What is a Virgo like in love? A Libra? A Sagittarius or a Capricorn? It's no secret, looking up the zodiac sign of a person we're dating is something we all do from time to time, whether we are a true believer of the zodiac sign and horoscopes, or if we casually dabble in the metaphysics here and there. Whether it's keeping up with horoscopes monthly or researching what a *insert zodiac sign here* man does in love or why he's distant, we've all managed to drink from the horoscope Kool-Aid at one point or another.
In the dating game, I've found that horoscopes, particularly what someone's sun sign is, is something a lot of us out here want to know quick, fast, and in a hurry for the sake of compatibility. Even deeper than that, we crave knowing what a person is like in love to gain insight into a person's good traits and bad, but to also get a glimpse into someone's feelings for us based on how their zodiac sign is in love.
To help you figure out the key to solving your love life puzzle, below is how each of the 12 zodiac signs are in love.
1.Aries In Love
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Aries are typically super friendly people, and that makes them get along with just about everyone. But like most zodiac signs, they tend to be most compatible with their elemental group, which includes Sagittarius and Leo. Aries can be bright, bubbly, upbeat, outgoing, and very much about that action. However, Libras, the opposite sign of Aries, makes a great connection in the bedroom. Libras are givers and Aries are takers, and that combination works well together when things get more intimate.
When the Aries falls in love, they are unapologetic and unashamed at how much they love their partner. They are also one of the mushiest and most romantic of the zodiac signs. Being in a relationship with an Aries will never leave you bored, it will always be full of fun. You can expect lots of travel, sex, and adventure from the Ram.
Read more about the Aries sun sign in love here.
2.Taurus In Love
People who are normally drawn to a Taurus are attracted to their chill and sensual vibe. Taureans are always down for a good time. In love, a Taurus mostly get along well will other Earth signs (Capricorns and Virgos). Their favorite subjects to talk about are home improvements, food, shopping, and, of course, money. After all of that, take a nap together to top off their experience. They are most sexually compatible with Scorpios because they both take pleasure seriously and are committed to adventure as well as climaxing. This makes for a truly intense sexual bond.
Be their friend first. Keep it simple and peaceful.
Read more about the Taurus sun sign in love here.
3.Gemini In Love
Governed by their intellect, a Gemini in love doesn't necessarily require the emotional connection that is often associated with romantic relationships. This isn't to say that they don't have the capacity to be intimate. However, their sweet spot lies in the meeting of the minds. Symbolic of the twins, these curious lovers aspire to come into union with someone who can match their mental astute. It's imperative that their lover be able to hold a good conversation and even offer insights that Gemini hasn't even thought of themselves.
Throughout their early life, they have a tendency to date around before fate unites them with their twin. Bear in mind, that they aren't expecting you to be exactly like them. In actuality, they want you to be so damn comfortable being your most authentic, eccentric self that you seamlessly just gel into their lives like two quirky peas in a pod. As a mutable sign that is constantly evolving, it's important that their lover be flexible and open-minded to how expansive their Gemmie truly is.
Read more about the Gemini sun sign in love here.
4.Cancer In Love
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When it comes to love, Cancerians seek security. They are also attracted to people with strong family values. Best believe, they will definitely judge you by the way you treat your mother. You'll get some extra brownie points if you make an effort to connect with their parents as well. If a Cancer allows you into their precious space trust that, in due time, you will become an extension of their own family. It may take a little time for these cautious lovers to warm up to you but once they put down their guards, you can trust that you'll have a devoted partner for life.
They just don't allow any ol' body to access that part of themselves. Given their indirect—and sometimes passive-aggressive—nature, it's important for a Cancerian's partner to be just as perceptive as their crabby lover. They may not always tell you when something is wrong and more often than not, they hope you'll just "get it" like they often do. Once you start to learn the changing rhythms of their lunar energy, you'll be able to navigate their moodiness with ease and grace.
Read more about the Cancer sun sign in love here.
5.Leo In Love
What's the Leo zodiac sign like in love? In love, this affectionate zodiac sign loves to shower their significant other with words of affirmation and gifts. But this doesn't come without them vetting you first. Due to their generosity often being taken advantage of, Leo has learned the hard way that even their giving must have limits. To be their happiest, they must have a partner who is equally as generous (if not more). Leo needs a partner who doesn't mind stroking their ego with lavish expressions of love. If these sultry lovers don't feel worshipped, then it's a hard pass for them.
Being in a relationship with this fixed fire sign will test your patience at times given their stubborn, know-it-all nature. Sometimes it's best to just let them lead than to pick a fight. This doesn't mean you need to be a doormat; however, these feisty individuals do like a little push-back that could eventually lead to some frisky play time in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, Leo typically likes to dominate and they take a lot of pride in satisfying their lover.
Read more about the Leo sun sign in love here.
6.Virgo In Love
When it comes to a Virgo in love, there's a lot to unpack when it comes to "The Virgin" of the zodiac. Don't get it twisted though. These individuals are the epitome of "a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets". Often mislabeled as prudish, Virgo is far from that. Now, yes, they can be selective (as anybody should be when it comes to relationships and sex) but once they connect with someone that truly sees them for who they are beyond their neatly packaged image, they will completely give of themselves to their lover. Their natural willingness to serve others makes them superior in the bedroom (that is, of course, if they're not consumed by performance anxiety).
Before you're granted the privilege of being sexually intimate with them, you must first put in the work of winning over their approval. As critical as Virgo can be of others, this is merely a reflection of how they are with themselves. Oftentimes, their own worst enemy, this analytical zodiac sign needs someone doesn't overthink everything. If you want to impress a Virgo, the easiest way to do so is by offering to help them with practical tasks like cleaning up, running errands, and making sure they eat in the midst of their hectic schedule.
Read more about the Virgo sun sign in love here.
7.Libra In Love
With Venus as their planetary ruler, it's rare that you ever find the lovebirds alone. Their natural affinity for being in partnership typically makes them an easy person to be with. However, be equipped to read in between the lines if you're getting romantically involved with a Libra. They have a hard time speaking up even regarding the most annoying, and sometimes even disrespectful, behaviors. This isn't to say that they're naive and willing to put up with being mistreated for too long. Just like with anyone, they have their breaking point, too.
As accommodating as they can be, in love, it's important that Libra have a thoughtful lover that is willing to give their personal helper a little assistance as well. Even though they are self-sufficient when it comes to their work, it doesn't hurt to offer some assistance which can be as simple as figuring out where the two of you will eat for dinner. Known for being ridiculously indecisive, a simple decision can turn into a day-long affair. Although their inability to make a quick decision can get annoying after while, you'll equally find appreciation in their ability to see both sides of a story.
Read more about the Libra sun sign in love here.
8.Scorpio In Love
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More than likely, a Scorpio wrote the prototype marriage vows particularly that one line that emphasizes "until death do us part." Once they're in a relationship, they are in it which typically grants them the wherewithal to deal with toxic bullsh*t a lot longer than most—all for the sake of an eternal love. They are literally obsessed with the idea of finding, and possessing, that one special person that just gets all of their weird ways that most people don't have the patience to understand. If you're thinking about partnering up with one of these sultry hotties be prepared to merge your souls-- possibly through some sort of blood binding ritual that will seal your fates together for all of eternity. *inserts evil laugh*
Exaggeration or not, a Scorpio in love aims to go deep (in more ways than one). Commonly known as the freakiest sign of the zodiac, they aim to please but don't mind taking on a more dominating role either. Remember—they're ancient ruler is Mars. During sex, they prefer a rough ride whether they're the ones getting pushed around or the one handing out the lashings while they have you handcuffed to the bed. There will never be a dull moment in the bedroom with these pleasers.
Read more about the Scorpio sun sign in love here.
9.Sagittarius In Love
With freedom being their top priority, Sagittarius usually takes the longest to explore their options prior to "settling down." In their younger years, it's typically best to allow them free reign. Committing at a young age can be disastrous for them and anyone they're involved with due to their wandering eye. Over time, they'll eventually get tired of the fleeting, whirlwind romances that don't seem to amount to much but a sexy situationship. Given their impulsivity, they can be promiscuous when single.
Once they actually decide they want to be in a relationship, it's important to keep things fresh to keep them interested. Not one for vanilla sex, Sagittarius wants a partner who is open to exploring some unconventional methods. Out of all of the zodiac signs, they'd likely consider an open relationship. As much space as they need to do their own thing, a long-distance relationship could be perfect for them.
Read more about the Sagittarius sun sign in love here.
10.Capricorn In Love
Typically, a Capricorn in love likes to take their time in building a relationship. Remember, they are an Earth sign so they're going to move a little slower but usually with good reason. With their legacy being an important factor, they have no problem waiting until they hit the genetic jackpot. As driven as they are, it's important for their partner to have their own thing going on so they don't suffocate the poor Capricorn who gets a bit squeamish if emotions get involved too quickly.
Secretly, these composed lovers desire to surrender to wild romance; however, their Saturnian nature won't allow their feelings to trump their logic. It takes a special person to see through this defense mechanism and to not take it personally when they're immersed in their work (it's their happy, safe place). They have a tendency to distract themselves with work when their feelings get stirred up. In due time, they'll grant you access to their precious inner world in which you'll begin to see the innocence and purity that lies within them.
Read more about the Capricorn sun sign in love here.
11.Aquarius In Love
With an Aquarius, or any sign, it's important to learn their love language. As a masculine Air sign, this isn't the most emotionally expressive zodiac sign (although you'd be surprised by the chaos that is underneath the surface of their steely-eyed gaze). Sometimes referred to as the Ice Queen/King, it can take a little time for them to warm up to a new suitor. In the earlier stages of a connection, they're enticed by the idea of picking someone's brain to figure out who they're dealing with. The road to intimacy is a well thought-out process so you can forget about this sign falling head over heels for you (unless they have some prominent Water or Fire placements in their chart).
Oftentimes, it's common for an Aquarius to end up pursuing a relationship with a long-time friend. They like to know that there is common ground between them and their partner that isn't solely based on a physical attraction or the oh so dreaded feelings. Sometimes they can send mixed signals in an attempt to create emotional distance and to emphasize their independence. If they're not careful, someone can easily take their approach as a lack of interest.
Read more about the Aquarius sun sign in love here.
12.Pisces In Love
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As a mutable Water sign, Pisces can be a little difficult to figure out but that's also the allure about them. On one hand, they can be sympathetic and compassionate, while on the other hand they can be distrustful and wounded. Not one to dive in head first, they prefer to test the waters before taking the plunge. In the beginning, Pisces will only reveal but so much as they do possess a mystique about them.
Once you've passed the test, they'll happily reveal their innermost self to you. Given their power of subtle influence, they have the ability to get their needs met—usually without even being direct. This is a result of their mastered manipulative streak which can sabotage the growth of the authentic relationships they deeply crave. Their sacrificial nature and giant hearts make them a sucker for people who are suffering. They are weak to a good sob story and love to be the one to pick up the pieces.
Read more about the Pisces sun sign in love here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let’s do first things first — let’s define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of “What does platonic mean?”, the first thing that you’re (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of “of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex” (Merriam-Webster), “designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity” (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, “purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes” (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I’ll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word “platonic” actually come from? From what I’ve researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled “Symposium.” In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire; one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: “Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry.” A write-up on Merriam-Webster’s site stated that, “The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships.” Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that’s another article for another time, though (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”).
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word “platonic” is kind of used in “broad strokes” these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be “just friends,” I’m going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I’m pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally, even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I’ll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He’s super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often and some have told us that they assume that we’ve had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: “I told him, ‘He’s my brother. We would never mess around.'”
My Friend: “Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it.”
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: “Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives.” (That reminds me: check out, “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: “Girl, yeah. If I didn’t want to keep you in my life long-term, I would’ve tried to holla a long time ago!” And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these “for real?!” exchanges is, even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a “dormant seed” lying around somewhere…whether it’s one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life, we’ve had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren’t exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you’re not sure about “his”…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you’ve got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you’ve never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he’s someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it’s one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who’s been together for more than five years and I’ll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?”).
Yeah, just because you’ve filed someone in the “I see him as a good guy” category, that doesn’t automatically mean that y’all’s friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don’t get it twisted — I’ve considered him because, on so many levels, we “fit.” So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are “good friends” yet it’s not exactly platonic.
I’m not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would’ve been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn’t make you want to throw up in your mouth, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there’s a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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