Goddess Erykah Badu said, "Write it down on real paper, with a real pencil, and watch shit get real." And if Erykah said it, it's law. More than ever, we are consumed with our phones and laptops that the craft of planners and journals have become somewhat obsolete. We also think that 2020 didn't help with all of its drama – people literally burned their planners after March. In a Zoom kinda world, I'm still glad I got my planner.
What better way to set the tone for this new year than with a planner full of intention? Using a planner has shown to have benefits including better time management, realistic productivity, improved focus and lower stress levels. Without further ado, we have gathered six planners that will change your life in the most fabulous way!
The Book’d Store
The Book'd Store
I fell head over heels in love with my Book'd Planner last year despite the year being a shit show. It was an easy purchase because of the beautiful product AND the creators are Black women. According to Tamera and Adrienne, "Book'd Store is a luxury stationery and lifestyle brand for Black women that is super stylish, uniquely quirky, and most importantly, speaks directly to who we are." Each page has an inspirational quote to help you plan your life and be intentional about how you'll slay each day. It's the details, the stickers, and the everything for us.
BlackCoilsPaperie 2021 Personalized Black and Educated Planner
Black Coils Paperie
This handmade planner is a crowd favorite. You can customize the cover with your name and title to really show off your boss babe status. It means everything to see the Black woman clipart all up and through these pages. You can even choose different date ranges in case you're still processing 2020. Between your many goals and priorities, the Black and Educated Planner is most definitely a winner.
The Magic Is In You 2021 Planner
Papier
You are the magic, baby girl. And the magic will only get more powerful as you start to organize your plans and goals. Papier created this planner with you in mind. Made up of weekly, monthly, and daily overviews, you can easily document all the things on the smoothest paper ever. You can also personalize the cover to your liking.
Black Girl in Love with Herself Organizer / Planner
Black Girl in Love
Made for a Black girl by a Black girl, Trey's lifestyle planner will have you feeling like you have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce. It's the perfect place to write down everything, from your hair appointments to your next vacation. Consider this the planner dedicated to meeting the professional needs of Black women so we can really fall in love with our essence.
Savor Life Planner
Savor
Daily Worth claims the Savor Planner is, "The planner that changed my life." We believe it's life-changing because it's centered around self-care. Inside the planner, you'll find four monthly calendars, 90-day vision worksheets, Organize Your Gorgeous Chaos layouts, and a place to Detox Your Brain. Before you know it, you'll be taking it one day at a time and you'll need a new 90-day planner.
BeatificHappyPlanner
BeatificHappyPlanner
Create the life you desire with this weekly planner. It is devoted to helping you learn to value yourself by fighting for your happiness. One of our favorite things about this planner is that you can choose the color of the cover to match your skin tone. Not only are there pages to show gratitude but there are also amazing plans for your diet, hydration, and self-reflection questions to help set goals.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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When I came across a way to maximize the pleasure I receive from cunnilingus (already), I had no choice but to tap in. Who knew the key to taking oral sex to new heights was giving it a sideways twist? For those of you who might also be interested in ways to spice up the way you do oral, experience faster and stronger orgasms, or simply want to indulge in something new with your partner, the Kivin Method could definitely be the oral sex technique for you, too.
Keep reading to learn about the method that is sure to have you writhing in ecstasy in no time at all.
What Is The Kivin Method?
For the uninitiated, the Kivin Method is an oral sex technique that focuses on stimulating the clitoris from a different angle. Dubbed “sideways oral” by some, this method involves the action of giving head from a side-to-side movement as opposed to the up-and-down motion that people typically perform when giving head. (If you need a visual, this illustration is helpful.)
The difference in approach as you’re receiving head can be a game-changer in how you receive pleasure. Not only does the giving partner have access to the clitoris, but they can also access more easily the vulva and the labia, which are objectively a bigger focus in this version of cunnilingus. More access means wider coverage, and that, plus the new sensation of oral from a different angle, can heighten the way you experience oral sex that much more.
Where more pleasure flows, intense orgasms are sure to follow.
Getty Images
How To Do The Kivin Method
If you want to know how to do the Kivin Method, it’s actually pretty straightforward. The receiver lays on their back while the giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver. Their head will be facing the vulva, but instead of vertical, their face will be horizontal to the vulva.
From there, the giver can get to business, ensuring that they keep their head perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva while working on their craft. Because this technique can be more intense for some receivers, start slowly by stroking the vulva and clitoris sideways with the tongue, and allow sensations and communication from the receiver to be a guide of what you need more or less of with the Kivin Method.
Ultimately, the Kivin Method allows experimentation and unlocking what pressure, rhythm, and tricks work best for the giver and the receiver. Try implementing a finger or two, or adding a sex toy to the mix to intensify the act even further.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
