Love & Relationships

Before You Quit Dating Altogether: Have You Ever Tried 'Vision Board Dating' Before?

Once upon a time, while I was on the internet looking for ways to inspire some of my couple clients to keep things both stimulating and exciting in their relationship, I stumbled upon an article on vision boards for couples. After reading through it, I found it to be so fresh and fun that I recommended it to a few people; it seemed to work like a charm.

Then, as I reflected on the countless amount of Instagram and TikTok posts that I’ve seen from single women who basically say that dating is trash and they are starting to lose all hope, I thought about what would happen if they decided to put a twist on the whole couples vision board thing and started vision board dating instead.

And just how in the heck do you “vision board date”? I’m so happy that you would ask. The method to the madness is this: since it’s been reported that a little over 80 percent of small business owners who create vision boards are able to achieve at least half of their own goals, and a little over 75 percent of those same business owners say that vision boards have helped them get to exactly where they envisioned — who says that the same practice can’t bring similar results to one’s dating life? Your dating life?

So, if you’re teetering on becoming hella cynical and not going on any dates in the foreseeable future, humor me and at least read through this first. It could be the “map” that ultimately gets you to where you want to go — as far as dating is concerned.

What Is a Vision Board?


Vision boards are proof that manifesting isn't passive, it's quite active.

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Okay, I’m not starting from this place to come off as patronizing or condescending; meaning, I get that most of you probably know what a vision board is. However, I do think that I should cover the bases, just so that we’re all on the same page about what you can expect from making one for yourself — because contrary to popular belief, there’s no so-called magic in it. Vision boards are all about manifestation, yes — but honestly, manifestation isn’t exactly “magical” either.

Vision boards aren’t based on that passive kind of manifesting that I’ve heard far too many people speak on — you know what I mean, “I’m not going to actively date anymore. I’m going to sit in my bedroom and ‘manifest’ a husband.” Chile, manifesting isn’t passive; it’s quite active. The word speaks to “perceiving something (or one) with a clarity of understanding” and then “proving beyond a shadow of a doubt” that what you saw was indeed the truth. Some synonyms for "manifesting" include "bold," "demonstrate," "reveal," "unmistakable," and "materialize."

So, when it comes to vision boards, they are a tangible tool that helps you do all of the things that I just said. You literally get a collection of images and/or objects together and arrange them in such a way that you are able to better focus on what it is that you want to, well, manifest. The things on your vision board help you to get clarity on what you want and then help you to put a plan into motion, so that you can prove, mostly to yourself, that what you desire is indeed possible.

Traditionally, vision boards are made by clipping out pictures or words and putting them on something like a corkboard or foam board; however, thanks to technology, you can also create a digital vision board, whether it’s through something like Canva (here) or an app (here).

If you want to learn more about how to create a vision board from scratch, check out our article, “Here's How To Take Your Vision Board To The Next Level.”

How Can You Apply Vision Boards to Your Dating Journey?


Before you get started with your vision board dating, ask yourself the important questions.

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Okay, so now that we’ve gotten vision boards, in general, out of the way, how can you apply the overall concept to your dating life? Well, in order to get started, here are some questions that you should ask yourself:

  • What kind of man would you like to date?
  • What types of things do you enjoy doing?
  • What things would you like you and him to have in common?
  • What is an ideal first date to you?
  • What’s your idea of a dream date?
  • What dates speak to your love language?
  • Where are some places that you’ve always wanted to go?
  • What are both your short as well as your long-term goals when it comes to dating?
  • What are some words that you want to apply to your overall dating experience?
  • What would you like to learn about yourself from dating during this season of your life?

Now, based on those 10 things/themes, find words, pictures, quotes, poetry — anything that you can either tack onto a physical board or you can copy and paste onto your digital vision board. Then, commit to spending 30 minutes a week looking at the board, adding to the board, and/or meditating on the board.

Why should meditation become a part of the process? It’s because there is scientific research that supports the fact that consistent and long-term meditation can literally “rewire your brain” by creating new neural connections. As a result, you will be able to reduce your stress levels, release negativity, and bring a greater sense of gratitude into your space.

Something else that meditation is able to do is help you to get rid of any self-doubt that you may have — and all of this can definitely help, greatly when it comes to improving your dating life.

Five Strong Benefits of Vision Board Dating


Vision board dating comes with its fair share of benefits.

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Aight, so even though I think that some surefire benefits of vision board dating have already been provided, I do want to touch on a few more points before you click off of here and create a dating vision board of your own (because that’s exactly what you’re gonna do…right?).

Some other reasons why you should vision board date as soon as possible?

1. Vision board dating can tame your “negativity bias.” It’s something we all have; it’s a natural inclination to see the negative side of things instead of the positive. This is something to take seriously because just like negativity can kill a relationship, it can also hinder you from getting one in the first place. For one thing, there’s research that says negativity can create anxiety levels; that can make it difficult to effectively communicate with others — and without communication, there is no real connection.

2. Vision board dating fuels your imagination. Albert Einstein once said, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." You know, imagining things doesn’t get the full respect that it truly deserves. Research backs that it can help with making you a more curious person, it can help you to socially interact better with others, and it can also help you to become a better problem-solver. So, if you’re sick of lackluster dating experiences, imagine more. If you want to be more open to blind dates and hook-ups from friends, imagine more. If you want to meet your “the one” sooner than later — imagine more.

3. Vision board dating can help to “end the hamster wheel.” What I mean by that is, if you keep basically dating the same kind of man just in a different body, creating a board that isn’t just about your type or preference but is also about knowing who is good FOR you (check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?”) can help you to break that pattern. Find quotes that speak to who is holistically good for you; don’t just clip pictures of those who look good to you. Feel me? Next point.

4. Vision board dating can help you to “raise your own bar.” I don’t mean being unrealistic in your dating expectations; I mean that it can be fun for you to be like, “I really like day trips. I would love to do a couple of road trips to check out some sites with someone this year” and then you specify the sites on your board. It can also help you to clearly articulate some of your desires instead of always putting the pressure on the guy to try and read your mind in order to get you what you want.

5. Vision board dating is how you can reach your ultimate goal(s). Whether this year is all about dating better than you ever have before or ending the year with your own locked-in bae, if you take vision board dating seriously and literally, it can help you to reach those goals as you hone in on exactly what you desire and then meditate on those things. The reason why I say that is because reaching a goal consists, in part, of creating a plan — and a vision board helps you to do just that.


You know, there’s a survey that says that back in 2022, as much as 61 percent of people found dating to be overwhelming. Overwhelmed is about feeling inundated, if not flat-out defeated. And oftentimes, overthinking, dwelling in the past, or putting too much pressure on yourself can lead to feeling overwhelmed when it comes to dating.

Calm those emotions by getting it all out on your vision board.

Because you know what they say: “If you build it, he will come.” #wink

Now get off of this thing and get to creating, sis. And definitely keep us posted!

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Featured image by mihailomilovanovic/Getty Images



Stacey and Dalen Spratt

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.


Y’all, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Personally, I am counting down the days until the obsession with resembling Mr. Snuffleupagus (the real ones know) goes away. Not that I don’t think there is something uber-feminine and sometimes even super glamorous about a long, lusty pair of eyelashes — but as one of my favorite quotes goes, “The excess of a virtue can be a vice,” and lashes are no exception. Lawd.