Quantcast
How To Support Someone Who's Suffered From A Miscarriage

How To Support Someone Who's Suffered From A Miscarriage

Motherhood

Is it just me or does it seem like infertility is a much more common struggle?


I don't know if it's because we're getting older and realize it more, or if it's truly something that more women are going through way too regularly. I'm at the age where many of my closest friends have attempted to grow their families only to suffer losing an unborn child. It's heartbreaking for me so I can't even fathom how devastating it is for them.

While it seems impossible for me to be there for them because there's no way I can understand, it's not completely out of the question. It's really just about knowing your friend and what she needs from you, if anything.

Here's a few things you can do for your friend to support her after experiencing a miscarriage:

Pray For Her.

Pray with her, when she's not around, and especially when she doesn't ask you to; because in some cases, she won't. Depending on when she shares this news with you, prayer could be the furthest thing from her mind as her pain and devastation take over. That's where your strength comes in to help her out.

Whether it's over the phone, in person, or even through text messages, don't just be a person who says, "Oh girl, I'm praying for you." I think it means more when you actually do it consistently and constantly. She might not tell you she needs it, but there will definitely be indescribably tough moments when your prayers will help her through.

Give Her Hope.

I remember when a girl I didn't know that well told me she and her husband suffered a miscarriage around the time her father-in-law passed away. Talk about unspeakable heartbreak and devastation. I then shared that some of my really close friends had lost their unborn child but now have amazingly healthy and beautiful children.

It was really an encouragement for her to hear that just because she had a miscarriage, didn't mean that she shouldn't have hope to be a mother one day. Now I can add her to that list of my friends who have children because she and husband now have the most adorable baby girl. No matter what it looks like for your friend, give her constant encouragement that there's hope for her too.

Just Listen.

I know I said to pray for her and give her hope, which are both really important factors. But there are also times when she just needs you to listen.

There's a time for prayer and encouragement, but there's also a time when you have to be the silent version of yourself and listen to her heart. When she's finished, that might not necessarily be an invitation for you to share your piece, thoughts, and opinions. Instead, just let her know that you love her, that you're here for her whenever she needs you, and give her a hug. It's not the solution to everything, but it will certainly help.

Be Supportive In the Way She Needs.

While it's so easy to try and give other options of how your friend can become a mother in hopes of healing her pain, that might not be the best idea based on the type of person she is. Yes, the ideas of adoption and having a surrogate are very possible ways she can live out her dream to be a mom, but that doesn't take away from the fact that her world has been crushed as she lost her child that she developed an unspeakable bond with.

While those options are possibilities, they might not seem the same to her. At least not in the moment. But if she does choose to go that route, you can be the best friend in the world by supporting her decision to the fullest if or when she finally decides.

Realize You Can’t Fix It.

When you have a best friend experiencing something negative, it's only natural to jump into "that's my best friend" mode and want to fix it. Unfortunately, this isn't the same as some girl coming for her on social media. In this situation, there's absolutely nothing we can do to fix it, and sometimes that's the worst thing about it.

There's no need to say, "Oh girl I wish there was something I can do," because it just brings light to the fact that you really can't be there for her in the way you want. Instead, just being a listening ear for her. Letting her know you've got her back might be the best solution.

Ask Her What She Needs.

media.giphy.com

Sometimes, as much as we know our friend, we have no idea what they need in the moment. Sometimes, even she won't know what she needs. But when you ask, you're at least letting her know that whatever it is, you got her.

It might be something as simple as taking her children for the day or covering for her shift at work if she needs alone time. I think as long as you're ready to do a huge favor, or even no favor at all, asking her what you can do for her is just one of the ways you can help your friend after her loss.

Indulge Her.

Whether it's taking her out for a girls' night or staying in with a Netflix binge and ice cream, do something special for her. It might not take her mind off of it, but she will know that she's surrounded by an amazing support system. It will confirm to her that you really are that ride or die friend she's known you to be all along.

While she might look back at her loss and difficult time and feel sad all over again, it's very possible that she'll also remember you were there for her when she needed you the most.

Featured image by Shutterstock

Halle Bailey Talks 'The Little Mermaid' Backlash & Having A Forever Best Friend In Sister Chloe

Halle Bailey won our hearts alongside her sister Chloe when their cover of Beyoncé’s “Pretty Hurts” went viral when they were just teenagers, and from there they have become Grammy-nominated artists as the group Chloe x Halle thanks to albums like Ungodly Hour and The Kids Are Alright. Now, their fans have more to look forward to as Halle will be starring as the Disney princess Ariel in the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
The Power Couples In The Zodiac & Your Money Match Based On Astrology

When it comes to power couples in the zodiac, there are instant matches that make for love and financial compatibility. Some zodiac signs work better together than others, and considering financial challenges tends to make or break relationships--finding your money match is important. Not only that but there are certain signs in the zodiac that can enhance your financial world, just by being in it. Planetary energy in certain areas of your birth chart can provide higher success rates and opportunities, and compatibility energy varies by degree.

Keep reading...Show less
The Do's & Don'ts Of Having Sex On The Beach

I’ve never actually tasted a 'Sex on the Beach,' but I certainly have imagined doing it. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex fantasies, but this remains to be one at the top of my list. However, I continue to harbor some fear because it seems that beach sex is no easy feat.

Keep reading...Show less
The Evolution Of Serena Williams

It is like witnessing magic when you watch an athlete do what they do best. To see a mere human soar in the air over to the other side of a bar or to witness someone run at a speed quicker than a human thought. A basketball player defying gravity just to get a ball into a hoop. A ballerina turning their body into a top, spinning and spinning without fatigue.

Keep reading...Show less
Lori Harvey On Dating With A Purpose & Not Compromising Her Peace For Anyone

Lori Harvey’s dating life has consistently been a hot topic on social media and now the model is shedding light on some of her dating do’s and don’ts. In an episode of Bumble’s new “Luv2SeeIt” content series, the SKN by LH founder sat down with the series' director, producer, and host Teyana Taylor and disclosed some quote-worthy thoughts on dating and relationships.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

"I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift."

Latest Posts