The significance of Astrology is that it helps you build relationships with others. You not only learn more about yourself through studying or understanding the stars, but you can also strengthen your connections in life as well. When it comes to building friendships, making new friends, or understanding more of who you are as a friend yourself, you want to look at the 11th house in your birth chart.
The 11th House in Astrology
The 11th house in Astrology rules your friendships, community, social networks, associates, aspirations, and where you find like-minded souls who resonate with you on a deep level. It represents the person you are within your community and the support you receive from others as well.
By breaking down the signs, planets, and aspects of your 11th house, you can further awaken to the beauty of friendship you were meant to experience in this lifetime. The strengths or weaknesses of your 11th house determine what type of experience you have when it comes to friendships and support in your life and how you can grow here.
What Do the Planets in the 11th House Mean?
Venus in the 11th house signifies someone who not only feels a lot of love for their friends but is constantly being reminded how much their friends or community support them as well. They build friendships through love and feel a lot of harmony. Jupiter in the 11th house signifies someone who has a bounty of friendships in life and feels blessed in this area of existence. They are the larger-than-life friend who always has something going on and wants you to be a part of it, and they build their friendships through their optimism and wisdom.
Chiron in the 11th house, however, can signify someone with deep wounds related to their friendships and may have a hard time making friends due to old betrayals or pain stemming from people whom they have associated with. Chiron in the 11th house are the healers in their friend groups and will build good friendships when they approach them with more confidence and understanding.
Saturn in the 11th house will show similar themes as Chiron, but friendships here feel more restrictive than painful. Having Saturn in the 11th house indicates someone who takes their friendships very seriously, but may not know how to loosen up and have fun at times.
Your Astrological Guide to Friendships & Zodiacs
The sign you have in your 11th house is also a determining factor in how you show up best in friendships. Virgo in the 11th house are the friends who are always there to lend a helping hand and build strong friendships through consistency. Sagittarius in the 11th house are the friends you want to travel with, and they create friendships in life through their outgoing and charismatic nature.
Cancer in the 11th house is the “mom friend,” the friend that will take care of you when you’re sick and create friendships in life through their nurturing and supportive energy. Overall, by understanding your 11th house, you understand the role you play within your community, the friendships you make, and the bonds you can build with others.
Read below for your rising sign and sun sign to see what influence your 11th house has in your life:
ARIES RISING/ ARIES SUN
You are the friend that always shows up exactly as they are today and receive support in your life through your authenticity. You aren’t the type of person to beat around the bush, and you are very direct when it comes to what you do or don’t want to be friends with.
Aquarius is your 11th house sign, and you tend to make friends pretty easily in life. You go through moods of being social and needing more independence and time to yourself, but your friends are typically very fond of you nonetheless.
You are an open-minded friend, and support the things in people that others may deem weird or unusual, and tend to attract progressive and inspiring people into your life. You will build strong friendships when you are getting out of your head, allowing yourself to take up space, connecting through social media, and being in spaces that resonate with you on a soul level.
TAURUS RISING/ TAURUS SUN
You are the loving friend. You are the type of friend who doesn’t let go of people easily, and you will put in action and dedication to keep your friendships strong. This can make you a little stubborn at times, but when you are going with the flow more you attract people to you.
With Pisces as your 11th house sign, you bring a lot of love, emotional receptivity, spirituality, and creativity into your friendships. You tend to meet friends in more creative settings or spaces where you are allowing yourself to let go and have fun.
You will build strong friendships in your life when there is a mutual understanding and respect for each other's differences, and you tend to be more attracted to spiritually inclined individuals. You tend to have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to your friendships as you always try to see the best in people.
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GEMINI RISING/ GEMINI SUN
You are the active friend. You are the friend who calls and the friend you can have a conversation with for hours. There is always something to talk about and something to do when it comes to you, and you easily make friends through your communicative approach.
With Aries as your 11th house sign, you are the type of friend who can be a little impulsive and unpredictable at times as well. You keep things interesting nonetheless and are someone who inspires people through your free-spirited nature.
Friendships for you tend to be short-lived, and if you want to build a more lasting community of support around you, being in spaces where you feel passionate, energized, and free will help you meet those people. You will build strong friendships in life when you let go of more of your competitive nature and when you focus on more harmony in your friendships.
CANCER RISING/ CANCER SUN
You are the homebody friend. You are the type of friend who will cook, host, and throw a friend a surprise birthday party. You are the thoughtful one in your friend group, and people deeply feel the love you share.
With Taurus as your 11th house sign, it takes you some time to come out of your shell, but when you do, most of the friendships you form in life are here to stay. You are the type of friend to know the best restaurants, and the best places to go to, and your friends see you as someone with impeccable taste.
You tend to attract more luxurious or high-status friendships into your life, as your love for luxury puts you in these spaces to meet these types of people. You will form strong friendships in life when you are doing the things you love and that put you at ease, and when you find friends who you share mutual interests, aesthetics, and tastes with.
LEO RISING/ LEO SUN
You are a fun friend. You are the type of friend who is always up to do something, and you like to stay active and be on the go. With Gemini in your 11th house, you are the more outgoing, talkative, and social friend.
In group settings, you don’t have a hard time making your voice heard, and there is something different and intriguing about you that attracts many people to you. You may have to be careful with gossiping when it comes to your friendships, however, as with Mercury influencing your 11th house, communication is important to your friendships.
All in all, your friendships strengthen when you are in dynamic and inspiring spaces and when you are checking in with people and building friendships rather than just forming associations. Your friend group will most likely be all different types of people with different interests and this is energy that you thrive in. Community is key, and thinking about the group more will sustain your friendships.
VIRGO RISING/ VIRGO SUN
You are the type of friend who gives great advice. You are always there for your loved ones, and the people in your life are often going to you for help or support. With Cancer in your 11th house, you are the friend who approaches people with open arms.
You are a safe space for your friends and community, and you truly love the people that come into your life. You love to have people over and you are someone who forms strong bonds with others in the home or more intimate atmospheres.
You are the type of person to still have love for or emotional attachments to people you knew when you were younger or don’t even talk to anymore because your bonds are forever. Friends are like family to you, and you build strong friendships in life when you are being supportive when you are in a safe atmosphere, and when you allow people to support you the way you support them.
LIBRA RISING/ LIBRA SUN
You are the type of friend that people love to have fun. You are open-minded, loving, confident, and not to mention, have great taste. You are the friend who knows what’s happening and where and who loves to be social and meet new people.
With Leo in your 11th house, you are the type of friend who shines when they walk into the room. You are the leader of the group, tend to be the center of attention wherever you go, and are also a little more dramatic than most, which keeps people entertained.
You are the type of friend who is confident in yourself yet also lifts people up and makes them feel good about themselves, too. You attract people to you and build strong friendships when you allow others to take up space and support the people in your life without losing your own authenticity in the process.
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SCORPIO RISING/ SCORPIO SUN
Friendships for you are about building deep, emotional connections, and you need consistency in your friendships. You strive in a group setting where there is reciprocal love and understanding, and around people who understand your more intuitive and introspective nature.
With Virgo being the sign in your 11th house, your friends see you as the wise one. You are always there for your people, and you are often the person your friends go to for help.
You prefer friendships where you can do daily tasks together, run errands, or share a mutual duty or interest. In your community, you have the power to bring healing into the lives of others, and you are usually dedicated to an important cause. You will attract support and good friendships into your life when you are approaching things with logic, practicality, and sincerity.
SAGITTARIUS RISING/ SAGITTARIUS SUN
You are the type of friend who likes to have fun and is always up for something new. You are exciting, adventurous, and outspoken when it comes to how you show up in group settings.
You have Libra in the 11th house, making you someone who generally has an easier time making friendships and finding communities that feel right for you. You openly give love and support to others, and in turn, receive this love back to you.
You are someone who brings people together and makes new friends wherever you go. You are the friend who is always dressed well, always surprises everyone in the group with your latest tea, and keeps people on their toes. You can build strong friendships with others by being more of the peacemaker, communicating, and approaching things with a balanced perspective.
CAPRICORN RISING/ CAPRICORN SUN
You are the friend that people can depend on. You are very selective of the people you let into your life, and you tend to keep the same friends for years. The community you build around yourself is very important to you, and you are dedicated in this area of life.
With Scorpio as your 11th house sign, you are the more emotional friend who takes their friendships to heart. Since you are such a private person, it takes a lot to let people in, and when you do, you do so with the intention that it’s going to last forever.
You are fiercely protective over your people, and you are the type of friend who makes people feel cherished. You will attract friendships, support, and community into your life when you are trusting your intuitive hunches on people when it comes to whom you truly resonate.
AQUARIUS RISING/ AQUARIUS SUN
Friendships are a big part of your existence, and the way you see life is often colored by the friendships you build throughout life and what they have taught you. You are someone who is outgoing, interesting, and friendly.
Sagittarius is in your 11th house, and you will attract friendships to you while traveling, exploring the world and different cultures, and getting out of the norm. You are the friend who is always doing something and who brings that shock factor.
You may be a little hard to reach at times, however, and are also the friend who may take a few days or weeks to text back. All in all, your strength in friendships comes from your optimism and charisma. You will build strong friendships when you are being open-minded and having fun.
PISCES RISING/ PISCES SUN
You build friendships that last a lifetime. You form bonds with others on an emotional level, and your soft side usually comes out more when it comes to your friends.
With Capricorn your 11th house sign, you attract friendships and support to you by being there for others. You are someone others feel like they can rely on and you are the type of friend to always show up.
You have a strong loyalty to the people you love, which is why your friendships typically are for years. You also typically make friends with people who are older than you or exude a sense of maturity and accomplishment. You value history when it comes to the people in your life, however, you will be able to attract more support to you when you are open to meeting new people rather than just giving your energy to people you already know.
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- 9 Things To Normalize About Friendships ›
- The Kind Of Friend You Are, According To Astrology ›
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Create a Budget. Stick to It.
GiphyBudgets, boy. I recently read that one of the reasons why they don’t work for a lot of people is because many folks don’t have a clue about how much money they spend on a monthly basis to begin with. SMDH. That said, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that a budget is simply setting boundaries/limits on your spending — and being intentional about moving in this fashion is always a wise move; especially when it comes to this time of the year…especially being that it’s typical for half of all Americans to take on some type of holiday season debt with 17 percent needing six (or more) months to pay it off.
Know what can prevent this kind of financial chaos? A SPENDING BUDGET. Tips for how to create one of your own this year can be found here.
2. Never Shop When You’re Stressed or Pressed
GiphyYou know how they say that it’s not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? Although the holiday season can be a stressful time, avoid shopping for gifts (or décor or food for recipes) when you are feeling stressed out or pressed for time. More times than not, that cultivates anxiety which could cause you to either purchase things that you don’t really want or to spend money that you don’t really have (P.S. If you’re relying on credit cards, that qualifies as money that you don’t really have. Just sayin’).
3. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses
GiphyKnow something else that can stress you out: trying to keep up with the Joneses. And y’all, now that we have social media, the reality is that envy is at an all-time high. That’s because it can be really easy to watch holiday engagements, holiday trips and folks bragging about the things that they’ve received in times past, only for you to find yourself wishing that you were them — or putting pressure on yourself and those in your world to keep up.
Listen, it is King Solomon who once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) and “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 — NKJV) and he’s considered to be the wisest man who ever lived (during his time — I Kings 4:30). Yeah, both of these verses are a spiritual reminder that whatever you are planning to do or give, do it out of the goodness of your heart — not so that you can low-key “outdo” the next guy.
4. No Need to “Tit-for-Tat”
GiphyThis one might be a bit controversial yet I’m totally okay with that. I don’t care what the occasion is, no one is OWED a present. A gift is a voluntary token of one’s appreciation or affection. That said, if you decide to give someone a present this year, don’t automatically expect something in return. If you get something, cool. If not, if you were giving for the right reasons, it really shouldn’t matter (RIGHT?). On the flip side, if someone decides to get you something and you don’t have something to offer in return, also cool.
Other than going to someone’s home for a holiday dinner or party, for anyone to feel like they should have something in hand because someone else does…that’s not giving, that’s competing — and that absolutely should not be the spirit that you are in (or around) during this time of year.
Again, a gift is not an obligatory thing. If you’ve always thought otherwise, it’s time to do some serious reprogramming.
5. Avoid the Pressure to Buy for Lots of Adults
GiphyLast month, Newsweek published an article that said it’s wise to not spend a ton of money purchasing gifts for adults. A financial expert in the piece said that it’s best to buy for kids because, more times than not, you’re going to get adults something that they already have a lot of, they don’t really need or they’re not going to use (beyond maybe regifting) anyway.
If you’re not feeling that insight, my take would be to exchange names and set a price cap for the grown folks. I say that because, I don’t think that people ever outgrow wanting something over Christmas. It’s just that the over-the-top energy should be reserved for the kiddies — and even then, the “4-gift rule” (want, need, read, experience) is probably your best bet for them…financially and otherwise.
6. Go for Thoughtful over Expensive
GiphyIt’s kind of wild how much close-to-torture folks send themselves through to purchase gifts that, a good 6-8 months now, most folks aren’t even going to remember. That’s why it’s also a good idea to purpose in your mind to get something thoughtful over expensive.
Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why Etsy continues to be a go-to for gifts (for every occasion) for me. It’s because you can oftentimes get things customized/personalized which ends up meaning so much more to people than something that you bought at a generic department store that might have a high price tag yet still lacks in sentimentality and deep meaning.
7. Use Coupons and Promo Codes
GiphyCoupons (and promo codes) are a slippery slope in the sense that…they remind me of when I used to go overboard while thrift store shopping. I say that because, just because I might find several bomb dresses for under $20, what am I going to do with 50 of ‘em (over time)? It’s just as much of a waste of money as buying couture if neither option gets much use.
And that’s kind of the thing about coupons and promo codes. Some people end up overspending because they rationalize that so long as there are discounts attached, it’s all good. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should forego coupons and promo codes altogether. The key is to put together your shopping list (and budget) and then use discounts specifically for those items. If you do this, you could save well over $1,000 annually (at least, depending on what you decide to buy).
8. Avoid Add-Ons
GiphyYeah. Dodge add-on expenses. Add-ons like what? The first thing that comes to my mind is a warranty. What’s the chance that someone is actually going to need that? Another example is paying for things to be “professionally” gift wrapped. Chile, throw that stuff in a gift bag with some tissue paper and go on about your day. All good.
9. Rethink Gift Cards
GiphyIf there is any time of the year when there is a noticeable hike in gift card purchases, now would be it. And although they are a convenient approach to gift giving, at the same time, many come with hidden fees, the full amount oftentimes goes unused (which ends up being a waste of money) and they do come with expiration dates that are oftentimes forgotten.
So, if you’re someone who likes to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping, resist the urge to impulsively pick up a handful of gift cards. Unless it’s to a place that you know someone is going to use within the next few months, they could end up in somebody’s kitchen drawer for the next couple of years. And what a waste that would be.
10. They’ll Get It When They Do. And That’s Okay.
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GiphyOne more. Although it is super thoughtful and proactive to get people their gifts in time for whatever occasion you purchased them for, if trying to reach that goal is going to require paying for rush shipping that is damn near as high as the price of gift or spending a lot of gas money that you don’t have at the moment to drive miles and miles away — take the pressure off to spend a ton of cash just to make sure that something arrives at December 25. Listen, through doing business with Etsy, I have learned that through this administration, there are all sorts of tariff issues going on and the USPS is slower than ever too, so paying more may not guarantee much.
The hack? Send a message that something special is coming…soon enough. The thought really is what counts (more times than not); plus, it builds anticipation of something good coming, even if it’s after all of the Christmas Day hoopla. And no one (with sense) is going to have a problem with that.
Now don’t you feel better? Happy Holiday Shopping, sis.
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