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A Corporate Career I Hated Gave Me The Confidence I Didn't Know I Needed
A 9-to-5 never bothered me, and I never dreamed of a corporate career. I was a worker bee, and I was cool with it. I was stable – I had a job and a paycheck. I was content – I had no desire to manage people. I didn't want to sit in middle management meetings, lead a team, or work my way up the corporate ladder. Those things just never appealed to me. And money isn't my greatest motivator, but I understand that, for most people, it is. I never saw myself as a people person, a girl boss, or SHEeo either.
But a few years ago, I had transitioned from a support role in the public sector to a consultancy role with a "big four" consulting firm in the private sector. At the time, the job title, and money were my greatest motivators. I could afford shit now – a whole lot of shit. I earned four times more than my previous government salary in a year. How? I didn't know a damn thing about consulting, business management, or marketing. They say it's about who you know, but it's also "sink or swim". I learned every damn swim stroke possible just to survive the first couple of months. I had something to prove: I am capable of doing this job and worthy of all the coins in my bank account.
I succeeded with grace, but I always do. Despite our strained relationship, I am my mother's daughter. And she gifted me with grace at a very young age. I grew comfortable in my role; I loved the respect and autonomy the position offered me. I loved the flexibility too. I was in a position where I thought I was seen and heard. My opinions were valued. For the most part, I was my own damn boss. But – with pay increases, bonuses, company perks, promotions, and titles come a level of work politics that I wanted no parts of. A toxic work environment, on-the-job harassment, and bullying will have you fold real quick.
I started to feel uncomfortable in meetings, training, and team outings. Like I didn't belong in the room. As if I was not smart enough to be around my elite colleagues. I grew tiresome of discussing revenues, business proposals, and projects. I was lost in every single meeting. Every conversation drained me. When would we ever talk about some real shit? Something that at least had meaning. All the things I loved about my newly acquired role; I slowly began to hate. I tapped out – I had to. My mental health was compromised, and my identity was lost due to the emotional trauma I endured.
What I didn't know was everything I hated about my corporate career gave me the confidence I didn't know I needed.
I exude confidence in every single thing I do now. I mean, my work ethic was already bomb, but it's fire now. I own everything I do, and how I do it, with ease. From the way I articulate myself to how I interact with people in social and business settings. There isn't anything I say I'm going to do, that I don't deliver on. I kill it every time. Let me explain how this came to be.
1.Making Connections Is Everything
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In the corporate world, making connections with the right people is key. And building your network a must. You cannot survive without doing this. I've said this before, but I'm reserved by nature. I'm a lot quieter too, especially in a business setting. But having to interact with high-profile clients and top-level company executives daily forced me to shed some of that skin. Clients had an all-access pass to me – texts, phone calls, emails, coffee breaks, and impromptu meetings. My communication skills had to be on point, and they were. Developing relationships, gaining trust, and keeping clients happy became my thing. Building relationships with people is now and always has been one of my strongest skill sets. Who knew I was someone that likes to talk so much?
2.Welcoming Opportunities
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I used to be uber-selective about the opportunities presented to me. It was uncomfortable not knowing how to do something. I wanted to save myself the embarrassment of effing up the first time. I hate making mistakes. I even lacked knowledge in certain business areas, which led me to feel insecure. But I realized opportunities are learning experiences that I cannot pass up. Whatever I didn't know, I researched. BTW, research is also another skill set I was able to strengthen. The more you're willing to learn about a new subject or pick up a new skill, the more opportunities come your way. Think of it as building your personal toolbox. The more tools you have, the better equipped you are to succeed in your profession.
3.Challenging My Time Management & Organizational Skills
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For someone who believed herself to be organized, my organizational skills were tested. When you are responsible for your own team, work product, presentations, deliverables, and running client meetings, you have to be a hundred percent on. There is no room for error. A lot of the time, I was teaching myself how to do this with little to no resources. I thought I managed my time well, but this was some next-level shit. I had to learn to stay on top of myself. I had to find tools and implement ways to help me to do so. Like making it a point to plan my workdays and allocate time when necessary. A planner became my best friend. This was not easy by any means, but I made it work. When I say I was stretched, I was S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D thin. But I stay ready, y'all.
4.My Writing Skills Are Lit
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I always believed I wrote well, at least academically. English and social sciences were my strong suit, but technical report writing was a major shift for me. It was dry, monotone, and boring AF. I was accustomed to MLA and APA formats. Business writing was tough, but I managed. Proposal writing was even worse because you had to sell yourself and sell a service, and that didn't sit right with me. As much as I hated it, I wrote with no complaints. It challenged my creativity, expanded my vocabulary and writing style, and at times left me with writer's block. Even though I knew my writing was good, there was that one manager who constantly told me my writing was garbage. And now, here I am writing personal essays, interviews, lifestyle, beauty, and investigative pieces for a brand I love, xoNecole, and a founder I have followed for over a decade, Necole Kane. I couldn't be any happier. Success is always the best revenge.
5.I Do My Own Thing Now
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Now, this is something I never saw coming–something I never dreamed of. A career I despised gave me the confidence I needed to create my own opportunity. Yes, I write. I write a lot. I'm in love with words and writing is forever my first love. I still consult, and I am a paralegal by trade, but now I get to do all of this for myself. The funny thing is, I didn't know I was going to end up here. It's beautiful. I am thankful a wrong career choice led me to do my own thing. I have no regrets. I get to decide how I show up in the workforce. I choose the type of people I work with. I negotiatethe type of work I accept or decline. And the most important thing to me is building a business that is honest and has a purpose. I exist to help others.
Every single challenge I encountered in my previous career made me a better professional. Everything I hated about business and Corporate America made me a stronger person. It broke me down and built me up, but in the end, I found my way.
Now, I set the standard and I create the rules. I walk into rooms knowing what I have to offer is gold. And I think you should, too.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."