I Left My 7-Year Career As A Lawyer To Move Abroad & Reset My Life
Burned out. Stressed. Just all around unfulfilled at times. From the outside, looking in, my life was great. I was a lawyer, I had my own apartment, my car was paid for, and I was personal training on the side. I was taking trips and, to others, I was #goals. But your girl was tired.
I always had the desire to move abroad, but I didn't know how people would react and I didn't know what steps to take to do so. I knew that practicing law abroad was out because I would need to take an overly expensive exam to do so. I was good on that.
I had several friends that moved abroad after college to teach English in Asia. Again, this was right after college when most people are still trying to figure out life but still put money in their pockets. So, it made sense. But what about someone who has been in their career for the last 7 years? A career that you put so much time, money, and effort trying to get?
I knew I would get several side-eyes for my decision, but I could no longer stand to be in the rat race that I was in. After lots of research, praying, and chatting with friends who had done it—I knew it was what I wanted to do.
I settled on going to South Korea because I didn't have a teaching degree that other countries require and they had the best benefits package for those without credentials. Yes, it was a significant pay cut from what I was used to but the cost of living made it worth it. Plus, my apartment, utilities, and healthcare were covered, which was something I definitely wouldn't get at my regular job. I would make about $2,000 each month plus receive a nice pension for each year that I carried out a contract.
I initially went through a recruiter, but that didn't work out. I posted in a Black expats in Korea Facebook group, asking if anyone had any other leads and, minutes later, another woman messaged me about a program she was working for that had a great reputation. I reached out to the rep and somehow, someway within weeks I was hired to become an English teacher in Korea.
It took some time to explain this to my mother, mostly because she's never been one to understand my need to travel the world, but after a few months, it clicked that my mind was made up and nothing could stop me from going. Lucky for me, the time that I would need to be in Korea to start was right around the same time that my lease was up at my apartment. Talk about divine order.
I officially left the states on July 20, 2017.
I was anxious, nervous, and excited. So many emotions were running through me all at once. I had watched several YouTube videos to get an idea of the Black experience there, but I took it with a grain of salt because each experience is what you make it. I was assigned to teach in two elementary schools in a city about an hour outside of Seoul. I instantly connected with the kids and knew that I was where I was supposed to be.
Sure, there were rough days and the language barrier was tough but prior to going, I spent time on my own learning their language too so that I could show them that me being there wasn't a one-sided thing; it was for us all to learn from each other.
During my one year abroad, I was truly my happiest self. I was refreshed and glowing. I traveled often, bonded with an amazing group of Black women who kept me sane, and learned more about who I was as a person.
The plan was to stay longer than a year, however, I had a minor situation with a racist business owner that left a bad taste in my mouth. This happened around the time that we had to give notice if we would renew our contract. As things go, I was over the situation within days but it was too late to change my decision.
I moved back to the States on August 8, 2018. I've been back a little over a year now. I miss my life abroad often. While I'm not 100% back in the rat race I was in before, I miss the freedom and peace of mind that I had while being there. Not having to worry about bills, or keeping up with the latest styles and trends. I could unapologetically be myself there.
I am making the most of my time at home, but I also see myself making a move abroad again. Something keeps calling me back and I just can't stay away!
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images