Pandemic Pivot: How These Entrepreneurs Owned Their Shift Against The Odds
We all know that the pandemic has made life quite tough. We feel it. We understand it. We are living through it. But with every cloud, there's a silver lining, and it's great to be inspired by powerful women who have been able to surpass just surviving and find ways to thrive, especially professionally.
Take a cue from these three entrepreneurs who were able to throw fear and panic to the wind and get to the bag by being creative, remaining resilient, and using their talents to stay afloat:
Multiple Streams of Income and Going 100% Digital Saved the Day for Rhonesha Byng
Courtesy of Rhonesha Byng
When Rhonesha Byng founded Her Agenda, an online community for millennials, in 2008, it was a recessionary time around the world that posed challenges for professionals and businesses alike. She has been able to tap into the creativity, resilience, and tenacity built during that time to find success during today's pandemic. "When Her Agenda first launched we were unable to raise investment capital from venture capitalists so we doubled down on building our revenue streams."
Her platform offers content on job seeking, career advancement, mentorship and entrepreneurship and has expanded to provide exclusive resources via Her Agenda INSIDERS where professionals pay for membership and get access to mentorship services, exclusive events, job listings from the hidden market, and peer-to-peer connections. Her Agenda also worked with companies to reach and serve millennials.
"Our biggest revenue driver was our work with brands for sponsored content. This all came to a complete stop in March which impacted us greatly as a business, but we could still make it through (and pay our writers and team) because although our INSIDER community isn't our biggest revenue source, it is consistent."
During COVID, she decided to take Her Agenda 100% digital. "We were used to doing a mix of in-person and virtual programming, but now we are all virtual. We had to get creative with how we work with our partners and sponsors so we could still provide value and engagement," Byng says. "Recently, we kicked off a new partnership with Bank of America called Property and Power to educate millennial women about affordable and sustainable homeownership. Within this series, we're offering a mix of articles and live virtual events across Twitter, Instagram and culminating toward a live panel that will replicate the feeling of being in person and allow our audience to get answers to the questions they have about the homeownership process."
Thinking about how to expand her revenue streams while serving her customers and community, which includes thousands of millennial professionals and entrepreneurs, was her saving grace. "What helped us to hone in on this idea was using the Business Model Canvas to define our value proposition and map out the business," Byng adds. "This is when the idea for INSIDERS came about and we launched our online community hosted in a private app. The lesson in this is of course [to] have multiple revenue streams, but beyond that, look to your audience, build it into a community, and don't be afraid to come to them for support or create a pathway that allows them to support you while you provide a service in return!"
Byng also recommends doing your research and finding other ways you can monetize what you offer. "There are so many resources that have been created during the pandemic to support Black women-owned businesses," she says. "It can be a lot to keep up with, which is why I personally curate a monthly grant round up email to provide our audience with the information of the grant programs, fellowships, and funding opportunities they should have on their radar."
Relying on Her Tribe and Purpose Led to Eunique Jones Gibson Expanding Her Brand
Photo by Ashleigh Bing
As founder of Because of Them We Can, Eunique Jones Gibson wanted to continue to expand her purpose of linking culture and community. She initially came up with the idea of a game centered on black culture in 2019, and she began keeping ideas about it on the Notes app on her phone. She knew she wanted to do something that would further highlight black excellence and be a fun way for people to connect and be entertained. Being a master at figuring out acronyms, she had an aha moment, and in came #CultureTags. After talking about the game with close friend and author Luvvie Ajayi, she was urged to get started with making the idea a reality. "She showed up for me and really pushed for me to double down on my dopeness," Gibson recalls.
Gibson decided to look further to her extended tribe and launched a Kickstarter, getting more than $35,000 in support and receiving thousands of pre-orders. She also began doing live events with her community where the game could be played and experienced in real time. A representative from Target noticed what she was doing and the success of the Kickstarter campaign, and Gibson was able to connect further with their team to get the game into stores this year. She gave the "pitch of her life," went through the supplier production planning and vetting process, and the rest is history. The game hit shelves shortly after Thanksgiving and just in time for Christmas. "It's like Taboo for the culture," Gibson says. "You can play it in person or virtually." The game tests players' knowledge of popular phrases and concepts specific to black culture, from entertainment to music to fashion and more.
For other entrepreneurs who are looking to pivot and continue expanding their brands, Gibson says, "Be open to inspiration [and] don't box yourself into one perspective." She also adds that having a good team of people around you and leaning on your tribe and your purpose within that tribe is more than important. "For me, it's always been culture and community, and it makes it easier to move to something else when there's that common thread of purpose."
Switching Industries and Using Soft Skills Brought Shana Cole Bankable Wins
Courtesy of Shana Cole
Shana Cole started her makeup line All Dolled Up Cosmetics in 2014, and since then, the brand has evolved into The Shana Cole Collection and expanded from Kingston, Jamaica to the U.S. As a makeup artist and stylist, she's worked with the who's who of the Caribbean, from radio and TV host Khadine "Miss Kitty" Hylton to dancehall sensations Vanessa Bling and CeCile, to top professionals at corporate powerhouse Sangicor. Her brand also caught the attention of dozens of social media and beauty influencers, which led to even more growth in sales.
For someone who's whole business was about person-to-person contact, COVID-19 put more than a dent in her revenue and further expansion. Cole had to make some hard decisions. "We were locked inside so no one was really wearing makeup," Cole says. "I had one store in the Bronx, and I still have a store in Jamaica. They both were closed for months because of COVID and that led me to paying all the bills out of pocket. I ended up closing the one in the Bronx after realizing that I won't be opening back up fully any time soon. Even when [the world] opened up a little, I still didn't really want to run back to doing makeup because the contact between clients and I would be so close and doing their makeup while they wear a mask, I couldn't even imagine it."
Being the enterprising woman she is, she decided to get into an area where there was clearly a need, especially with COVID-19 driving everyone to focus more on feeling good and surviving. She decided to become an independent contractor with Total Life Changes (TLC), a direct sales company that offers supplements, wealth-building, essential oil and hygiene products.
"I started my health and wellness business back in October but didn't have the time to give it full attention until the lockdown. At that time, I started caking on that because that's where my focus went and that's how I was able to pay all my bills. I ranked all the way up [in sales] through the entire course of COVID, and I was just hitting ranks back to back. I would say it has been a blessing and a curse, but I'm still thankful because I did really big numbers and learned so much."
Cole says that she began being more vocal about the wellness products and got serious about gaining more knowledge of the business. "I stayed consistent so people could see that I take my business seriously. I am now at a brand-new rank within my company—the 2nd highest—and I have ladies who I work with who also learned to be consistent and were able to do really well in the business. I have earned multiple six figures during COVID which pits me to the most money I've ever made from a business in such a short space of time." She adds that she even found new love, made connections with other high-earning businesswomen, and has been coached by the best of the best in the wellness industry. "It sounds weird but I've had the most success I've ever had during the pandemic."
Building relationships and closing sales was nothing new to Cole, and she was able to use those soft skills to win big in a totally different industry. She says discipline and holding on to hope helped her transition into a new business adventure. "You can't prevent what happens in the world, so you just have to pray about it, help who you can, and continue doing what you do because life still happens. Stay consistent no matter what. If you truly believe in your business or career, you are going to do what it takes to take it to the next level."
Featured image courtesy of Rhonesha Byng
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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Feature image by fizkes/ Getty Images