I’ve got a girlfriend (who’s been married for over 35 years, mind you) who is very low-maintenance when it comes to her vagina. In her mind, so long as she washes her kitty cat on a daily basis, she’s done her part. I mean, she never talks about having any “issues” down there (and we speak pretty freely), and she has been married for damn near four decades (salute!) — so, I guess the minimalist approach suits her and hers just fine. LOL.
Me, though? The more time that I spend on this earth with my vagina (and vulva), the more it fascinates me — and the more I want to learn about how to enjoy “her” better and more. And that’s pretty much why I keep cranking out “the more you know” pieces on the vagina…and her surrounding areas.
What’s up for today? Ten things that don’t really come up in conversation — when the vagina is openly discussed, that is — that may sound weird at first, and yet, they can actually bring a smile to your hoo-ha’s face (umm, so to speak) if you’re simply willing to give them a shot. Are you ready to see what those things are?
1. Pistachios
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Okay, so whoever likes pistachios, please hop into the comments and break it all down for me. There aren’t too many foods that I absolutely don’t understand, but that nut (and dill)? Uh-huh. LOL. Still, as a writer, I’ve gotta share more than what I like, and so, when it comes to a healthy snack, pistachios are actually pretty damn impressive. They’ve got a lot of fiber and a ton of protein and are a solid source of copper as well as vitamin B.
Plus, pistachios are packed with antioxidants, can help you to achieve/maintain your weight goals and they help to keep your cholesterol levels where they need to be, too. And why would your vagina not mind if you chomped on a few of these nuts? Something else pistachios can do is help keep your arteries in good condition so that blood is able to flow freely. If you know anything about what makes for a good orgasm, you know that excellent blood circulation plays a significant part.
2. A Metal Spoon
Can you guess what a metal spoon can do for your vagina? Well, if you can’t seem to find your favorite sex toy or you want to get a bit creative, a metal spoon can certainly come in handy. If you freeze it first, it can be pretty damn stimulating if you’re into temperature play, or if you add lubricant to it, the texture of the metal spoon, along with the moisture of the lube, could make for an unexpected orgasm — especially if you lightly tap your clitoris or move the spoon on it in a circular motion.
3. Kudzu
In Asia, kudzu is considered to be a type of arrowroot. In America, it’s a weed. Either way, if menopause-related symptoms are causing you to experience vaginal dryness, consuming some kudzu could help to bring about some relief. Plus, since some studies say that it’s also an all-natural remedy for inflammation and headaches — I mean, what could it hurt to at least give it a shot? (You should be able to find it at your local vitamin or health food store in capsule or extract form.)
4. Condom-Covered Food
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If you’ve heard that you should never put food into your vagina — the answer is yes and no. I mean, without getting too deep into it, a frozen banana (that has the peel taken off of it) caressing some spots ain’t never hurt nobody…so long as a condom was placed over it first.
Yep, therein lies the trick if you want to get a little creative with some of those edible aphrodisiacs. You can always cover them up with a prophylactic or two, add a bit of lube, and then dive in (again, so to speak). Just make sure that the food is a solid and that it’s well covered up first. The last thing you want to do is spend half of the night trying to dig out some banana strings, otherwise known as phloem bundles — umm, I heard. #wink
5. Tugging
One day, semi-soon, I will pen a piece about the various types of vaginal massages that are good for you. For now, I’ll just say that if you’ve never given yourself this type of massage before, you are totally missing out, sis. — including when it comes to tugging. Warming up your fingers and using your thumb and index finger to gently “tug” at your clitoris (or clitoral hood) and then allowing the skin to “bounce back” can provide a stimulating sensation that is a great stress release or an enticing form of foreplay…if you want someone else to do the tugging instead.
6. Pickles
Since 80 percent of your immunity is in your gut, it’s important that you prioritize its health; probiotics are one way to do that, and fermented foods are packed with them. The connection between probiotics and your vaginal health is they can help to give your vagina the type of “good bacteria” that can keep infections at bay. One type of food that can get you the probiotics that you need is pickles — fermented ones, that is.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Aren’t all pickles fermented?” the answer is actually, no. The other ingredient that can give pickles their tanginess is vinegar, so if you want a fermented one, look for pickles that say that on the packaging, or you can always ferment your own (instructions for how to do that are located here).
Hey, pickles also have antioxidants, are a good source of vitamin K, and are a low-calorie snack, so if you enjoy them, now you can feel really good about it.
7. Frankincense Oil
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Ugh. Ingrown pubic hairs are the absolute worst, ain’t they? Although doing things like exfoliating your skin prior to shaving your pubic region (if shaving is what you do) and replacing your razor blade after every 5-7 uses can help to keep ingrown hairs from becoming too much of a problem, if you’ve already got one, try applying some frankincense oil to it.
Thanks to its strong antiseptic properties, applying a bit of the oil to an ingrown hair can help reduce swelling, clean out any bacteria, and even lessen any discomfort that may be associated with the inflammation that comes from the bump(s). Just make sure to use it externally, not internally. Essential oils can burn like a mutha otherwise.
8. Cortisone Cream
So, what happens if, after shaving your va-jay-jay, some incessant itching follows? Honestly, one of the best remedies to bring you almost instantaneous relief is some good ole’ cortisone cream. It relieves itching, reduces swelling, and it can help to get rid of redness and other forms of irritation, too. Just make sure that you apply it to the outer part of your vulva; you can sting and further irritate your inner labia otherwise.
Oh, and if you’d prefer a more chemical-free approach, try a mixture of coconut oil and tea tree oil. Coconut oil’s antimicrobial properties and anti-inflammatory properties can help to soothe skin issues (including eczema), and tea tree oil can soothe itching and kill irritating bacteria on contact as well (although it’s not recommended that you use it to treat eczema; it is good for psoriasis, though).
9. Crotchless Panties
I’ve always found crotchless panties to be sexy. I’m not exactly sure why. Actually, now that I’m putting some real thought into it as I’m writing all of this out, I think it’s because I like the concept of lingerie so much, and crotchless drawers make it possible for you to be both dressed up and naked at the same time.
Plus, let’s not act like they don’t provide easy access (which makes them hella convenient), along with the fact that they allow your vagina to breathe without being irritated by popular lingerie fabrics like lace (which is always a good thing). Anyway, there goes my quick commercial for why every woman should own at least a couple of pairs of crotchless panties. Do you?
10. Peppermint
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If you’ve never brought menthol into your boudoir, why the hell not? Not only does it help to provide an incomparable type of tingling sensation, but menthol also has the ability to trigger the feeling of cool receptors in the body — which means that it can be another type of temperature play (who knew?).
What I personally like about peppermint (or wintergreen) especially is it can be great for the giver as well as the receiver as far as oral sex goes. For the giver, it’s a nice taste, and for the receiver, it gives all the feels. So, keep some peppermint candy by your nightstand. It’s a sweet (pun intended) move.
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There you have it — pseudo-quirky things that your vagina (and vulva) will thank you for.
Just try it and see.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023