14 Quotes From Black Feminists To Inspire You To Boss Up
The power of black women is undeniable, and we stay killing it in whatever we choose to pursue. When we unite to advocate for one another, we build communities that not only thrive but forge strong and successful futures for generations. Here's where black feminism comes in. Its impact can be seen in the legacies of so many powerful women who have positively affected legislation, shifted the perception of what a black woman is, and made room for all of us to expand, flourish, and blossom into our own.
Many have impacted us all with their art, work, and push for women's equality and freedom. Be inspired by 14 black feminist quotes from the legends, on career advancement, entrepreneurship, leadership and much more:
Florynce Kennedy, Lawyer, Activist and Lecturer: On Self-Confidence
"I focus on myself. I'm the most important person in my life. I love me better than anybody loves me. I take such good care of me. I don't need any other person. ... I really really think I'm great. I cannot walk, I cannot stand up, I wobble, I fall down, I do everything, but I'd still rather be me than just about anybody."—1985 Diane Abrams interview
Shirley Chisholm, Educator and Politician: On Taking Initiative
"You don't make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas."
—"UnBought and Unbossed" presidential campaign speech
Alice Walker, Author and Lecturer: On Conscious Planning
"Keep in mind always the present you are constructing. It should be the future you want."
—The Temple of My Familiar
Kathryn Finney, Tech Entrepreneur and Speaker: On Paving Your Own Lane
"You can only punch a wall for so long before you either break your hand or the wall. At digitalundivided, we decided to stop punching the wall, buy a chainsaw, and make our own door."
—2016Model View Culture interview.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Author and Speaker: On People-Pleasing
"Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don't do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you, as you are."
—2015 Wellesley College commencement speech
Bell Hooks, Author and Activist: On Self-Awareness
"If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency."
—Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics
Audre Lorde, Author: On Self-Care
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
—A Burst of Light
Angela Davis, Lecturer and Activist: On Optimism
"I don't think we have any alternative other than remaining optimistic. Optimism is an absolute necessity, even if it's only optimism of the will, as Gramsci said, and pessimism of the intellect."
—Freedom Is a Constant Struggle
Roxane Gay, Author and Speaker: On Service
"We must stop pointing to the exceptions—these bright shining stars who transcend circumstance. We must look to how we can best support the least among us, not spend all our time blindly revering and trying to mimic the greatest without demanding systemic change."
—Bad Feminist
Dorothy Pitman Hughes, Activist and Author: On Doing What You Love
"You have to get to a point where you do what you enjoy. And also, it helps you to understand that you have talents that you came here with and you can build on all of them and you don't have to be hooked into one skill because of an education system that doesn't understand education."
—1973 WNED's "Woman" interview
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Janelle Monae, Actress, Musician and Activist: On Pushing Past Norms
"I don't think we all have to take the same coordinates to reach the same destination. I believe in embracing what makes you unique even if it makes others uncomfortable. I have learned there is power in saying no. I have agency. I get to decide."
—2017 Marie Claire interview
Toni Morrison, Author and Lecturer: On the Importance of Sponsorship
"I tell my students, 'When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.' "
—2003 O Magazine Interview
Brittney Copper, Author: On the True Source of Power
"Power is not attained from books and seminars. Not alone, anyway. Power is conferred by social systems. Empowerment and power are not the same thing. We must quit mistaking the two. Better yet, we must quit settling for one when what we really need is the other."
—Eloquent Rage: A Black Woman Discovers Her Superpower
Ntozake Shange, Poet, Author, and Playwright: On the Power of Reading
"Read as much as you can, as many different kinds of books on different subjects as you can. Read everything you can get in your hands. Keep feeding your soul with words of other people so you can see all the different kinds of things that can be done with words and experience it yourself."
—2013 Black Enterprise interview
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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