Five years in, and in most ways, there was not much to complain about while working for my company. I had flexibility, work-life balance, and a manager who was committed to my professional development. In the wake of COVID-19, I had grown to love our leadership and my team a bit more. Thoroughly impressed with the empathy, understanding, and accommodations made for its employees, I bragged to friends that I might retire with the company after all.
Then came Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd.
One hit after another, each death was a blow that left me breathless and afraid. As a daughter, mother, wife, and sister, I had never more clearly related to Fannie Lou Hamer's well-quoted notion of being so tired of being sick and tired.
Tears streamed down my face as I worked out to keep from punching a wall, collapsing or doing both. "He called for his mama," I said. Shock to my core by the one-second thought that this might one day be my son. Thoughts of Trayvon came next. I wondered if he too had thought of his mother in his last moments here. It was too much to bear. I let out a grunt, hurting for them and for all the black women that carried the burden of loving black men and black boys.
Helpless – the word that best describes what went unsaid between each pant I released to catch my breath.
Thankful – the sentiment that overtook me when I realized I still had the ability to catch my breath as did my husband and my son.
Furious – the rush of anger that overtook me as I realized how often I cried because we wanted to live.
Kandice Guice
Rest eventually found me, and I slept, but the feelings followed me into the next day, calling me to action. I logged into work, acting as expected while hurting within. I thought about how strange it was that everyone else seemed to be in a silo, unaffected by the happenings of the outside world. No one said anything to acknowledge how it must feel, how I must be coping with it all. No one uttered a word.
As if God knew I needed it, the CEO sent out an email blast acknowledging the slaying of George Floyd, imposing a call for empathy, and noting the mental health of black employees. I felt a bit seen in that moment, taking a full exhale to release the tension that had built between conference calls, emails, and chats. His message would have been enough had I not thought more about my hurt and my experiences.
A few years prior, I cried at my desk. I was mad at a racial comment made by a colleague and mad that I did not say anything for fear of being shamed because of my legitimate anger and being dubbed an angry black woman.
Those tears had been the last straw. I vowed that I would never again shrink myself or be silent in moments that mattered.
Kandice Guice
These thoughts in mind, I wrote an open letter to my CEO expressing my experiences and asking for his help activating change. In it, I petitioned for increased diversity and inclusion efforts resulting in a better show of African-American leadership throughout the company.
Before pondering too long, I hit send with conviction in my spirit and confidence in my value-add. I was not sure what the outcome would be, but I knew I had to do my part. A part for which I am still committed to do.
In preparation for a response or an invitation to meet, I was sure to jot down instances that clearly spoke to my experience as a black employee and why it mattered. Next, I brainstormed key ideas and solutions for improving diversity and inclusion. Finally, I crafted a detailed explanation of how I could personally help with diversity efforts. It was important that I intelligently speak, not only to the issues, but the solution. Where I was unsure, I surveyed friends in the HR industry and reached out to leaders of more diverse organizations. Equipped with an action plan, I waited for a response.
"I know you are not the only person to feel this way, but you are the only person that took the time to express these concerns to me directly." These are words from my CEO that keep replaying in my mind.
Absent these set of circumstances, he would probably never know me by name. Yet today, he has a clear view of my company experiences, my suggestions for change, and my willingness to help steer this change. For more than an hour, we discussed ways to effectuate measurable outcomes for the benefit of African-Americans. I walked away with insight into his proposed next steps and reassurance that my black voice matters.
A day later, he shared action steps with the entire company. I beamed, feeling proud that I had beat fear and experienced a small victory. In addition to his email, the CEO connected me to the VP of Human Resources, recommending me for the diversity and inclusion team.
Some are afraid that change will die out as the hot topic of social injustice and diversity dies down. What I know for certain is that advocacy is a lifestyle for those who truly believe in a cause.
In my case, I will continue to fight for increased diversity and inclusion at work. I will not quit, give in, or get comfortable. Wherever I am in my life, I will stand up for what is right.
Kandice Guice
My challenge to you is to stand in your power and be bold in your approach. Take up space, trusting that regardless of the outcome God will honor your faith. If you are feeling inspired to initiate change in your workplace or perspective organizations, I have created an email template to help. I have also crafted an example list of ideas and solutions. Click here to get them. You can also follow my journey to initiate change on Instagram @kandiceguice, DM questions, concerns, and fears.
Know that I am willing and ready to put my hand to the plow by being a part of conversations, committees, and think tanks that address diversity and social justice concerns. Call on me. We are in the fight of our lives, but together we will win.
Featured image courtesy of Kandice Guice
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Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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Hodge, known for his iconic roles in One Night in Miami, Underground, Straight Outta Compton, and a host of other hit projects, will become Alex Cross, the “brilliant detective and forensic psychologist renowned for his uncanny ability to probe the darkest recesses of killers and their victims,” according to a press release shared with xoNecole.
Moderated by Chris Witherspoon, the panel during this year’s CultureCon featured Hodge and his co-star for Cross (and fellow hearth throb) Isaiah Mustafa.
After a special screening for the community builders, creatives, tastemakers, and everyone in between, the trio discussed the theme for the forthcoming show, how it pays homage to the original book series by James Patterson but is its entirely own story, and much more.
Following the conversations, guests could party with Hodge at an exclusive after-party.
“Cross is set to push the boundaries of suspense and storytelling, crafted by the visionary Ben Watkins, who serves as both showrunner and executive producer,” read an official statement for this show.
Photo by Aaron J. Thornton/WireImage
“His creation promises a complex and twisted narrative that will keep audiences on the edge of their seats. Joining Hodge in this high-octane thriller is a talented ensemble cast including Isaiah Mustafa, Juanita Jennings, Alona Tal, and Samantha Walkes, each adding depth to this multifaceted drama.”
During an interview with Blavity’sShadow & Act this summer, Hodge opened up about playing the iconic character previously serving as the protagonist in the James Patterson novel series dedicated to Alex Cross.
“I’m excited because this is a completely different Cross than anyone has seen before,” said Hodge. “You get to explore every element of what makes cinema entertaining. It’s a sexy show. It’s a dangerous show. I feel like I’m stuck in the coolest psychological thriller ever. We get to explore all the facets of his life, his world, his manhood, family man, brotherhood, trying to explore new relationships, and what that means to him.”
He added, “This show goes there. It dives deep and I just love the fact that people are going to get something they do not expect.”
All eight episodes of Aldis Hodge as Alex Cross will premiere on Nov. 15 only on Prime Video.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage