This Millennial Influencer Believes The Key To Online Success Is To 'Resonate'
"Influencer" is a buzzword that has been iterated and reiterated time and time again as social media has altered the way we receive news, become put on to brands, and like what we like.
Alex Wolf is one of the many millennial influencers out there, and placing her stamp on the social media game one post at a time and with masterful creations like her book Resonate: For Anyone Who Wants To Build An Audience. What some of you might not know, the award-winning author has been on the internet for as long as she can remember, even before it developed into the beast it is today. Alex began her brand-building prowess with not-so-humble beginnings as the previous founder of Boss Babe, the well-known mecca for all things entrepreneurial (and with an incomparable female-focused following to match).
Alex WolfThe Culture Supplier
Shortly after the brand took off, Alex realized that it just wasn't something that she was passionate about anymore and opted to sell the business. She chose to focus on things that mattered to her, like human connection and how the advancements of technology affect it. In her book, Alex provides a detailed breakdown on how social media culture has contributed to the resounding feeling of loneliness and why authenticity will always be in. "If you use it (social media) the way we are conditioned to now, to only show off and follow people broadcasting the most flattering moments of life, the sensation of loneliness will crawl right over you like a demon," Alex tells xoNecole.
For her, one's power in the digital age will always lie in their ability to resonate.
Alex Wolf
Resonate
No matter how advanced the algorithms of the Internet become, they just can't seem to master the science of resonating connection. Businesses like Snapchat create ads done in poor taste that actually appeal to none of our interests. And in attempts to compete with the big dogs we, the artists, the influencers, the people, curate perfect feeds to create magazine-worthy aesthetics and drop quotes from dead poets that pair perfectly with an artsy picture of oranges (swiped from Pinterest of course). I'm not judging, I've done it too. The corporate rat race has been replaced with a social media rat race of sorts.
We pine over likes and followers and attend webinars on "engagement"; but it seems the more we post and scroll, the lonelier we feel. Are we missing the whole point? "To be alive is to share together the experience of being human – we all get to feel what it's like to want, to wish, to have, to lose. The more we remember that, the less we'll panic when it feels like we're going through this alone," Alex shares.
Somehow we've allowed these screens and the images on them to isolate us into believing that everyone else is exempt from the daily human struggle to live, freely and happily. The most popular and influential of influencers are not those that portray an attitude of perfection, but rather the Luvvies and the Issa Raes of the world that trade in "perfection" for "authenticity." In her book Resonate, Alex notes that we can get away with skipping some of the most popular books on marketing if you replace them with ones on psychology and anthropology.
Artists like Cardi B built their fan bases simply by being themselves - unfiltered, omitting the need for marketing strategies and overly-produced social media accounts. They hop on a live with the babies running around in the background and do what they do. Their audiences connects with them simply because they can relate and see themselves in the stories they tell through their art.
Resonating connections are fostered and created from those "Oh, you too girl?" moments. The split second where you pause and nod in agreement, realizing that someone else gets it. The involuntary "mmmph" you let out when taking in the latest fire mixtape with punch lines so vivid that they literally punch you in the gut. It's that same resonating connection that created a stan out of Stan (think 2000 Eminem).
Alex reminds us that it's about being compassionate with ourselves about our truths, and to not just wear our truths on the inside, but outside as well. "It works as signage. Showing how accommodating you are with your humanness, which will attract others who will be accommodating with it as well."
Success happens when you give people no choice but to accept you as you are.
Creatives and Authenticity
The 26-year-old Brooklyn native has managed to navigate adulting thus far without a "real" job. For that, her inclination towards creativity receives all the blame. And by extension, as a creative, she believes that the concept of "professionalism" is beside the point when trying to change the world or be authentic. She's done her fair share of research, in combination with lived experience, and concludes that much of how the world runs has nothing to do with professionalism. While she isn't suggesting that we walk around cursing like a sailor, rocking your name chain and Jordans, she is asking that if that's who you are, please bring her into the room with you when you decide that you're ready to stake your claim in the world and find your tribe.
Speaking of our tribe, we all have that friend with the painfully dope work who refuses to put themselves out there and maximize their potential. In Resonate, Alex refers to this period in the creative career path as the Starving Artist Phase – you know the stage where you associate making money with being evil, as if there is some type of honor in struggling because you're surviving off your last gig for the next three months. As stated by philosopher Alan Watts, there's a paradigm shift that has to take place where we realize that "money is a system of 'cosmic bookkeeping'."
It's easy to see how and why this would confuse a creative whose sole mission is to simply make dope ish, but Alex wants us to remember that the more we realize what it actually is, the less intimidating it becomes. You can still create authentically and run a profitable business while remaining free.
Alex Wolf
Building Audiences
"The way to build an audience will never change as long as the audience you're trying to build is made up of human beings." - Resonate, Alex Wolf
When we think of building an audience, whether for professional purposes or simply for enjoyment, Alex suggests we look at the last few screenshots in our phones - the memes and images we save simply because of how they made us feel. If we hope to create lasting connection, we should first ask ourselves, "Would anyone care to save this?"
We should create with passion and deliver so much value that whatever it is you create would never be easily disposed of. "It should be obvious through your effort that things like this are too nice. They were made deliberately, [not] to be thrown away or forgotten about."
Whatever it is that we put out into the world should cause our audiences to ask, "Who is this girl?" After all, we are the generation of the search engine. When you produce something meaningful, the people that like and buy our stuff feel compelled to share our work all on their own. We can omit the tacky marketing ploys and just create. Alex mentions that this approach may not automatically translate into followers and likes, but it will allow you to build a community that engages and genuinely enjoys what it is that you produce. "Don't underestimate the extent humans are willing to explore the massive complexities of the world just to find bits and pieces of them."
And now that you've built something for the people, you can sit back and watch that one follower grow to a clump of followers, and eventually develop into a cluster of followers that become a fully bloomed audience. The idea eventually becomes popular enough to exist as a separate entity and "ideas don't die," Alex emphasizes.
When we really find something that we absolutely love, we can't resist the urge to share and the internet as we know it has given us the tools to do so with the click of a button.
Alex's message as a branding afficianado is clear – stop panicking over followers. Follower counts and likes shouldn't be used as the new metric system to measure one's impact and significance. All you really need is a few people that feel you.
One resonating connection is still connection.
To keep up with Alex, be sure to give her a follow on Instagram. Purchase her book here.
- How To Make Money Online, Ways To Earn Income - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Danielle Smith is a Toronto-based Personal Development Junkie on the gram @youbettaglowgirl. She keeps her hands full as a Writer, Speaker, Stylist & Non-Profit Founder, all while doing her most important job as a full-time mama of one. Marching to the beat of her own drum and a playlist of her favourite 90s R&B, she's blazed a path of her own.
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Issa Rae On No Longer Being The 'Awkward Black Girl': 'I'm Awkwardly Confident'
Issa Rae has built her career on being the awkward Black girl, leading her to notoriety and astronomical, lucrative deals. Years later, however, that narrative may be changing. The multifaceted actress first won our hearts years ago with her web series, The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl, in 2011, and she further capitalized off the name with her autobiography. When she premiered her HBO (Max) series Insecurein 2016, it too had the same awkward Black girl theme as her character tried to navigate friends, family, and romantic relationships.
But it’s not just an on-screen persona; the Rap Sh!t executive producer has shared that she is the same way in real life and overall has inspired a category of Black women who, too, identify as the awkward Black girl. Last week, Issa joined Rap Sh!t co-stars KaMillion and Aida Osman on Sherri and revealed whether she still feels like the awkward Black girl.
“I do, but I feel more confident in that way. You know what’s deeply ironic is that Insecure, doing that made me more confident in myself and what I was doing ‘cause I would distance myself from the character like ‘girl, she is stupid,’” she joked. “I’ve come such a long way, you know, still making dumb decisions, but being able to do something like that and work with people I love and step back and say I did that has just instilled a newfound confidence. So, I’m awkwardly confident.”
As Issa’s empire continues to grow, we are sure to see her continue to grow personally and inspire a generation with her realness and relatability.
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Feature image by Emma McIntyre/WireImage for Parkwood