

What is the difference between bad, average, and great sex? If I ask thirty people this question, I would get thirty different answers. As someone who's had their fair share of both good and not-so-good sex, I understand that there is no one size fits all answer to this question. "Great sex" can mean different things to different people. Case in point, I once had an amazing sexual experience with a guy that a mutual “friend” had a horrible experience with. Great sex is subjective AF! According to the mutual friend his sex was subpar at best. One person’s trash is another one’s treasure. Great sex boils down to what is good for you and your partner at the moment. No two people are the same so no two sexual experiences will be the same either.
Even though what constitutes great sex differs from person to person, there are some common denominators we all share. I find that most people need: honest communication, vulnerability, and chemistry regardless of age, sexual orientation, and relationship status for great sex to take place. Rarely are penis size and earth-shattering orgasms a determining factor of great sex. I know for me, the older I get the more I realize great sex is less about big dicks and more about chemistry and connection.
But you don’t have to take my word for it here’s what some of my social media followers had to say about what makes sex great for them.
"I can honestly say, for me, now that I’m older, great sex is based off of mental stimulation. If we aren’t able to obtain this, the sex is just okay."
"Chemistry/attraction, communication, skills, he needs to have rhythm in his hips and talk dirty, be dominant, and submit sometimes when I feel like being dominant. There needs to be some music going on in the background, eye contact, not be in a rush if it’s not a quickie, reciprocity, and adventurous. Be vocal, silent sex doesn’t do it for me, like what is this, a cemetery? Open your mouth and let those pleasure sounds out, hunny."
"Genuine chemistry. Yes, sex can still be bomb when someone checks off your physical boxes: big ass, tall, dad bod... Whatever makes your sex organs tingle. But when you actually like them AND they are good in bed, then it's greatness."
"When it feels like an effortless, sensual, passionate dance. When we flow seamlessly communicating without words with our bodies. The chemistry, connection, and attraction inside of the bedroom [are] only an extension of the feelings outside of the bedroom."
"Paying attention to my body, talking me through my orgasm, not just pounding blindly like I'm some kind of sex toy, taking time to make sure I'm satisfied, and flipping my big ass like I'm a gyatdamn pillow."
"Feeling free enough to act/try things in a non-judgmental environment. Openness to criticism or direction. Accepting not everyone is the same and not everything is enjoyed or not by everybody. Our experience is OURS. And what we like with each other we may not like [with] others. We have to find our wave."
"After being with my husband for 35 years (since 10th grade) and married for 23, intimacy is key. We take our time and really enjoy each other. I’m not only still in love with him, but I still LIKE him."
"A safe space, trust, emotional awareness, intimacy, vulnerability, knowing each other's love languages, open communication, chemistry, and paying attention to each other's bodies, wants, and desires in and out of the bedroom."
"Willingness to communicate and adjust even during the act. Don’t give excuses that you were so caught up in what was going on that you didn’t pay attention. Great sex also includes willingness to quit expecting to duplicate what you see in porn, especially when the other person says they’re not interested."
"Total connection...meaning you wrap yourself around me, in me...try to see through me. Experience me...let me Experience you...your sounds. Guttural, ancestral...your smell...your released...come undone."
"The transcendent feeling when the world stops around you, there's no sound but you two, and there is no longer a goal. The pleasure is so all-consuming you remember how powerful it can be to surrender."
"True intimacy. It’s something that happens naturally when people are kind to each other. Attentiveness to the body. Equal satisfaction (because men that don’t like eating coochie are not fair partners to me), great foreplay, great aftercare (I make my partner clean me up before I get up to do anything and I do the same at times)."
"You have to be comfortable with the person. Sex should be fun, exploring what feels good instead of what you think pleasure should look like. Taking your time. Folks are in such a hurry to get to it, they miss all the good stuff that makes getting there even better. It's not a race. Intimacy...in all its forms."
"Bravery. Vulnerability. Softness (from the dominant/masculine partner). Boldness (from the feminine/submissive partner). Actually LIKING who you are with. (I don’t mean chemistry. I mean actually LIKING the person). And communicating after leaving each other’s presence. I LOVE a good recap or something to let me know that it’s still lingering on you!"
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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In 2025, the representation of Black mothers on the silver screen is much more commonplace than it was 10 or even five years ago. And if you could remember further back than that, they were practically non-existent. Yes, there’s still work to be done, but it’s amazing to see different portrayals of the Black matriarch and the stamp they’ve left on TV.
Speaking of leaving a stamp, this Mother’s Day, we wanted to pay homage to television’s most iconic Black moms. For many of us, these on-screen mothers were the blueprint for our own dreams of motherhood—and a reminder of what it really means to show up for your family with love, resilience, and style.
Below, find our favorite Black TV moms that “raised us” and why we’ll always ride for them.
Clair Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
Graceful, brilliant, and uncompromising, Clair was the archetype of the accomplished Black mother, shattering stereotypes as a high-powered attorney raising five kids with warmth and wit. Phylicia Rashad’s portrayal of Clair from 1984 to 1992 earned her two Primetime Emmy nominations (and fun fact: she was the first Black actress ever nominated in that category!).
Beyond her career moves and fabulous wardrobe, Clair Huxtable was that mom who listened, who read you for filth when necessary, and who loved you out loud with elegance and humor. She taught us that you could be nurturing and a boss at the same time—and you didn’t have to apologize for it.
Vivian Banks aka Aunt Viv (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Bel-Air)
Whether it was Janet Hubert’s sharp-tongued sophistication or Daphne Maxwell Reid’s calm, nurturing energy, Aunt Viv was—and still is—the heart and soul of the Banks family. She was the type of woman who could shut down a whole dinner party with just one raised eyebrow and make you feel wrapped in love two minutes later.
Let’s not forget: Aunt Viv took Will into her home like he was her own, showing us what unconditional love and family really look like. And can we talk about her iconic dance moves during that one unforgettable audition scene? Legendary!
In Bel-Air, actress Cassandra Freeman continues Aunt Viv’s legacy, bringing her own strength, softness, and modern-day brilliance to the role.
Rainbow Johnson (Black-ish)
Played by Tracee Ellis Ross, Bow navigates modern motherhood with heart, humor, and a strong sense of cultural pride while balancing a medical career and a quirky family.
Bow's hair alone could have its own spin-off show—from box braids to silk presses to natural curls, every style, crafted by department head Araxi Lindsey (who is also Ross’ personal stylist), was a love letter to Black hair’s versatility.
As a biracial woman raising Black children, Bow also gave voice to the complexities of identity in a way that felt authentic and overdue. She wasn’t perfect, and that’s what made her so real and so beloved.
Dr. Miranda Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy)
There’s tough love, and then there’s Dr. Bailey love. Portrayed by Chandra Wilson, Miranda Bailey has long been the no-nonsense moral compass of Grey Sloan Memorial. But her journey as a mother, especially raising a Black son in today’s America, brought even deeper layers to her character.
She’s not just a mom biologically; she's a mentor, protector, and guiding light for countless young doctors who came through those hospital doors. Bailey showed us that nurturing leadership isn't soft, it’s one of the bravest things you can do. She’s a true Grey’s Anatomy legend and has been right alongside Meredith Grey throughout all 20 seasons of the show.
Nikki Parker (The Parkers)
Where do we even begin with Nikki Parker? Played to hilarious perfection by Mo’Nique, Nikki was a bold, extra, and fiercely loving single mom who decided to go back to college so she could better herself and stay close to her daughter, Kim. (Bestie energy, but make it maternal.)
Their mother-daughter bond was pure magic—equal parts hilarious, heartwarming, and relatable. Nikki taught us that it’s never too late to chase your dreams, especially when the people you love are counting on you.
Rochelle Rock (Everybody Hates Chris)
As the matriarch of a working-class Brooklyn family, Rochelle, played by the forever-legendary Tichina Arnold, was tough, protective, and endlessly quotable. Her “I don’t need this, my man has two jobs” became an anthem for fed-up moms everywhere.
Inspired by Chris Rock’s own mother, Rochelle was a love letter to the fierce, funny, over-it Black moms who held it down with limited resources and unlimited love. She was a reminder that sometimes, love looks like keeping the lights on and dragging you by the ear when you got out of line.
Tasha Mack (The Game)
Wendy Raquel Robinson’s portrayal of Tasha Mack gave us one of TV’s most unapologetic portrayals of a working Black mom. Loud, loyal, and unapologetically herself, Tasha was both a top-tier sports manager and a ride-or-die mom to her son, Malik.
Their bond was messy, complicated, and so real. It showed the challenges of balancing ambition with motherhood, especially when you’re trying to break barriers in a male-dominated industry. Tasha raised Malik with tough love, but at the end of the day, it was always clear: nobody had his back like his mama.
Trudy Proud (The Proud Family)
Trudy Proud, voiced by Paula Jai Parker, was that mom who balanced her career as a veterinarian, Oscar’s chaotic get-rich-quick schemes, and being a mom of three with a whole lot of love (and side-eye when necessary).
With a perfect blend of patience, real talk, and "don't play with me" energy, Trudy raised Penny and her siblings with love, culture, and plenty of teachable moments. And let's not forget: when The Proud Family first dropped in 2001, it was one of the few animated shows centered on a Black family, giving an entire generation the representation we deserved—colorful, complicated, and full of heart.
Dee Mitchell aka Aunt Dee (Moesha)
Dee Mitchell (affectionately known as Aunt Dee) was that steady, loving force who knew how to keep it real without ever raising her voice. Played by Sheryl Lee Ralph, Dee stepped into the Mitchell household after marrying Moesha’s father and brought a much-needed dose of patience, structure, and heart to the family.
Navigating the complexities of blending a family, especially with a headstrong teenager like Moesha, was no small feat. She showed us that bonus moms are real moms too, and that sometimes, love is about showing up even when it’s not easy.
Honorable Mention: Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary)
Sheryl Lee Ralph has a knack for this TV moms stuff, and we couldn’t wrap this list without tipping our hat to another maternal role she’s played: thee Barbara Howard. While Barb is technically a mom, the show focuses on her role as a teacher at Abbott. But let’s be real, she's a full-on work mom to every kid (and adult—we’re talking to you, Janine) who crosses her path.
With wisdom, warmth, and a healthy dose of “baby, please,” Barbara shows up every day modeling excellence and patience. A true matriarch in the halls of Abbott Elementary and in our hearts.
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