A bomb highlighter is the embodiment of black girl magic. The shades, accents and sizes are endless but sometimes finding the one for you can be a struggle. For us brown skin girls, the key is to choose illuminators that are on the warmer side and stay away from whites and pinks. We are so thankful for products that instantly brighten our faces and lights up our lives.
We want the sun and the stars to see our highlighter so we found eight fire products that will make certain the world sees your phosphorescence. Keep reading for more.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
TOM FORD Skin Illuminating Powder Duo
Saks Fifth Avenue
Alexa, play "Tom Ford" by Jay-Z. Not only is the song a bop, this highlighter will have you glowing like the top of the Chrysler building. The application is as smooth as cocoa butter. It captures the two most flattering parts of your face that catches natural light.
Anastasia Beverly Hills Sun Dipped Glow Kit®
Anastasia Beverly Hills' Glow Kit should low-key be renamed "Ultralight Beam" because the glow is just different. If you're a beauty buff, you know these are in high demand and it's because it is unmatched.
The shades in this kit include:
- Bronzed (Amber with a penny metal finish)
- Tourmaline (Warm taupe with a rose gold finish)
- Moonstone (Radiant quartz with a pearl finish)
- Summer (Luminous sand with a white gold finish)
Black Radiance Artisan Color Baked Bronzer
Black Radiance was designed for our skin so we absolutely love to see it! Their Artisan Color Baked Bronzer makes you radiate from the inside out. What more can you ask for at this price point?
BECCA Shimmering Skin Perfector Liquid Highlighter, 1.7 fl oz
Liquid highlighter can be tricky but this Becca formula has luminous pearl pigments which makes for a beautiful blend. The product is great to use for a natural look and you can also build on it for a super beat.
MAC Mineralize Skin Finish in Gold Deposit
The OG of makeup brands, MAC, has a slow-baked highlighter destined to give you that sun-kissed luminosity. The skin-finish is both natural and dimensional.
Milani Baked Highlighter
Between the pigmentation and the price, we can't help but be here for this highlighter. The warm undertones make it ideal for melanin. For the best look, grab your fan brush and sweep the product across your cheekbones, cupid's bow and bridge of the nose.
black Up Sublime Light Compact Powder
You already know that when it's by us it's most definitely for us. black|Up is the first French beauty brand dedicated to women of color. If you're going for a natural shimmer, this compact powder will get you together.
e.l.f. Jelly Highlighter
e.l.f.'s Jelly Highlighter is one of my favorites because it can be used in various ways. I use it mostly on days when I don't feel like doing makeup so it serves as a standalone glow-getter.
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Featured image by Joce Blake/xoNecole
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images