

Being a woman is love but who are we kidding? It's also a challenge as we consistently work to merely chip away at the glass ceiling, throwing what feels like boulders at it. The only thing more difficult than being a working woman is doing so while being Black. The sage life advice of ancestors rings true, even from beyond the grave: You have to work twice as hard to get half of what they have.
Black excellence as a woman has never been easy to attain and it never will be, but that doesn't mean we can't keep demanding it in every space we step into but most certainly the place we spend the bulk of our time: The workplace.
That starts with knowing our worth in the workplace and asking for the big bucks for our big bag that we've been working twice as hard at getting forever. It's easy to feel intimidated or unable to advocate for yourself in any work setting because women are called b*tches, while men are framed as headstrong go-getters when they cut to the bottom line. But, there's no justice in shrinking ourselves to fit into a sexist society that tells us women are undeserving of a closed pay gap. So, how do we do it? How do we boss up and get this money in the words of an underrated Detroit rapper?
Well, these 7 black and brown women share stories and the most important things they learned about negotiating their salary throughout their careers:
Donna R., Audit Director at TD Bank
"Be able to verbalize and prove that you're an expert at what you do. Be known for thinking outside the box, stepping outside your comfort zone, and driving results."
Heather R., Manager of Employee Health at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital
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"I transitioned from working as a registered nurse in the Emergency Department 10 years ago. I worked 12-hour shifts three days a week. My new role was an exempt manager role that provided a nice raise. However, six months into the role I was provided additional duties based on my dual degree. The hours became longer but the pay did not change. I knew that was to my benefit. I also knew based on my work and the autonomy that I had that my boss trusted me and relied on me to get things done.
"I went to my boss with a prepared plan of action in writing. I methodically laid out the additional duties and the impact that I had with my current role, the hours involved, and the return investment the organization was receiving because I took on the additional responsibilities.
" Know your worth and add tax, meaning find a number you're okay with as compensation for your work and then ask for more providing room for negotiations. Also, do your homework and know what you bring to the table before asking for a raise. Be ready to provide examples of how your work has driven change and/or impacted the company."
Fabiana M., Publicist at Zilker Media
"If giving a hard number gives you anxiety, you can settle on a range (ex: 40K to 46K). This can help employers see you won't settle for less than a certain amount and can give you wiggle room for negotiations."
Joy C., Transformational Speaker
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"What I learned was how to make a case. When you're going to ask for more money, you bring the data and you do so with confidence. There was a little pushback when I first presented my request to the chair, prior to him taking it to the committee. I had made myself so invaluable, I used the circumstances of the organization (they had been without a director for over two years and so now they've got me on board, it made a big splash) and it's all in the papers, so they don't want to look bad by losing a CEO. They would've lost a lot had I walked and because of this, it didn't even make sense for them to argue with it."
"So it's about building a case, making yourself invaluable, and being assertive, not aggressive (we're Black women so you know how that goes), and then showing it in the numbers (they don't lie)."
"I locked that figure in (additionally 25K) and as a selling point, I opted out of being able to receive pay increases for the duration of my three-year contract. And while I was eligible for bonuses, this is not something I would do again nor do I recommend it. Lastly, I would say ask for more clarity on what is required of you to receive a bonus."
Keyantee D., Executive Director Human Resources
"Always talk to people in similar roles and ask about perks (increased life insurance, car allowance, extra PTO days) so that you can understand what negotiable perks are out there. The salary is just a small part of the overall compensation packet."
Tiffany J., Director of Patient and User Success
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"My biggest piece of advice for women who want an increase in their salary is to 'Know your worth.' I feel like this phrase gets used in many parts of life, from relationships, friendships, and even in your professional life. I realized in my current role that I was working above and beyond my title, and I started to compare what I was making to those in the industry. I did research online, spoke with previous co-workers, and realized I was underpaid. More than anything, this was hurtful, I took it personally. I thought, 'This company that I thought I meant so much to, how could they not pay me what I deserve?' My next step was figuring out, how do I have the conversation to get more money, where do I start?"
"So I found this book Secrets of Six Figure Women. The biggest takeaway from the book was to just ask. Men do it! Even if they don't qualify or have the necessary credentials. I had to learn to be brave and advocate for Tiffany because no one else will. I did my research to figure out an estimate of how much I thought I should be making and asked for it. When doing this, keep in mind that this is a starting point so you can negotiate down if necessary. Not only did I ask for a pay raise, [but] I also gave reasoning on why I deserved it. My strategy was to keep it professional, leaving my personal reasons and circumstances out and instead, focusing on the facts and outcomes that I have contributed to the company."
"Ultimately, I got what I wanted, and in all honesty the opportunity to make more money was always present, but no one gives you anything for free. You have to know your worth, and just ask."
"My last piece of advice is to be prepared in case they say no. I had a plan of my next steps in case I was denied my request. Because I know my worth, I knew if this company didn't pay me what I deserved, someone else would. Why? Because I am amazing at what I do!"
Ashley F., Healthcare Professional
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"I was given an opportunity to take on a director-level role within the organization and the role was to develop and grow a new service line or program in the hospital but also to take on additional responsibility within another service, as well. I was offered to take on this role, which I was thrilled about. To be so young and have so much responsibility trusted upon [me] was a big deal.
"Although there were other African-American women who held these roles, I was the youngest. I was given an offer for this role but I knew that it was significantly less than my peers [were] receiving. And to see that told me a lot of different things, but primarily that my age was the number one factor in the salary offer. Within post roles you have a pay grade – you'll have a minimum, a mid, and a maximum. And I knew that they were basically lowballing me in my offer.
"This led me to advocate for myself to demonstrate that not only was I prepared to take on this role but also that I had the experience, skill set, and education to do this.
"At the time, my boss was unaware that I spoke off the record to those within my network within HR about negotiating a fair salary. I brought the case to my boss and not to go above her, but I was prepared to take my argument to the head of HR and beyond. She was supportive and advocated for me to receive an increase in my salary offer.
"In essence, if I were to give a tip to other African American young women in any field: Know what type of role you have and how that aligns with your market. Know the scope of your role and do your research to see what salaries are comparable to that. Doing your research and knowing what's expected of you is important too. Job descriptions can often be vague and there's always that line at the bottom that says 'other duties assigned,' and you always want to keep that in mind because additional pay does not come with that. Be able to think five steps ahead and foresee the additional responsibilities.
"The last tip? Know your worth. Don't downplay what you're worth despite age, years of experience, or anything else – that confidence shows."
While I set out to pull together a running list of tips from these women, it seems that all of them had one solid piece of advice that covers every situation and organization that you may come across and as simple as it may seem, many of us forget to do so all too frequently: Know your worth and add tax, but be prepared to show your work.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Relationship Timeline
Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe are one of our favorite Hollywood couples. We can't get over their adorable moments together on the red carpet and on social media. While they're both from St. Louis, they didn't meet until college, which they both attended Stanford. And the rest is as they say, history. Read below as we dive into their decades-long relationship.
Mid to Late1990s: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Meet
Sterling and Ryan met as freshmen at Stanford University. "We were in the same dorm freshman year...that's kind of how we met," Ryan said in an interview with ET. "I was mesmerized," she said after watching him audition for the school play, Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Sterling revealed that The First Wives Club star was dating someone else, so they started off as friends.
"She got cast in the play as well, and we would ride bikes to rehearsal, and we would just talk. We found out that we were both from St. Louis. We didn't know that we were both from St. Louis, like, our parents went to rival high schools. We were born in the same hospital. Like, we were friends," he said.
The first few years of their relationship involved many breakups and makeups. However, they ended up graduating and attended NYU's Tisch Grad Acting Program together.
Early 2000s: Sterling K. Brown Tells Ryan Michelle Bathe She's 'The Love Of My Life'
The Paradise star opened up about telling Ryan that she was the one. "We broke up for three and a half years before we came back into each other's lives," he said. "She was on the treadmill working out, and I had this epiphany, 'I have to go tell this woman she's the love of my life.'"
"I go to her apartment, I tell her, and she's like, 'Well, I'm working out right now,' and I was like, 'No, I can see that—I'll just talk to you while you're on the treadmill,' and she's like, 'Well, I feel like going outside. So I'm gonna go on a run,'" he continued. "So I'm like dressed [in a suit], and she starts running through Koreatown, and I start running along with her. Brother had to work, but it was well worthwhile."
2006: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Tie The Knot
The St. Louis natives eloped in 2006 and a year later held a larger ceremony. According to the bride, the best part of their wedding was the food. "The best thing about it was the food," she told ET.
"Can I just say, sometimes you go to weddings, and you get the winner-winner chicken dinner and you're like, 'I pay. OK, it's fine.' But I wanted people to remember their experience -- their culinary experience. So I was happy about that. The food was good."
2011: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their First Child
In 2011, Sterling and The Endgame actress welcomed their first son, Andrew. In a 2017 tweet, Sterling revealed they had a home birth. "An unexpected home delivery is something my wife and I went through ourselves with our first born, so this was round 2 for me!" he wrote while referring to a scene involving his character Randall, in This Is Us.
2012: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Appear On-screen Together
A year later, the couple acted together on the Lifetime series Army Wives.
2015: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their Second Child
In 2015, Sterling and Ryan welcomed another son, Amaré. Sterling shared an Instagram post about their latest addition to the family. "1st post. 2nd child. All good! #imoninstagram," the Atlas star wrote.
2016: Ryan Michelle Bathe Joins Sterling K. Brown On 'This Is Us'
Ryan guest appears on her hubby's show, This Is Us.
Sterling K. Brown Reveals Ryan Michelle Bathe's Mother Didn't Like Him At First
During their sit-down interview for the Black Love series, Sterling revealed that Ryan's mother wasn't a fan of him, which caused friction in their relationship.
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Explain How Jennifer Lopez Once Broke Them Up
While visiting The Jennifer Hudson Show, Sterling and Ryan share their hilarious Jennifer Lopez break-up story. "We had just gone out, we were living in New York City, we were in grad school, and we had gone to see a Broadway play and we came back to my place and my roommate was playing the ["Love Don't Cost A Thing"] video on MTV," Sterling said.
"Now I'm a fan of Jennifer Lopez's dancing, and I was watching the video and I knew my young...21, 22-year-old girlfriend was looking at me watch the video. And I know I'm not supposed to have a reaction. In trying NOT to have a reaction, what had happened was, my eyes began to water."
Ryan jumped in, "Otherwise known as, TEARS! I turn around and my boyfriend is weeping, tears like big fat [tears]. And I'm looking and she's just a shakin' and a shimming, and he's just crying. I said 'Oh no, I got to go.' "
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Launch Their Podcast, We Don't Always Agree
The couple launched their podcast, We Don't Always Agree, where they disclose more intimate details about their love story.
Feature image by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock