Beyoncé On The Importance Of Seeing Her Self, Her FUPA & Teaching Love To Our Sons
"I've worked long and hard to be able to get to a place where I can choose to surround myself with what fulfills and inspires me." — Beyoncé
The process of growth looks different for everyone, but one underlying constant is the ability to self-reflect and to take what can sometimes look like difficulties and find the lesson hidden underneath.
Beyoncé recently opened up about her life and career, and the insight she exclusively reveals in this year's September issue of Vogue is poignant, introspective, and empowering. The typically private singer and songwriter took full creative control of this cover shoot and hired Tyler Mitchell, a 23-year-old Tisch School graduate, videographer, and photographer, as the first African American to shoot the cover in Vogue's 126-year history.
Although she declined to do the typical sit-down interview, she instead chose to pen her own personal messages to accompany the artistically "stripped" down shots. Regarding her decision to hire Mitchell and present a more natural version of herself, she says:
"I think it's important for women and men to see and appreciate the beauty in their natural bodies. That's why I stripped away the wigs and hair extensions and used little makeup for this shoot…Until there is a mosaic of perspectives coming from different ethnicities behind the lens, we will continue to have a narrow approach and view of what the world actually looks like. That is why I wanted to work with this brilliant 23-year-old photographer Tyler Mitchell."
Inclusion is so important: it gives us our just due and it also reminds us and those around us that our stories and our perspectives are important, too. Beyoncé also recognizes her responsibility to continue to push for more inclusion and representation for people of color in all industries and walk of life.
"When I first started, 21 years ago, I was told that it was hard for me to get onto covers of magazines because black people did not sell. Clearly that has been proven a myth. Not only is an African American on the cover of the most important month for 'Vogue,' this is the first ever 'Vogue' cover shot by an African American photographer…It's important to me that I help open doors for younger artists. There are so many cultural and societal barriers to entry that I like to do what I can to level the playing field, to present a different point of view for people who may feel like their voices don't matter."
Continuing in the topic of inclusion, she also mentions that as the mother of two girls, she wants to empower them in the same way her own mother empowered her: to be able to see herself. Seeing images of women that look like "us" in all different arenas will undoubtedly have an affect on how young girls perceive themselves and the levels of success that they are able to achiever. Ultimately, Beyoncé wants her girls to be "authentic, respectful, compassionate and empathetic." She says:
"My mother taught me the importance not just of being seen but of seeing myself. As the mother of two girls, it's important to me that they see themselves too—in books, films, and on runways. It's important to me that they see themselves as CEOs, as bosses, and that they know they can write the script for their own lives—that they can speak their minds and they have no ceiling. They don't have to be a certain type or fit into a specific category. They don't have to be politically correct, as long as they're authentic, respectful, compassionate, and empathetic. They can explore any religion, fall in love with any race, and love who they want to love."
The mother of three also has a powerful message she wants to pass on to her son. In this internet age, it is also important for our boys to see the many facets of what it really takes to be a man. Outside of being tough and ready to provide, we don't always get enough images of men being vulnerable, loving, and compassionate toward others. Beyoncé wants to help change the narrative for what manhood looks like and reveals that she wants her son to have a "high emotional IQ." She writes:
"I want the same things for my son. I want him to know that he can be strong and brave but that he can also be sensitive and kind. I want my son to have a high emotional IQ where he is free to be caring, truthful, and honest. It's everything a woman wants in a man, and yet we don't teach it to our boys...I hope to teach my son not to fall victim to what the internet says he should be or how he should love. I want to create better representations for him so he is allowed to reach his full potential as a man, and to teach him that the real magic he possesses in the world is the power to affirm his own existence."
Beyonce/Instagram
At 36 years old, Beyoncé has far eclipsed most of her peers in the music arena. And while many of her fans prop her up on a throne of superhero proportions, Beyoncé in fact is just a human being like the rest of us. She has previously shared her struggles with suffering miscarriages, and now she has opened up about having to undergo an emergency C-section for the birth of twins Sir and Rumi. The singer tells Vogue that she and her husband, Jay-Z, spent many weeks in the NICU and the recovery from such a major surgery had her in "survival mode." She reveals:
"I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month.
My health and my babies' health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section. We spent many weeks in the NICU. My husband was a soldier and such a strong support system for me. I am proud to have been a witness to his strength and evolution as a man, a best friend, and a father. I was in survival mode and did not grasp it all until months later...Today I have a connection to any parent who has been through such an experience. After the C-section, my core felt different. It had been major surgery. Some of your organs are shifted temporarily, and in rare cases, removed temporarily during delivery. I am not sure everyone understands that."
Anyone who has had a C-section knows how long the recovery process is and that there are so many layers to it. In addition to the physical body healing, acceptance of the new body many women are left with after any birth is also a process itself. Beyoncé reveals that she watched her entire body changed, so she gave herself time to practice self-care in order to fully embrace her new curves. She's even claiming her FUPA! She says:
"I needed time to heal, to recover. During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be...I have a little mommy pouch, and I'm in no rush to get rid of it. I think it's real. Whenever I'm ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be."
Though she is an entertainer, wife, mother, and icon, Beyoncé is also a businesswoman. Growth is the ability to take a hard look at all the disappointments we've gone through, be it personal and professional, and take them with us as lessons rather than as pain. She says through all of these experiences, she's able to laugh and grow. She reveals that when she thinks of her 20-year-old self, she feels more beautiful and powerful now than she ever did before.
"I have had disappointments in business partnerships as well as personal ones, and they all left me feeling neglected, lost, and vulnerable. Through it all I have learned to laugh and cry and grow. I look at the woman I was in my 20s and I see a young lady growing into confidence but intent on pleasing everyone around her. I now feel so much more beautiful, so much sexier, so much more interesting. And so much more powerful."
Beyoncé has taken this coveted moment (covering the September issue of Vogue) and made it about more than just herself. She can recognize herself in others and wants other to see themselves in herself, as well. Her ability to tell her story in such a humble and inspiring way leaves the impression that she has become even clearer in her mission and purpose as an artist.
To read more of her excerpts for Vogue, click here.
Featured image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Anheuser-Busch
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Issa Rae On Burnout & Why Protecting Her Marriage Is The Ultimate Act Of Self-Care
Brooke DeVard created theNaked Beauty Podcast in 2016 as an experiment to tell the stories of people who view beauty, wellness, and fashion as a form of self-expression. The podcast connects with people who share a similar approach and love for the practice of living through the lens of beauty and wellness. DeVard finds inspiration in people who take risks with their self-expression.
Who better represents self-expression than THEE Issa Rae?
Homegirl has been empowering us to be our most authentic selves for over a decade. Issa Rae’s The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl redefined representation by showcasing a relatable, quirky, and imperfect Black woman navigating life’s challenges. Through humor and authenticity, she dismantled stereotypes and empowered audiences to embrace their individuality. Rae’s work highlighted that Black women can be multifaceted and vulnerable while still deserving of love and success.
Beyond representation, she created opportunities for other Black creatives through her production company, Hoorae, fostering inclusion in Hollywood and inspiring a new generation to tell their stories unapologetically.
So, when Issa and Brooke decided to have a kiki on Naked Beauty, best believe we were locked in. Keep reading for the moments that highlight her journey through self-discovery, embracing her authenticity, and prioritizing her well-being.
On Feeling Beautiful
The Insecure starshared that she didn’t feel beautiful until visiting Senegal at 16-17. Seeing people who looked like her was life-changing. “What I look like was the beauty standard was life-changing.” She went on to say, “LA was not the place to feel beautiful, I will say that.”
On Her Hair Relationship Evolution
Issatransitioned from seeing her natural hair as a “burden” to embracing it after seeing more natural hair representations in college. She cut it all off to promote Awkward Black Girl and encourages others to do the same at least once because it changed her life. Issa proclaimed, “It really frees you of your hair expectations in a lot of ways.” The actress continued, “Being free was a feeling I had never felt before.”
Miss Coco Chanel once said, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” A fresh haircut's transformative power can create a sense of confidence and a sharp new look, symbolizing new beginnings. This sentiment is echoed in Coco Chanel's famous quote, highlighting the profound impact of a well-executed hairstyle.
When it comes to the natural hair moments on Insecure, Issa’s collaboration with Felicia Leatherwood was everything. Together, they created iconic natural hair moments for the show even when Issa had three inches of hair.
On Advocating for Herself
She has learned to advocate for herself but admits she sometimes overdoes it. “Sometimes I advocate a little too hard and have to fall back… I know I’m not always right.” With having one opportunity to get it right, she holds it dearly while she also sees the power of collaboration.
On Her Movie 'One of Them Days'
SZA and Keke Palmer’s roles stood out in the trailer dropped a few weeks ago. Issa shared, “SZA was a muse for Insecure. Keke can make anything entertaining… I have a new respect for her.” She calls their chemistry “funny as fuck” and “immediately amazing.” She can’t wait for people to see them together.
On Style Evolution
The LA native recognizes that she has become more aware and intentional about her style choices over time. Issa Rae's red carpet style is anything but safe. She's known for her bold prints, statement heels, and a particular fondness for jumpsuits. Over the years, Rae has graced events in show-stopping pieces by top designers.
Memorable looks include a frilled Off-White dress at the 2017 MTV Movie & TV Awards, a custom Pyer Moss jumpsuit adorned with 180,000 Swarovski crystals at the 2018 CFDA Awards (where she also broke ground as the first Black female host), and a stunning icy blue Vera Wang jumpsuit at the 70th Annual Emmy Awards. The woman is a star in every way.
On Skincare Routine
Issa recently had skin tags removed, aiding her “poreless” complexion. “I wasn’t always a ‘sunscreen girly.’ ” Her current skincare routine includes hyaluronic acid, Vitamin C serum, and her favorite product, Dewtopia by Ole Henrikson.
On Work and Self-Care
It’s no secret that Issa loves working but she shared that she honors self-care through baths, time with friends, and random outings. And on the drinking and smoking front, she says that she’s much more of a sipper than a smoker… very different from Issa Dee.
On Privacy and Boundaries
Protecting her privacy is a part of her self-care. She believes it’s important to keep things private and precious. “Being able to know that this is mine and nobody else’s,” is what serves her most. We saw this actualize when she popped out with a whole husband and we had no clue. But we get it because sometimes you have to protect what you hold dear when you’re in the spotlight. Issa also believes that other people are significantly more interesting than her.
On Burnout
Issa has gotten better at taking time off but admits struggles with burnout.“Sometimes unhealthily in terms of shutting down. It manifests as powering through, which is also really unhealthy.”She now has one day a week where she does absolutely nothing.
Watch her interview with Brooke in full below:
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Featured image by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images