I’ve shared before, throughout the years that, although holidays aren’t exactly my thing, as a marriage life coach of over 20 years at this point, there is a theory about the origin of Valentine’s Day that I can low-key get down with. Legend has it that a priest from way back in the day ultimately became a martyr for marrying couples during a season of war (while Emperor Claudius II was ruling). Since it was believed that husbands didn’t make good soldiers, men weren’t allowed to marry during that time. St. Valentine didn’t care, though and he ultimately lost his life because of it.
Whether folks consciously realize it or not, that’s probably why, whenever the topic of Valentine’s Day comes up, couples immediately come to mind. That’s fair. However — and no, this is not to gaslight you — it can’t be said enough that Valentine’s Day really is (supposed to be) a holiday that celebrates love, in general…not just romantic love. And that’s why I thought that it would be a good idea to provide a quick list of 20 ways that EVERYONE, no matter what their current relational status may be, can embrace and enjoy February 14.
Because love is something that should be acknowledged and amplified whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not. Right? But of course.
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1. Book a spa day.
This year, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, why not work half a day and then spend the other half at a local spa? A facial and massage are two great ways to decompress and pamper yourself as you prepare for whatever weekend plans that you may have — date or not.
2. Or cultivate a spa day at home.
Wanna hold on to those coins? Have a spa day at home. If a part of you is thinking, “That just sounds like a lot of work,” if you’re in a relationship, you and your bae can do it together or, if you’re single, invite a girlfriend over. From prepping to “doing” to clean-up, it’ll be a lot more fun if you’ve got some company around.
3. Get some new lingerie.
Personally, I think that Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to get some new lingerie (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). Whether you plan on being in bed all weekend for the purpose of sex, rest, or both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”), you will feel so much more sensual and attractive in a new babydoll, romper or pair of sexy ass panties.
4. Invest in a new sexy scent.
Last week, while in a home improvement store, two women tried to guess what I was wearing. When one flat-out asked and I said, “I never tell,” she said to her associate, “Girl, she just doesn’t want us smelling like her.” EXACTLY. It’s an essential oil blend that I made up and yes, signature scents have a way of making you feel…beautifully distinctive. So, whether you want to seduce your bae or simply boost your own self-confidence, cop a new sexy scent.Since science says that fragrances also calm, soothe, and cultivate fond memories — you’ve got three more reasons why doing so is an absolute must.
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5. Book a photoshoot.
It’s kind of a shame that, unless I truly have to, I rarely get pictures (professionally) taken. It’s a wise thing to do, though: to see yourself all dolled up, with good lighting and in poses that commemorate where you are in different stages and seasons of your life. That said, in honor of love (including self-love), book a professional photoshoot for yourself, for you and your partner, or with some of your favorite people. Even if it happens later in the year, at least use Valentine’s Day weekend to get the ball to rolling.
6. Have a meal and/or flowers delivered to work.
If you are going to work on Friday, wouldn’t it be nice if someone else had your favorite meal or flowers delivered to your job? 1000 percent. You shouldn’t let that keep you from doing it, though. Or, if you are single, you and one of your friends can make the mutual decision to send each other a meal and/or a bouquet to each other. The “itch gets scratched” either way.
7. Purchase a stone/crystal that symbolizes (self) love.
I’m a fan of certain stones and crystals, mostly because of what they represent and symbolize. And so, whether you’ve got a man or not, treat yourself to some jewelry that represents self-love; ones like rose quartz, moonstone, rhodonite, amethyst, or citrine (for starters). After all, you can’t love others good, until/unless you love yourself…well. Etsy has some awesome customized pieces, by the way.
8. Recreate a favorite date.
If you do happen to be in a relationship, something that I think is very romantic is to recreate your first or favorite date with your partner. It has a way of bringing back butterflies and also creating really special new memories like nothing else will or can. On the flip side, if you’re someone who dates yourself, recreate a great moment from that. Or, if you’re like me and you and your friends go on dates, recreate a top five of one of those. Research says that nostalgia has a way of making our lives feel more meaningful. What better time to emphasize this fact than on a love celebration day?
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9. Or go on a date with friends.
Something that’s pretty awesome about Valentine’s Day is there are restaurant discounts all over the place! And even though a lot of the deals are for two people, if you’re not in a relationship, my advice would be to take some friends and y’all get the “two for” deal(s) that way. A list of some of 2025’s Valentine’s Day restaurant specials is locatedhere.
10. Plan a trip.
Another (potentially) unfortunate thing about Valentine’s Day is far too many people think that they should be “love on steroids” on that day and then it’s okay to half-step on expressing love the rest of the year. NOPE. If anything, Valentine’s Day should remind people to “amplify love” as much as possible. One way of doing that? If you’re in a relationship, plan a romantic vacation together. If you’re single, plan a trip or a girls’ trip. Make a promise that it will happen before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around; then plan (and save) accordingly.
11. Get creative with red wine.
Red is the signature color for Valentine’s Day, mostly because it symbolizes things like love and passion. Since red wine is considered to be an aphrodisiac and it’s great for your health due to all of the antioxidants that are in it, everyone should indulge in a glass while toasting to five things that they love about their partner and/or themselves. After you do that, check out “Why Wine Deserves A Spot In Your Natural Beauty Arsenal” for some other creative ways to implement this popular drink.
12. Have a ball with some dark chocolate.
Speaking of signature stuff, the signature candy for Valentine’s Day? Chocolate. Hands down. That’s why you should get some Hershey’s kisses for yourself, if you do have a bae, get some (eh hem) chocolate paint and, whatever your relational status is, also read, “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe,” so that you don’t have to feel the least bit guilty for indulging.
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13. Design a love-themed vision board.
Vision boards may not be discussed as much as they used to be, oh, say, 10 years ago; however, they still deserve properly placed shout-outs. Because there is data to support that visualization can help people reach their goals, going through the creative process of putting together a vision board can help motivate you, bring forth a sense of clarity, and help to remain focused until your goals are achieved. Does this include when it comes to your love life (or the love life that you wish to have)? Absolutely. Check out “Before You Quit Dating Altogether: Have You Ever Tried 'Vision Board Dating' Before?” for more on that.
14. Make a love-themed playlist.
Something that YouTube does for me that I actually appreciate, is it automatically populates music playlists (based on songs that I select) that I can save and listen to whenever I want. One list, in particular, that I go to often, includes Troop’s “Still in Love;” Cherelle’s “Everything I Miss at Home;” Christopher Williams’s “All I See;” Brandy’s “When You Touch Me;” Force M.D.’s “Tender Love;” Lisa Fischer’s “How Can I Ease the Pain;” and Faith Evans’s “Soon As I Get Home” — and that’s just for starters!
Ain’t nothin’ like listening to an hour’s worth of some of your favorite love jams — either to copulate with (check out “Before You Pull Out Your Playlist, This Is How Music Affects Your Sex Life”) or to fall asleep to on Valentine’s Day. A listening experience that is truly unmatched.
15. Binge-watch romantic movies.
I’m telling y’all — knock Tubi if you want to, but it does have some gems on there from time to time. This past weekend, I checked outThe Number (Issa Rae and some of the Black & Sexy gang…if ya know, ya know) and I cracked up a few times. Anyway, whether you’re cozied up with your man on the couch, you and your long-distance boo or friends decide to throw something like a Hulu or Amazon Watch party (read more about how to here), or you and your cable-knit blanket want to snuggle alone, you can almost never go wrong with watching some rom-coms on Valentine’s Day.
16. Enjoy a (romantic dinner) (possibly at home).
If you’re single, you probably won’t care (at least too much) about waiting 30-60 minutes for a table on Valentine’s Day. If you are in a relationship, though, to avoid all of that nonsense, you might want to either have a romantic dinner delivered to you or make something together at home. When it comes to the second option, don’t knock it. Put on something sexy, listen to some seductive music, and then at least skim through “Here’s How To Make Cooking A Meal Together Sexy (When You Hate To Cook)”. There is something very sensual about preparing aphrodisiac-centered foods, scantily-clad, with your man. Always.
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17. Indulge in something sweet.
If you don’t partake in any of these other suggestions, at least get yourself a pint of your favorite ice cream, a slice of your favorite cake, a couple of donuts, some strawberries, and whipped topping — hell, SOMETHING that is sweet because it is almost criminal to go through an entire Valentine’s Day and your tastebuds didn’t get a little bit of sugar on them. C’mon now.
18. Soak in a rose petal-filled bathtub.
Most grocery stores have rose petals in their floral section, so get some to put into your bathtub. The scent reduces anxiety, the feel helps to soften your skin and if intimacy is on the agenda for the evening, it is a great way to “pregame” your erogenous zones. Just sayin’.
19. Spend the night at a hotel.
A change of scenery. If you’re in a relationship, it can make sex hotter. If you’re not, it’s a cool way to enjoy some time away from your home without spending the kind of cash that you would if you took an actual vacation. Either way, a (nice) hotel room is gonna be a wise Valentine’s Day investment and a major win.
20. Relax. Relate. Release.
Back when I wrote “What To Do When You Don't Know How To Chill Out” and “How To Stop Having A 'Knee-Jerk Reaction' To Everything,” something that I mentioned was the importance of learning how torelax, relate, and release. That said, as I close this out since Valentine’s Day is all about all things love, please make sure to get into that head and heart space by doing ONLY what will relax you, by entertaining ONLY what your mind, body, and spirit can relate to and by releasing whatever isn’t serving you, well, in the love department — choose to ONLY hold onto what is holding onto you.
Whether you’re in a (romantic) relationship or not, it’s the recipe for having a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Trust me, sis. You’ll adore everything about the day if you do.
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Featured image by Anastasiia Krivenok/Getty Images
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