What Is Human Design & How To Use It To Increase Intimacy
For some time now, the Human Design (HD) System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.
The Human Design System is comprised of four different archetypes: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. And the first step is figuring out which archetype you fall under, which you can do here. In order to get a better understanding of what Human Design is, we spoke with Human Design experts and hosts of DayLuna Human Design Podcast, Dana Stiles and Shayna Cornelius. Because I’m certain there will be burning questions surrounding love and HD, the DayLuna co-creators also share the best way to use the concept to deepen our romantic connections.
So, how can this information help you connect more intimately with your partners? Well, as excited as we are to share, we should begin by giving you an expert definition of Human Design and go from there.
What is Human Design?
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Though some refer to Human Design as ‘the new Astrology,’ Dana and Shayna expound on the definition, explaining, “Human Design is the science of differentiation. It is a modality that shows us how we are uniquely designed, how we are meant to use our energy in a different way than other people, and what our unique gifts and life purpose is.”
Furthermore, the co-creators add that it “pinpoints the way in which our energy flows as an individual while offering strategies and insight on how to use our energy correctly so that we can find personal alignment as we live our unique life purpose.”
The composition or roots of HD are a combination, utilizing ancient and modern sciences. “It synthesizes wisdom from the Chinese I-Ching, Western Astrology, Hindu Chakra System, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life and integrates this wisdom with Genetics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, and Biochemistry,” they add.
How Human Design Works Similar To and With Astrology
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Earlier we discussed very briefly that there are similarities between Human Design and Astrology and that the two could even be paired together. Dana and Shayna highlight this similarity further by saying, “Like Astrology, Human Design can tell you about your personality and how you operate, however, it is much more specific and detailed because it breaks each zodiac archetype down into smaller traits, which you may or may not have depending on your chart.”
They continue, “Understanding what your Human Design gifts are in these placements along with your own North and South Node zodiac placement is powerful in understanding your life purpose!” Our life purpose is something so many of us are in constant search of, which is why we even find ourselves drawn to religion, Astrology, or Human Design to begin with.
As humans, we are constantly in search of something “more” that informs us of why we were placed on this planet. And we do this to initiate and cultivate day-to-day guidance on the way to finding answers to our questions.
Human Design + You, Me & Intimacy
Getty ImagesNow that we know how Human Design can help us connect more deeply with ourselves, how does HD help us flourish in our external relationships? In a nutshell, the answer is self-love but with HD we can get more specific about what that looks like…thankfully. If you’ve ever been told to love yourself as the solution to finding romantic love, you know how batshit crazy the standalone advice without any guidance can be. But because HD goes in-depth, it can help you get to the bottom of what that may look like for you and how to best honor that.
When discussing the best way to elevate relationships using HD, Dana and Shayna pointed out that “understanding yourself, how you best operate, and how you are interacting with other people around you is so important when it comes to conscious relationships. Awareness always has to start with yourself. When you fully understand yourself and what alignment looks like for you, you can then understand others and release judgment and comparison.”
“This leads to more self-love and love for others. If you are struggling in a relationship, we invite you to get clear on who you are and how you best make decisions that are energetically correct for you (your HD chart can show you how) and then start making decisions within your relationship in this new way! This is the fastest way to transform any relationship in your life and even attract your dream partner.”
HD works by helping you to honor yourself first or so it seems. The one place that it differs from how we (mainstream culture not to be confused with experts) have begun to discuss Astrology is that no archetype is to be villainized. That said, there is no such thing as dating the wrong HD profile. According to our experts, you simply learn what and who feels in alignment with you, your truth, and your journey.
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“There are no Human Design charts that are better or worse when it comes to pairing/partnership. Human Design teaches you how to become your own authority in life and how to feel when something is in alignment for you or not. You then can make your own decision on if someone is right for you or not and trust that the truth you are feeling is energetically correct for you. Understanding your partner's chart is huge in understanding how you are both different/similar to each other. The best way to navigate any obstacle will become crystal-clear with this awareness.”
Additionally, the expert co-founders shared that there are three types of “connections” that you may stumble upon “depending on your charts”:
- Electromagnetic spark connection: You feel the chemistry when you are together, fireworks, and a sense of the feeling of "you complete me."
- Friendship connection: You have a lot of similarities in your charts and you feel a sense of "you get me."
- Dominating connection: One person leads in this area and the other follows and that feels good for both of you.
The two add that this just scratches the surface of how you may be connecting with your partner as you may have a combination of all three.
According to the experts, similar to humans, Human Design is complex and therefore deeply profound when you discover yourself through this system. As much as we seek out love, every piece of wisdom left behind for us indicates that the work begins and ends with us. By no means is this saying you must be healed and whole before you find love, but that you must be aware and have insight into yourself to even begin to know what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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