Melissa Butler Sparks Innovation & Beauty Ingenuity With New Complexion-Based Launch
Melissa Butler is a makeup pioneer. In 2012, when her beauty brand, The Lip Bar, was first launched, it was rare to find lip products bold enough to represent daring makeup enthusiasts, yet subtle enough to complement the range of skin tones for Black and brown customers. For The Lip Bar, the mission was clear: challenge the status quo within the industry and increase visibility for Black women to be seen and understood as their own standard of beauty.
When she first launched her widely popular lipstick line, Melissa was building her plane in the sky at a time where most of the conversations around diversity and inclusion within the beauty industry were still just faint chatter. In 2015, Melissa was coming off of the public "redirection" of her, now viral, Shark Tank appearance. What some have deemed as a moment of rejection, ultimately proved to be a lesson in preparation for life's turning points, "When we had all the love and excitement from Shark Tank, I didn't know what to do with it. We didn't have the proper email flows, we weren't running any ads. I didn't know how to monetize it."
(photo: The Lip Bar)
"When we had all the love and excitement from Shark Tank, I didn't know what to do with it. We didn't have the proper email flows, we weren't running any ads. I didn't know how to monetize it."
Although Shark Tank served as an opportunity to generate awareness for the brand, it's not what Melissa attributes to The Lip Bar's initial growth. While on the show, she experienced harsh criticism from the panel of investors who weren't keen to the vision of her brand. In just five years since the episode aired, the foresight of The Lip Bar's collection of vibrant lipstick colors has proven to be a classic example of innovation before its time. But everything comes back around, and in true full-circle fashion, the brand was able to remain nimble while challenging trends and setting new markers for beauty ingenuity.
Now, Melissa continues to revolutionize the beauty world with the newest addition to her expanding "Fast Face" product line, the Quick Conceal, Caffeine Concealer. In a world where many brands are exploring the diversification of their complexion products with 20-50 shade rollouts, this 6-shade collection of brightening concealers challenges the notion of whether more is actually beneficial for the customer.
(photo: The Lip Bar)
"Everyone is probably going to think we're crazy for launching 6 concealers," Melissa jokingly shares about The Lip Bar's push to simplify the color-matching process for its customers. "The reality is that a lot of brands are launching 20+ shades of concealer but we've learned that it becomes more intimidating for the customer." At its core, The Lip Bar is all about streamlining the makeup process and eliminating the guesswork. Melissa's approach to complexion is all about understanding what universally works for each complexion family so her customers can get their desired look with no expertise needed.
Now more than ever, the attention has been brought to what brands are actually doing to create lasting change for their underrepresented customers. "I'm understanding that in time, things change, the customer's needs change. My job as the leader of the organization is to make sure that I'm always serving the customer." As universal beauty standards advance to be challenged and reimagined, Melissa continues to lead by making space for Black women in the beauty space to be seen as their whole and authentically beautiful selves.
"I'm understanding that in time, things change, the customer's needs change. My job as the leader of the organization is to make sure that I'm always serving the customer."
The inspiration within the formulation.
When she began formulating ingredients for The Lip Bar's newest and highly-requested concealer, Melissa stayed true to the brand's vegan and cruelty-free methodology by infusing avocado and macadamia oils for hydration and caffeine to awaken the under-eye area. "People take caffeine in the morning as religion because that's going to be the one thing that gets them through the day. This concealer is going to awaken your morning and beauty routine because of the caffeine and its brightening effects."
(photo: The Lip Bar)
As an on-the-go entrepreneur, Melissa understands the importance of creating products that make life easier for her customers. The Lip Bar's "Fast Face" philosophy and complexion-based shopping has informed their launches, making the Caffeine Concealer the perfect addition to amp up your morning routines. "It's close to your complexion to provide coverage for whatever blemishes you might have and blends into the skin for a buildable, sheer to medium coverage. "
On what it’s like being a Black business owner in the age of collective uprising.
June was a busy month for The Lip Bar. In fact, according to Melissa, "It was one of the best months for us in The Lip Bar's history." However, the hypervisibility that The Lip Bar and that many other Black-owned brands launched a wider conversation around why "Buying Black" is less of a momentary trend and more of a long-term fight for economic liberation. "I don't want charity dollars. I want life-long customers."
(photo: The Lip Bar)
(photo: The Lip Bar)
"I don't want charity dollars. I want life-long customers."
In the age of social media, our collective attention span is constantly being pulled in different directions, so much that it has become increasingly important to differentiate trends from long-lasting movements. After witnessing the hypervisibility of Black-owned brands peak during the month of June, Melissa saw the need for a space where Black-owned businesses could be easily accessed in order to drive economic empowerment within the Black community. This motivated Melissa to co-found The BLK Pact, a dictionary of Black-owned businesses for people to pledge their allegiance to, reducing the economic deficiency and growing the economic empowerment within the Black community.
This initiative informs individuals on not just how to support Black-owned businesses, but what's at stake if they don't. "There's some alarming statistics out there, one of which says by 2053, the median household wealth could reach zero for Black households. So I know how important it is to make sure that we're focusing on supporting Black-owned businesses, but more importantly, it can't be a trend."
Conversations around diversity and inclusion are being reshaped to go beyond just making products to meet a quota. The goal is for the support of Black-owned businesses to be woven into the fabric of our community and to build awareness through information sharing. "I want to make sure we're going in with intention and longevity in mind. That has been the most helpful and has inspired people to continue on that journey."
To purchase your own Quick Conceal, Caffeine Concealer, click here. And for more of Melissa, follow her on Instagram @melissarbutler.
Featured image courtesy of The Lip Bar.
- How Lip Bar Founder Melissa Butler Went From 'Shark Tank ... ›
- The Lip Bar's New Fresh Glow Launch Reminds Us That We Can ... ›
- Dulce Candy Ruiz Quits YouTube - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Lip Bar Founder Melissa Butler, Boss Up - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Meet The Lip Bar 's Young, Black and Flawless Founder • EBONY ›
- The Lip Bar Launches Fresh Glow Bronzer-Blush Duos for Every ... ›
- The Lip Bar Launches Fresh Glow, a Bronzer-Blush Duo for Every ... ›
- The Lip Bar Just Launched 5 New Products And They Aren't Lipsticks ›
- How Melissa Butler Launched the Lip Bar - Lip Bar Products at ... ›
- The Lip Bar - Challenging the Beauty Standard ›
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Age-Gap Dating Is HUGE Right Now. Still...Read This Before Doing It.
If you’re someone who’s been reading my content for a while, you know that I’m pretty big on accountability (with both men and women), and that means sometimes I will call out blatant hypocrisy and double standards. Today? It’s the fact that I find it to be mighty interesting that when an older woman is dating a younger man, she’s usually considered to be a “cougar” yet when an older man dates a younger woman, suddenly he’s a “perv” (short for pervert).
It's important to bring up that super unfair comparison because, when it comes to a particular dating trend that’s on the list of being a really big dating trend right now, it’s both men and women who are looking to get in on it — and if it’s good for one gender (within reason), in all fairness, it should be seen the same way for the other (again, within reason).
So, with that said, whatever it is that I’m about to share on the topic of age-gap dating, just know that I have no bias; I simply think it’s important for men and women, younger and older, to take a very realistic approach to this kind of dating…because as with pretty much everything in life, it has its pros and some, well, cons too.
Popular Doesn’t Automatically Mean Best
GiphySomething that has kind of always fascinated me about our culture is how so many people will abandon all common sense and logic, just to do something that is considered popular. Well, at the end of the day, that’s pretty much what a trend is: something that is currently done by a lot of people for…whatever the reason. When it comes to dating trends, specifically, oftentimes, they are “birthed” out of surveys from dating sites or apps. When the people who conduct them notice that something is overwhelmingly preferred, encouraged, or supported, then it becomes a trend — and that’s just where age-gap dating came from.
Long story short, Bumble kinda-sorta-recently did a survey and discovered things like 63 percent of folks don’t factor in age when it comes to dating, and 59 percent of women said that they would date a younger man; those are pretty large numbers, and so, there ya have it: a trend.
I will say that although the study wasn’t super-duper specific about when an age gap is considered to be too much of one,Glamour published an article a few years back that said, 10-plus years between two people is enough to start causing some issues if one is not careful (more on that in a sec). And so, before you decide to get out here lookin’ for a youngin’ or a more — eh hem — mature man, just because it currently seems like everyone else is open to it, consider if 10 years — backward or forwards — is something that you would want to deal with; especially long-term.
If you’re not sure, keep reading. Hopefully, I will provide some things for you to ponder.
Difference in Age Means Differences Everywhere
GiphyI’ve got people in my world who have big age gaps in their relationships. I’m talking about more than just 10 years. One example that immediately comes to mind is a married couple who has 15 years between them; the wife is older. On some levels, everything seems cool and copasetic. Oh, but there are nuances. Like she can be very condescending when it comes to what he finds to be fun and entertaining. Plus, their sex drives are not even close to being compatible now that she is well past menopause. It’s interesting because, rather than acknowledging that a lot of all of this has to do with their vast age differences, she prefers to see him as being immature. He’s not immature, sis. He’s just a lot younger than you are.
So, when it comes to age-gap relationships, that’s the first thing that you should think about: are you willing to deal with the differences that will probably come about, simply because you are at different stages in your lives due to your different ages?
Example: Because people say that I don’t look my age (‘preciate it), it’s not uncommon for folks to try and set me up with someone who is in their early 30s. For the most part, I’ll pass. For one thing, I intentionally decided that I didn’t want to have kids a long time ago, and I don’t want to have that discussion/debate with someone who may feel otherwise (quite possibly because they don’t have kids or want more of them). Also, I’ve worked with people, in the lane of relationships, for quite some time now.
Men before 35? For the most part, I encourage their focus to be on themselves and building their life (because a lot of guys don’t hit their professional and financial peak until their late 40s or early 50s). As for myself, I’m pretty settled, so I don’t want to be a hindrance when it comes to them up and moving a few times or switching career paths. Do that babe. You should.
I could go on and on when it comes to this particular point. The bottom line is dating someone who has a semi-significant age difference from you and then having a problem with the differences that come along with it is like really enjoying the summertime and then expecting winter to act like it…just because you do. Feel me?
Age-Gap Dating Requires Being a (Patient) Student. And Teacher.
GiphyWhenever people talk to me about the hours that they spend (or is it waste?) arguing with folks on social media, something that I will oftentimes say (for instance) is, “Some of those folks weren’t even born when Freaknik happened. Let them come to the wisdom and insight that you have, due to your age, on their own.” Same thing goes for age-gap dating.
When it comes to these celebrity relationships, so many of them switch up like they change their underwear, so I won’t even give specific examples. If you surf or scroll on a daily basis, though, you know that there are some older women dating younger men and older men who are dating younger women who show all the signs in the world of heading for a real roller coaster ride because…they are simply at two totally different points in their life.
For instance, when you’re in your 20s, it’s not automatically a red flag that you want to go to the club often. Oh, but when you’re in your 40s, you can be tempted to tell them that it is — even though you did the same thing when you were their age. You know, just because you’ve “been there and done that” before, that doesn’t mean you should look down on them because they haven’t (yet).
Yeah, that’s another challenge about age-gap dating and age-gap relationships: you tend to think that you should be someone’s parent instead of their partner.
So, do I think that age-gap dating can never work? No, that’s not the case. What I will say is if you’re not a very flexible person, you are about to be pissed, often. Because when you’re with someone who has a different view of things that you do, and a part of it is because they are a different age than you are, you’ve got to be willing to teach some things that could help them to grow and also learn some things that could help you to become a better person — whether they are the older one or not.
Take two of my clients where, again, the husband is younger (by nine years) and the wife is older. He says all of the time that if he had not come into her life, she would’ve aged faster because she owns the fact that she’s not naturally a very adventurous person. At the same time, because of her influence in his life, he’s better with time management, which has helped him professionally, because she’s a huge planner (something that she learned to become due to “fumbling some balls” back when she was younger). See what I mean: the student as well as the teacher.
Does this apply to all relationships? It should. I’m just saying that when age-gap dating comes into play, lessons tend to pop up often and sometimes, very unexpectedly, simply due to folks being at various places and stages due to their age alone. If you can’t fathom dealing with that, age-gap dating is probably not something that you should get involved with.
Casually Doing It Can Tend to Backfire
GiphyOkay, so what if you’re someone who wants to do some age-gap dating on a casual level? What could possibly go wrong there? Well, from reading some of my other articles (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”), you’ll already know that I’m not big on the meaning of casual: apathetic, careless, off-hand, without serious intention. Me? Especially at this age, I have zero energy or interest to be dealt with on a casual basis (whew, chile). And what if you’re the one who wants to take this approach? I mean, you’re grown, right? Do you.
I will just give the heads up when it comes to, say, wanting to have a casual sexual situationship with a younger man, while there is more content out here that says while 20-somethings may be having more sex, it’s the people in their 40s who are actually enjoying it the most (which means that it shouldn’t be assumed that the young guys do it better), science is science — and science says that testosterone levels are at their highest when a man is in his 20s. Meanwhile, for us, we are reportedly able to have the most consistent orgasms while we’re in our 30s. Where am I going with all of this?
I actually didn’t become sexually active until college. My first love was younger than I, and goodness, when didn’t he want to hump my leg? The college period was like a sea of raging hormone vessels with free rooms in the form of dorms. Chaotic and damn near diabolical in hindsight. LOL. And a big part of that is because guys have testosterone surging, and we as women are hella fertile. Getting off stays at the forefront on some level (at least for most of us).
The challenge with that is a lot of people who are hormone-driven may not necessarily be relationship-minded. And once you hit your late 30s-40s, after a couple of months of mind-blowing sex (perhaps), that could get old, especially if the sweet young thang doesn’t have much more to offer than that. And so…where do things have to go? That’s the thing about casual…usually nowhere. Again, by definition.
I will say that if you just read all of that and was like, “Okay…and still, what’s the problem?” — hey, do you, sis. I just think it needs to go on record that once you reach a certain point and place in life, casual experiences with younger men can damn near seem brutal — and you can’t really blame them if you got turned out, yet they barely respond to any texts that don’t have sex on the menu. #justsaying
Make Sure to Be Extremely Honest About Your Needs. And Expectations.
GiphyLet’s swing to the other side of this: you dating an older man. I know someone who is currently doing that as well. She’s in her late 30s, and he’s in his early 50s. He’s stable. He’s smart. She said the sex is bomb. Dating him is fun, spontaneous, and full of surprises. So, what’s the problem? He’s super set in his ways. His values are hella traditional (hers are not).
More than anything, though, she wants to get married, and he’s divorced, so he has more of a “been there, done that” take on it. Does he have a problem with being exclusive? Absolutely not. However, having another wife or more children? His kids are grown. He’s mentally and emotionally past that time, too. And so, at a bit of a crossroads, they are — both are invested, and yet, because they are in different seasons of life, they don’t want the same things.
That’s another thing to consider when it comes to age-gap dating — if you are looking for something serious or substantial, you don’t really have time to waste when it comes to getting your needs and expectations out on the table. That’s why, past the first date to see if there is potential for a real connection beyond just chemistry, when it comes to age-gap dating, you really need to get your needs and expectations out there (on both sides) as soon as possible because — and pardon the pun — time is definitely of the essence.
___
A lot to think about? Yeah, perhaps. At the same time, is the age-gap something to be leery of? No. It’s just important to check your motives, be realistic, and not lie to yourself or the person you’re seeing about what you want to get out of it.
Because no matter how hot of a trend age-gap dating may currently be, you need to do what’s right and best for you…not merely what is…popular.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images