kill your happiness and your dreams. There have been so many times where I'm completely content with where I am in life until I scroll on social media and see someone around my age (or even younger) making moves that I haven't even fathomed. Yes, I can celebrate them, clap it up, and put the heart emojis under their posts. But at times, it makes me feel like I'm supposed to be doing more.

In actuality, I know I'm right where I need to be.

Still, when comparison creeps in, it can make anyone question so many things and have us going in a direction that's not for us. I've realized that celebrating others, especially women, when they reach their goals and do amazing things, doesn't mean I have to try and get in their lane. It actually makes me feel more confident about my own.

In essence, realizing the toxicity of comparison and being intentional about not letting it get the best of you, is essential to being happy.

6.Phone A Friend

Having a close-knit circle of friends and relationships is a major key to your happiness. They let you know you're not doing this thing called life alone.

As humans, we thrive off of friendships and relationships. Even if you're not a people-person, everyone needs at least a couple of good friends they can talk to about anything. With friends and family, you experience so many ups and downs together. But having them with you during the down moments and vice versa helps you live a happier life.

7.Live For YOUR Happiness

Big ups to all my people pleasers. I can't even say this used to be me because I still legit struggle. Making decisions that I know are best for me, that people who are close to me have an issue with, is not easy at all.

But at the same time, I know I'm not going to be completely happy until I do what I want in life. Whether it's a career, or even eating a burger, if it's not something that's dangerous and harmful to you, who cares what anyone else thinks about it? Life is just way too short to live it for other people; especially in making decisions you don't want to, just to make others happy.

When it comes to your own life, your happiness is what matters the most.

Featured image by Giphy

 

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