October is bringing the gifts of the harvest Full Moon right out of the gate. It's time to reap the rewards for all of the hard work you've put in since the spring. After a six-month retrograde, Pluto finally goes direct, helping you feel more empowered after undergoing some deep, soul work. Of course, when one planet goes direct another goes retrograde and this month it's Mercury transiting between Scorpio and Libra. The New Moon on the 16th encourages us to restore balance to our lives while a second Full Moon on Halloween invites us to indulge in the sensual pleasure of life.
Check out your sign to see what's in store for you in the month ahead:
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOctober requires a little more patience than you'd prefer but a subtle shift in your perspective can transform some challenging energies into personal testimonies. The Full Moon on the 1st sets the tone for your winner's mindset, helping you burn through any illusions that keep you stuck in victim mode. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo inviting you to fall in love with the details. You're a visionary at heart but sometimes you need help grounding your brilliant ideas into reality. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you're ready to approach any career challenges with more tenacity than ever before.
Mercury goes retrograde on the 13th, encouraging you to dive deep into your personal healing by stocking up on self-help books or checking in with your therapist. The New Moon on the 16th could find you taking a commitment to the next level or partnering up with someone new in business. When the Sun enters Scorpio, the allure of nurturing more intimacy can lead you to a deeply transformative connection. Towards the end of the month, Mercury shifts your attention towards renegotiating contracts and boundaries within personal relationships. The month wraps up with a rare occurrence of a second Full Moon clarifying what changes need to be made to increase your earning potential and create the life of luxury that you deserve.
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOctober kicks off with a Full Moon enhancing your intuitive abilities and connection with the spirit world. Pour some libations for your warrior ancestors or guides to assist you in overcoming any obstacles. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo making it a perfect time to plan the perfect romantic outing for you and bae. Get creative and try not to take things too seriously if they don't go exactly as planned. Remember—it's the thought that counts. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, opportunities to share your wisdom and spiritual ideologies may present themselves. This is also a favorable time for traveling abroad to a place that your soul is longing to return.
Mercury retrograde begins on the 13th, giving you a chance to renegotiate contracts or the expectations within a relationship. The New Moon could suggest that it's time for a new routine or work environment. Setting intentions for improving your physical and mental health is also supported. When the Sun enters Scorpio, communication can be murky, thanks to Mercury retro doing his thing. If possible, avoid signing contracts during this transit or pay close attention to the fine print! On the 27th, Mercury and Venus shift your focus to reorganizing your workspace or getting into a better flow with your schedule. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon in your sign helping you see yourself and your potential for greatness even more clearly.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe Full Moon on the 1st illuminates your social network (and possibly your presence online), making this a supportive time to launch your new product, service, or merchandise. When Venus enters Virgo, it's time to get your home in order for hibernation season. Stock up on your fave fall-scented candles and whip out your Halloween decor. We may be socially distancing this year but you can still enjoy a party at home with you and the myriad of other personalities you embody. On the 13th, Mercury goes retro, making it a good time to schedule that doctor's appointment for any recurring health concerns.
The New Moon on the 16th is supportive for starting a new creative project or meeting a new boo that you could potentially be cuddling up with during cuffing season. When the Sun enters Scorpio, you have the potential to cut out some bad habits that are affecting your mental and physical health. Sometimes a simple shift in your daily routine—like going to sleep earlier—could make all the difference. On the 27th, Mercury and Venus shift gears helping you tie up loose ends on a creative project. Just try not to get too distracted by any old fling(s) popping up during this transit. The Full Moon at the end of the month will provide you with the clarity you need on whether you should give someone a second chance or leave their text message on read.
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a passionate Full Moon in Aries motivating you to overcome any obstacles that stand in the way of you and your success. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo, encouraging you to organize that million-dollar idea you have into a business pitch with a detailed strategy intact. Your relationships take your healing process even deeper when Pluto goes direct. Remember that anything you don't like about someone else is likely a suppressed behavior within you. On the 13th, Mercury begins its retrograde, making this a perfect time to revisit a creative project or childhood hobby. Don't be surprised if an old fling pops up just in time for cuffing season.
The New Moon on the 16th has you looking to plant your roots somewhere, making this a good time to start looking for a new property to invest into. Just wait until next month to sign your name on the dotted line. On the 22nd, the Sun meets up with Mercury which could make communication weird between you and a romantic interest. There's a thin line between privacy and secrecy. Lead with honesty. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus shift gears bringing your focus to family and home matters. Beautify your space for the fall to create a cozy environment for entertaining your loved ones. On the 31st, the Full Moon brings a long-term goal of yours to fruition, giving you reason to celebrate your hard work. Call up your friends for a small gathering to revel in your victory.
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleAn opportunity to share your expertise on a larger platform could present itself around the Full Moon on the 1st. It's time to let your individuality shine forth boldly as you inspire those around you to do the same. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo, inviting you to get your retail therapy habit under control. When Pluto goes direct, you'll have even more willpower to make better decisions when it comes to your money. On the 13th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to revisit any recent decisions you've made about your home environment. This isn't the best time to sign any contracts for that new home or apartment but if you must pay special attention to the fine print and ask someone else to look over the contract with you.
The New Moon on the 16th is a good time to sharpen your negotiating skills before you decide to sign your name on the dotted line. On the 22nd, the Sun links up with Mercury, bringing your focus to healing generational trauma. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus shift your attention, communicating more effectively to assure that everyone involved in the relationship is satisfied. If you're into social media marketing, this is the perfect time to amp up your charm to attract new clientele or customers. October comes to a close with a rare second Full Moon on the 31st reminding you that persistent effort is always rewarded.
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOctober kicks off with a Full Moon in Aries helping you burn through the facade to allow your individuality to shine forth. Past experiences that made you feel like an outcast or weirdo no longer sting as much as they once did. On the 2nd, Venus enters your sign, opening up the floodgate of blessings that come when you're living in your authentic truth. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you're ready to express this deep appreciation for the journey that molded you into who you are through a creative project or artistic expression. On the 13th, Mercury goes retro, inviting you to dive deeper into your esoteric studies. Exploring astrology, divination, and metaphysics can help you unlock doors you've only dreamt of walking through.
Around the middle of the month, the New Moon is a supportive time to plant seeds for that new stream of income you want to grow. This is also a favorable time for solidifying a business partnership. On the 22nd, the Sun meets up with Mercury, helping you dive into more meaningful conversations that lead you and others through a transformative, healing process. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus invite you to revisit your budget and make some adjustments where necessary. This is also a time to assess whether the energy you're investing into an endeavor is paying out a good return. The month closes out with a bang with a rare-occurring second Full Moon encouraging you to share your spiritual gems with others through writing or teaching. Traveling abroad could be just the experience you need to level up spiritually, making this a perfect time to book a vacation to that special place your soul has been longing to return.
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month takes off with a fiery Full Moon helping you get clear about what your boundaries are and who actually respects them. People that don't make the cut will likely be removed from your life. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo which has you inclined to lay low and cuddle up with your fave person. Love matters take on a more private approach during this transit which can help you cultivate more intimacy with someone you'd like to grow closer to. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you're feeling more confident in your leadership abilities and ready to face any career challenges head-on.
On the 13th, Mercury goes retro, inviting you to reassess your budget and make changes where necessary. Avoid making major purchases during this transit. The New Moon in your sign is the perfect time for a fall makeover. When the Sun and Mercury meet up on the 22nd, discussions about shared resources may arise within a partnership. Ask yourself if this person is more of a liability than an asset. On the 27th, Mercury and Venus shift gears, making you the center of the conversation. Everybody and they mama wants to be all up in your business. You may even be revisited by an ex. Assert those boundaries when necessary. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon freeing you up from a financial responsibility, or debt, that has been looming over your head.
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOctober kicks off with a Full Moon giving you the courage to finally ditch that bad habit that's been affecting your health. This is also a time to make some adjustments to your daily routine to support your overall well-being. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo helping you gain some traction on social media. Ask yourself how you can better serve your online community to reap the rewards of more followers and engagement. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you're ready to share more about your personal healing process through your blog or an IG live session. On the 13th, Mercury goes retro, making you the go-to person for everyone to share their secrets.
The New Moon on the 16th helps you get to the root of any unbalanced relationship patterns that need to be cleared out of your subconscious. On the 22nd, the Sun meets up with Mercury which could make communication a little murky. If someone is trying to sell you something, take their recommendation with a grain of salt. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus team up to help you reestablish balance in your life by inviting you to connect with your Higher Power and the deeper meaning of your life. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon on Halloween making it clear where you and a significant other stand. Be prepared for some changes within an existing relationship or business partnership as they're ultimately aligning you with more compatible options.
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a passionate Full Moon making it the perfect date night for you and that cutie you've been eyeing on that dating app. Fortune favors the bold, sis. Don't be afraid to shoot your shot. If you've been working on anything creative, this is the perfect time to reveal your artwork to the world. On the 2nd, Venus moves into Virgo which helps you attract some blessings when it comes to your career. You're finally receiving the recognition for all of your hard work. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you're feeling more fiscally responsible to make some major boss moves to secure your financial security.
On the 13th, Mercury goes retro which has your excessively talkative self tight-lipped about something you're working on behind the scenes. The New Moon on the 16th has you moving and shaking amongst a new crowd that can help you accomplish your dreams. When the Sun and Mercury meet up on the 22nd, you may find it difficult to contain your excitement but some of your recent moves are better kept private for the time being. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus link up making you a magnet on social media, meaning this a supportive time to revamp your online image or your brand. October comes to a close with a sensual Full Moon inviting you to enjoy yourself but be mindful of overdoing it.
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOctober begins with an intense Full Moon that could result in you calling it quits and moving residence—especially if you and a family member aren't seeing eye-to-eye. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo and your wanderlust has your sights set on an international excursion that will give you just the kind of reset that you need. When Pluto goes direct, you're feeling way more confident (and less emo) after going through a Dark Night of the Soul. The lessons may have been grueling but you've come out on the other side more self-aware and empowered than ever before.
Around the middle of the month, Mercury goes retro, giving you a chance to catch up with old friends that you haven't seen since the beginning of the pandemic. On the 16th, the New Moon invites you to plant seeds for the next career milestone that you want to accomplish. The Sun and Mercury link up on the 22nd, which has you craving more deep conversations with your social circle that carry on late into the midnight hours. If you've got something personal to share, call up a friend instead of telling Twitter all of your business. On the 27th, Mercury and Venus shift gears to help you attract just the right people with information that can help you get ahead in your chosen career field. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon encouraging you to reveal that creative project or ditch the non-committal loser that's wasting your time.
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe feisty Full Moon on the 1st has you ready to talk yo' shit regardless of how others may receive your truth. When Venus enters Virgo, you could be attracting some unexpected financial support through a credit lender, grant, or that sugar daddy you used to entertain. On the 4th, Pluto goes direct, giving you the power to push past the limitations of your subconscious. You are more than capable of achieving success in whatever way you define it for yourself. On the 13th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to revisit some key conversations related to your career development. An opportunity that you thought passed you by may be circling back around because you're actually ready for it now.
The New Moon on the 16th encourages you to expand your knowledge through self-study or formal education to position yourself as a guide or teacher for others. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 22nd and links up with Mercury, making this a good time to step into a leadership role. You don't need a ton of experience to influence others. You just need to share your testimony to inspire them instead. On the 27th, Mercury and Venus shift gears, making this a good time to start planning that holiday getaway. The month wraps up with a Full Moon that could have you uprooting from your current home to establish yourself elsewhere.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleMoney matters take center stage with the Full Moon on the 1st. You may have some revelations about the way you're making money. If you're interested in striking out on your own as an entrepreneur, this energy supports you in doing so. On the 2nd, Venus enters Virgo, inviting you to make some plans within an established relationship. When Pluto goes direct on the 4th, you'll begin to notice the effects of the transformation you've undergone over the past several months—especially within your friendships. On the 13th, Mercury goes retrograde, making this a good time to dive deeper into your studies about spirituality and esoteric topics.
The New Moon on the 16th supports you in receiving the financial support that you need to start up that business or get that home loan. On the 22nd, the Sun and Mercury meet up and you're in the mood to travel. Hold off on doing so during the retrograde but feel free to start making plans for a holiday getaway. Towards the end of the month, Mercury and Venus shift gears, making this a good time to review shared resources that you have with bae or your business partner. If you've got outstanding debts, it's time to get serious about paying it off (or you can always opt for deferring your student loan for the 3rd time). October closes with a Full Moon placing the spotlight on your social media presence. If you've got a product or service to launch, here's your chance to really make an impression.
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We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Everything You Need To Know About Embodying Black Cat Energy In Relationships
Black cat energy is all the hype right now. It’s heralded as a key to a thriving love life that centers you as the prize, particularly to the golden retriever type of lover.
If you consider yourself mysterious, smart, playful, and highly selective of who you give your affection to, then you’re already exuding what TikTokers have coined as “black cat energy.” Or maybe you’re struggling with the mindboggling loop of dating the wrong lovers that make you feel like you’re chasing after them, and you want to learn how to flip the roles to make bae obsessed with you.
Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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