Living In A New City And Feeling Nervous About Making Friends? These 6 Tips Can Help
The first big leap was moving to a new city and getting settled into my new home. The next big leap? Was finding community and belonging. Moving to a new city excited me! I looked forward to having my own apartment, decorating it, and exploring what the city had to offer. I also found excitement in the thought of meeting new people and expanding my connections. When it actually came down to it, I felt nervous. I heard that making new friends as an adult can be hard because we all have different responsibilities and schedules that may not align. I knew in order for me to really feel at home in my new city, I had to create community.
Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
Carlos Barquero/ Getty Images
Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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Asha, meaning "full of life," was born and raised in New York City. Growing up with a big family and connecting with diverse people throughout life inspired Asha to take her communication skills to greater heights. After graduating with a Bachelor's in Mass Communications and a Master's in Business Administration, she aspires to write about topics relevant to the growth of young Black women. Aside from writing, Asha finds fulfillment in keeping up with fashion trends, indulging in self-care, attending social events, and exploring new activities with family and friends.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
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Credit: Alan Henderson
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Credit: Dylan Davis
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Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Why Denver Should Be On Your Travel List: A Black Woman’s Perspective
If someone had asked me if living in Denver, Colorado, for nearly seven years was on my Bingo card, I probably would have laughed in their face. But you know what they say: we make plans, and God laughs. Truth be told — moving to Denver was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was able to find myself and my voice in a city that was somewhat foreign to me, and I am forever grateful.
Denver may not have the largest Black population, but its vibrant community offers plenty of ways to find connection, culture, and self-care. With less than 10 percent of the city's residents identifying as Black, it can sometimes feel challenging to find spaces that truly resonate. That’s why we wanted to offer a guide to help Black women navigate the city, find community, and experience everything the Mile High City has to offer.
Listen up sis, here's how you can live your best life in Denver.
Denver Travel: The City vs. The Mountains
Let’s start here because many people believe that Denver is in the mountains, and while that’s technically true, you still need to travel outside of the city to be in the mountains. Winter Park is a great place to do mountain activities and also see more Black folks. Strawberry Park Hot Springs has the most magical hot springs, as the snow-capped mountains serve as the perfect landscape.
Ski Noir 5280is a great resource for mountain tings as they are working hard to diversify the mountains. They offer training and equipment as a means of support so that more of us take over the slopes.
Wellness and Self-Care Experiences in Denver
Courtesy of Joce Blake
Denver has a variety of Black-owned businesses and wellness services designed to help you prioritize self-care. BodyLove by Tal, for example, offers organic skincare products created to heal, nourish, and restore your skin naturally. If you’re looking to reconnect with nature, the Potted Peace Project promotes racial healing through plant love, offering plants and nature-centered events.
If you're more into holistic wellness, Sound Baths with Courtneyoffers guided meditations and sound baths that can provide much-needed relaxation and healing energy.Urban Sanctuaryand Charismatic Movement Yogaalso offer yoga classes to help you find balance, both physically and emotionally.
Beauty and Haircare Services in Denver
Finding a trusted haircare provider can be essential to maintaining your confidence. Denver has a variety of Black-owned beauty salons, including B&B Beauty Supplyin Aurora, where you can find all your hair care needs, from extensions to braids. For specialized braiding, Tay, The Braid Bestie, is known for her work with knotless braids and feed-ins, offering services to both men and children.
If you're looking to keep your hair on point,Official Micahspecializes in sew-ins, frontal wigs, and high-quality hair products, whileStylez by J’Niceat Timeless Designs in Aurora offers a range of hairstyling services, from natural hair to weaves to a buss down boho knotless style. Janice has been getting me together for years, and I adore her hands.
Looking for a MUA? Tatiana Artistry and Angela Ranaeare the best to ever do it. And if you need your nails did, I only trust theNail Transformerswith my fingertips. They also offer pedicures, lash extensions, facials, and more.
Denver Cultural Activities and Nightlife
Denver offers a host of cultural events where Black women can connect and feel represented. One thing that shocked me when I first moved was that the Juneteenth Music Festivalis one of the city’s major cultural events, celebrating Black heritage with music, food, and community. For a unique art experience, visitThe Museum for Black Girls, which celebrates iconic moments in Black culture through its interactive selfie installations.
When it comes to nightlife, you’ll find some great spots catering to the Black community. If there’sMunchies & Mimosas happening while you’re in town, get that ticket. This event that mixes culture, cuisine, and music in one unforgettable experience. If you love a good night out, The Lobbyis another must-attend spot, where you can enjoy great music, hookah, bottle service, and a lively atmosphere.
Vibes in the Parkis also a wonderful space dedicated to connecting us with our roots. From park events to networking, it’s always a vibe with this gang.
If you’re into fashion, you’ll want to check outColor of Fashion. They are transforming the fashion industry by advancing inclusivity, diversity, and racial equality.
Honestly, if you’re looking for specific moves and vibes, follow the Mile High Tribeand Community Keison Instagram — they keep you up-to-date on the Black and brown spaces and events going down.
Shopping Black-Owned in Denver
Courtesy of Joce Blake
Supporting Black-owned businesses in Denver is easy, with several options around town.Be a Good Personoffers streetwear that promotes positivity, while Rachel Marie Hurst and M.Bolden Boutiqueprovide luxury fashion, including custom handmade pieces. For high-quality, eco-friendly apparel, check out The Common Collective, a Denver-based brand committed to sustainability and social impact.
Whether you're looking for unique clothing or just want to support local Black entrepreneurs, Denver's shopping scene has something for everyone.
Green Spacesis also an amazing community hub for Black and Brown folks. From Black & Blossomed, which serves up flowers for the culture to Migas Coffeewith the best matchas, it's a one-stop shop to grab some goodies and co-work.
Food for the Soul
Courtesy of Joce Blake
Denver’s food scene is as diverse as its community, with several Black-owned restaurants offering soul food, BBQ, and Southern cooking. Mattie's Soul Food is a family-owned spot that brings the flavors of the South to Denver, serving everything from collard greens to chicken and dressing. Another great spot is Saucy Southern, known for its delicious southern-style BBQ wings and soulful meals.
For brunch lovers,Mimosas is a retro-inspired restaurant that serves up creative comfort food alongside its namesake beverage. If you're craving a taste of New Orleans,Nola Jane’s, and Four Friends Kitchen have you covered with gumbo, po’boys, other classic dishes, and collard greens to die for.
Living your best life as a Black woman in Denver means finding spaces that celebrate your identity, support your wellness, and connect you with the community. Whether you’re indulging in self-care at a yoga class, enjoying a soulful meal, or dancing the night away, Denver has plenty to offer.
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Featured image courtesy of Joce Blake